Vehn (Exotic Ink Book 1)

by LS Anders

  Callie nodded, averting her eyes away quickly.

  “Why didn't you let me in? We could have fixed all this a long time ago and avoided all this mess.”

  Callie had no answers for him. How did you explain to someone like him what it was like to be one of the general populace while he was anything but?

  “If it were you and the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel if you saw something like that on TV? I was just trying to protect myself the only way I knew how, and I did try and talk to you last week, but you bolted out the back door as if your ass was on fire.”

  “I would have at least heard what you had to say,” Vehn argued. “And I didn’t know what to think after the way you acted, Callie. I guess I went into self-preservation mode, too. I didn’t know what to think. For fuck’s sake, did you ever have any feelings for me at all?”

  “I tried talking to you last week and you bolted. You wouldn’t even look at me! You never even gave me a chance to talk to find out what I was going to say, Vehn!”

  “You never gave me a chance either, Callie! How does it fucking feel?” Vehn yelled back.

  “Ok, then. Let's hear it! When did you break up with her? Was it before the Halloween party or after?” Callie started firing off questions not giving him a chance to answer. She was beginning to get pissed off that she felt like he was putting all the blame on her. It was his ex who had started this, and it was his fame that had made the situation worse. It wasn't her fault if she felt inferior to him. “Were you ever in love with her? Were the two of you ever engaged? How do you think that made me feel to see that shit on TV for everyone to witness? Do you have any idea what it’s like to be a nobody and date someone like you? It’s hard, Vehn! I’ve never felt this insecure in my entire life, and that includes what happened with Ryder.”

  “Callie, calm down,” he soothed, rushing over to kneel in front of her as she started to hyperventilate. Cupping her face in his large hands, he brushed away tears she wasn’t aware of shedding with the pads of his thumbs. “I’ve been sick to my soul about all this, and I’ve felt just as insecure as you have. You’re not a nobody, Callie. I can’t even believe you just said that. You’re such an amazing woman. I’m the one who was lucky to be with you, not the other way around. I wish you could see that about yourself.”

  “I missed you,” she breathed. “I'm so sorry for what I did to you. All of it. If I could go back and change the past, I would open that door. I didn't set out to hurt you, but unfortunately my insecurities got in the way of my heart.”

  She wanted to say she loved him, the words on the tip of her tongue, but fear of rejection held them in place.

  “I'm relieved to hear you say that, and I'm sorry, too. I was worried you didn't want to have anything more to do with me, and I missed you.” He took both her hands in his, gently squeezing, looking like he wanted to say more, but was hesitant to do so. “Listen to me. I’m just a guy, Callie. You have no reason to feel insecure. I lo… like you… a lot…”

  Did he… was he about to say the L-word? Callie shook her head chasing the thought away. She had to have been mistaken.

  “You’re not just a guy, Vehn. You’re known all over the world. How can you be just a freaking guy?”

  Vehn’s jaw clenched hard as he dropped his head, letting go of one of her hands to run it through his hair. Callie couldn’t help but watch the chocolate-colored strands catch the light as his fingers tunneled through the mass. She missed the unimaginable softness.

  Vehn sat back on his haunches looking up at her. “I’ve met a lot of celebrities over the course of my career. There were only a few that made me feel star-struck, so I do know how you feel. David Gandy made me the most nervous, but once I got to know him, he was just like everybody else. I just wish you could look at me like you would any other person.”

  Callie wished she could, too, but it was difficult to look into a face she had been gushing over for years and not be a little intimidated, even overwhelmed at times.

  “Try and remember how you felt about me when you thought I was Lee,” he suggested. “You know, I never set out to become this. I wanted to be a photographer, and not fashion photography, either. I wanted to focus on traveling to off-the-beaten-path locations, taking photos of unknown landscapes and people. I would have loved to have worked for National Geographic—that was my dream. Not modeling. Can you imagine how much fun it would have been to trek across the globe to foreign lands?”

  The excited faraway look in his eyes made her smile. She wished he could share the image he was seeing in his mind. She knew he'd wanted to be a photographer, but had no idea about the dream he was describing now.

  “I never knew that about you.”

  “I’ve never told anybody that, not even Tegan. I always felt people would make fun of me for wanting to do it.”

  “Why would you think that? It sounds like an amazing adventure.”

  He looked so vulnerable, and she felt so honored that he would tell her such a closely guarded secret as that. It was as if she was seeing him for the very first time. Underneath the mask of fame, she could see the freshly graduated high schooler with his whole life ahead of him, his goal firmly in sight, and ready to take on the path less traveled.

  “I don’t know. It just seemed like a silly job. I mean, can you see me with a backpack and one of those safari hats, snapping pictures of monkeys somewhere in the middle of a rain forest?” he asked, blushing.

  “Yes, I can, and you would look hot as hell doing it!” Callie exclaimed.

  “Only you would think so.”

  “I know so.”

  Callie couldn’t stand it any longer. She leaned forward and ran her hand through his hair, her fingertips grazing his scalp.

  Vehn stared hard into her eyes, a moment of uncertainty ghosting by. Clearing his throat, he took her hand in his, drawing it away.

  “Callie, I would like to try again, but we should take it slow. I want you to be sure that you can handle the spotlight that comes with me if we get involved with each other again. You need to be certain that this is something you want and can live with. If we continue to see each other, you won’t have the anonymity you’re used to anymore. There will be days when people will follow you around and hound you with cameras. I just don’t want either of us to get hurt.”

  If! This was the first time the word “if” had sounded like the most vulgar curse word in the English language to Callie.

  She blinked hard to keep the tears of disappointment at bay. This was not what she wanted to hear. Not this maybe. Not this hesitation from him. She wanted hot and heavy passion like she had already experienced, not being held by him at arm’s length. She wanted that look of love she had seen in his eyes again, not this uncertainty that lingered there now.

  He was right, though. It was probably for the best to go slow. He was unsure about their relationship because her insecurities had reared their ugly heads, and although she couldn’t blame him, it made her heart hurt like nothing ever had before.

  She was going to have to make herself see past the magazine cover model or this would never work for them. She was going to have to shirk the insecurities that were holding her back and trust him, because she had no doubt there would be something else that would crop up, more lies that would be exploited or some photograph that would be misconstrued and made into a headline. She was going to have to grow a thicker layer of skin and trust him above and beyond any fabricated tabloid stories.

  She wished she could erase the past few weeks and go back in time to the day all this had started. She would have answered his call and opened the door, and then none of this would have happened.

  No steps back, only steps forward in their relationship. She knew if she had done things differently, she would have already told him she was in love with him.

  “You’re right. We need to go slow. It was a crazy whirlwind for us. We should take our time and get to know each other better.” Even though that was the best cour
se of action for them, her own words still tasted like week-old garbage. “I will work on my insecurity issues and learn to trust you. Thank you for telling me about your amazing secret dream. I’ll keep it to myself, close to my heart.”

  “So you agree with me, then? You still want to see each other?” Now, she did like this flicker of hope that just flashed in his eyes. “You know, more like… friends?”

  Ok, wait, friends!

  Taking it slower was one thing, but taking it all the way back to friends was a catastrophe. As a matter of fact, it totally sucked! She didn’t want to be friends with him. Ever!

  Besides, male friends didn’t make your panties melt, and Vehn had laid waste to her original panty-melting scale. She'd had to create a newer, more robust scale just for him. Her original one was lukewarm in comparison to the lava-like ratings of this new one. She doubted any other man on the planet would even be able to make it to the number one position.

  “Um… I was thinking more along the lines of maybe seeing each other less or maybe not texting as much. I don’t know if I can be friends with you. I think we’ve moved beyond that already,” Callie said, trying not to choke on her rising panic.

  Vehn’s cheeks colored, and she hoped that was a good sign—that he agreed with her and maybe he was remembering one of their intimate moments together.

  “Yeah. Friends probably isn’t the right word. I just meant we could maybe go back and start over. You know, start our relationship out at a slower pace this time.”

  “I think that’s a great idea. I’d like to try that.” Callie felt the relief in her own voice.

  “Ok. So, I’m Vehn.” He stuck out his hand. “What’s your name?”

  Callie blushed, placing her hand in his. “I’m Callie. Nice to meet you. Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?”

  “Maybe,” he grinned, playing along. “So, Callie. What are you up to tonight? You have any plans?’

  “Well, I was gonna watch a movie. Maybe order take-out or something boring like that. What did you have in mind?”

  “Actually, that sounds like a lot of fun. I feel like I’m running all the time because of work, so staying in sounds like a treat. Annnnnnnd… I just invited myself over to your house.”

  “Annnnnnnd… that’s ok,” Callie reassured him. “I would really like it if you came by and watched a movie with me. I have a huge selection of delivery menus to choose from, too, so we have a ton of food choices. You want to come by around five-ish?”

  “Sure, that would great!”

  Callie nearly swooned at the huge smile that lit up his entire face. Good lord, the man was handsome, famous or not.

  “I guess we should call Tegan and tell him to come let us out.” Vehn stood, pulling his cell from his coat pocket. “Hey, man. You can release us now.”

  This truly was going to be a new beginning for them. She was determined to stay strong this time and push past her own insecurities to make this relationship work. She was already back to once-a-week sessions with Dr. Z, and she was planning to keep going. Only now, her focus wouldn’t be mending her broken heart, but learning how to have a successful relationship with Vehn. This was a second chance for her and she was going to make the most of it.

  “He’s on his way up,” Vehn said.

  “Ok.”

  A mass of butterflies fluttered around in her stomach, like the ones she’d felt at the Halloween party, as they exchanged shy smiles. Sheesh, it seemed so long ago when they had first met.

  The elevator came to a clanging halt, and Callie heard the key slip into the door lock.

  “All right, kiss or something, so I know the two of you worked it out,” Tegan demanded after opening the door.

  “I’m not kissing her in front of you, T. That’s our personal business. Besides, we’ve decided to take our relationship slow. We’re back to dating again.”

  Tegan looked from one to the other, probably trying to determine if they were telling the truth or just playing him. Obviously satisfied with what he saw, he opened the door wider, stepping aside to let them pass.

  Callie glanced up at Tegan before she stepped into the hall and couldn’t help but notice the smudge of lipstick on his lips that just happened to be the exact color of matte pale pink Rayna always wore. Tegan returned her stare with a hard one of his own, obviously oblivious of the tell-tale smudge.

  Vehn brushed past his friend, reaching for Callie’s hand as he came to stand next to her inside the elevator. Vehn pushed the down button not bothering to wait on Tegan.

  “By the way, that’s a nice shade of pink, T,” Vehn remarked just before the elevator began to make its descent.

  Vehn laughed as realization washed over Tegan’s features.

  “Mind your own business, asshole!” Tegan snapped, wiping the back of his hand across his lips.

  “Oh, ok, because that’s obviously what you’ve been doing.”

  Vehn pushed the call button in front of Callie’s condo at exactly five p.m. He hadn’t been this nervous since their first, first date.

  He remembered everything about that day and night. How time seemed to drag by as he impatiently waited for the time to pick her up that afternoon. How she looked once he got there. How she smelled. The way she kept stealing peeks up at him beneath her long lashes when she thought he wasn’t looking. The way her face glowed in the candlelit restaurant. The food she had favored. The way she felt underneath him as he thrust his way inside of her slippery satin tunnel. The way she arched her back in complete abandonment when she came for him.

  OK, throttle back, Casanova!

  Slow meant slow! And he was determined to stick to that plan, no matter how hard… er, difficult it got. He was determined to keep his hands to himself.

  Pushing the call button next to her condo number brought back that horrific memory of the last time he was here, when she'd ignored him. The unwelcome anxiety was replaced with relief when she answered right away.

  “Yes?” Nervous energy had turned his imagination all goofy. As her voice sounded all tinny, he pictured her stuck inside a can of beans.

  “Ma’am, I was wondering if you wanted to buy any Boy Scout popcorn,” Vehn drolled.

  “Come on up,” Callie laughed.

  The click of the entrance door lock disengaging was music to his ears. However, waiting on the sluggish elevator was like waiting for the final votes to be read to see who'd won the million dollars on Survivor, and he didn’t want to appear overly eager and take the stairs, getting there too quickly, although he was anxious to see her again.

  Finally, he reached her door. It seemed like forever ago that he was here last, and that memory of the anguish he'd felt leaning his forehead against the wood, utterly lost, came rushing forward. Forcing the memory away, he shook it off before knocking on her door.

  Callie’s smile widened as she took in his attire, stepping aside for him to enter.

  “Hey, come on in.” Callie’s eyes stayed on him the entire time she shut and relocked the door. She bit down on her bottom lip when he slipped free of his coat, her eyes never leaving him while she carried his coat the short distance to the closet. “Are those pajama bottoms?”

  “Yep. Too over the top? I figured since we were staying in, I’d dress as if I were at home. You don’t mind, do you?” The longer she stared, the more paranoid and the more unsure of his attire he became. “I can go back and change if I’m making you uncomfortable. I just thought it would fun. You know, lighten the mood a little.”

  “No. Absolutely not.” She waved her hand down his front. “As much time as we’ve spent together, I’ve never seen you in pajamas before or your hair done up in that man bun thingy. You just look so adorable! And the Scooby Doo slippers really add to the outfit.”

  “Thanks.” Vehn lifted one of the furry characters, flopping the ears at her. “Tegan hates them.”

  “Well, what does he know anyway?”

  “Yeah, no accounting for tastes. Oh, this is for you,” he said, re
membering the gift bag he was holding. “I brought both red and white wine. I wasn’t sure which wine would go with what we ended up ordering. There’s popcorn in there, too, for the movie later, and the flowers are for… well, just because I saw them and thought of you.”

  “Thanks, that’s really nice of you. So, wild flowers remind you of me?”

  “These did. The red and gold ones reminded me of your gorgeous hair, and the greens, blues, and yellows are like the multi-colored beauty of your hazel eyes.”

  Had he really just spouted off that cheesy line? He had meant every word of it, but saying it out loud just sounded really fucking stupid.

  Her cheeks bloomed a soft shade of pink. He wasn’t quite sure if she was embarrassed for him or if she was blushing because she was flattered. He decided to just leave it alone and pretend for his own pride that she was flattered.

  Callie accepted the bag from him, and he followed close on her heels appreciating the way her hips swayed as she walked into the kitchen to empty the contents of the bag onto the counter. His face exploded with heat when she looked over her shoulder holding up the box of popcorn and was caught ogling her ass.

  Callie cleared her throat before asking, “So, were you ever really a Boy Scout?”

  Was that lust he had just seen in her eyes?

  “Yes. A Cub Scout actually. I never moved on to the Boy Scouts. My mom still has my uniform. I have no doubt she’d want to show you pictures of me in it.”

  That earned him a radiant smile.

  “Well, I would like that. To see pictures of you in your little uniform. That is... if I ever get to meet your mom.”

  “I would like that, too.”

  They stared at each other for what seemed like forever, the sexual tension between them growing thicker by the second. Vehn wanted so desperately to touch her, but he was going to stick to his guns and keep with the slower pace they had both agreed on.