Hero in Disguise

by Wilkins, Gina

  The sob escaped. “I know,” Summer whispered, covering her face with her hands. “Oh, Connie, what am I going to do?”

  “You’ve fallen in love with him, haven’t you?” Connie asked in surprise. “You’ve actually fallen in love with Derek.”

  “Yes,” Summer whispered. “Are you very much surprised?”

  “Maybe a little,” Connie admitted with a short laugh. “I mean, you and Derek… Still, I’ve watched you with him. I’ve seen the way you treated other men during the time you and I have known each other. You wouldn’t have let any of them boss you around like Derek does. And there was something in your eyes when you looked at him at his party last night, and again this morning when he came for you. It’s in his eyes, too, you know.”

  “I know,” Summer murmured.

  “But if you’re in love with him, I can see why you’re so unhappy. I guess I’ve started to see that Derek’s not quite the boring tyrant I’ve built him up to be during the past few months, but I don’t know if he’s capable of really loving a woman the way you’d want to be loved. He’d have to admit that he’s as human as anyone else.”

  “Connie, he told me tonight that he loves me,” Summer blurted out bravely.

  Connie gazed wide-eyed at her friend. “He did?”

  “Yes, he did.”

  “How? I mean, was he passionate and romantic and the whole bit?”

  Summer chuckled despite her pain. “He was marvelous, Connie. Passionate and romantic and the whole bit.”

  “Wow.” Connie shook her head in pleased amazement. “I knew you were good for him. So what’s the problem? Why the tears?”

  “That’s why,” Summer wailed. “He can’t really be in love with me.”

  “Come on, Summer, Derek’s not the type to lie to you just to get you into bed. One thing about my brother, he’s honest. Too honest sometimes,” she added with a wince. “If he says something, he means it.”

  “I know he thinks he’s in love with me. He certainly wasn’t telling me just to get me into bed. I was already there.” Summer sighed. Rushing on when Connie lifted an eyebrow in interest, she continued, “I think he’s been carried away with physical attraction, Connie. He’s convinced himself that he’s in love because it happened so fast and so intensely and he doesn’t know how else to explain it. He’s not giving himself enough time to be objective and look at the reasons why it just couldn’t work.”

  “Summer, forgive me, but that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Connie said bluntly. “You act like he’s an infatuated schoolboy. The man’s pushing forty, Summer, and he has certainly had his share of women. I don’t mean to offend you, my friend, but it’s not like you’re the type of woman who’d drive a man senseless with lust. You’re cute and everything, but we’re not talking Miss Universe here.”

  “Oh, Connie.” Summer smiled through her tears. “Don’t make me laugh now. Can’t you see I’m trying to be miserable?”

  “I can’t help it. Derek would laugh, too, if he could hear what you’re saying. I think he knows lust from love.”

  “But how could he be in love with me? He barely knows me, and he doesn’t approve of what he does know.”

  “You’re in love with him, and the situation is the same for you,” Connie pointed out. “You haven’t known him any longer, and he’s hardly the hero you’ve been looking for. Come on, Summer, if anyone had told you a couple of weeks ago that you would fall for a somewhat stuffy, ultraconservative former bureaucrat, you’d have laughed in his face. Admit it.”

  “Well, yes, but Derek’s not really like that, Connie. He has a great sense of humor; he just expresses it subtly. And he isn’t all that proper when he’s after something he really wants,” she added, remembering the jeans and leather jacket and the incredibly adventurous lovemaking.

  “Just as there is more to you than you’ll allow most people to see,” Connie said succinctly. “Obviously Derek has the intelligence and good sense to see beneath your eccentric exterior to find the common ground the two of you share.”

  “I’ll admit that both Derek and I have sides to us that we don’t normally put on display,” Summer conceded. “But the parts of us that are visible are real, Connie, not deliberate misrepresentations. Derek really is a conservative businessman to whom things like schedules and responsibilities are important. And I truly enjoy the crazy parties we throw and the nutty friends that we’ve made and an occasional lapse into impulsive insanity. I’m terrified that Derek would try to change me into someone more like, well, like Joanne Payne. I’m afraid we’d start to hate each other, and I couldn’t bear that.”

  “If he’d wanted Joanne Payne, he’d have kept her around. It’s called compromise, Summer. It’s part of any relationship between two naturally different individuals. That’s why Stu and I didn’t make it—because neither of us would give an inch. But you and Derek could do it, if you try. You give in on the things that are particularly important to him, and he does the same for you. You attend his boring, business-related cocktail parties, and he learns to enjoy himself at your bashes. You live on his schedule during the week, and he keeps the weekends open for impulsive adventures.”

  “Maybe.” Though she didn’t sound entirely convinced, Summer allowed that subject to drop. “There’s something else,” she murmured, looking down at her clenched hands. Without looking up she explained. “Do you think Derek has really stopped to think about what it would be like to be involved with a woman who couldn’t join him in all those sports he loves so much? You told me yourself when he was dating Joanne that you thought her backhand was the quality he most admired in her. I put myself on crutches for almost a month last year simply by playing a sedate game of volleyball. If Derek loves sports so much, he’s going to want to continue to participate in them. And, while I wouldn’t mind occasionally, I sure don’t want to spend all my leisure time sitting on the sidelines. That may be selfish, but I can’t help it. I’m a doer, Connie, not a watcher.”

  “Compromise,” Connie reminded her. “You find things that you can do together. Like swimming. You’ve always been overly sensitive about your limp, Summer. It doesn’t make that much difference to the people who care for you. Tell me, Summer, did you discuss these things with Derek tonight?”

  “No,” Summer admitted. “I ran. I just knew I had to give him time to be absolutely sure about his feelings for me.”

  “But you did tell him that you love him, didn’t you?”

  Summer squirmed. “No.”

  “Oh, great. He’s probably as miserable as you are right now. Maybe he thinks you’re the one who couldn’t possibly love him, and you’re trying to find a way to break it off gently.”

  I’m no hero, right? Derek had asked with pain in his deep voice. Summer winced as she realized how badly her instinctive rejection had hurt him after he’d opened up enough to tell her that he loved her. Especially after the lovemaking they’d just shared. God, what a mess, she moaned inwardly.

  “Maybe you do need the time, Summer,” Connie said gently. “Time to work out your fears. But don’t shut Derek out. Talk to him like you’ve talked to me tonight. If you’re going to work this out, you’re going to have to do it together.”

  “Connie, when did you suddenly get so wise?” Summer asked with a watery smile. “And why are you pushing me into your brother’s arms?”

  Connie grinned. “Are you kidding? This is the best thing that ever happened to me. If you marry Derek, I’ll have the world’s greatest sister-in-law and you’ll keep him so busy that he’ll never find the time to rearrange my life for me. You’ll be happy, Derek will be happy, my parents will be happy and I’ll be happy. This is great!”

  “Connie, you’re dreaming, but thank you. I really needed to talk this out with someone.”

  “Anytime, kid.”

  “If you ever need a shoulder…”

  Connie stood and sighed melodramatically. “Offer Wednesday night after my date with Joel. I might need it then.�
�

  “You think there’s a chance that you and Joel could get serious?”

  “Who knows? You and Derek are living proof that stranger things have happened.”

  Summer was almost surprised to hear herself laugh.

  “Thanks a lot, friend.”

  Connie paused in the doorway on her way out. “Would it hurt to call Derek and wish him sweet dreams? I hate to think of my big brother crying himself to sleep.”

  Summer laughed again, as she’d been meant to do, and watched Connie leave. She spent a few minutes in contemplation of true friendship before stripping off her jeans and top and pulling on a pale blue nightgown. The silky fabric felt especially sensuous against her skin still sensitized by Derek’s lovemaking. The memories that flooded her mind made her tremble. She stared at the telephone on her nightstand. She reached for the receiver, pulled back, drew a deep breath and reached out again.

  10

  DEREK SOUNDED GUARDED when he answered his phone. He obviously knew Summer was the caller.

  Now that she had him on the line, she wasn’t sure what she’d wanted to say. “Derek, it’s Summer,” she told him after a short pause.

  “I thought it might be,” he answered, confirming her guess. “Are you okay?”

  The concern in his voice made her blink back a rush of tears. She hadn’t cried this much in five years, she told herself impatiently. “I’m fine, Derek. Are you?”

  “I’m sitting here staring into a double Scotch and wondering if I should have refused to take you home tonight,” he answered flatly. “I’d like to be holding you instead of this glass. What happened, Summer?”

  “I panicked,” she admitted softly. “I just panicked. Things got too serious, and I couldn’t think of a joke to lighten the mood, so I ran.”

  “That’s what I thought,” he murmured. “Summer, why did you go to bed with me tonight?”

  She couldn’t speak for a moment as the words jammed in her throat, then she forced herself to answer. “That’s why I called, Derek. There was something I wanted to tell you.”

  There was a pause, and then he spoke tonelessly, as if dreading her answer but wanting to get it over with. “What is it, Summer?”

  How vulnerable he was, Summer thought in bemusement. As vulnerable as she. She had been unintentionally cruel to him tonight. “I forgot to tell you that I love you, Derek. I think I have from the beginning.”

  When the pause at the other end threatened to turn into minutes, she asked anxiously, “Derek, did you hear me?”

  “I heard you, Summer,” he finally answered. “Did you just realize this?”

  “No. I knew it even before we made love. I just wouldn’t admit it.”

  “Then why did you put me through hell tonight?” Derek demanded in frustration. “What are you doing there when you should be here, in my bed? I thought you were trying to let me down easy because you didn’t love me and didn’t think you ever could.”

  “Derek, I never knew I could love anyone like this. But I still think you need time,” she added hastily.

  “Me? You were giving me time?” he asked incredulously. “Summer, I know how I feel. I’m not confused by my feelings for you. Forgive me for being blunt, darling, but I’ve known physical desire before and I’ve never confused great sex for anything more than it was. Tonight wasn’t sex, Summer. Tonight was love.”

  “Oh, Derek, I want so much to believe that. I still think you should take time to think about what a relationship with me would involve. It would take compromise and lots of time because we really are different in some ways. I am lame, and I just can’t promise that I’ll be on time to everything or plan my days or weeks according to some schedule or—”

  “Summer.” Derek interrupted her gently, his voice sounding considerably lighter than it had when he’d answered the telephone. “Do you love me?”

  “Yes, Derek, I love you.”

  “Then we’ll work it out,” he told her confidently. “Dammit, Summer, why didn’t you stay and talk to me instead of leaving me to think you didn’t love me?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You should be. I don’t know if I’m going to spank you or throw you to the floor and ravish you the next time I see you.”

  “Do I have a choice?” she asked with an attempt at humor.

  “No. I think I’ll let you worry about it. You deserve it. Will I see you tomorrow?”

  Summer took a deep breath. “No, Derek. I still want you to take this week to think about us. Think about everything I’ve said and whether it’s worth it to you to make some sacrifices and compromises. If you decide that I’m not right for you after all, I’ll… I’ll try to understand.” She’d die, she thought, but she didn’t voice that glum thought.

  Derek growled very distinctly into the receiver. “You are driving me slowly insane, Summer Reed. The biggest obstacle I can see between us right now is your stubborn refusal to give me a chance to convince you that we can overcome the other obstacles. I’ll take the damned week if you insist, but it’s not going to change a thing. I’m old enough and experienced enough to know what I’m feeling and to understand what is involved here. Dammit, woman, I love you, and I’m going to convince you of that if it kills us both.”

  Summer laughed softly, reluctantly. “I’m beginning to believe you.”

  “Good. I’m the guy who always gets what he’s after, remember?”

  “I love you, Derek.”

  “I love you; Summer. Let me prove it to you.”

  “I’ll talk to you next weekend,” she promised and hung up the phone. When she went to sleep several hours later, it was with the hope that she and Derek did have a chance.

  DEREK STARED DOWN at the phone, placed his glass of Scotch very carefully on the table beside it and stood motionless for a full minute. Then he suddenly punched the air above his head with one fist. “Yeah!” he yelled.

  She loved him. Summer Reed loved him. High on a burst of sheer adrenaline, he was as exhilarated as he’d ever been after winning a marathon. His heart was pounding, his chest tight. She loved him. God, he felt good!

  But how could she have walked away from him tonight after the most incredible lovemaking that he’d ever experienced? She had ripped him apart when she’d turned away from him after he’d told her he loved her. Maybe he’d been an arrogant jerk to assume she loved him simply because he loved her, but he could not imagine that she could respond to him the way she did and not care for him. And then she had closed her door in his face.

  It had hurt. He hadn’t known anything could hurt that much. But she loved him. That knowledge erased the pain as if it had never existed. Thank God she had called.

  Imagine her thinking that their unimportant diversities would keep them apart. He knew they had their differences. Did she think he was so dense he didn’t realize there would be compromises and sacrifices to make? There were some adjustments to make in any relationship that was worth pursuing. He could handle it. Summer was worth anything. But how could he convince her that he knew what he was doing?

  Damn that spineless, self-centered actor who had walked out on her when she’d needed him. No wonder she was afraid to trust Derek’s emotions now. What was it about charming, shallow actors that his sister and Summer had both been attracted to them in their pasts? Now Derek had to repair the damage. But how? How could he convince her that they weren’t all that different?

  He stood in deep contemplation for a while, then snapped his fingers. The grin that split his tanned face would have astonished his sister. It was an expression of pure mischief. Derek had a plan.

  THE FLOWERS ARRIVED at her desk on Monday morning, a dozen red roses in an exquisite crystal vase. As the other women in the accounting department drooled in envy and her no-nonsense supervisor, Mr. Gleason, glowered at the distraction, Summer ripped open the card with fingers that displayed a disturbing tendency to tremble.

  She knew right away that the bold, slashing script belonged to Derek, though t
he card was not signed.

  You want romance? I’ll give you romance. I love you.

  “Wow,” Connie breathed, coming from behind her desk to reverently touch the velvety petal of one perfect rose. “Oh, wow.”

  Summer hesitated for a moment, then handed Connie the card. She had to share what she was feeling with someone. Connie read the card in awe, then looked up to shake her head and repeat, “Oh, wow.”

  Summer took a deep breath and laughed shakily. “That’s exactly the way I would have put it.”

  “This is so romantic. I can’t believe Derek did this. How can you resist this?”

  “I can’t. And he knows it, the rat.”

  Connie laughed as Summer shook her head in exasperation.

  “ANDERSON.” Derek’s voice over the telephone was clipped.

  “Derek? It’s Summer.”

  His voice softened. “Oh, hi, sweetheart. Did you get the roses?”

  “Yes, and they’re beautiful. But you’re not playing fair.”

  “Hey, we never set any conditions about this week. I promised to give you time, but I never said I’d let you forget about me.”

  “I hardly think I’m going to forget you, Derek.”

  “You’re not kidding. I’ve gotta go, sweetheart. I love you.” He hung up before she could answer.

  Derek smiled down at the telephone in satisfaction. He’d mapped out a precise campaign for the upcoming week, all carefully thought out to convince Summer that he was the man of her dreams. His siege had been planned as carefully as any mission he’d ever undertaken.

  Once again the thought momentarily occurred to him that he should have told Summer the truth about the past, but still there was a reluctance to risk impressing her with a distorted image of a life of danger and adventure. No, better to leave it alone for now. That would make her eventual surrender to him all the sweeter.

  Thinking of the delivery he planned for her to receive the next day, Derek grinned wickedly. He’d almost forgotten how to play during the past few years, he mused. The sights he’d seen in Vietnam and in back alleys across Europe and the Middle East had been grim enough to drive the laughter out of even the most lighthearted of men. But Summer had given him back the ability to laugh and the urge to play. He could love her for that, even if he did not already adore her for her sweetness, her warmth and her kindness.