DON'T GET CAUGHT (The Jack Shepherd Novels Book 5)

by Jake Needham

  Kate had been a popular prime minister, which from the military’s point of view was exactly the problem. Thais were accustomed to political coups. They’d had more than any other country in the world. But historically the coups had mostly involved one faction of the military forcing another faction of the military out of power and taking over themselves. On the occasions the army had ousted a civilian government instead, it was generally a government so corrupt and despised most people were happy to see it go.

  This time it was different.

  Kate was both popular and honest. After she took over as party leader, she had dissolved parliament and called an election and she had won it with the biggest majority in the history of the country. She had so much popular support there was a lot of speculation she might finally be able to bring the Thai military under civilian control, and that was exactly why the generals had moved on her. She was a threat to them when she was in office and, now that she was out of office, she might be an even bigger threat.

  Their play was obvious. They had to take Kate off the board. Whatever that meant.

  They couldn’t be seen to do it directly, off course. That might well trigger a civil war. But an accident or a prison killing? That would do it. There would be speculation General Prasert was behind it, of course, but unless he was incredibly stupid no one would be able to prove a thing. And I doubted he was stupid at all. Without Kate to rally around, the opposition would lose its center. It would drift into formlessness, and then it too would die. After that, the military would rule over the country completely unchallenged.

  “Jello, you’ve got the wrong guy. I’m a middle-aged lawyer, not an action hero.”

  “If not you, who?”

  “Well… how about you?”

  “I’m the police. She wouldn’t trust me.”

  “And you think she would trust me?”

  Jello gave me a long look.

  “It wasn’t like that, pal,” I sighed. “It was never like that.”

  “Maybe not,” Jello said, “but it could have been like that.”

  He had me there and he knew it, so I did the only thing I could do. I kept quiet and went back to drinking my martini.

  “Look, Jack, the danger to Kate is real. Do you think there’s the slightest chance General Prasert is going to put her on trial and allow her to be found not guilty?”

  I shook my head.

  “You think they’ll find her guilty and just send her home and tell her to be good?”

  I shook my head again.

  “So I gather you must also agree with me that once Kate goes to trial the game is over for her. She’s going to prison. So what’s going to stop that trial from happening? Overwhelming diplomatic pressure from the United States?”

  This time I didn’t even bother to shake my head.

  “How about some kind of intervention from another country?” Jello asked. “The UK? Australia? Canada?”

  “Maybe there’ll be a popular uprising,” I said.

  “Thais don’t rise up, Jack. You know that as well as I do. They play golf, they go shopping, and they have lunch with their friends. But they don’t rise up. Besides, the army has guns and we don’t.”

  “We?”

  Jello looked away. He almost appeared embarrassed for a moment, but I had never seen Jello embarrassed by anything so I wasn’t absolutely certain what that looked like.

  “Forget what I just said, Jack. Please.”

  “Sure. I understand.”

  Jello shifted his eyes back to me and examined my face as if he was looking for proof I really did understand. I gather he must have found it because he went on.

  “No diplomatic pressure from outside the country and no political pressure from inside the country can only mean one thing. Kate’s trial goes forward. Unless General Prasert simply changes his mind and turns her loose. Do you think General Prasert is going to change his mind and turn her loose, Jack?”

  I said nothing. I didn’t really have to say anything.

  “Kate has to get out of the country and out of the reach of General Prasert before he puts her on trial.” Jello’s eyes shifted to someplace over my shoulder for a moment and then came back to me. “They’ve given her bail so she’s at home now, but my information is that they are going to revoke bail and take her into custody on the first day of her trial.”

  The elderly waiter appeared next to our table with another bottle of Tsingtao and a fresh glass on a silver tray. The bottle was so cold it looked like something out of a television beer commercial. Huge drops of condensation rolled down its neck and dripped off its sides.

  The waiter collected Jello’s empty bottle and unused glass. He placed the fresh glass on a coaster, lifted the bottle from the tray, and hesitated. The old man looked at Jello and raised his eyebrows slightly. When Jello shook his head, he placed the bottle on another coaster without pouring it into the glass, gave a little head bob, and disappeared.

  “I hate waiters who talk too much,” I said.

  TWELVE

  “HOW MUCH DO you know about what’s happened in Thailand since the military took over?” Jello asked me.

  “Not a lot.”

  “The army has gone after everyone they think might oppose them. They’ve locked up the people they fear the most, and they’re watching everybody else.”

  “Surely not everybody else.”

  “It’s the fucking army, Jack. They’ve got all the manpower and technology they need. They watch cell phones, internet usage, where people go and who they see, everything. They’re watching all of Kate’s family; they’re watching all of the people who were in government with Kate; they’re watching all of her major supporters. That’s exactly why Kate needs you. Only an outsider she trusts can get this done.”

  “Are they watching you?”

  “I don’t think so. At least not yet. I’ve tried not to give them a reason. Why do you think I’ve been so careful coming all the way up here to see you instead of just calling?”

  I knew Jello was exaggerating about everybody being watched, at least I assumed he was, but I didn’t see any point in starting an argument over it. So I nodded and sipped my martini.

  “Kate has been saying that she’s not going to flee, but General Prasert doesn’t really believe her. He’s expecting her friends or family or supporters to try to help her get out of the country.”

  “Wait… what? Are you saying Kate doesn’t want to leave the country?”

  “Well…” Jello hesitated and shifted his eyes to a woman down below in the lobby clicking across the marble floor on impossibly high heels. “That’s what she’s been saying.”

  “Does she mean it?”

  Jello’s head bobbed around as if it had become momentarily detached from his shoulders.

  “I imagine she thinks she does. She needs somebody she trusts to change her mind.”

  Jello squared his considerable shoulders, shifted his eyes back from the woman in the lobby, and pointed at me with the neck of his beer bottle.

  “That,” he said, “would be you.”

  “Let me make sure I’ve got this straight,” I said. “You’re here to persuade me to come to Bangkok, not just to find a way to slip Kate out of the country right under the nose of the entire Thai army, but to convince her to go in the first place. Have I got that right?”

  Jello nodded.

  “Then you’re an idiot. Where’s that waiter? I need another martini.”

  I located the elderly man in the white jacket, waved a hand to get his attention, and pointed at my martini glass. He nodded solemnly and turned toward the bar. Even at a distance, he apparently appreciated my need.

  “I’ve made a few arrangements for you,” Jello said.

  “Arrangements? Arrangements for what?”

  “Your name is on the immigration watch list in Thailand because of that business last year. I’m not sure if they would refuse you entry or just put you under surveillance, but either way you entering Thailand
as Jack Shepherd right now isn’t a good idea.”

  That business last year was a polite way to put it.

  It’s a long story, as the saying goes, but here’s the condensed book version. When Kate became prime minister, Thailand was in chaos. Somehow I found myself enlisted as a go-between with Kate when a client of mine, a wealthy former prime minister living in splendid exile in Dubai, seemed to be on the verge of pushing Thailand into a civil war. I was a reluctant participant in the whole complicated saga, and neither of them seemed all that happy to have me in the middle of it either, but that was the way things worked out anyway. We did manage to avoid that civil war, but at considerable cost, and I pissed off a lot of people in a lot of places. They even locked me up at the American Embassy for a while until everything calmed down, probably as much for my protection as theirs, and then they quickly hustled me out of the country. I wasn’t surprised to hear I was on an immigration watch list. I figured I was probably on a lot of lists by now.

  “Good to know, Jello, but it doesn’t really matter. I’m not entering Thailand again as anybody.”

  Jello acted as if he hadn’t heard me. He leaned forward, pulled a small booklet with a deep-blue cover out of one of the back pockets of his pants, and tossed it on the table between us. It hit on one corner and flipped over as it landed. Emblazoned in the center of the front cover was a very impressive coat of arms with the word CANADA printed above it and PASSPORT✺PASSEPORT printed beneath it.

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me, Jello.”

  He said nothing.

  “I’m not picking that up,” I said.

  “It’s completely genuine. I’ve got a friend at the Canadian Embassy who helps me out sometimes and fortunately we had a picture of you from last year that worked fine.”

  “The Thai police have a picture of me?”

  Jello gave me a strange look. “We’ve got quite a few. You never kept what anybody would call a low profile.”

  I was still trying to figure out what to say to that when the waiter appeared with my martini. He collected my empty glass and replaced it with a fresh drink, then nodded expressionlessly and moved away.

  When he had gone, I still had no idea what to say to Jello so I drank my martini and said nothing at all. My silence didn’t seem to bother Jello much because he started talking again almost immediately.

  “Don’t stay anywhere you’ve ever stayed before and avoid places where you might be known. Go to the bar of Le Bouchon in Patpong and introduce yourself to the bartender.” Jello pointed to the Canadian passport. “Use the name in that passport, of course, not Jack Shepherd. Arrangements are being made for you to meet discreetly with Kate, and the bartender will tell you what they are. Don’t contact me unless you have to, and use same number you used tonight if you do.”

  “You have lost your mind,” I said. “There’s no longer the slightest doubt about it. You have lost your fucking mind.”

  “I’d suggest you pick a large hotel,” Jello continued, completely ignoring me. “Something middle of the road where a Canadian lawyer in town on business wouldn’t be conspicuous. Don’t stay at the Oriental, but don’t stay in a Khao San Road guesthouse either. And don’t tell anyone where you are.”

  “You do understand I’m not going to do this, don’t you? I don’t want to go back to Thailand, and Thailand doesn’t want me to come back. I’m certainly not even going to think about sneaking into the country on a phony passport because you insist I need to rescue a damsel in distress.”

  “I already told you, Jack. The passport isn’t phony. It’s entirely genuine. Aren’t you listening to me?”

  I shook my head, looked away, and rubbed at my face with one hand.

  Jello reached into his back pocket again and this time came out with a white envelope that he tossed onto the table next to the passport.

  “Here’s an e-ticket on Cathay Pacific that matches the passport. The booking is for the day after tomorrow, but you can change it to anything you want. There’s also a MasterCard that bills back to an accommodation address for Special Branch intelligence. It will work fine as an ID for you to check into a hotel with the passport, but for God’s sakes pay in cash and don’t use the card for anything. If you charge something to it, I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do.”

  I didn’t touch the envelope either. I left it lying beside the passport and sat there in silence. Eventually, Jello leaned forward and moved his beer bottle to one side as if it were blocking his access to me.

  “Kate’s in grave danger,” he said. “They are going to kill her. She needs your help.”

  “But you just told me she doesn’t think so. She doesn’t even think she needs to get out of the country.”

  “She has to be made to understand how much danger she’s in. That’s the first reason she needs you.”

  “There’s got to be another way.”

  “There isn’t.”

  “I’m no knight errant, Jello. I’m not a damsels-in-distress kind of guy.”

  Jello smiled at that.

  “Oh yes, you are,” he said. “That’s exactly what you are.”

  Jello finished his second beer, but he didn’t look inclined to order another one so I gathered our conversation was drawing to a close. What did he think was going to happen now? That I would suddenly jump to my feet and charge off into the night to rescue the pretty lady? No, of course not. Jello had to know I wasn’t going to do anything of the sort. Which brought me back to my original question.

  So I just asked him.

  “What now, Jello?”

  “Now I’m going to get a little sleep and first thing tomorrow morning I’m going back to Bangkok.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I was asking you what you think is going to happen now as far as I’m concerned?”

  Jello pursed his lips and looked thoughtful as if it were a question he had never thought about before.

  “Well,” he eventually said, “I guess you’ll have to decide how much Kate really means to you and what kind of man you are.”

  “That’s not fair, Jello.”

  He shrugged and got to his feet.

  “You can’t really expect me to try to fake my way into Thailand on a Canadian passport, somehow convince Kate to flee the country, and then blunder around until I come up with a plan for us to evade the entire Thai army and slip over the border without getting shot. That’s crazy.”

  “Maybe.” Jello shrugged again and I watched the dancing girls ripple across the chest of his Hawaiian shirt. “But maybe that’s the only way.”

  “If I got caught trying to get Kate out of the country, it would be my ass. They’d kill us both and bury us so deep no one would ever find us.”

  “That’s right, they would,” Jello nodded. “So I’ve got a suggestion for you.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t get caught.”

  THIRTEEN

  JELLO TURNED AND lumbered off toward the wide staircase that led from the Clipper Lounge down to the lobby of the Mandarin. I followed him with my eyes until he reached the bottom and disappeared through the hotel’s front doors.

  That was when it occurred to me that the bastard had stuck me with the check after all. And he had left that damned passport and the envelope lying right in the middle of the table.

  I knew I shouldn’t touch either one of them and that I would come to regret it if I did, but simple curiosity can be a powerful motivation even when you know better. Remember what it did to the cat? Yeah, me too.

  Needless to say, I picked up the passport anyway. I flipped through it and found a collection of visas and entry and exit stamps for various Asian countries. The thing certainly looked legitimate. I turned to the identification page and contemplated the picture. It was me. No doubt about it. Jello had probably used one of the photos they had taken at the American Embassy when they released me, issued me an emergency passport, and shooed me out of Thailand. I looked tired, haggard, and pissed off. In short
, the photograph was the perfect choice for a passport.

  The date of birth in the passport was my own, and the place of birth was Vancouver, which was generic enough to pass muster almost anywhere. But I almost laughed out loud when I saw the name Jello had selected for me.

  John Smith.

  I guess that was the most anonymous name he could think of, and Jack was a common nickname for John so if somehow I slipped and said my name was Jack I would still be within the ballpark of believability.

  But John Smith?

  Come on, man.

  I picked up the white envelope and tore off the end. As advertised, it contained a MasterCard issued by the Royal Bank of Canada in the name of John Smith. It also contained an electronic ticket receipt for John Smith to fly on Cathay Pacific Airways from Hong Kong to Bangkok. I was pleased to see the ticket was business class, and even more pleased to see it was round trip. At least Jello apparently assumed I would be coming back to Hong Kong. Or maybe he just didn’t think Thai immigration would let a foreigner into the country unless he had a round trip ticket. That was more likely the reason.

  I signaled the waiter to bring the check. I knew I ought just to walk away and leave the passport, ticket, and credit card lying on the table right there in the Clipper Lounge. I knew I should, but I also knew I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to do it. I would have to take it and find a way to get it all back to Jello later. I suppose that’s why God made Federal Express.

  When the waiter placed the check discreetly at my elbow, I glanced at it and damn near had a seizure. I thought for a moment about using Jello’s MasterCard to pay it, but that would have been too cruel. I didn’t want to get Jello in trouble. I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone.

  Fortunately I had enough cash to cover the bill without applying for a loan, but only barely. I was sure our waiter would be disappointed with his tip. He had been such a friendly fellow he deserved more, but when you’re out of cash you’re out of cash.