Savage Ecstasy
Page 45
For once, Kathy was completely speechless. She could not believe that the gentle Alisha had struck back. But Alisha’s walk to her own death made her brave—and brutaly honest.
The gates closed behind Alisha and Powchutu. She listened as the huge bar fel heavily back into place. Eternaly and brutaly she was being shut out of their lives; and they, from hers. The inhabitants of the fort did not realize that their destinies had just been sealed with the closing of the gate. She was free; the fort was helpless. The warriors quickly realized that things were going just as the Great Spirit had shown them in their vision.
Alisha and Powchutu walked a short distance from the fort, just out of earshot of its traitorous inhabitants. He tugged at her elbow to halt her steps. She lifted inquiring eyes to his pain-filed ones. His heart was aching at her obvious anguish and raging at his inability to help her. They both sensed that this moment could be their last time even to talk.
She stood beside him in the bright morning light, wishing that time could be suspended, and with it, the torment and shame that it had brought into her life. She lifted her face up to the sun and inhaled deeply several times, trying to calm her racing heart and to inhaled deeply several times, trying to calm her racing heart and to bring some smal measure of comprehension into her confused brain. The need to show courage and dignity was past. Powchutu could read the desperation and hopelessness in her misty eyes. He cursed both the Indians and the white man for what they were doing to her, for never had there been one so beautiful and so blameless as she. The abject voice which spoke to him sliced his heart more quickly and expertly than his own hunting knife could have done.
“How is such injustice and hatred possible? Why can’t Gray Eagle leave me alone if he refuses to have a meaningful truce with me? Why must he continue to torment me this way? He has even turned my own people against me. It isn’t fair, Powchutu. I have done nothing to deserve al of this. Why must it be this way?”
He lowered his head, ashamed for his own guiltless part in her sufferings. “How can I explain what I do not understand myself?
The Great Spirit wil surely punish al of them for this dishonorable deed,” he déclarée heatedly.
Alisha felt as if her tender heart was being pierced by countless tiny arrows. “My whole life has gone topsyturvy in only a few short months, months which seem more like years. I feel as if each side has a cruel griŗ upon my life and is tearing it down the middle. I have no strength or means to stop them. I have seen such evil in this land, in these people. I hate the ugliness which surrounds me here. I hate what they have done to me. Worst of al, I hate these feelings of hatred and revenge which they have instiled within my heart,” she murmured sadly, just above a slight whisper. He studied the face of the English girl that he had come to love more than life itself. He wondered at the drastic changes that she had brought into his life and his heart. He, a half-breed scout, was in had brought into his life and his heart. He, a half-breed scout, was in love with a white girl whose heart and life were imprisoned by the fiercest warrior of al time. Far worse, she had unwisely alowed herself to fal in love with her dreaded enemy. He could not imagine how Gray Eagle could bring himself to hurt such a fragile woman. Powchutu recognized what his friendship had cost Alisha. He recognized emotions within her that she herself was unaware of possessing. He recognized that there was far more to this strange demand of Gray Eagle’s than met the eye. He gazed longingly into her tearful eyes and spoke from his heart, “I wil pray to both our gods that he wil not harm you this time. He is no fool, Alisha; he knows that you cannot be blamed for the raid upon his camp,” he stated to reassure her.
She sadly shook her head, auburn curls swaying gently around her slender shoulders. “But he can and wil blame me. To him, I am white; I am his enemy. My innocence or guilt wil not matter to him. They never have before.” Yet, even as she spoke these words, she had the strangest feeling that they were not wholy true. The sun had slowly climbed higher and higher, until it was almost directly over head. The mid-day air was arid and motionless. As she stood halfway between the long rows of painted warriors and the spiked fence of the fort, she could almost feel the surfaced hostilities. The moment of her fate had arrived; yet, she felt almost as much excitement as she did fear.
Both the warriors and the soldiers watched the tender and baffling scene taking place between the stunning white girl and the half-breed scout. Everyone was wondering what was being said between them. They wondered what was causing their delay. They pondered why the scout was not bringing the girl promptly to Gray Eagle. They had waited for a long time.
Eagle. They had waited for a long time.
The people inside the fort became very apprehensive and angry as more time passed and Alisha did not make a move to go directly to the waiting warrior. The thought crossed many minds that she and the scout were intentionaly trying to antagonize him, perhaps hoping for revenge upon al of them. Fearfuly they asked themselves, why not? Hadn’t they forced her to return to that savage warrior? Had any of them cared that she had come from his camp only a few weeks ago, come with a mass of weals from the flogging that he had given her? They feared that she only wanted to force a fight between them, a way to punish both sides. They could not help but fear that she would not help the people who had refused to befriend her.
It was much the same with the numerous colorful warriors. They were greatly perplexed by her actions. If eyes and senses could be trusted, she and the scout were good friends. The inexplicable thing was that she could like, or trust any Indian, even a half-blooded one, after what Wanmdi Hota had done to her and to her people. She was indeed a mystery. Some decided that Gray Eagle’s torture had sent her mind to dwel in another land, that mystical land of nothingness….
At the same time, Gray Eagle was alertly studying the expressions which came and went on both Alisha’s and the scout’s faces. He did not like the look of tenderness and love which she sent to the scout; those belonged to him alone. He inwardly flinched each time that she gazed up into Powchutu’s face with that warm look that he had known so wel. From what he could see, she appeared to be pleading with him. It could not be for help, for what could one man do against so many? Gray Eagle was very tense. Finaly, she looked out toward the warriors. She let her gaze Finaly, she looked out toward the warriors. She let her gaze slowly travel the lines of painted warriors and colorfuly arrayed chiefs. They seemed to spread out endlessly and threateningly upon the vast blue horizon.
Gray Eagle once more held her fate within his powerful hands. She suddenly realized that she felt more betrayed by her own emotions than by him or by her own people. He would make certain that there was never another escape or rescue for her. She knew that he would not have to worry, for she would never try either. She would submit herself to his control, for only in that way could she ever find any measure of peace. Hopefuly her love and desire for him would make such a decision easire to keep in the future.
She smiled at her friend, knowing that she would always love and remember him. He had done so much for her. It was doubtful that she would ever be given the opportunity to repay his kindness and help. In her heart she knew that she would lay down her very life for him if ever necessary. Noting the awesome sight before her, she thought of the people inside the fort. Each one had his own selfish reason for her being here now, facing only God knew what fate. Their hatred, jealousy, and fear were once again placing her at Gray Eagle’s mercy.
She reflected aloud, “Even during his worst hatred and cruelty, Powchutu, Gray Eagle never hurt me or abused me as my own people have done. The pain and shame that I felt in his camp would not compare with what I have known here at the fort. Then they cal themselves the civilized ones. They are far more savage than he ever was, or ever could be. No matter what he has done to me, or wil do to me in the future, I wil find the courage to do as he commands. I do not belong with the white man any longer. I can commands. I do not belong with the white man any longer. I can only hope to find some pl
ace with him and with his people. If my future is with him, then I must make the best of it.”
She trembled with fear. She dreaded the thought that Gray Eagle might not permit a truce between them. Yet, she could vividly recal the time when he had been pleased with her submission; she could just as easily recal how she had forced him to shame and to hurt her many times. She realized that she must bend her wil to his; she must put her pride in the right place. She knew so many things that she had not known when she first met him, things which could help her to understand him, his people, and herself. Poised between the two peoples, in the moment that sealed her fate, the first moment she met Gray Eagle flashed before her. He had drawn her to him with his powerful magnetism. In an inexplicable way, she had become emotionaly captivated by him that very first day. He had taken the punishment of her people with great dignity and courage. His hard, muscular physique had appeared indestructible. She would always remember that first impression of him. Even now, those memories brought a hunger for him to her.
Her eyes scanned the horizon once more, resting on Gray Eagle. He sat like a conqueror upon his majestic gray and white horse. He was indeed the height of power and masculinity. She could not help but notice his noble bearing and fierce pride. He was such an important man. A look of uncontrolable pride and pleasure crossed her face very briefly. It did not go unnoticed by him, even at that distance.
She realized anew that he had a way of making everyone and everything around him dim with his very presence. Their eyes met and fused. His seemed to bore into her very soul, reading al its and fused. His seemed to bore into her very soul, reading al its secrets. A tingling, warm sensation spread over her entire body. He had expected to read fear and hatred in her eyes. Instead, he read something very different, something which made his heart sing with joy.
So many thoughts raced through both their minds. He had never said that he loved her, but perhaps, Alisha thought, he had shown her many times. Had they both not enjoyed their close relationship? Had there not been countless times of happiness and relaxation between them? For certain, life with him seemed the only place for her.
She studied his handsome, stoic features for a time. How she wished she knew what went on inside his head and heart! He was the passion that ruled her body; he was her life and her future. He had made her a woman, his chosen woman. If she were not special to him, then why had he captured her and held her prisoner in his teepee, his first woman, and a white woman at that? Dare she imagine that he truly wanted her? He was a man of great pride and important rank. Surely total capitulation would have some good effect upon his view of her and his treatment in the future. If her future was with him, then she would make the very best of it. After al, she did love him. There was no need to worry about what her own people might say or think about her. They could not hate or scorn her any more than they already did. There was no one to consider now except Gray Eagle and herself. There was no turning back now. She must go to him completely and wilingly. Regardless of how he received her, her place was with him, just as her heart was now. It would be his decision as to what their relationship would be.
Her green eyes softened and warmed as they roamed over his Her green eyes softened and warmed as they roamed over his face and body. Her respiration quickened in response. Yes, she would try to win his heart and his trust. A light smile unconsciously played upon her soft pink lips as she made her final decision. Gray Eagle’s obsidian eyes locked with her forest green ones, seeming to inflame her from a distance. The tension and sadness quickly left his taut, powerful body. His prayers and dreams would surely be answered this very day. He could read it in her smouldering gaze and in her trusting smile.
Her love for him was clearly evident. This time, they would find the path to love and to acceptance. This time, she would know and understand the secrets of his heart as wel as those of her own. Like the pre-dawn, life passed too swiftly to live it in sadness and in sacrifice. She had been given to him by the Great Spirit to make his suns beautiful and meaningful. The Great Spirit would find some way for her to be accepted by his people. With her at his side, he could wait for that day. In time, it would not matter to anyone that she was white. She was not, and never had been, his enemy. He had already determined not to punish her any more for the deeds of her people.
His gaze never left hers as he thought, from this day forward, there wil be only a man and a woman in our teepee, only Lese and Wanmdi Hota. His heart drummed heavily in his broad chest as she headed toward him and toward their new future together.. ZEBRA BOOKS
are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
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New York, NY 10022
eISBN: 978-1-4201-2758-4
Copyright © 1981 by Janelle Taylor
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced inany form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
Nineteenth printing: March 1996
Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Four
Chapter Seven
Chapter Ten
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fifteen