Tomorrow Brings Sorrow

by Mary Wood

  ‘Rita said that – and she reckons as that’s when I were born.’

  ‘Yes, it’s possible, but then later she went off to war and it’s said as she were a heroine – even suffered capture by the Germans. But what’s puzzling me is . . . Good God! Your dad must be—’

  ‘Yes, the same dad as Harriet has. Rita told me that she witnessed him raping Theresa.’

  ‘Well! You’ve took me stuffing out of me. So you are Harriet’s half-sister. Eeh, you’ll set something in motion with this, and here we were thinking as our lives had settled down.’

  ‘I – I’m sorry. Only I have no one to turn to. I don’t want to cause an upset.’

  ‘Naw, lass. This isn’t going to be easy, but no one will reject you.’

  ‘Have I just got the one sister?’

  ‘Aye. There are two lads, but they ain’t related to you, only to Harriet through them all having the same mam. But you have a great-gran – your dad’s gran, Bridget, is still alive. Eeh, lass, your dad has a lot to answer for, more than you know, but it ain’t none of it your fault. Tell me, lass, where were you brought up? What kind of a life have you had?’

  ‘I had various homes, from up in Glasgow to down in London, but it weren’t too bad. The nuns in the convent were kindly, but it’s just this feeling as no one wants you.’

  ‘I know, lass. I were the same, and I never did find me family. At least you’ve got a bit of a chance now. There’s no need for you to end up like I did. Look, the best thing I can do is take you home with me. I’ll not let you go back to that Rita. Have you a home or sommat as you have to pack up?’

  ‘No, I live in a hostel-type place. I just have me clothes.’

  ‘Patsy, I can’t say as how all of this will turn out, but I can say as I’m your friend from now on, lass. There’s folk as will be hurt by you turning up, as it will dig up stuff they’re trying to forget and will pile betrayal of another kind on top of what they have already dealt with, but—’

  ‘They’ll hate me, won’t they?’

  ‘Naw, these folk don’t know how to hate. It’ll just be strange, that’s all.’

  ‘I don’t know how to act with family. I ain’t never had any.’

  ‘Aye, I know. I’ll tell you me story one of these days. It ain’t a lot different from your own. Look, let’s get you home with me. Me man’ll know what to do. We’ll probably go and see this Rita, and find out where your mam lives and get your stuff from your place. At the moment I imagine your mam and the rest of your family are trying to cope with the death of Terence Crompton – your uncle – so we’d best leave it for a while.’

  ‘The rest of me family? I thought you said I had none, except Harriet and me great-granny.’

  ‘Well, that is about it, by my reckoning, as with them Cromptons not wanting you when you were born, it’s unlikely they will want you now. Anyroad, on the side of your family, other than your mam, there’s Lady Crompton – your grandmother. Then there’s a boy and twin girls as are your cousins, that I know of. There could be other family as I know nothing of; bound to be. They’re top-drawer folk and I don’t mix in their circles. Me man Arthur were top-drawer, but he gave it all up for the love of me, but he’ll know more about them. By, lass, I don’t know how all of this is going to pan out. But come on; let’s make a start on it by getting you back to my house, eh?’

  On the way home Hattie felt as though she’d batted or answered a million questions. All of it beggared belief, and she felt out of control of her situation for the first time in a long while. Her heart went out to the girl, and just meeting Patsy brought back painful memories to her. How was she going to tell Sarah? And what about Harriet? God, Harriet had her life sorted – university, then medical school. How would all of this affect her?

  ‘Were me dad a monster, Hattie?’

  She had avoided umpteen different ways of asking such questions, but this one was too direct to dodge. ‘I’d say he were, in a way. But only because his mind were that twisted, it made him so – he weren’t human, not in the way we are. He seemed incapable of having feelings for anyone, unless it was hate, or unless it were for Sarah – Harriet’s mam. His mind was like it were two halves, and the evil half won. I’m sorry, lass, but I can only tell you the truth. Harriet doesn’t know it all – she’s been told as he suffered mental illness, which of course is true. And that at times he went out of himself, which again is true. We’ve spared her, and will spare you, the worst of what went on. You have no need to know. Neither you nor Harriet are like him. He was different in all sorts of ways that you’re not. You appear to me to be a nice young lady, who is understandably bitter about stuff. I were, and so were Megan – she were Billy’s mam . . .’

  And so they talked on and on, until Hattie was glad when they finally pulled into the drive of her house. ‘Now, lass. Me daughter . . . well, me adopted daughter – see, we’re a mixed-up bunch, so you’ll fit in well.’ Patsy smiled at this and it brought relief to Hattie. She’d thought the girl was without humour and would be very difficult to win round. ‘Anyroad, her and her husband are staying with us, so I think it best I go in and tell them about you, then come out and fetch you in. Is that all right by you? Otherwise it’s going to be such a shock and they’ll all ask questions at once, and you won’t know if you’re on your head or your tail!’ Another smile. ‘Oh, there’s sommat else: me husband, Arthur, and Sally’s husband, Mark . . . well, they both suffered injuries. Arthur got his in the First World War, and Mark were blown up in the last lot. So they’re both scarred and not pleasant to look on, till you get used to them; and besides that, Mark is blind.’

  ‘Oh, poor things. But don’t worry, it won’t bother me. I’m sorry it happened to them, though. But I won’t say anything. I’ll just act normal.’

  ‘You’re a nice lass, Patsy. Now don’t worry; everything will turn out. Like I say, I’m your friend now, and I never let me friends down, so I’ll be by your side whatever you decide to do, or whoever you take on and confront.’

  ‘Thanks, Hattie.’

  ‘No, tears, now. I’ll not be five minutes.’

  49

  Sarah

  From Beyond the Grave

  Sarah looked out of the window. There were things she would miss about Market Harborough. The lovely view from this window, for one. And she was aware how difficult leaving was really going to be for Bridget. She had spent most of her very happy marriage to Edward here. They’d brought their two boys into the world and raised them here. And though she said she hankered for the north, she was a young lass in her teens when she left there.

  The phone ringing interrupted her thoughts. What was it about telephones? Somehow you always knew when it was going to be bad news, and this feeling came over her as she crossed from the front room to the hall.

  Even Hattie’s voice, as she said hello, set alarm bells ringing.

  ‘What’s wrong, Hattie? Is everyone all right?’

  ‘Aye, they are, but I have news, and you’re not going to like it, love, but . . .’

  Sarah stared at the phone. Pictures came into her head of her wedding day, and of Billy talking to Miss Theresa. But surely not – not then, no, but . . . Oh God, the next day, when he was missing for ages.

  ‘Sarah, are you all right? Look, love, you don’t have to meet her. None of us wants you hurt. Not even Patsy, who’s never met you. She understands, now we’ve told her everything that happened, but she wants to meet Harriet. What do you think?’

  ‘I’ll tell her. It – it’ll be up to her. I can’t keep from her that she has a sister. But if she wants to meet this Patsy, then I will too. And, well . . . I – I don’t know. It shouldn’t be affecting me, but it is. It’s like the last slap in the face, like Billy’s reaching me from the grave. I can hear him laughing. Oh God!’

  ‘Oh, Sarah, lass. I’m sorry.’

  ‘It’s not your fault, Aunt Hattie. I’d not expect any less of you. No one knows more than you how the girl feels. And none of it’s her fa
ult, either. It’s just that I feel like Billy’s won. With one last thing he saved to hit me with, and I can’t do anything about it.’

  ‘Try not to think of it like that, Sarah. Billy couldn’t have known about Patsy. Rita told her it were rape, so Theresa didn’t have any choice in it.’

  ‘I don’t believe that. I – I saw something between them at me own wedding. I didn’t register it then, but it’s very clear now. There were always rumours about Theresa; things you’d not think on as true. But why, when Patsy came back to confront him, did it tip Terence Crompton over to suicide? I would never think of him as a man who would take his own life. He had everything: wealth, power, a lovely family. He must have thought Patsy’s appearance would mean his past would come and smack him in the face and ruin what he’d got. Especially as it was Rita who’d set it all up. It all makes you think Crompton were behind the fire.’

  ‘Aye, it seems likely. But like you said, though it hurts and is a lot for you to take on, none of it is Patsy’s fault. It seems Rita used her. Oh, Patsy admits she wanted some revenge for her family having given her away, but I can understand that. Me own thoughts have gone down that line many a time towards me own, who did it to me, and it’s the reason I never sought them out. Rejection hurts. The only thing I hang onto is how Bridget said as me mam wanted me. Patsy ain’t even got that, but once she realized the extent of everything and what happened as a result, she’s been almost inconsolable.’

  ‘But what if Harriet rejects her? What then?’

  ‘I don’t know. I’ll have to find a way round everything, as I can’t just say, “Well, that’s it, lass, sling your hook.” I’m going to have to keep Patsy in me life and take care of her. After all, she’s Megan’s granddaughter, and that makes her bound to me as if she were me own. I’m sorry, lass. I hope you understand that.’

  ‘Of course I do. And I wouldn’t have it any different. It’s what makes you the person you are: someone who is loyal and loving and . . . Eeh, Aunt Hattie.’

  ‘I know, lass. And I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have had owt disturb the happiness and peace of mind you’ve found. Talk it over with Bridget – see how she feels. Patsy is her great-granddaughter, thou knows.’

  ‘Oh God, of course. It just gets worse.’

  ‘It needn’t. Give yourself a little time. I know you, Sarah. I know as you’ll come to terms with it all. Richard’ll help you. Patsy’s willing to give you time. She understands.’

  Understands? How could anyone understand? Sarah couldn’t even understand her own feelings. Billy was nothing to her now; nothing but a vile memory and a source of pain whenever she thought of him. But this – it was like being asked to accept something from him back into her life. She’d never thought of Harriet as a part of Billy. Richard had helped with that – he’d been Harriet’s father right from her being in her womb, and he’d sealed that the moment she was born. But this made her face that relationship for what it really was, and she’d never done that before. It made her think differently about who Harriet was, and she didn’t want that. Oh God, she didn’t want that!

  ‘What is it, lass? I don’t want to intrude, but I can see that phone call has upset you.’

  ‘Oh, Bridget, it has. It was Hattie. And I don’t know what all she has told me will do to you – and more so, to me little Harriet. And her just starting out on her new life an’ all.’

  ‘Me and Harriet? What’s happened? What can affect us?’

  ‘Eeh, Bridget.’

  Bridget was quiet for what seemed like an age, after Sarah told her all that Hattie had revealed. Emotions of all kinds washed over Sarah while she waited: hate, pity and love. Love for this woman who’d been through so much as a young girl, and for all them years when Bridget couldn’t find her child; then having to face the brutal murder of that child by her own grandson; and the loss of her soulmate, with Edward dying; and now this. For this Patsy didn’t represent to them what she did to Hattie. It was easy for Hattie to see the girl from the perspective of her not being wanted by her family and having been brought up by nuns; but to them it was as if Patsy was bringing all the evil back into their lives.

  ‘I don’t know how we’re going to do it, Sarah, but somehow we’ve to be bigger than this. We’ve to beat the evil by not letting it win. If I reject my great-granddaughter, I’ll be no better than him as gave her life. Hattie’s right. None of this is Patsy’s fault; and, like Harriet, she came from me daughter. Me lovely Megan was her grandmother. So she’ll have her goodness in her. Oh, I know Billy’s strongly in the equation, but well . . .’

  ‘I know. We have to remember that Billy was mentally unstable. Others can look at what he did and analyse it and come up with reasons. Maybe that’s what we have to do. If we’re ever to get any real and lasting peace, we have to think of Billy’s evil self as being something he couldn’t control, and that was the side of him that did all the terrible things.’

  ‘He was possessed. But Harriet isn’t, and from what you tell me Hattie has said about Patsy, she isn’t, either. Her understanding and feeling no bitterness towards us shows that. Her willingness to give us time shows it. And her shock and horror at what her phone call to Terence Crompton caused shows it.’

  ‘Are you wanting to have her in your life, Bridget? Are you saying we should let her be in Harriet’s?’

  ‘Aye, I am. Of course Harriet has to make her own mind up, but at the end of the day I’ve been given a gift. A great-granddaughter – and if she’s anything like me first, who they say she looks like, then she’ll enrich my life.’

  ‘Then I can do it an’ all. Given a little time, I can.’

  ‘When will you tell Harriet?’

  ‘I don’t know. I think I’ll leave it until after her holiday. She’s so looking forward to it. Me dad’s told her such a lot about Switzerland and the beauty of the journey there, since Harriet told him that her friend’s family had invited her. And I think relating what he saw when he went there with Megan, to forgive that Laura Harvey, has helped him to quiet some of the guilt he held over all that happened.’

  ‘Aye, Jack seems a lot better these days. I was talking to him for ages on the phone the other day. And though it hurt when he married Dorothy, I realize she has done wonders for him.’

  ‘You didn’t say owt about it hurting you, and you certainly didn’t show it. It hurt me a bit an’ all. It were like he’d shoved me mam even further back when he took a third wife, but I came to understand. He’s one of them men as can’t be on his own. He’ll always need a woman by him. Someone of his own, who he can lean on and have love him. Like you – and us all – he’s been through a lot.’

  ‘I know. And I now know the loneliness you can feel, even with everyone around you, after you lose that special someone – the one you can share anything and everything with.’

  ‘I can only imagine. Look, I’ll make us a pot of tea and then we’ll chat some more. Try to come to terms with a few things, because we’ll need to, before we share it with the others.’

  ‘I’d like to go up and meet the girl while Harriet is away.’

  ‘Oh? Well, if you must. I think I’ll wait till I see if Harriet is of a mind to, before I do. I don’t want to make me mind up about her, one way or the other, until then.’

  ‘I’ll ring Hattie and see if I can come and stay. It’ll get me from under your feet while you get everything ready for the move. There’s only three weeks to go now. I’ve packed everything I’m not using, and I will take what I can to Hattie’s with me.’

  As Sarah went through to the kitchen, she marvelled at how Bridget had taken it all and at her eagerness to embrace this new blot on their lives. Because that’s what Patsy was: a blot. Something she’d hoped wouldn’t happen to them again. Something that had thrown a shadow over their happiness. At this moment she couldn’t see a time when she’d accept the lass. A bastard of Billy’s? No, that was the last thing she needed in her life.

  50

  Harriet

  Joini
ng the Threads

  Harriet stared, her eyes wide with shock. ‘A – a sister! How do you know she’s telling the truth? She could be anybody. I – I mean—’

  ‘Like I say, Aunt Hattie said Patsy is your double. She thought it was you, and even after the girl put her right, she couldn’t believe her eyes. And besides that, your dad were seen with the woman who gave birth to Patsy. He were caught in the act.’

  ‘I can’t take it in. Do you think that was the reason my dad killed himself?’

  Sarah couldn’t answer. They’d told Harriet that Billy had taken his own life, and suspected she’d guessed there was more. With each passing year she’d asked more questions. Questions like ‘So, me granny died of shock on the same day?’ and ‘They couldn’t be buried together because taking your own life means you’re a sinner and can’t be buried in consecrated ground?’ And on and on. Perhaps now was the time to tell her the truth.

  Looking over at Richard, Sarah saw him nod. He understood and agreed. When he spoke, he gave her a lead. ‘Harriet, darling, we haven’t told you the whole story. We wanted to protect you. Now you are grown-up, it is right that we should tell you exactly what happened.’

  ‘You mean there’s more? I have a sister I didn’t know existed, and now there’s more to learn?’

  ‘Yes, dear, there is.’

  Sarah took a deep breath. She had to do this without bitterness and hate, but with compassion – compassion for her beloved daughter and in memory of Megan, because Megan deserved no less of her. She’d loved her son despite everything, and to taint his memory would be to taint hers.

  ‘Your dad were two people. One were like you and his mam and Granny Bridget. Loving and kind, and everything you’d want and need in a dad. But he had an illness that split his personality . . .’

  ‘Schizophrenia. You will learn about it in your studies.’

  Richard brought some normality to what they had to reveal by taking Harriet through what the medical profession knew of the illness. It wasn’t his field, but because of what Billy did to his mother, Richard’s beloved half-sister Megan, Richard had studied the condition in depth to help to give him some understanding. He’d tried to talk about it to Sarah over the years, but she’d preferred just to close her mind. Now she was forced to listen.