Savage Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  But her suffering had not eased his pain or fed his hunger for revenge. In fact, her suffering had only served to increase his own. The hardships of the past two days would not compare with the sufferings she would endure when they returned to his vilage. I must not push her so hard tomorrow, he decided, or she wil be far too weak to survive the icapsinte. Without her knowing, I must find ways to let her rest and drink …

  He stood up, flexing his muscles to release their tautness. He went to sit beside her. His eyes surveyed her condition, the dirty, pale face which had lit up with such happiness at the sight of him. He could not prevent his hand from reaching out to caress her soft cheek. He was too mindful of a similar night two moons ago as he lay down beside her. How foolish his thoughts and plans had been on that night which now seemed so long ago.

  She whispered his name in her sleep and snuggled closer to him for warmth. He puled her into his embrace and held her tightly. His lips brushed hers in a lingering kiss. Even in her deep sleep, she responded to his kiss.

  Why did you flee from me after our last night together, Why did you flee from me after our last night together, Cinstinna? he pleaded silently. Did you not feel my desire for you?

  Sleep wel, Cante. Tomorrow you wil hate me and curse my rescue. My heart wil bleed for you, but it must be done. Perhaps you wil one day come to forgive and understand why I must do this thing. Until you return your love to me, I wil hold you to me as my kaskapi.

  At last, his troubled mind and weary body found the peace of slumber.

  Chapter Eleven

  Early the next morning, Gray Eagle was awakened by the shril cry of a hawk. He lay for a time listening to the piercing cries of a hawk in warning to another who had invaded his territory. He thought of the similarity of his position with the white man and the hawk. Both he and the hawk were forced to defend their territories against their enemies. First, each of them warned the trespasser to withdraw peacefuly. If not, they would battle for possession of the same territory. The victor would be the stronger of the two, and the loser would be driven out or kiled. Was this not the way it had been between his people and the white man or the Ojibwa? He watched the intruder fly off into the predawn light, wishing his enemy was as wise and relenting as that bird.

  Quietly, he arose and walked a short distance away to relieve himself. He stretched and flexed his tight muscles. When the sun peeped over the mountains, he was stil standing in the same place, thinking and planning.

  He knew he had never wanted a woman as he wanted this smal white girl who was his enemy. Was her total defeat realy necessary? Yes, she had made it so. What if he had shown her more kindness sooner? How could he blame her for doubting him and wanting to escape? He was confused by his feelings for her more than ever.

  He wondered if she had run in fear or in hate. He recaled their last night together and asked himself if she could have run because she was afraid to love him. He scoffed, how could she love me after she was afraid to love him. He scoffed, how could she love me after what I have done to her and her people? It was al lies and deceptions on her part. She must have thought I would be more lenient and kind to her if she fooled me into thinking she loved me. Maybe she realized that last night she could not pretend to love and want me any longer. She had only been waiting until the day I trusted her enough to leave her unguarded. Maybe she has even guessed how I realy feel about her and is trying to use those feelings against me. I cannot alow my desire for her to interfere with my honor or leadership. I do not have the power to grant you forgiveness, Lese. I wish I could see into your heart and know the truth which lives there.

  His eyes must have deceived him yesterday when he thought he saw her face light up at the sight of him standing there on the hil. Maybe he had only seen what he had hoped to see. He could not understand why she did not let the snake bite her and end it al since she had been so desperate to flee him. She said she had prayed for him to come for her. How could he realy know for sure how she felt and what she thought? How he longed to know what the real truth was…

  When he returned, Alisha was awake and sitting up on the skin. She was drinking some water and splashing some on her face from a cupped hand. As she dried her face with the edge of the blanket, he stared at the bruises on her hands. When she lowered the blanket, he stared at the stil visible bruises on her delicate cheekbones. He had given her those and many other reminders of his cruelty and. power over her. Sadly, there was more to come. She felt his eyes on her and looked up to meet his gaze, letting her gaze linger questioningly. His impassive look told her nothing, nor did his deadly, calm attitude.

  nor did his deadly, calm attitude.

  He sat down and took the wasna and aguyapi from his pouch. When he had eaten his fil, he passed the pouch to her. After his treatment to her the day before, she carefuly and suspiciously reached for the pouch. She knew she would have to wait until he was ready to reveal her fate to her. He passed her the mni skin. She ate and drank slowly. When she had finished, he repacked the pouch and skin and stood up to depart. He gathered the remainder of his possessions and caled for her to come to him. He retied her hands before they left. She was too confused and weary to resist his commands. Her only thoughts were to keep moving and folow him. They walked at a slow but steady pace, which was certainly easier for her. She did not stop to think or question that their pace was solely for her benefit. She wasn’t even suspicious at his frequent, unnecessary stops al day. He would use various excuses of checking tracks, finding water to refil the mni skin, shifting his packs or just resting himself. But at each stop, she would immediately drop wearily to the ground to rest. He would conveniently leave the water skin within her reach and pretend not to notice her drinking from it so often.

  By afternoon, they were back at the stream near his camp. When she caught sight of the water, she made a dash toward the stream. She was quickly jerked back by the leash on her wrists.

  “Water,” she pleaded. He ignored her pleas. “Mni, yuzaza,” she lapsed into his tongue, but he stil ignored her pleas. Although she had drunk sparingly from the water skin during the long, hot walk, the mni skin had been empty for the past hour and she was very thirsty. She was aware of the danger of drinking too much water when hot and excessively thirsty.

  Gray Eagle knew how sweaty, hot and tired she was, but did Gray Eagle knew how sweaty, hot and tired she was, but did not dare relent now. Nor did he trust himself to watch her bathe. He told himself he must remain cold to her until after her punishment was complete. He could not alow himself to show her any concern or mercy, especialy before his people.

  He puled Alisha through a shalow spot in the stream and continued moving on. The short contact with the cool water felt deliriously wonderful to her tired, aching feet. She would have resisted his cruelty if she had had the strength to pul back on the leash. Mutely, she pressed on behind him.

  White Arrow came to meet them as they approached the outer circle of camp. His keen eyes quickly scanned her for injuries, just as Gray Eagle’s had done when he first saw her. Her eyes met his and lowered in shame. Not too bad yet, he thought. To his friend, he said, “I see you have found her alive and brought her back as you said: Do those bonds mean she resisted your bringing her back? Is she injured in some way?”

  “She did not fight me this time. She is foolish, but not a fool, Wanhinkpe Ska. She has a few smal injuries, but she is mostly weak and tired. I found her just in time to save her from the rattlesnake. I had to kil it to save her life.” He held up the long row of rings for White Arrow to see.

  Fearing the answer he might receive, he asked, “What wil you do to her for this, Wanmdi Hota?’

  Gray Eagle stared off into the far distance and replied, “You know the punishment for this act and her constant disobedience—

  the icapsinte…”

  White Arrow’s breath caught in his throat and he hoped he had heard wrong. “The icapsinte! Surely I did not hear your words, my koda! She is no common slave, nor an Indian. She
is the slave my koda! She is no common slave, nor an Indian. She is the slave of Wanmdi Hota. You cannot do this! It would either kil her or scar her for life. Why do you wish such a punishment for her? You must find some other way to deal with this thing she has done.”

  “Is the slave of Wanmdi Hota any different than the slave of another warrior?” Gray Eagle asked. “A slave is a slave, Wanhinkpe Ska, and a bad one must be punished. I must do this. She has left me with no other choice this time. This is the punishment for her many deeds of rebelion. Can I treat her any differently than I would another? Do you think I can walk before the others in honor if I say I cannot punish this ska wayakayuha because I, Wanmdi Hota and son of a chief, wants and loves her as a man does a woman? I cannot yield to my enemy!” he retorted hotly.

  “Yes, you are the chief’s son and our leader while he is away. You have the power to withhold her punishment and give no reasons,” White Arrow spoke sharply to him.

  Gray Eagle’s head jerked in White Arrow’s direction and he glared at his best friend. He was alarmed at the tone in his voice and the angry expression on his face. “I would not have to give any reason. They would see and know why I do this. Can I say to them that we must hate the wasichu when I myself love one? Can I say to them that we must drive them from our lands and forests and then keep and protect one in my own teepee? A leader cannot speak one way and then live another. I must show my people I am strong and true to my teachings.”

  “You must find some way to do this for her and yourself. You are wise, my koda. Think upon this thing. Find some way to save and help her, and stil hold on to your honor. You must!”

  “She has disgraced me before my people,” Gray Eagle

  “She has disgraced me before my people,” Gray Eagle insisted. “She has taken my trust in her and cast it aside in contempt. It is past time for her to show respect to me. As was her dishonor before my people, so wil be her punishment. They wil al see and know it is Wanmdi Hota who rules his teepee, not his ska kaskapi. I have spoken and it shal be.”

  “It shal be, my koda. But first, I must tel you this. For the second time, I feel the fingers of warning touching my spirit. I hear the voices speak to me once more. I have felt and heard this warning about her before. I felt it the night you took her to the teepee sa. I felt it when you refused to heed my warning about a guard for her when we left two moons ago. Now, I feel it again when you declare her punishment as the icapsinte. Heed me wel, for I feel the chiling fingers brush my mind. I feel the wind from the wings of the black bird of death around me. I fear for her life, my koda. Must it be this way?”

  Gray Eagle looked confused and bewildered by his words and asked, “I do not see your meaning, Wanhinkpe Ska. How can there be danger of death in my actions? I do not wish to kil her. I wil control the apa myself. I do not seek great pain or death from her. I only seek the saving of my face. In time, she wil forget and accept that this was as it had to be. Do not let your heart blind your reason, Wanhinkpe Ska. You know it • must be.”

  White Arrow studied the words of Gray Eagle and knew they were true. There was no way out for either of them. If only he had heeded my warning, he thought, this would not be happening. I should have pressed harder when I felt those strange feelings haunting me. But that moon is gone and cannot be re-lived …

  White Arrow gazed into the pale, tense face of Alisha and agreed, “Yes … it must be as you say, but it wil bring much agreed, “Yes … it must be as you say, but it wil bring much unhappiness and pain to both of you. I wil not go against your words, my koda.”

  Alisha instinctively sensed that something was gravely wrong. White Arrow’s empathy reached out to her like a lifeline and puled at her. It appeared to her as if they were arguing about something which disturbed her friend greatly. The troubled looks he gave her and the tone of his voice warned her of some coming danger. It was clear Gray Eagle had the upper hand in the argument. She had seen White Arrow bow in submission to Gray Eagle’s words, as she had done so often herself. However, White Arrow’s submission looked reluctant.

  Perhaps my fate is far worse than I imagined, she thought. Even Wanhinkpe Ska cannot accept it. What could possibly be so terrible that he could do to me to cause my friend to go against Wanmdi Hota in order to help me? She watched the two very closely as they argued. She noted Gray Eagle’s victory and White Arrow’s unwiling surrender.

  Gray Eagle started to move forward again. She reached out and touched White Arrow’s arm, gazing tenderly into his jet eyes. “I sense you plead mercy for me, my koda. I do not know how to make you understand how much that means to me. I wish I knew the words to thank you for al you have done and for your friendship. I know he would not listen to you. He wil have his way. My destiny now lies in his hands. If it is death, then we cannot stop him or change his mind. Perhaps it is time for it to be over…”

  She smiled up into his face and gently touched his cheek with her fingertips. “Good-bye koda. May we both find the peace and happiness we search for.” She turned to folow Gray Eagle, leaving White Arrow standing there and staring after her. White Arrow standing there and staring after her. Within a few feet, White Arrow caught up with them and walked along with his friend. He asked Gray Eagle what Alisha had just said to him. Looking straight forward, Gray Eagle repeated her words to White Arrow. The brave was touched and moved by her kindness and understanding.

  White Arrow was concerned about the lack of vitality in Alisha’s eyes and voice. Her wan face and the darkened patches beneath her eyes told him of her weakened condition and loss of spirit. He had said he would not plead with Gray Eagle again, but he knew he must. “I wil ask you only once more, Wanmdi Hota, do not do this thing. She is weak and it is wrong. She has also felt the warnings of danger and death. I hear this in her words and voice. If she lives, she wil turn from you forever.”

  Gray Eagle stared straight ahead in troubled, brooding silence before he answered. “As she has said, her destiny lies within my hands, and her life, too. This is a part of it. As with the great landslides, she has pushed the first rock down the hil and I cannot change its path. As it travels, it gathers more trouble with it and creates much havoc and often pain and death. For once, Wanhinkpe Ska, the great and daring warrior Wanmdi Hota is powerless.”

  White Arrow walked away and could not look at her again. It took many long, painful steps to reach the ceremonial lodge to get the apa for the icapsinte. When he had the apa in his hands, he trembled with the desire to cast it into the fire and destroy it. He lowered his head, but could not pray. How could he pray for the right thing to be done when it would cause such harm and hurt to the one he loved? And yet, he could not pray for something to happen to his friend to prevent the harm and hurt. happen to his friend to prevent the harm and hurt. Alisha silently trailed behind Gray Eagle as he made his way between the rows of teepees in each circle. They encountered many curious, bewildered stares along their way. He led her to the center of camp to the very posts Ben and the others had died at. It seemed like ages ago now to Alisha. She thought, so my time has finaly ended here as I always knew it must.

  Time ceased to move. She felt suspended between minutes …

  waiting … for what or why or whom, she did not know. Surely not for rescue, for she could no longer hope for that. She halted in mid-thought. She stiffened and what little color was left in her ashen face quickly drained. White Arrow was standing before them with a whip grasped tightly in his strong hands. Surely this was not the terrible punishment they had argued over. With mounting alarm and disbelief, she realized it was. She had seen men whipped for crimes in the streets of London. Never had she witnessed a woman’s flogging. She vividly recaled the damage and pain the lash inflicted on its victim. She knew men had died from flogging. Why and how could he do this to her?

  His beating at her fortress flashed before her mind’s eye. Does he seek revenge on me for his lashing, after al this time? she thought desperately. I had nothing to do with his whipping. Didn’t he see
I tried to stop it? I had nothing to do with any of his abuse or evil treatment. Why does he wish to do these terrible things to me?

  There must be some mistake.

  She turned panicked, emerald eyes to him and studied his handsome, rigid face and icy eyes. She was horrified at what she read there. Sarcasticaly, she asked, “Am I to be beaten to death or only properly punished for the terrible crime of fleeing from Hel itself?”

  itself?”

  He did not acknowledge her question or the fact that she had even spoken. He bound her ankles to the posts with heavy rawhide thongs. “Somehow, I fear you aren’t trying to only frighten me. I think you realy intend to flog me. Or do you seek my life this time?’

  she asked fearfuly. “I believed I had seen and felt the heights of your hatred and brutality, but I was so wrong. There is no limit to them, is there? Wanmdi Hota, the great and fierce Oglala warrior who thrives on the blood of his enemies,” she threw the stinging accusation at him, his name spoken with contempt and her tone filed with sarcasm. He tried to ignore both her tone and words, but could not. He flinched inwardly at each.

  It was as if she had been wearing blinders which had suddenly been ripped off. Her situation was revealed to her with crystal clarity. She had been dreaming and fooling herself al along. She had never realy had any chance of a future here with him, nor any chance of happiness, let alone life. Her future was as grim and black as her past had been since the day she first met him. How could I have been so blind and stupid? she raged against herself. How could I have thought for one minute that things would ever be any better or different between us?

  She spat at him, “I shal pray to both our Gods that today wil finaly end this tragic farce. My death should be swift and final. I wil welcome it. It has been too long in coming. Why did I not see long ago this was the only way to realy be free from you and this life you have chained me to?”