Hero in Disguise

by Wilkins, Gina

  “I want you, too, Derek,” she whispered, knowing it wasn’t necessary to tell him with words when her body had already shown him how much she wanted him.

  “Ah, Summer. Sweetheart. Make love with me. Stay with me tonight.”

  “B-but…” she stammered, knowing there was some reason she should refuse. “The caterers!” she exclaimed. No, she thought dazedly. That wasn’t it.

  “The caterers left a long time ago, Summer-love,” he told her tenderly. “There’s no one here but us. Come, darling.” His arm curled gently around her, lifting her from the sofa to support her at his side.

  The movement seemed to bring her out of her stupor. Going stiff in Derek’s arms, Summer closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This wasn’t going to work, she told herself regretfully. As much as she would like to have Derek carry her into his bedroom, she just couldn’t do it. It simply wasn’t in her nature to make love with a man only because it felt good at the time, with no chance of a future involved. Perhaps Derek had chosen to ignore their differences for now, but Summer could not. His wanting her didn’t change the fact that he considered her a flighty party-girl, that he disapproved of her.

  She refused to set herself up for heartbreak again. This time the wounds might never heal.

  “I’m sorry, Derek, I can’t,” she said finally when she felt that her voice was under control.

  He stiffened in resistance to her words. “What? What do you mean, you can’t?”

  Pulling away from his arms, Summer took a few steps away from him, her limp seeming more pronounced than usual, and turned to face him. “Maybe I phrased that wrong. I should have said I won’t,” she clarified. “I told you last weekend, Derek, I’m not in the market for an affair.”

  Taut with frustration, Derek shoved one hand in his pocket and the other through his hair. “Dammit, Summer, you said you wanted me.”

  She laced her fingers tightly in front of her. “I’ll admit that I’m very attracted to you, Derek. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with you. I’m not.”

  “We’re good together, Summer. Admit it.”

  “No. We’re too different.”

  “I don’t think that we are,” Derek countered, some of the tension beginning to leave his body. He had begun to recognize the fear behind the bravado in her eyes. “We have a lot in common, Summer. Similar tastes in many things. We’ve never had trouble talking. I like you, and I’ve enjoyed spending time with you.”

  He liked her. Why should those words hurt? Summer lifted her chin. “But you don’t approve of me.”

  He hesitated. “I’m not crazy about some of your attitudes about things that I think are important, but I don’t disapprove of you. I’m beginning to understand you. I suspect that there’s a lot more to you than you allow the world to see, and underneath your glib facade is a complex, fascinating person. Look how well you fit in with the people who attended my party tonight. You looked perfectly at ease in a social situation that is hardly the type you’re accustomed to.”

  She found that statement rather patronizing, and her narrowed eyes told him so. Derek seemed to be deluding himself that he could mold her into the type of woman he wanted Connie to be. How dare he think that Summer needed changing? Did he have some sort of compulsion to change people? And just how the hell did he plan to repair Summer’s leg so that she could be as perfect as he probably wanted her to be? Some tiny inner voice told her that she was being unfair in her anger, but only through anger could she resist the hunger she still saw in his lambent gaze.

  “I really don’t think we need to discuss this any further, Derek,” she told him coolly. “I like you, you’re a nice guy, and I hope you and Connie manage to patch up your relationship. Sorry, but I’m not interested in anything else.”

  By all rights he should have been angry. Instead, he was incredibly gentle when he cupped her face in his hand. “Summer, I’m not going to try to force you to make love with me if you’re not ready. That’s not the way I want it to be between us. But don’t try to tell me you’re not interested.”

  She trembled at his touch, wanting nothing more than to throw herself into his arms. Why was he being so damned understanding? Why wasn’t he snarling at her, shouting at her, anything to help her resist him? Surely he could only be contemplating an affair. He would amuse himself with her for a while, then go off in search of a woman more like himself. And Summer would be devastated.

  He’d certainly never mentioned any permanent relationship with Summer. Only that he liked her and he wanted to sleep with her. Not that she should expect anything more from him after only a week, she told herself candidly. But still, the thought of making herself so vulnerable to Derek terrified her. The intensity of her feelings for him frightened her.

  She’d known so much pain.

  “I’m not going to bed with you, Derek,” she told him bravely. “Not tonight and not ever.”

  He dropped a kiss on her nose, startling her into a gasp, then stepped away from her. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Summer-love,” he advised her with a note of humor in his gentle, deep voice. “Now get your purse and I’ll take you home. For now.” He crossed his arms over his chest in a gesture that seemed to imply the debate had ended and he considered himself the victor.

  Well, he’s not, Summer told herself, straightening her clothes as she stalked away with as much dignity as her faltering walk would allow. It’s time someone teaches that man that he can’t have everything his way, she muttered silently. And that someone is going to be me!

  The drive across the Golden Gate Bridge and on to Summer’s apartment was made in a silence that fairly sizzled with unspoken challenges and resolutions. Summer didn’t invite Derek inside but told him goodnight at her door in a crisp, dismissive voice. She would have marched straight inside and closed the door in his face, but he caught her to him for a hard, searing kiss that was too brief to allow her to struggle, yet long enough to leave a lasting imprint on her senses.

  “Stop doing that!” she yelled when Derek released her.

  “No way,” he answered imperturbably. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Summer.”

  “No, you won’t.”

  “Yes,” he answered very softly, “I will. Sleep well, Summer-love.”

  “You—Ooh!” The door slammed very satisfactorily behind her when she bolted into her apartment.

  “That… that man!” she fumed aloud. “That arrogant, presumptuous, pompous, swaggering, domineering—”

  “You could only be talking about my brother,” Connie commented, tying the sash of a slinky gray robe as she entered the living room from her bedroom. “In which case you left out regimented, despotic, egotistical, condescending and self-righteous. I’ve been through the same list of adjectives many times. You can find them in the thesaurus under Derek Anderson.”

  “What are you doing here?” Summer asked in surprise. “I thought you and Joel would—”

  “He brought me straight home!” Connie interrupted incredulously. “He drank a cup of coffee, told me I was delightful and that he would like to see me again, asked me out for dinner Wednesday night and left with a kiss.”

  “How was the kiss?” Summer asked, wondering if it could even begin to compare to Derek’s kisses.

  “On a scale of one to ten—fourteen.”

  “Not bad. He seemed very nice, Connie.”

  “Yes, he is. I really go for him, you know? And I thought he felt the same way about me. But now I don’t know.”

  “Connie, he asked you out. Obviously he does like you. For heaven’s sake, not everyone jumps into bed after knowing each other for only a few hours.”

  “But…” Connie sank to the sagging couch, looking bewildered. “Well, all the guys I know seem to expect, well, you know.”

  Summer sighed and ruffled her short hair, feeling suddenly old. “I keep telling you that men care about more than sex from a woman. Not many of them, it’s true, but there are a few men left who function with th
eir brains instead of their jockstraps. Your brother is not among them, I might add,” she finished darkly.

  “Don’t tell me Derek made another pass at you.”

  “Did he ever. Damn the man, Connie.”

  “Oh, wow.” Connie shook her head, her green eyes dazed. “I can’t believe this is my brother we’re talking about. The man is so proper and straitlaced where I’m concerned that I’ve thought he should be a candidate for the priesthood. Now he’s trying to seduce my roomie. Did you tell him to take a hike into the Pacific?”

  “He seems to have a hearing problem,” Summer answered dolefully, thinking of his patient refusal to accept her attempted rejection of him. She dropped her face into her hands. “Connie, the man is driving me crazy. What am I going to do with him?”

  “Honey, I’ve been asking myself the same question for years. He was always kind of bossy, even when he was a teenager, but ever since he went off to Vietnam and then into that mysterious government work of his, he’s been like a stranger to me. That didn’t keep him from trying to run my life long-distance,” she added bitterly. “God, I get so tired of trying to live up to his expectations.”

  Which was exactly the reason Summer was afraid to get involved with Derek. Like Connie, she was afraid she wouldn’t live up to his expectations. She could see firsthand how much it hurt to love him and not be able to please him. Still, she wished that Connie and Derek could find a way to live in some sort of harmony. After all, they were family. Reaching out a tentative hand to touch Connie’s shoulder, she said carefully, “Derek does love you, Con. Very much. I’ve seen it in his face, and I’ve seen how much it hurts him when the two of you fight. I don’t know why he is such a perfectionist about the people he cares for, but he must have his reasons. Maybe it’s a lingering result of his experience in Vietnam. It must have been horrible.”

  “I know. But he won’t talk about it. Ever. In fact, he rarely talks about himself. Just hands out suggestions.”

  Summer thought about Connie’s words for a moment, realizing they were true. Derek had asked a lot of questions about her past, but he had never volunteered any information about himself.

  “It’s like he came home with a neat list of things to do,” Connie continued glumly. “Buy a house, establish a management consulting business, reform Connie.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I think I’ve replaced you as his next project,” Summer said on a sigh.

  Connie thoughtfully twirled a long red curl around one fingertip. “I noticed something different about Derek at the party tonight, Summer. With you, he’s different. He teased you and smiled at you, and I could have almost sworn that the Derek I knew years ago was back. He was even more relaxed with me when you were around. I think you’re good for him.”

  Summer shook her head quickly, not wanting to hear anything that might lead to false hopes. “No, Connie, it wouldn’t work. He’d start trying to change me, and I’d hate being told what to do.

  “You have a point there.” Connie released the curl she’d twisted into a corkscrew tangle and stared down glumly at her crimson-painted toenails. “I don’t know if it’s possible for him to learn when to butt out.”

  For a time the two young women sat in almost identical poses, faces cradled in hands, elbows propped on knees, as they contemplated the exasperating man whom both were drawn to despite their annoyance with him. Summer was the first to rouse from their mutual stupor.

  “The hell with it,” she announced, pushing herself off the couch. “I’m going to bed, and I suggest you do the same thing. We’ll both get a good night’s sleep, and tomorrow we’ll wake up fresh and ready to take on one Derek Anderson.”

  “You’re right,” Connie agreed decisively, rising to stand beside her friend. “Uh, Summer?”

  “Yes, Connie?” Summer paused on the way to her bedroom to look back over her shoulder.

  “What I would really like is for Derek to just love me, without qualifications, exactly the way I am. I don’t suppose you’d want the same thing from him, would you?”

  Summer tossed her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m holding out for a hero, remember? Not a stuffed-shirt businessman.” She wished she could have had just a little more conviction in her voice.

  “So you’ve gotten immune to his kisses, huh? They didn’t turn you on tonight?”

  Summer sighed deeply. “No more than a current of electricity turns on a light bulb. Damn the man.” She closed the door firmly on Connie’s sudden laughter.

  7

  IF ONLY SHE COULD close the door as resolutely on her thoughts as she had on her roommate, Summer thought much later, tossing and turning in her bed. Derek had shaken her badly tonight, especially when he’d made her realize how much she wanted to make love with him. And he’d wanted her. Why? Why would he want a woman of whom he disapproved so strongly? What was it about her that attracted him?

  Even more to the point, what was it about him that attracted her? After all, he wasn’t handsome. Sexy, yes. Virilely attractive, yes. Nicely built, yes. But not handsome.

  And he didn’t have a great sense of humor. Well, maybe he did, judging from the way he’d teased her and the suspiciously smile-like gleam that flitted so often in his lovely pewtery eyes. But he certainly did his best to keep his sense of humor hidden.

  He was arrogant and overbearing. She tried to forget the gentleness he’d shown her, first when he thought he’d hurt her last Saturday and even tonight, when he should have been angry at being so abruptly rejected. How could he have been so understanding?

  He was too conventional. Yes, there was one accusation that would stick. Summer craved adventure, excitement. That was why she drifted from job to job, trying to find something to replace the thrill of dancing and acting, why she hated schedules and routines, why she’d moved to an eccentric town like San Francisco, a place as different from Rose Bud, Arkansas, as anyone could possibly imagine. Derek had put excitement and adventure behind him, choosing a quiet, settled life as a businessman over his former government career. Now his idea of adventure probably consisted of trying out a new restaurant or a new brand of toothpaste.

  So what did Derek see in her? Was she his thrill of the month? Did he get some kind of kick out of the idea of taking a free-spirited, lame butterfly to his bed?

  Deciding that she would never decipher Derek’s motives tonight, Summer rolled over in the bed, slammed her fist into her pillow a couple of times and pulled the covers to her ears. She lay still for a long moment, deliberately concentrating on clearing her mind of all thought.

  Which left it open to sensation.

  Once again she could feel Derek’s arms around her as soft music swirled around them, could feel his lips on hers, his hands on her back, his breath and tongue on her breasts. “Dammit!” she muttered, kicking off her covers and throwing her pillow to the floor in an unwonted temper tantrum. “Get out of my bedroom, Derek Anderson!”

  She plopped onto her stomach, leaving her pillow where it had fallen, and willed herself into a restless sleep.

  Across the bay Derek lay in his bed and stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom, his arms behind his head. The pieces of the puzzle that made up Summer Reed were slowly beginning to come together for him. Despite her pretense of carefree sophistication, Summer was basically a sweet, somewhat old-fashioned young woman who still believed in the values she’d been taught during her childhood in Rose Bud, Arkansas. She loved to laugh but behind the laughter were tears that she would allow no one to see. Tears of disappointment for the career she’d never had a chance to pursue, tears of frustration for the unfulfilling life she’d drifted into, tears of chagrin for the uncomfortable disability that prevented her from participating in many of the activities a healthy young woman of her age enjoyed. Dancing, sports, runs on the beach. Perhaps even limited her daily activities. Shopping, walking. He’d noticed the way her limp grew even more pronounced when she’d been standing for a long time.

  He hated the th
ought of Summer in pain. Just the idea of her lying bloody and torn on a street after the accident made him break out in a cold sweat. Did the leg still give her pain? Of course it did. He’d seen injuries like that before, in Vietnam, and they never completely healed. But she’d never let on if she were in pain. She’d just make a joke about it and change the subject.

  She was so very vulnerable. So afraid of being hurt again. Had she really thought he didn’t know that? Did she really think he’d ever do anything to hurt her? He wasn’t going to let her insecurities stand between them when something much stronger was pulling them together.

  Derek was beginning to suspect exactly what it was he felt for Summer Reed, though he would wait until he was sure before applying a label to his feelings. Unlike Summer, the idea of a relationship, a permanent relationship, did not frighten him at all. She was wonderful; she was everything he’d been looking for. He wanted nothing more than to make her happy.

  Derek went to sleep feeling very optimistic about his future, exhilarated by his new mission.

  DEREK STOOD outside Summer and Connie’s apartment at nine o’clock on Sunday morning, just in case Summer had planned to leave early to avoid seeing him. He pressed the doorbell. He knew his pursuit of Summer Reed would not be an easy one. She was going to resist him. She’d spent too many years hiding her feelings to open up to him immediately. But what the heck—he’d taken on assignments with slimmer odds and won. He had every confidence he would win this time. He pressed the bell again.

  It was his sister who finally opened the door, wrapped in a gray robe and nothing else, her eyes sleepy.

  “Don’t you think you should ask who’s ringing the bell before you open the door dressed like that?” he growled in concern.

  “Give me a break, Derek, I saw you through the peephole,” Connie returned crossly. “Besides, rapists don’t ring doorbells. They climb through windows.”

  “Connie, that’s ridiculous.” He brushed past her. “Summer still in bed?”