by Lesley Crewe
Libby felt lightheaded and it threw her for a loop, but she knew exactly why that was. This was desire. She’d never felt it before, but she knew from romance books that this is what happened when you fell in love.
She couldn’t stay in the bathroom all afternoon, but she was almost afraid to go back out. What if she was mistaken? What if he ignored her? How on earth would she get through life without this boy she’d never even met?
He was skating when she reappeared. She decided the best course of action was to ignore him and pretend to have a good time. Stepping onto the ice, Marilyn skated past her and gestured for her to join her, but she couldn’t keep up. She wasn’t a very good skater.
A group of her girlfriends came by and one of them grabbed her hand. “Hang on!” Libby found herself at the end of a line that was going to whip around and then let go. She let out a yelp and tried to stay on her skates. She went faster and faster and knew she was going to fall. They released her and she sailed into the boards—or would have if that good-looking boy hadn’t stopped her first.
He put his arms around her and lifted her off her feet, going around and around before he stopped.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded.
He grabbed her hand. “Come on.”
He took off and pulled her around the ice. He was going too fast for her to skate, so she kept a tight hold on his arm. She felt as if she were flying—through the rink and out beyond the stars. She never wanted it to end.
When he finally slowed down, he took both her hands and started to skate backwards.
“What’s your name, little skater?”
“Libby,” she laughed.
“Libby.”
When he said her name she felt a tingle go through her body. She was aware of Marilyn going by with a big smile on her face, giving her a thumb’s up.
He finally said, “Don’t you want to know mine?”
“Yes, please.”
He laughed out loud. “It’s Seamus.”
“I like it.”
“I want you to love it.”
She smiled at him. “Okay then, I love it.”
He pulled her to him and kept her hands in his. “And I love yours. So I’ll make you a promise, little skater. Tonight, when I’m alone in my room, I’m going to whisper your name before I go to sleep and I’ll keep doing it until the day I can whisper it in your ear.”
No one had ever talked to her like that before. She stood with her mouth open and tried to think of something wonderful to say too, but she couldn’t think. She was aware only of his warm hands.
He gave her the sweetest smile. “Do you want to go round again?”
She suddenly found her voice. “No. I want to kiss you.” And she reached up and put her arms around his neck. Her mouth found his and she tasted his Juicy Fruit gum.
“Libby, I love you.”
She was suffocating. He held her by the door and over the desk and in the stairwell. She wanted to run but she couldn’t and now there was rain pounding against the roof. It was dark and she was frightened, so very, very frightened. The rain got louder and louder and suddenly lightning flashed and in that split second, she saw him.
She screamed.
She screamed when Lola crashed through the door into her room, brandishing a shoe.
“I’ve got a gun,” she yelled. “Where is he?”
Ava sat straight up in bed and then realized she had nothing on. She gathered the sheet in front of her. “My god, who’s here?”
“You tell me. The way you were yelling, I thought you were being ravished!”
She ran her fingers through her knotted hair. “You scared me half to death.”
Lola threw the shoe away and plunked herself on the bed. “You were screaming like a banshee, so what was I supposed to do? Did you have a nightmare?”
“I guess I must have. I don’t remember.”
Lola yawned. “Well, you can just bet some little chamber maid will say you had an orgy in here and it will be front page news by tonight.”
“Naturally. Pass me that bathrobe, would you?”
Lola stretched over the bed and grabbed it off the floor. Ava put it on and then lay across the bed on her side, holding her head in her hand. “Sorry about last night.”
“No biggy,” Lola shrugged. “You had a pretty emotional day.”
“I never realized it would be so hard. I thought family reunions were happy occasions.”
“I’m sure they are, but they are also a cesspool of memories, good and bad.” Lola got off the bed and went to the window. “Looks like a nice day out there.”
“Are you sure you want to stay with me? Wouldn’t you rather be on Rodeo Drive buying some fabulous outfit?”
Lola jumped back on the bed. “Hell no, this is fun. I love your family. What a bunch of characters.”
“But to stay there…”
“You say that like it was some flea-bitten motel. I’m dying to eat Aunt Vi’s cooking. What a treat.”
“I suppose so,” Ava sighed. “I’ve got to stop being selfish and do my share. I’m sure Aunt Vi could use the break from running up and down stairs all day.”
Lola patted her arm. “Today will be better. I think it was nerves yesterday. Let’s face it; it must have been hard to see your mom.”
“You have no idea. I felt so guilty!”
“Guilt is stupid. I hate guilt. I’ve decided to declare myself a guilt-free zone. Who’s with me?”
Ava jumped up and hugged her friend. “That’s why I love you. No one can be sad around you.”
They ordered room service and ate way too much, then showered, dressed, and made arrangements to rent a car. One could hardly sneak around town in a limo. They packed their bags and were on their way by noon.
Ava felt decidedly better after coming to the conclusion that if she had to be here, she might as well enjoy herself. She’d missed enough time with her family already.
But first things first. Lola wanted to pick up something for Aunt Vi. “I could buy dinner rolls.”
“She’ll have made them already.”
“How do you know?”
“I know.”
“But she has your mom to look after too.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Okay then,” Lola sighed. “What do you suggest?”
“Well, you can’t buy baking, because as you know it will be a pale imitation of hers. You can’t buy pickles or chow because she’ll have tons of it in the pantry. You can’t buy jams or jellies.”
“Okay then, how about wine?”
“They don’t drink wine.”
“They don’t drink?”
“I didn’t say that. Uncle Angus likes a drink of rum and Aunt Vi loves beer.”
“All right. Let’s load them up with some booze.”
“Okay.”
Off they went to the liquor store. Ava put on her sunglasses and tucked her hair up in a scarf. When they got in there, they bought enough liquor to keep the family going for months. The old fella in the line-up behind them shook his head. “How ya go about gettin’ an invite to this here party?”
“I’ll have my people call your people,” Lola said.
“Huh?”
Ava told her to behave. They had a young clerk help them to the car with their purchases. Ava handed him a twenty-dollar tip.
He looked at it for a moment. “You made a mistake.”
“No mistake. Thank you.”
“Thanks!” He walked away with a big smile on his face.
“No one would ever question a tip in L.A., no matter how big it was,” Lola smirked.
“People are honest here.”
“Amazing. It’s like another world.”
“I know. I’d forgotten that.”
They enjoyed their ride to Aunt Vi’s. Lola couldn’t get over the cars stopping for pedestrians or letting other cars in ahead of them. “I’m in a time warp,” she declared.
Just then a funeral proc
ession came towards them from down the street. Ava pulled off the road with the other cars. Two men out for a walk stopped and took off their ball caps until the hearse and the family cars went by.
Lola’s mouth dropped open. She was speechless.
Ava smiled at her. “Welcome to civilization.”
Aunt Vi’s roast chicken dinner was one for the books, in Lola’s opinion. Once it was over Ava was sent upstairs to give her mother a cup of tea. The rest of them stayed downstairs and helped with the dishes.
Ava propped her mom up a little and put the china teacup to her lips. “It’s hot, be careful.”
Mamie nodded and took a sip, then laid her head back onto the pillow. “Nothing like a cup of tea. Your father always loved a good cuppa.”
Ava smiled at the memory. “I remember he used to let me put in the sugar.”
“Did he? I’d forgotten.”
Ava sat a little further in on the bed and hugged her knees. “How did you and Daddy meet?”
“Oh goodness, it’s so long ago now. He was my older brother’s friend. He used to hang around our house all the time. I remember I always liked him, until the day he threw a snowball at me.”
“He must have liked you a lot,” Ava laughed.
“I was mad. I flew off home and wouldn’t speak to him for days.”
“You old meanie.”
“You’re darn right. Don’t ever let a man think he’s got ya for good. Always keep him guessing. Do you have a man?”
Ava shook her head. “No, no one special.”
“Good lord, child, you’re twenty-eight. You better get moving. I had five children by the time I was your age. Don’t you want babies?”
Ava shrugged. “I never really thought about it. I’ve been so busy.” “Well, one day you won’t be and you’ll look around and wonder what it was all for.”
Ava didn’t answer, just picked at her thumbnail instead. She knew her mother was looking at her and it was unnerving, as if she was transparent and her mother was privy to everything under her skin. Ava turned the tables on her.
“Did you like being a mother?”
“Of course I did,” her mother frowned. “Why?”
“No reason.” Ava continued to pick at her fingers.
“Are you happy in Hollywood? Is that the lifestyle you want?”
“It’s okay. I know it’s artificial.”
“What happens when you get wrinkles and your bosom sags?”
“Ma!”
“Well, you have to think of these things. It seems to me they only want them young and pretty, and then it’s out with the trash.”
“I have a few years left before that happens.”
“It happens in the blink of an eye, my girl.”
Ava’s cell phone rang. “Oh, sorry Ma.” She got off the bed and held the small device to her ear. “Hello?”
“Who’s the sexiest girl in the world, then?”
She smiled. “Hayden.”
“Is that all I get? No, ‘Gosh I miss your body Hayden’ or ‘Come right now and do me, please, Hayden, please.’”
She turned away from her mother and covered her mouth with her hand. “Stop it.”
“Oh, I can’t stop. I don’t wanna stop. Don’t stop Hayden, don’t stop!”
“I’m going to kill you,” she whispered.
“Not before I take you to bed, sugar lump.”
In spite of herself, Ava wanted him to go on. It was a silly game, but it cheered her up.
“I’d like that.”
“You would? How about that? Usually I have to beg. So when are you and your delicious body coming home?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Oh come on, sexy baby, you can’t leave me like this. I may have to call room service and have them send someone up.”
“Well, I’m not coming tonight, so I guess you’d better.”
“No, you’re not, are you?”
Ava turned around. “Excuse me, Ma. I’ll be right back.” She closed the bedroom door behind her and stood in the hallway. “You can’t talk like that in front of my mother.”
“I’m not talking to your mother. I’m breathing in your ear, sexy girl. But I have a good idea. Why don’t you call me when you go to bed and we can have a nice little private session?”
“I’m sleeping with Lola tonight.”
“You are? I always wondered about you two.”
“Stop it, you nut. We’re sleeping in the same room because we’re staying at my old house.”
“Do you have three-way calling?”
“Hayden, you are completely immoral.”
“I know. Isn’t it fun? Well, if you’re going to be a party pooper, maybe I can fly in, shag you, and go home. How does that sound?”
“Good, actually,” Ava sighed.
“Done.”
“Sorry, I can’t. You know that.”
“I’ll sneak in. No one will know.”
She laughed out loud. “No one will know? The hottest star in television? Believe it or not, babe, they do watch TV up here.”
“I’ll wear a fake nose and mustache. Come on Ava, I’m dyin’ here. You’ve been gone for two days.”
“My mother…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Your mother’s dying. Well, tell her to hurry up…I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“You stupid bastard.”
“Come on Ava, I was joking.”
“It’s not funny.”
“I know.”
“Goodbye Hayden.”
“Don’t hang up! I need you.”
Ava fired the phone down the stairs, marched into the bathroom and promptly threw up. Then she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and went back to her mother, who was asleep. She sat on the edge of the bed and held her hand until Rose peeked in and said they were leaving, so she got up and said goodbye to her siblings. After telling her aunt and uncle that she was really tired, she kissed them and went upstairs to bed. Lola said she’d be up in a minute.
Ava rooted through her suitcase to get her nightie. The first one she picked up was one Hayden bought for her. She went to the window and threw it out into the night. The rest of them all looked too flimsy, too see-through or too short, so out they went as well. She opened the closet and found an old, soft, worn flannelette nightgown. She threw it over her head and crawled into the creaky twin bed. Lying there, listening to Lola and her aunt and uncle downstairs, was like being a kid again. Suddenly she wasn’t tired anymore.
Ava popped out of bed and snuck over to the door, tiptoeing down the hall to peer into the hall grate, where she saw Uncle Angus’s bald head rocking back and forth. She wondered if she could get downstairs without making the stairs creak, like she used to. Taking her time, she gingerly stepped on various spots down the stair treads and was amused that she remembered exactly where to place her toes. She was so busy congratulating herself that she didn’t hear the others say they should hit the hay. They almost caught her as they came through the kitchen.
Lola found her with the blankets up to her nose. She tossed the cell phone on the bed. “You dropped something. From a great height, I might add.”
Ava kicked it off the bed with her foot. “I hate it.”
Lola rummaged through her suitcase. “What did that poor old phone ever do to you?”
“Hayden was on the other end of it.”
“Ah, the boy wonder. How is the spoiled brat?”
Ava turned over on her side. “He wants my mother to hurry up and die so I can go home and screw him.”
Lola stopped in mid-search and turned to face her. “Tell me you’re kidding.”
Ava shook her head.
“Shall I hire a hit man?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll get right on it.” She went back to her rooting. “I wish I’d brought more practical clothes. I feel like a bit of a freak.”
Ava pointed to her nightgown. “See. I found this in the closet. I love flannelette. Why did I ever st
op wearing it?”
“Because your image would suffer, my dear.”
“Who cares?”
“Your accountant, your lawyer, your studio, your staff…”
“Bullocks.”
There was a knock on the door and Aunt Vi poked her head in. “You girls have everything you need?”
“You don’t have another nightgown like Ava is wearing, do you?” “That old rag! My drawers are full of them. I’ll go get you one.” She disappeared and in a flash was back with three suitable choices. “This here one is the smallest I’ve got. You’ll swim in it.” She passed it to Lola.
“I love it, it’s perfect.” Lola gathered her bag of toiletries, took the nightgown and headed for the bathroom. Aunt Vi sat on the end of Ava’s bed.
“Are you all right, my love? You look pale. I’m afraid this is going to be too much for you. You never were a strong girl.”
Ava got up and sat cross-legged on the bed. “I’m fine. You worry too much.”
“It’s a hard, hard thing, to lose your mother. A once in a lifetime event. Doesn’t matter how close you are, or how much time you’ve spent together, it’s the end of a connection that will never be replaced.”
Ava swallowed hard. “What was my grandmother like?”
Aunt Vi picked at her bathrobe sash. “She was a stern woman, a very hard worker. She had your Ma and me well trained by the time we were married.”
“Was she fun?”
“Fun? No. Mothers were teachers in my day. They weren’t your best friend, like they are today.”
“Didn’t you ever wish she could be your best friend?”
“No, not really. I had your Ma and she was enough.”
“You’re going to miss her,” Ava whispered. “Probably more than I will.”
Aunt Vi reached for a tissue in her pocket and wiped the end of her nose. “Yes, I daresay that’s true. I was always closer to her than my older brother. You know how sisters are. You’re lucky to have three of them.”
“I don’t know them very well.”
“That can change, honey. You don’t always have to be the outsider. You can let them in anytime you choose.”
Ava nodded and looked up at Lola, who stood in the doorway. “Ta da!” Lola twirled around to show off her faded pink flowered nightgown. “This is so comfortable. I wonder if we can get Vera Wang to start selling these things. She’d make a fortune.”