“Yeah,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “She just started living with me a couple months ago. Her mom…her mom needed some time to herself.”
I winced at that. How terrible, to be nine and without your mother.
“Are the two of you divorced?”
John shook his head and I felt like I was going to be ill. Had he really lied to me about being married? He seemed to register the expression on my face because he quickly said, “We were never married. Connie had Lainey when we were very young. She had full custody for the past nine years. But in October, she told me she couldn’t do it anymore, that it was my turn. Then she just took off. Of course, I was happy to have Lainey, but I also had no frigging idea what I was doing.” He laughed humorlessly and ran his hands through his hair again, a habit that I figured kicked in when he was upset.
“Anyhow, I’ve been looking at jobs up here for the past few months. That’s why I was in Alpena in November.”
“Why up here? Why couldn’t she stay with you in Chicago?”
“My parents live here,” he said. “Over on Long Lake. They retired here a couple years ago. I knew there was no way I could handle being a dad all on my own so I decided it might be easier to live closer to some help. I applied all the over place up here and had a few interviews last month—”
“Hang on,” I said, holding up my hands. “You were here interviewing for a job?”
He nodded, looking guilty.
“And you didn’t think you should mention that at the time?” I asked, my voice becoming louder, more shrill, with each word. I couldn’t believe this. “It never occurred to you to mention that you might be moving here? With your daughter?”
“That’s the thing!” he said, looking agitated. “I had no intention of taking this job! I was interviewing in Mackinac and Traverse City, too, and I was sure that one of them would be better. Bigger cities, bigger firms, probably more money. I thought Alpena would be a total waste of time. When I met you…God, Brooke, it was like a miracle, I swear. My last chance for something carefree and…well, something selfish before I became a full time dad. Can you understand that?”
“Oh, I can understand it,” I muttered. “You used me.”
“That’s not fair,” he said. “I told you from the beginning it would just be for the weekend. And you told me all you were interested in was a fling, remember?”
That was true. And, in fact, hadn’t I told Emily on the phone that day that John could be my last shallow encounter before I started thinking about a real boyfriend?
“I shouldn’t have said that you used me,” I conceded. “But I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were interviewing for jobs here.”
“I really, really didn’t think I would take it, Brooke. The firm seemed pretty small, a lot smaller than I was used to. I didn’t think it’d be a good fit. But they surprised me: they had the best offer of the bunch. And out of all the places I interviewed, this is the city closest to my parents. I felt like I had to take it.”
“Why didn’t you call?” I asked, my voice quiet.
John looked uncomfortable again. “I thought about it, I can tell you. But when it came right down to it, I was too embarrassed. I thought it would be easier to tell you in person when I came back. I swear I never intended for her to be here when I told you. I had planned to have her at my parents while I found a place for us to stay. But then my mom got sick and I had to go get Lainey early.”
“What would you have to be embarrassed about?” I asked, stung that he would feel that way. John laughed, sounding bitter.
“I let you think I was some dashing, exciting guy. And the truth is, I now spend my nights watching High School Musical with a nine year old.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s okay if you enjoyed it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Cute,” he said, grinning at me in that mischievous way of his. “Real cute.”
We just looked at each for a moment. I could feel the remnants of our spark warming up. I wondered if he could feel it, too.
“I should probably get upstairs,” he said. “Lainey’s usually pretty good about staying out of trouble, but you never know.”
“Okay,” I said, standing as he did the same. “How long do you think you’ll stay?”
“I’m not sure,” he said. “Like I said, Lainey was supposed to be at my parents until I figured out a place for us. But that plan got all shot to hell.”
“Well,” I said, feeling awkward. “Feel free to stay as long as you need to. We have plenty of room.”
“Thanks,” he said. He was motionless for a long moment, staring at me. The spark seemed to kick into overdrive. “I’m really sorry to spring this on you, Brooke. God knows what you must think of me. But I have to tell you, it’s really, really good to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you, too, John.” I said softly. And it was true; I felt completely overwhelmed and floored by his admission, totally off-kilter and angry with him for springing it on me like this. But in spite of all that, I was still inexplicably happy to see him.
I knew, in that moment, just how much trouble I was in. There was something about John that made me willing to forget that he was a man who had only wanted me for a weekend fling. A man who hadn’t even considered telling me he might be moving to town. A man who was now heading upstairs to his nine-year-old daughter.
A man I had somehow fallen for, completely and without question.
* * *
I stayed in my office for the rest of the afternoon. I was terrified of running into John somewhere in the hotel, and I didn’t think I could handle it. Particularly if his daughter was with him. God, his daughter. I couldn’t believe he had a daughter. I half expected him to come back down and tell me it was all an elaborate prank.
Some prank, I thought to myself. Real funny.
By five o’clock, I could no longer pretend that I didn’t have any responsibilities. Dinner service was about to start, and I needed to check in that all the staff had shown up and no emergencies had befallen us since I took refuge in my office.
As I stepped into the lobby, I saw my dad at reception. He was huddled over the counter with Bonnie and Kellie, their backs to me.
“So she had no idea that he had a daughter?” he asked, his loud whisper carrying easily across the room. I saw Kellie shake her head.
“That’s what Paul told me,” she said. “Apparently they were hooking up the whole time he was here last, and he never told her.”
“Wow,” my dad said, clearly impressed by this tidbit of gossip.
“I couldn’t believe it when Kellie told me who he was,” Bonnie said. “When he checked in with that little girl, I thought he was so sweet, I had no idea that he’d been messing around with Brooke.”
“Do you think she still has feelings for him?” my dad asked, not even bothering to hide his excitement at the prospect of such drama in his own inn.
“I’m sure she does,” Kellie said confidently. “You should have seen her face when that little girl came in.”
Okay, I’d had about enough of this. I cleared my throat loudly, and the three of them all turned. It was almost worth hearing their gossip to see the looks on their faces, but not quite.
“Don’t you have work to do?” I asked, my voice cold. Kellie gave me one last terrified glance before she ran off in the direction of the restaurant. Bonnie made herself busy at the desk, leaving just my dad, who was looking at me like the little kid who’d just been caught stealing from the cookie jar.
“Nice, Dad,” I hissed as I walked by him. “Real nice.”
“I’m sorry, Brookie,” he said, hurrying after me. “I really am. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Oh, give me a break,” I muttered, glaring at him. “That had nothing to do with fatherly concern. That was a gossip session, and we both know it.”
“You’re right,” he said, hanging his head. “I’m sorry.”
“Can you
please restrict your gossip to people who don’t work here? God, Dad, I’m supposed to be their boss.”
“You’re right, you’re right,” he said again, patting my arm. I sighed. It was hard to stay mad at him. “So,” he said casually, “how are you doing? You feeling okay?” I caught the little gleam in his eyes and knew he was fishing for more information, probably so he could breathlessly relate it to the girls later.
“I give up,” I muttered. “Talk to you later, Dad.”
I turned and headed into the dining room, making a beeline straight for the bar. I needed a drink, badly, and I didn’t even care if John was in there eating…with his daughter.
“Hey,” Paul said, giving me a sympathetic smile as I plopped onto a barstool. “How you holding up?”
“I take it you know,” I sighed. “Does everyone know?”
“Pretty much,” he said. “Between Kellie and your dad, it didn’t take long for the news to spread.”
“Great,” I said. “He’s not in here, is he?”
“Naw, you’re safe.” Paul set a glass in front of me and poured out some Jack Daniels. I looked at him gratefully.
“You’re the best, Paul Harting.”
“I’ll toast to that,” he said, clinking his beer bottle against my glass. He put his elbows on the counter, leaning down so his face was closer to mine. “So, really. How you holding up?”
“Oh, I’m fine,” I said, waving my hands in what I hoped was a dismissive way. “Little shocked I guess.”
Paul shook his head. “So you didn’t know, then?”
“Nope. No idea.”
“I figured as much,” he said, adding a bit more Jack to my glass. “When I saw him check in, I thought you were in for a pretty big surprise.”
“You knew,” I said, suddenly remembering him looking at me when I came back from my break, the unreadable expression on his face. Maybe it had been pity.
“Yeah. I thought about coming over to tell you. I didn’t want you to hear it from someone who was clueless about the two of you.”
“Thanks, Paul.” I took a big swig of my whiskey, relishing the burn as it slipped down my throat. “God, I feel so stupid.”
“Why would you feel stupid?”
“I was so moony over him. You have no idea. I was acting like some dumb teenager in love. And all along, he was just looking for a break from his responsibilities.”
“I don’t think that’s all you were to him.”
“Yeah, right. We were clearly on very different pages.”
“Brooke, if you didn’t mean anything to him, I really doubt he would have ended up back here.”
“Didn’t you hear? He got a job here, he’s moving—”
“No, I don’t mean here as in Alpena. I mean this inn. There are other hotels in town, Brooke. He could have stayed anywhere else. Probably would have been a lot less awkward, for him to be able to tell you about the kid in his own time.”
I thought about that. I hated to get my hopes up, hated to let myself think that I might have mattered as much to him as he did to me. “Maybe,” I finally said. “Or maybe he was just too lazy to find a new place.”
Paul took a long pull of his beer. When he turned his attention back to me, his face looked pained. “You were crazy about him, weren’t you?”
I looked down at my drink, suddenly feeling like I wanted to cry. “Yeah,” I said, my voice hoarse. “I was. I know it’s stupid, I know it was only a few days, but…I fell for him.”
“I could tell.” He gave me a rueful smile. “I’ve known you a long time, Brooke. And I’ve never seen you look at a guy the way you looked at him.”
I tried to swallow over the huge lump in my throat. “Yeah, well. Look where that got me. It took me nearly twenty-seven years to actually feel something for a guy, and he ends up completely unavailable.”
“Unrequited love sucks, doesn’t it?” My eyes shot to his face. He was smiling, but I wasn’t entirely sure he was joking. My heart clenched for him. We were quiet for a moment, enjoying our drinks while the dining room slowly filled up around us. “Can I tell you something?” he finally asked.
“Of course.”
“I don’t know much about this John guy. But if he was actually lucky enough to deserve you, he’d be a fool to let you go. I mean it. There aren’t other girls like you, Brooke Murray. You’re top of the line—and I hope you know that.”
“Thanks, Paul.” I was embarrassed to find tears filling my eyes—I never cried. But somehow Paul’s words had been exactly what I needed to hear right then. He didn’t make a big deal about it, just patted my hand and went over to dry some glasses, leaving me alone with my drink.
Chapter Fifteen
I didn’t run into John again until the following morning. I was beginning to wonder if he planned to hide out in his room for the length of his stay when I saw him come downstairs with Lainey and head into the dining room. I was working at the reception desk at the time, and I couldn’t help but stare as he passed by, his daughter’s hand held tightly in his own.
Five minutes later he was back again, his eyes scanning the lobby as he stood in the doorway. He caught sight of me standing at reception and made his way across the room to me. “I was hoping you’d be here,” he said. “Lainey is in the dining room, I thought we could talk for a minute.”
“You can’t talk to me in front of her?” I asked. I knew that I sounded snappy, but I couldn’t help it. I had stayed at the inn much later than usual the night before, expecting him to come down and find me at some point. When he never did, I finally went home, feeling bitter and completely exhausted by the events of the day.
John ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to confuse her, Brooke. She’s been through a lot the last few months.”
“Sorry,” I said, looking down at my hands. I could at least act like an adult. “So, what’s up?”
“I just wanted to see how you were doing,” he said, leaning over a bit to try to see my down-turned face. “I know I gave you a pretty big surprise yesterday. I feel really bad about it.”
I looked up at him and shrugged. “I can’t say it wasn’t a shock. But I know we didn’t have…that we weren’t serious. It was a fling. You don’t owe me anything.”
His face seemed to tighten at my words. “I should have called you as soon as I decided to take the job,” he said softly. “When I came back up at the beginning of the week I stopped by, I figured I could tell you then, but you weren’t here.”
I held up my hands. “Seriously, John. You don’t have to explain. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” he said, reaching across the counter to grab my hand. “I know I screwed up. I hate knowing what you must be thinking of me right now.”
Something about the expression on his face made me soften. He seemed genuinely upset, like he really was worried that I might be thinking badly of him. I managed a smile. “We’re okay, John. I promise.”
He smiled back—a breathtaking, relieved smile that made my stomach feel fluttery. Without thinking, I squeezed his hand tighter in my own. I wanted to tell him how great it was to see him, how happy I was that he was here. Before I could say any of those things, Lainey appeared at his side.
“Dad?”
John tore his hand away from mine, an almost panicked expression on his face. “Hey, Lainey-bird. I thought you were figuring out what to order?”
“I did already,” she said, eyeing me with a look that could only be described as suspicious. “You’ve been taking forever. And now I have to go and I don’t even know where the bathroom is.”
“Sorry, honey,” he said, shooting me a nervous glance. “Um, you remember the nice lady who works at the hotel, right? I was just talking to her about our bill. She can tell you where to find the bathroom.”
“It’s right through there,” I said, pointing to a hall on the other side of the lobby. I tried hard to keep the sting out of my voice. I got that John wasn’t comfortable introducing his former f
ling to his daughter, but did he have to act quite so ashamed of me?
After Lainey left, John turned back to me. “Sorry about that.”
“You know,” I said, trying to keep my voice from betraying my hurt. “If you’re so embarrassed of what happened between us, maybe this isn’t the best hotel for you guys to stay in. I can recommend another nice place if you think you’ll be more comfortable.”
John looked stricken. “No, Brooke. I’m not ashamed of us, I promise. I just…Lainey’s never seen me with a woman before. She’s had so much to deal with this year, I don’t want her to be confused, you know?”
I nodded. “Of course I understand that,” I said. “But if you’re uncomfortable here, I won’t be offended. Just say the word.”
“I’m not,” he said, reaching for my hand, which I deftly moved below the counter. As much as I may have yearned for the contact, I knew better than to open myself up to the inevitable rejection I would get when his daughter came out of the bathroom. “Brooke,” he said, leaning down again so he could look me right in the eye. “I really want to be here, okay? I may not be able to be as open as I’d like right now, but I would much rather be where I get to see you. Is that okay with you?”
I knew I should run as fast as I could in the other direction. That I should tell him no, it wasn’t okay, and encourage him to find another hotel. I obviously felt more for him than he did for me, and that imbalance was a recipe for certain heartache. I needed to put the brakes on this thing, and fast, before I ended up hurt again.
Instead I found myself smiling at him. “Of course, John,” I said, “Of course it’s okay with me.”
Chapter Sixteen
John had only been back at the inn for four days when I ended up back in his bed.
I had promised myself I wouldn’t get carried away with him again, and I was determined to stick to that—even after I ran into him in the bar on his third night as he got a drink to bring back up to his room. His mother had gotten over her stomach bug and had promptly offered to take Lainey again so he could look for houses over the weekend.
An Unexpected Love Story (Love Story Book Two) Page 10