Piano Lessons

by Gail Sattler

  “At least I don’t have to kiss her.”

  Jed cringed. Obviously, Liz had not spoken to him like he’d hoped. He wanted to have another little talk with Mark about this kissing business, but this was not the opening he had planned.

  “Then who would you want to kiss?”

  Mark tilted his head, as if it would help him think better. “Well, Dad thinks that in a couple of years I might want to kiss Kimmy Albertson, but then Mom poked him and said for him not to give me any ideas.”

  “Do you like Kimmy?”

  “Yeah, she’s cool. She burps even better than Rodney.”

  Jed smiled. Nothing like true love. “Pretty cool for a girl, huh?”

  “Yeah, for a girl.”

  “Come on, let’s get you out the door on time.”

  Once Mark left for school, Jed stretched and decided to make a pot of coffee. He was going to need at least that to get him through the morning.

  After sufficient coffee consumption, he helped Betsy tie her shoes as they prepared to go to the mall. Betsy could barely sit still, anticipating buying some new doll she had seen on television, which he hoped was not too expensive. He had a feeling this was going to be a costly trip.

  “Got your seat belt on, Pumpkin? Let’s go.”

  Betsy chattered all the way to the mall, going on and on about that doll. By the time they arrived, Jed was sick of hearing about it. He allowed her to pull him all the way to the toy department, skipping. Jed refused to skip, no matter how great this doll promised to be. Fortunately, the doll was not overpriced, so Jed bought it for her as a treat. He picked out a small model for Mark to be fair to both kids.

  “Come on, Pumpkin, now it’s time to buy what Uncle Jed came for. Want to help me pick the right color?”

  “Yes! That’ll be fun!”

  “Hurry up, it’s almost time to go back and get you to school. Want a hamburger for lunch?”

  “Do I get the kids meal with the toy?”

  ❧

  Jillian looked at the clock. She could almost hear Jed saying “Yup, time for me to go get Betsy”—except it was the wrong day.

  How he got enough sleep to keep going was beyond her. Jillian couldn’t survive on so little sleep from day to day, week after week. And yet, Jed had committed himself to this routine until next September, until he went to college, an entire year.

  When Jed said he would do something, it was considered done. She envied his family. His commitment to them was not only commendable but done with such a spirit of love that Jillian was almost jealous of his sister.

  Jed appeared happy and settled in his arrangement. She had met Liz once briefly when Mark started lessons a few years ago, and although Jed mentioned they were very much alike, she couldn’t remember Liz. Jillian tried to imagine a feminine image of Jed but couldn’t. As she stared off into space, she pictured Jed, his dazzling smile, his brilliant blue eyes, and his unruly brown hair, a lock of it constantly hanging in his face. Even without him there, she had to suppress an urge to push it back into place.

  “Hi, Miss Jefferson. I practiced everything extra hard this week. Which one do you want to hear first?”

  Jillian blinked, then tried to discreetly check the clock before focusing on her incoming student. She had to get her images of Jed out of her mind and get down to business.

  “Good afternoon, Sheila. Pick whichever one you want first. Come and sit down and we’ll get started.”

  ❧

  As the last student of the day left, Jillian locked the door, leaned her forehead into the back of the door, and yawned. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so tired.

  With the events of yesterday, and then her very, very late night after Jed left, she felt ready to drop. She barely found the energy to make herself a peanut butter sandwich for dinner, spending the balance of the evening on autopilot before she crawled into bed.

  Sometime in the middle of the night, she half woke to listen for a few seconds to what sounded like the low rumble of Jed’s truck. Through the fog of interrupted sleep, she tried to work up the energy to peek out the window, but the sound faded and disappeared. She rolled over and went back to sleep and dreamed of Jed and sitting on the swing.

  Sunlight was pouring in the window by the time Jillian awoke. After she dressed, Jillian put on a pot of coffee and stepped outside to retrieve the mail and newspaper. As she wrenched the paper out of the slot, a volume of flyers tumbled down around her feet. Grumbling about the volume of after-Christmas sale flyers, she bent to gather them. Sorting them with one hand, she reached up to the mailbox without looking.

  Her hand jerked back when she came in contact with something fuzzy in the mailbox. A pair of bunny faces stared back at her. She pulled them out, but they weren’t stuffed toys; they were slippers. She found a note attached.

  Instructions—place one on each foot and position carefully on a solid coffee table. Improper usage voids warranty.

  Love, Jed

  Jillian stood on the doorstep, staring at the large blue faces, complete with big wide eyes, pink noses, and floppy ears. Bunny slippers? They looked ridiculous in her hand. Jillian couldn’t begin to imagine how ludicrous they would look on her feet.

  Jillian read the note again. Was this Jed’s way of trying to cheer her up? She held the slippers at arm’s length, and the utter silliness of the faces got the best of her, forcing her to grin. At the sound of a car going by, Jillian realized that she was still outside. Quick as a bunny, she backed up into the house and shut the door.

  She stared at the note again, and her grin faded. Love, Jed? Did he sign all his little notes this way, or was the situation with him spiraling even more out of control? She hugged the slippers and walked into the kitchen. They were too cute to scuff along the floor.

  Jillian placed them on the counter beside the coffeemaker, continuing to stare at them as she poured her coffee. The bunnies stared back.

  She’d never seen anything so preposterous in her life. Bunny slippers. While she was sure, knowing Jed, he had meant to cheer her up, she couldn’t imagine anyone giving her such an odd gift. In the past, when anyone, especially a man, gave her a gift it had always been something expensive, fancy, ultrafeminine, and with strings attached.

  She dropped the bunny slippers on the floor, then slipped her feet into them. She shook her head, and shuffled over to the couch and as instructed, lifted her feet and rested them on the coffee table. The bunnies looked back at her, just like Jed said they would. They were absurd. Definitely undignified. And warm and fuzzy. And comfortable. Jillian wiggled her toes inside them and leaned back on the couch. She loved them.

  Without getting up, she leaned over to the phone on the end table and dialed Jed’s number.

  A little girl answered. “Hello?”

  “Hello, Betsy. Can I speak to Uncle Jed?”

  “How did you know my name? Who is this?”

  Jillian smiled at Betsy’s plight, amused to be getting the third degree from a little girl. “This is Miss Jefferson, the piano teacher. Your Uncle Jed told me your name. May I speak with him, please?”

  “No, you can’t.”

  Jillian’s smile dropped at the thought of being screened without knowing why. “Why can’t I speak to him, Betsy?”

  “ ’Cause he’s having a shower. Wait. The water stopped.” The phone crashed with a loud bang in Jillian’s ear and Betsy screamed for Jed in the background. She listened to a series of loud thumps, as Betsy screamed to Jed that she had to tell him something.

  Jillian’s own face heated up and she considered hanging up rather than listen, when she heard Jed’s voice in the distance. He gently admonished Betsy for calling him out of the shower unless it was an emergency. Jillian strained her ears to hear Betsy telling Jed it was the piano lady, who was still on the phone, waiting. Silence hung in the air.

  “Hi, Jillian.” Jed’s embarrassment radiated over the phone. Jillian struggled to remember why she called in the first place.
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br />   Jillian looked down her legs at the bunnies, still resting on the coffee table, and wiggled them. “Thanks for the bunnies, Jed. They’re adorable. This was so sweet. I don’t know what to say.”

  He laughed in response. “You’re welcome. Enjoy them. You’ll have to model them for me.”

  “Anytime you want. But I should let you go. You’re probably leaving a puddle on the rug.”

  Jed remained silent for a few seconds. “Oh, yeah. Kids, no tact. You busy this afternoon?”

  “Uh, no, why do you ask?”

  “How about modeling those slippers for me and then we could decide from there?”

  “Well, I don’t know.”

  “Come on, Jillian, I’ve got to see those slippers on you.”

  Jillian wiggled her feet, which were still on the coffee table, causing the bunny ears to flop. She grinned. “I guess so. Bye, Jed.”

  “Bye, Jillian.”

  Jillian smiled as she hung up the phone and wiggled her bunnies once again.

  ten

  Jillian answered the door, proudly wearing her new slippers. In response, Jed laughed when she pointedly looked down and wiggled her feet.

  She looked up at him. “Here’s Flopsy and Mopsy, but where’s Cottontail and Peter?”

  His wide smile nearly caused her to melt into a little puddle. “You have to model them on the coffee table, or remember, you void the warranty.”

  She couldn’t imagine doing anything so horrible as to void the warranty. Jed stood before her with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting, but his playful smirk gave him away. After all his efforts to sneak them into her mailbox, she couldn’t disappoint him.

  Jillian led Jed through the house to the den, where she plopped herself down on the couch, leaned her head back, and carefully placed her feet, complete with bunnies, on the coffee table.

  “There. Satisfied?”

  “Satisfied. Let’s go.” Jed stood.

  “Go?”

  “I’m starving. Let’s go grab some lunch. My treat.”

  Jillian stood, watching Jed as he started to walk to the front door. “But you didn’t even give me a chance to properly thank you for the slippers.”

  “It’s no big deal. You said thanks over the phone.” Jed turned around completely to face her, resting both hands on his stomach. “Come on, I’m famished. Or do you want to wear those silly things out in public?”

  Jillian’s bunnied feet refused to move. That was it? He didn’t expect anything in return for his gift? Not even a kiss? A choking feeling gripped her throat. No one had ever given her anything and not expected something in return. No one. She tried to fight the tears welling up in her eyes and failed.

  “Jillian, what’s wrong? Are you crying?” Jed stood before her in the blink of an eye. With one hand resting gently on her shoulder, he tenderly wiped a lone tear with the back of his finger as it slid down her cheek.

  His gentle touch was her undoing. Her lower lip started to quiver and her eyes burned. Jillian buried her face in his chest, threw her arms around him, and let herself lose control. His arms tightened around her, making her sob harder.

  Jed tightened his grip and stared down at the top of Jillian’s head, completely at a loss to figure out what he’d said or done. They were only slippers, and they’d cost him less than an hour’s wage. In fact, he thought he was being funny by slipping them into her mailbox in the middle of the night, only Jillian wasn’t laughing. But she had been earlier. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. The stupid slippers were meant to cheer her up, but apparently they’d had the opposite effect.

  A warm spot seeped through his shirt, wet from her tears. Jillian’s whole body shook as she continued to cry uncontrollably. Her muffled voice vibrated against his chest. “I’m so sorry, Jed. I feel like such a fool.” Her hands released their grip around him, then she grabbed a handful of the front of his shirt and pressed her face into him again.

  Unable to figure out what to say or do, Jed kept one arm around her back, and stroked her hair with the other. “Want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head, still pressing her face against his shirt. “No, it’s not important.” Her whole body trembled as a new wet spot formed from yet another burst of tears.

  “Jillian, if it upsets you this badly, I think it is important. Come on, you can tell me.” Actually, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know, because if it was this bad, he didn’t know if he could deal with it, and he seriously doubted he could possibly be of any help. He took advantage of her inability to speak to pray for guidance and especially for wisdom. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

  Jillian sniffled and drew in a shuddering breath. Jed cringed as she readied herself to speak.

  “This is the first time someone has ever given me a gift and not expected anything in return.”

  Her voice had been so soft and muffled that Jed barely heard what she said, but he had a nagging suspicion there was more to it than that. Gently, he continued to stroke her hair, waiting for her to continue.

  “My parents split up when I was a kid. My mother’s new husband and family always came first, and she didn’t want us living with them, so Sue and I lived with our dad. Mother didn’t visit often, but whenever Roger forced her to come, she always brought an outrageously expensive gift or a wonderful toy. She taunted me, usually in front of Roger’s kids, to make me want whatever she brought real bad, and then she wouldn’t give it to me until I gave her a big kiss and said ‘I love you.’ Then she’d gloat, her duty done, and we wouldn’t see her for months.”

  Jed stroked her hair. “What about your dad? Didn’t he do anything about that?”

  “My father didn’t want kids underfoot either. He was always so busy or out with different women, we hardly ever saw him, either. Sue and I were passed from sitter to sitter, and nanny to nanny. He gave us every toy imaginable just so we’d go away and leave him alone. I didn’t want a room full of useless toys. I wanted my dad.”

  Jillian stopped to sniffle, then continued in a voice so soft he barely heard what she said. “The other kids were so jealous they wouldn’t play with me, except when I got another new toy. I had to be satisfied with my music, and my sister.”

  Jed felt her trembling as another wet spot developed on his shirt with her muffled cries. As a child, his family had often done without, especially compared to some of the other kids in the neighborhood. But they’d been happy because God was in their midst.

  Still stroking her hair, he tried to think of something that would help. “As a kid, that’s gotta hurt. But surely there’s been someone else that was special. A man?” Even though he knew she didn’t have anyone to call her special at the moment, Jed thought a woman like Jillian would always have a lineup of suitors. Somehow, the thought irked him.

  She sniffled again. “Every man I went out with made it very clear he wanted something for everything he did or gave to me. I seem to bring it out in them.”

  “You can’t base all this on the experience of just a few jerks, Jillian.”

  She sniffled again, and her voice wavered as she spoke. “I was in love once, Jed, at least I thought I was. His name was Graham. He came from a nice stable home in a nice stable neighborhood, and went to a nice established church. I even thought we would get married. One day he told me he had something for me, and I thought it was an engagement ring. But it wasn’t; it was a very flimsy negligee. He made his intentions very clear when he started undoing his shirt and insisting that he expected me to model it. I knew what he thought would happen next. And it didn’t involve marriage or any commitment, at least on his part.”

  Jed couldn’t think of a thing to say as he looked down at her tearstained face. The thought of a man trying to take advantage of Jillian made his blood boil. “What did you do?”

  Jillian smiled weakly through her tears. “I didn’t think I’d done anything to warrant that kind of suggestion. When I recovered from the shock, I ripped the negligee in half, then thre
w it back to him, box and all. Then I tried to leave. He was furious.” She sniffled as her lip quivered. “He blocked the door and threatened me, so I ran into one of the bedrooms and locked the door. He started trying to break the door down, screaming vile things, what he was going to do with me when he got hold of me.” She hugged herself, and her eyes temporarily became unfocused, staring at some unknown spot on the wall. She refocused and stared into space beyond Jed’s shoulder, and her lower lip trembled again. “I was terrified, so I escaped out the window. I never saw him again.”

  “You jumped out a window?”

  “It was ground level. Fortunately for me.”

  Jed drew her close once more, hugged her tight, rested his chin lightly on top of her head, and squeezed his eyes shut. Little snippets of conversation starting falling into place, things he hadn’t understood at the time, but now he could. No wonder the incident with the drunk at the donut shop terrified her so much. His heart ached for her. He had no idea she carried such deep hurts on her shoulders, things he couldn’t relate to after growing up in a very loving home. Sure, he’d done battle with Liz countless times, but that was only sibling rivalry, and never amounted to anything serious. They hadn’t had much, as a family, but they had each other, and what was given was given freely.

  “Jesus loves you, Jillian, and there are no strings attached.”

  “I know that, Jed, and you have no idea how much that gives me comfort; it’s only been Him that’s held me together. But, still, I’m not very good at dealing with people. And I know I’m not handling this very well. I don’t know what to do, especially when you’re being so. . .” she sniffled “. . .nice.”

  He had no idea what to say; all he could do was to trust that God would give him the right words. First John 4:15 came to mind, one of his favorite verses. “If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God.” It was so simple, yet so powerful. “God loves you, Jillian. He’s given you salvation through Jesus Christ, and all the love that goes with His Son. It’s a gift. all you have to do is take it.”