Something Wicked #19 (March 2012)

by Something Wicked Authors

  That's with Tim Robbins, right?

  Yeah, directed by Phillip Noyce.

  And what was it like transitioning from a daily television show to a film set?

  It was like starting all over again. It was like walking onto a totally new environment but it felt good, it felt right. It felt like, "yeah man, this is what it's all been [about], all I've been through up until this point has been worth it because of this moment."

  And I kind of knew then that things were going to start happening. I didn't quite know how but I kind of knew that this was right.

  And there were some really good movies after that, and some really shit ones, you know. A lot of the times in this country we don't get paid for a movie. I think Hansie is a very, very good movie, I think it's a beautifully shot movie, but they didn't pay me for it. They paid me [a couple of days pay] and then they said to me, "No, no, we don't have any more money," and this was after the big theatre release and all this shit and I'm like "Whatever, dude."

  But I'm glad that I did it anyway, you know, it's the same with the Race-ist; I'm glad I experienced it. It's a crap movie, but they didn't pay us for it. But then you get the gems, you get the Night Drives and the District 9s, you get the Rancids, where they do pay you. It's not a lot of money but you're working with amazing people and you learn so much in that kind of environment when you’re around people who are backing you up 100% in whatever it is that you're doing.

  So I did like a movie a year, and in between I had to go and do other stuff like Barnyard [Theatre] stuff and corporate functions and this and that.

  But I really want to get involved in the film industry in our country. I've got a company called A Breed Apart Pictures now and it's time to take our stories to the rest of the world.

  I really believe we can. We've just got to somehow, I don't know, get finances behind it, people that believe in the industry and know that it's not going to happen overnight, and invest in it.

  I think it's more to do with the marketing than the financing, to be honest, because over the years we have become extremely good at shooting excellent product for very little money, but then that product just gets buried. No one watches it.

  Ja, ja, you're 100 percent right there, Joe, it's the marketing and distribution. We only have Ster-Kinekor and NuMetro and they rip the companies off because they take 60% off the tickets, just right off the top, and nobody is going to make money unless you are Leon Schuster and you've been offered 94 cinemas as opposed to a movie like Night Drive, which was only offered twelve.

  Yeah, I wanted to see it, I had seen the trailer, I knew it was coming and then it was gone already and I didn't even know it had been released. It just disappeared.

  But that's my point, again. A movie that didn't do really well in this country, is doing well overseas. Its opening weekend in China was unbelievable, you know.

  Well, it's a terrifying movie, I mean, just from the trailer. It is fucking terrifying.

  [laughs]You know that M-NET [SA Cable network] said no to it? "It's just not something we can show," and I'm like, "Are you kidding me?"

  Whatever, but it was a really good movie. That really made me fall in love with acting again, because I worked with a director who really pushed the limits and was more obsessed about the characters than the storyline, you know.

  Of course you worked with your old Isidingo partner, Chris Beasley.

  Yes, and he's amazing in the movie. He's wasted on Isidingo, and you can quote me on that.

  To be honest, I think most actors are wasted on Isidingo; you and I studied with most of them and we know they're all fucking phenomenal actors.

  Ja, but you know dude, it's lekker, you get caught up in it.

  Sure, it's a steady paycheque.

  I'm not gonna lie, dude, it was the most comfortable eight years of my life. It was a salary every month, it wasn't an amazing salary but believe me when you have a salary every month your problems become less. Suddenly banks take you seriously: "Can we have six months worth of statements?"

  "Yes, you can. Here are my payslips."

  [laughs]You know what? I have no idea what you're talking about. I have never had six months worth of payslips.

  [laughs] It's a relief, hey, it's an amazing feeling, but you get caught up in it. And that becomes your reason for [losing] any kind of momentum. Which for some people, I suppose, is cool, but people like us, who need to go and explore, and go and have an adventure in somebody else's life for a minute, it's not lekker, you know what I mean? It's what we do.

  Ja. Now, you were in District 9. Did you have any idea when you were shooting that film that it was going to be the most successful South African movie of all time?

  You know Joe, I've got a story for you, my broer. We had no idea what Neill [Blomkamp] was doing. I mean Neill had me running through Soweto dressed up in old South African Defence Force browns, with full gear on, chasing after a black dude, calling him the K-word, telling him I'm going to put a bullet through his head if he doesn't stop… I'm scheming, "My broer, why am I doing this in the middle of Soweto? Somewhere along the line someone is going to jump out and go, ‘Hey, you're on Candid Camera.’” But it wasn't.

  It was callback, after callback, after callback. I think it was about three or four callbacks and then I was up for one of the leads, for the part of Kobus.

  David James's part.

  Ja, and it came down to a decision between Peter Jackson and Neill, and because Peter Jackson had the final say he kind of went with David James, but in saying that, Neill came up to me afterwards and he said, "Look, do you still want to be in the movie?"

  And that's how I ended up being in the movie. Normally, you know what it's like, you audition you don't get the part and you never hear from them again. [laughs]

  So I had a small little part in District 9 and then at the after-party Neill put his arm around me and he said, "You know, don't worry about it (?)," because he's a dude, you know, he's not caught up in the whole la-dee-da-ness of movie making, he’s an oke, you know, and he says, "Dude, we'll make a movie together one day." And ja... I got the call, hey.

  He came through.

  He came through; he said to me he's got a part for me in Elysium, would I be interested?

  [laughs] I was like, "Ja, let me think about it..."

  Let me check my calendar.

  I had to send through an audition tape. They do things professionally, they had to go and show the producers, and I ended up working with... and I wish I had got to know him better in District 9, because he's actually an incredible actor but he's just a very complex person, is old Sharlto Copely. Because I didn't spend a lot of time with him on District 9, we had no scenes together.

  Ja, you're on opposite ends of the storyline.

  And in this movie we end up doing just about every scene that we have together. We end up playing these... um, you know, without giving away too much, we are a specialised unit that operates in the black-ops kind of regime and we are told to go and kill somebody for something.

  [laughs] Right. And of course you got to work with Matt Damon and Jodie Foster, and one of my absolute favourite frikken actors, William Fichtner.

  Ja dude, I didn't even get to see him, man. He did a lot of his scenes in Mexico City. I had one day with Jodie Foster and... dude, you must understand, I hate to box actors, but she's like one of my top five, you know what I mean?

  Ja. Didn't you play Bugsy Malone at some point?

  [laughs] Listen dude, don't even joke, you know what happened? [American accent] "Oh hey, how's it going, you're the guy playing Drake." And of all the things I could've said to her, I went, "Hey, I've loved your work ever since Bugsy Malone."

  [laughs] She was like, "Really, Bugsy Malone?" And I am like, "Just keep walking, just keep walking."

  I could've said to her, "Hey, the first show I ever did as an actor was Bugsy, and I played Bugsy," but no, I had already put both my feet in my mouth, so...

  [laughs] So you've g
ot a lot of fingers in a lot of pies, you're an actor, you're a singer, you're a producer. How do you manage to juggle your time across all these things?

  Um, it's called survival.

  [laughs] You know, it's amazing - I tell people, "I'm not a singer", I never have been, I've been able to kind of bullshit my way across all that. You know, at the end of the day I'm an actor. That's one thing I've never been able to lie about, and I wish I could spend more time acting, but I can't, because there's just not that opportunity, so I've had to 'act' as a singer and 'act' as a this and 'act' as a that to try and make sure that, should something come along, like Elysium, or Rancid, that I have that time available to myself that I can say, yes, you know. So that's why I do it. I keep myself busy for that one call, or for that one audition that we can go to and get that lekker part.

  And now, I'm a dad as well, she's going to be one-years-old next month. That's the real reason, bro - I was doing so much just to feed my own ego, but right now it's not about that, it's about making money and making sure my daughter never has to go through what I went through.

  You and I have the same background, I also started in musical theatre and all that, but I love the permanence of film. I love that my daughter, regardless of whatever happens to me, can see what I have done.

  Isn't that the best thing?

  Of course, the movies that you and I do, our kids won't be able to watch for another eighteen years. But it’s just that knowledge, and it's silly, but I feel like I have left my mark in the world for her.

  Your legacy.

  Ja, no matter how small it is, no matter how silly it is.

  Exactly what it is, broer.

  So, what's next for you? Anything lined up, other than a six-week tour?

  Right now I'm waiting to go on the publicity tour for Rancid, and then it's back to what I've been doing for the last three years, producing and trying to raise funds for scripts that I've been given. I've got two really, really good scripts that have been written by Justin Head and I want to produce them and I want to get them done in this country and I want take those films to the rest of the world. It's business time now; I've got to take the Brandon actor suit off and put on the Brandon corporate suit on and go and convince people that putting their money into this movie is a good idea.

  We wish you all the best for the future. Thanks a lot for talking to us, Brandon, and congratulations on everything.

  Thank you, and thanks for this opportunity. I wish you guys all the best as well.

  Joe Vaz is the founder and editor of Something Wicked, which occasionally affords him the honour and good fortune to hang out with really cool people.

  In his other life he is a film and television actor who gets small parts in big movies, most recently in Dredd 3D, due to be released in September 2012.

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  THE BOOK OF LOVE

  by Nick Scorza

  I must write this quickly. There is not much time before she overtakes me. I say ‘she’ because part of my crumbling mind still clings to the memory of my dear Catherine, but what pursues me is not of the fair sex, or any sex – it is old, and immeasurably foul.

  It is all because of the book, that accursed book I came across in my employ as a dealer in antiquities. I did not choose the profession, but rather awoke to find myself immersed in it – being something of an antiquity myself, even as a young man. I loved all old things, whether from the past century or the past millennium. I was mad for them, but books I prized above all else. Is there anything more wonderful than a book? It is a treasure trove – the wealth and wisdom of the dead preserved for the living as no hoary pharaoh could have hoped for. In books I sought the same commune with things greater than myself that others sought from the church. To me, any book was a bible.

  Alas, this love was not enough to sustain me.

  My family being of comfortable means, I pursued my education to the fullest extent, but sought the classics themselves, not the busy disciplines of law or medicine. I pursued books and objects first as a private collector. When I tired of something, I sold it, and found I could supplement an already sufficient income in this way, so as to afford even greater and rarer delights. For years this was my life, and my only social circle was a small cadre of like-minded men.

  My friend Mr. Charles Denton was to furnish the seed of my destruction, in a form fairer than any my imagination could supply. How strange that I, who had found joy only in the tomes of my ancestors, could be so bewitched by sweet Catherine Denton, the young sister of my dear friend. She was the opposite of all I had loved previously, a bright bundle of life, with joy radiating from her rosy pink face and intricate curls of auburn hair. This was the youth I had spurned in a life chasing treasures of the past, given form to tantalize me. When I met her, introduced in an offhand manner while Denton and I discussed matters relevant to our acute bibliomania, I suddenly realized the wasted weight of my years.

  I had read much of love in Petrarch and Ovid, Shakespeare and Donne. I had thought that storied ‘marriage of true minds’ was something I would never experience directly, save for the union of my mind with the texts of the past masters. Now it was before me and so full of life. I longed to join my soul to Catherine’s, and to share all that it is possible to share with another living thing!

  I called more frequently on Mr. Denton. It did not take my friend long to guess my intention, and he was not pleased. I could not understand where the man’s objections came from – I was his trusted friend, and in a position to provide his sister with an excellent life. My family name was not so distinguished as his, perhaps, but my income was a good deal larger. As for the disparity in age – I was older than Denton, and much older still than his sister – it was really not such an unusual thing, and an established husband could offer many things to a young woman that a mere youth could not.

  But Denton was fixed against the match, for reasons that were bewildering to me. Miss Catherine herself, in those few moments I could arrange to be alone with her, laughed coyly at my remarks and seemed mildly pleased by my attention, with a touch of the shyness with which nature has endowed her sex. Still, the very act of speaking to her threw my age, my faltering manner, my general unloveliness of form into sharp relief. Next to her, I felt like a withered scarecrow, my gnarled claws grasping toward a light and life I did not deserve. Still, I resolved that I would make my dream come true. I sought her father’s permission.

  The old man, who smelled faintly of brandy and the horse track, was all too happy to marry his daughter off to a gentleman of means. Catherine’s mother had died when Catherine was young, so there was one less person to convince. I made my case and her father accepted, resolving to inform Catherine forthwith. The very next day, I received young Denton, unexpected, at my apartments.

  “Whatley, I’ve come to ask you to abandon this foolish pursuit. My sister will bring you no happiness. She is delicate and unused to company…”

  I let Denton continue his little speech, though my blood boiled and I longed to throw him out on his ear. When he finished, I rose and mustered all of my dignity.

  “I assure you that my intentions toward Catherine are nothing but honorable. Who better to be with her than I, who am also unused to company and do not seek it out? She will not be required to be some society hostess – you know I have no taste for that. For God’s sake, Denton, why aren’t you happy for us?”

  “My father gave her the news yesterday evening, and she wept. She wept, Whatley, at the thought of marriage! I love my sister, but in some ways she is a pitiable creature. I think sometimes she is not meant for any man.”

  “I will hear no more of this! I love her, and the matter is decided. You have no say in it. I must thank you not to call again.”

  I immediately formed the worst sort of depraved suspicions about Denton’s feelings for his sister, and I resolved to watch them both closely for evidence of any wrongdoing. I was troubled by the idea of Catherine weeping at our engagement, but
I felt it was most likely the usual youthful anxieties, and tried to put it out of my mind.

  That was when the book entered my life. A dealer I trusted, despite certain dubious connections, offered it to me from his latest batch of acquisitions. He swore he’d had the book from an Arab trader who’d claimed to have had it from the lost library of the Moorish Caliphs of Cordova – but the book was even older than this, he said. The Arab claimed the book first rose, phoenix-like, from the ashes of the great Alexandrine Library, that lost Mecca of bibliophiles. It was nonsense of course. The book was in poor condition, and no older than the Renaissance – a battered, leather-bound quarto with tarnished silver brackets. It consisted of three disparate manuscripts bound into one, as was common in that time, and all given the vague title Liber Amoris, or Book of Love.