by Lesley Crewe
As Lola went through security, Ava went over to the same window her own relatives had stood in front of the night she arrived. With only one gate at Sydney Airport, she was able to watch Lola walk to the small jet that sat on the runway. Lola went up the steps and turned around to give Ava one last wave, then ducked her head and disappeared.
It was as if the sun had gone behind a cloud.
Lola called later that night to tell them that she arrived safely and her mother felt much better now that her own little family was together again. She promised to call often and keep them up to date on her progress.
When Ava turned in that night, she felt sorry for herself. The bed next to her was empty and she was lonely. Without Lola to distract her, she was aware of how alone she was. She was desperate enough to place a call to Hayden. A woman answered his cell.
“Is Hayden there, please?”
“He’s around somewhere. I think he may be in the shower. Can he call you back?”
Rattled, Ava dithered for a moment before the voice said, “Oh never mind. Here he is. Sweetie, it’s for you.”
“Yes?”
“Hayden.”
“Babe! How are you?”
“Not as good as you.”
“Why Ava, I didn’t know you were the jealous type.”
“I’m not.”
“Doesn’t sound like it.”
“Never mind, you’re busy.”
“I was busy. Not anymore.”
“You’ve already screwed her then.”
“Don’t be nasty.”
“Sorry.”
“Listen, babe, we both agreed we’re free agents when we’re away from each other.”
“Did I actually agree to that?”
“Yes, you did.”
“I was nuts.”
“I thought it was quite clever of you.”
“You would,” she laughed.
“What can I do, Ava?” he sighed. “They throw themselves at me all day long. A man can only resist so long.”
“Fine. Go enjoy yourself.”
“Don’t be mad at me. I remember a night not long ago when I made you very happy for a quite long time. And I promise you, I don’t do that for everyone.”
She didn’t say anything.
“I’m right. Say it.”
“You’re right.”
“You loved it. Couldn’t get enough of it, you sexy thing. Actually, that’s what turns me on the most.”
She lay back in bed. “What?”
“How you have this little miss innocent demeanor, but you’re a very accomplished lover. Always willing to be just slightly naughty. God, thinking of it now, I’m getting myself quite worked up.”
“Are you?”
“Mmm. What are you wearing?”
She looked at her ratty old nightgown and lied. “Nothing.”
“Good. Just the way I like you. You do have the most gorgeous body. You are aware of that fact, I hope.”
“It’s not getting much attention, I’m afraid.”
“If I was there, I’d be giving it a great deal of attention. Especially my favourite spots.”
“And those are?”
“Well, besides the heavenly obvious ones, that little mole on your bottom right-hand rib has a way of making me dizzy with desire.”
She covered her eyes with her arm. “Oh god, you have no idea how
lonely I am.”
“I don’t want you to be lonely. Why don’t you come home? I’ll make you feel better in no time.”
Her heart sank at the prospect of heading back to Los Angeles. “I’ll be there soon enough. Don’t mind me, I’m fine.” She changed the subject. “So what’s new with you?”
He droned on about himself, as she knew he would. Finally she said she had to go.
“Sweet dreams…of me,” Hayden laughed.
“Good night, Hayden.”
She hung up the phone and curled into a little ball.
It felt different being in the house without a friend or her mother. Aunt Vi and Uncle Angus were slowly getting their lives back and they had their own friends, who dropped by to help or take them somewhere. It was as if the early summer had been a lovely dream with Lola and Maurice and Harold and then, suddenly, it was back to real life.
Her sisters and brothers had their families and some of them were away on vacation or busy with soccer practice and baseball games. Mothers with children to entertain and keep out of trouble were on double duty in the summer when their kids were out of school. They called often and invited her along and she did go on some outings, but the day she went to see her nephew play baseball, the women in the bleachers all wanted her autograph and created a bit of a fuss. She saw her nephew gesture to his mom as if to say, is she here to see me or be a star? She told Bev she had a headache and had to go. Bev almost looked relieved.
After a few days of wandering around like a lost soul, she thought she’d go to the beach by herself. She packed her own lunch and headed out for Kennington Cove, but when she drove by Mira Gut, she was surprised to see the beach not as crowded as usual, so she decided she might as well take advantage of it.
It was a nice day, but not a scorcher. The tide was very low. Ava was content to take her blanket and umbrella and sit in the sand. She had a good book with her and spent a nice couple of hours reading, then ate an apple and got a little drowsy. She wasn’t sure how long she was dozing when she felt a cold little finger poke her. Ava lifted her head and saw a small black shadow against the sun. She shielded her eyes from the glare and gradually a little girl came into focus. She was trying to give her something.
“Hello.”
“Ell.” She opened her fist and held out a sandy seashell.
“For me?”
“Yeah.”
Ava took it. “Thank you. It’s very pretty.”
Then she heard a man call out, “Sarah?”
“Yeah?”
He ran over. “There you are. You scared me to death.” He took his daughter’s hand. “I’m sorry. She likes…”
Ava sat up. “…to give people things.”
He took a step back. “Libby.”
“Seamus.”
He looked like he was having trouble finding something to say, so she helped him. “She’s beautiful, especially in that bathing suit.”
Seamus smiled. “Yes, she loves it.”
She had a hard time taking her eyes off his body. It was a man’s body. Someone she didn’t know. She noticed he never took his eyes off hers.
“Do you come to this beach often?”
“Yes, at low tide. It makes it easier for me to watch them.” He looked a little sheepish. “Although I wasn’t doing a very good job a minute ago.” As if he suddenly remembered he had another child, he turned around quickly and called Jack’s name. Jack waved. He was digging a big hole and was quite content.
“Are you here by yourself?” he asked her.
“Yes, my friend Lola had to go home, a family emergency.”
“That’s too bad.”
“I miss her.”
“I’m sure you do. How are you feeling? Better?”
“Yes. I’m much better.”
Sarah wiggled out of his grasp and ran back to her brother. Without her there, it felt awkward, as if a barrier had been removed and now there was nothing between them. It felt dangerous. Ava closed her eyes and sighed. “I’m tired of this. It’s ridiculous. Why do we feel as if we’re doing something wrong, just standing here?”
“I’m not sure.”
“We’re old friends. Why can’t we be again?”
“I was told in no uncertain terms to stay away from you.”
“By who?”
“Your sister.”
“Let me guess…Rose?”
He nodded. “Although Colleen isn’t crazy about the idea either.”
She shook her head. “It’s such a waste, Seamus. I’ve wasted enough time. Losing my mother has made everything else seem trivial and petty
.”
“You’re right. Would you like a sandy peanut butter sandwich?”
“Yes, I would,” she laughed.
They spent the afternoon together not talking about anything important, just listening to the kids prattle on about silly things. They made a sand castle with them and Ava went up into the grass and found some daisies. She showed Sarah how to make a daisy chain and put a little crown of flowers on her mess of curls. Sarah walked around with her tummy sticking out, trying hard to keep it on her head. Her father laughed and laughed when he watched her. Ava felt good that she’d made him happy.
The sun was going down and the wind became still, the most beautiful time of day on the beach. Both the children were asleep on their towels and Ava knew they should go, but it was hard to part. It had been a lovely day.
“I’ve enjoyed this,” he said to her. “You have no idea.”
“Me too.”
“It must seem a little boring for you. I know you jet-set all over the world. I saw you at the Cannes Film Festival on TV once, and you were so glamorous, with all these beautiful people around you.”
“I always sound as if I don’t appreciate the opportunities given to me, but a day posing for the cameras in a faraway exotic place doesn’t hold a candle to a day like today.” She looked out over the water. “That day, I’d flown in from L.A. I was hot and tired and cranky. The only reason I wasn’t completely nuts is because Maurice can fix my hair and makeup while I sleep in a chair. Harold picked my outfit and they dressed me like a mannequin. I couldn’t eat anything or the dress wouldn’t fit. I was paraded around on this dock with other celebrities, most of whom I didn’t know. You kiss them and pretend you do. You smile as thousands of cameras flash at you and all you can hear is your name shouted from four hundred different directions and you’re not sure where to look.”
“Sounds delightful.”
“Since I don’t drink like a fish or smoke or do drugs, I’m not much fun at a party, so I usually skip those to play monopoly with Lola and Maurice and Harold.”
He smiled.
“Then on my way down to breakfast the next morning, I found myself in an elevator with a very famous actor who pushed the stop button. He thought he’d feel me up and expected me to be grateful for the opportunity.”
“Are you serious? What did you do?”
“I kneed him in the nuts, pushed the button, and continued down to breakfast.”
“Atta girl,” he laughed.
She gave a great sigh. “I’ve missed this island. I’ve missed it with every fibre of my being. The land, the water, the sky, all of it. Whenever I get lonely in some strange part of the world, I picture it in my mind and feel better.”
“Do you get lonely, Libby?”
She looked at him. “Very.”
“Me too.”
He reached out and held her hand. They sat like that for a long time. Eventually she said, “We better go. You don’t want the kids to get a chill.”
Ava helped him carry them up to the car. She took Sarah’s sweet little body and held it close. Sarah nestled into her neck. As she waited for Seamus to put Jack in his car seat, she swayed slightly back and forth with Sarah in her arms. She closed her eyes and kissed those messy curls.
When Ava opened her eyes, Seamus was watching her hold his daughter.
“Sorry, I just wanted to hold her for a minute.”
“You’re beautiful, Libby.”
She closed her eyes again. She couldn’t look at him. “Take her.”
He lifted Sarah out of her arms. She turned around and went back to the beach to collect their things, but it was really to keep him from looking at her anymore. Picking up their belongings gave her a moment to gather her wits. She crossed the beach and walked back to his car, quickly passing over the children’s toys. “I think I have everything.”
“Thank you for today,” he said.
“You’re welcome. Thank you for sharing your children with me. They’re delightful company.”
“As are you.”
“Goodbye Seamus.” She turned to go.
“Libby.”
She looked back.
“Can you meet me here tomorrow?”
She nodded and ran to her car.
He was on vacation that week and the next, so they spent every day at the beach. She’d often bring Teddy Bear too—the kids loved him. It was as if they needed the kids and the dog there, so they wouldn’t be tempted to repeat what happened the last time they were alone. And Ava was grateful for it, because as much as they liked to think they knew each other; they had a lot to catch up on. Their days were filled with stories of friends and adventures they’d had.
One rainy day, they decided to be bold and go to town. The kids wanted ice cream so they headed for the Tasty Treat. They sat in the car and ate their waffle cones. Sarah was completely covered in sticky ice cream by the time she was through. Ava said she’d take her into the bathroom and tidy her up. She and Sarah ran through the rain to get the key for the outdoor facilities but they told her it was in use so they waited outside under the overhang. Seamus waved her to come back, but she shook her head. She and Sarah were having fun jumping in the puddles.
The door to the bathroom opened and out walked Colleen and Courtney. Sarah gave a delighted shout to her cousin. “Cory!”
Colleen looked at Ava and then at Sarah and then over her head to search for Seamus’s car.
“Hello, Colleen.”
“What are you doing with Sarah?”
“I’m cleaning her up.”
“Is Seamus here?”
“Of course he’s here. Do you think I kidnapped his daughter?”
She didn’t say anything.
“May I have the key?”
Colleen passed it to her.
“We’re having ice cream, Colleen.”
“Yes.”
They both saw Seamus start to get out of the car. “Wave to him and let him be. Please, I beg you.”
Colleen waved, then grabbed Courtney’s hand and ran to the other side of the building, where her car was parked. Ava gave him a smile and a quick wave and took Sarah into the bathroom. When they were finished, they hurried back in the car.
“What did she say to you?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“She asked what we were doing here and I said we were having ice cream and she said, have fun.”
“She did?”
“Yeah.”
“That was nice.” Seamus smiled.
“Yes, it was.”
They bought a pizza and took it back to his place. They ate it while they played Go Fish with the kids. Jack got fed up with Sarah always saying “yeah,” when she didn’t have anything, so he went off in a huff. He came back when they bribed him with a video. When both kids fell asleep on the couch halfway though the movie, Ava decided she’d better be going. Seamus got up with her and walked her to the door. She hurried out on the deck.
“It’s been a nice day,” he said.
“It’s been a lot of nice days. I’ve had such fun.”
He looked at her. “May I kiss you?”
She looked away.
“I promise I won’t get carried away like the last time.”
She smiled. “Oh my, if it’s going to be a boring, chaste kiss then I suppose I can risk it.”
He reached out and took her hand, pulling her close, raising her chin with the crook of his finger. He touched her lips softly with his own and then looked at her. “More?”
“A little more.”
He bent his head and parted his lips. She reached up and did the same. It was a nice, slow, deep kiss, as if they had all the time in the world.
And then Jack woke up. They heard him through the open window. “Daddy! I have a tummy ache.”
Seamus groaned and took her face in his hands. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“Will you come to me soon?”
She hesitated.
“We don’t have to do anything but this. Please let me do this.”
She nodded. He kissed her once more.
“Daddy!”
He dropped his hands and walked back in the house. Ava had to hold on to the railing to get down the stairs. Her heart pounded in her chest. She got in the car and laid her head back on the headrest. “Oh god, what am I going to do?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Seamus was happier than he’d been in a long time. He whistled everywhere he went. Unfortunately his vacation was up and he couldn’t spend every day with her anymore—but it didn’t matter. He had enough memories of their two weeks together to keep him going for a while.
He was so shocked to see her on the beach that day he couldn’t remember what he said at first. All he knew was that he couldn’t stop looking at her. When she sat beside him and shared their sandwiches, his eyes lingered over her collarbones. She had beautiful shoulders and the small hollow in front of her neck was vulnerable and delicate. He was dying to put his mouth on it and kiss his way up under her chin.
It took a lot of concentration not to spend the entire time fantasizing about the feel of her body under him. He had to shake his head sometimes and ask her to repeat what she said. She laughed at him, as if she knew what the trouble was. But the moment that got to him the most was when she held Sarah in her arms and rocked her gently back and forth. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against Sarah’s curls and it seemed right. It was perfect. He never wanted it to end.
Their last night together before he went back to work, they took the kids to the drive-in. The kids loved it. Excited about being allowed out of their car seats, they stayed awake for almost two movies. They ate too much and bounced from the front to the back seat, until that novelty wore off. Finally, they curled up in awkward positions in the back seat and slept like babies.
“I suppose we should go,” Ava said.
“Not yet. It’s our last night together.”
“I’m not going tomorrow.”
“I mean my vacation’s over.”
“Oh.”
He hated to be reminded of her leaving. “When are you going again?”
“In about a week.”
“You have to go, I guess.”
“Yes,” she sighed. “I signed a contract.”
“Break it.”