She paused before she spoke. “That’s a hard question to answer. I think everyone has good and bad days.”
“They do; I agree. But even though I have days like that, overall, I’m happy.”
Kayla’s heart clenched. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to be happy; she did, but once upon a time, he’d been happy with her. Maybe her pride and ego were bruised. She wished he had said he was happy, but that he’d been happier with her. But as far as she was concerned? Yes, she did feel happy. She loved her family deeply, and she liked owning her own store, but she felt happier with him. There was no two ways about it. She felt more complete with Gabe by her side.
“I’m happy,” she said, reaching out and touching his bare leg. He was wearing gray shorts today. She’d always loved his legs, and she couldn’t help touching them.
“You could have fooled me.”
Gabe picked up the paintbrush and resumed painting. He took a step further up the ladder, forcing her hand to fall.
She missed touching him. In just that one moment, her whole body felt alive. That’s what she remembered most about the time she’d been with him: He always made her feel alive. Kayla sat there feeling like an idiot with nothing to do, but she was determined not to leave. She had millions of things she could do to keep herself occupied, yet nothing held her interest like the man painting her wall.
“Gabe?”
He immediately stopped painting, but he didn’t put the brush down or look at her.
“Yes?”
“I felt happier when I was with you,” she said softly. “And I’m sorry I couldn’t return to California earlier, like I thought I would. It took me longer than I thought to handle things here. My family really struggled for a long time after Nana passed. But I had every intention of returning to you once they got back on their feet, and they pretty much had. They’re not perfect, but no one is. But they were on their feet enough that I could have been with you. Like I said in that text I sent you.”
He still didn’t look at her. “I didn’t believe you.” He paused and got really quiet for a few seconds before continuing. “Are you saying all this because you think it’ll make me feel better? Because you think it’s the right thing to say?”
“No,” Kayla admitted. “I mean every word.” Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them away.
“It’s too bad I didn’t believe you then, and I don’t believe you now.”
“Why?” she asked, raising her voice. She’d finally spoken her truth, and he’d responded with a verbal slap to her face.
Gabe continued painting. “Because I no longer trust you. I no longer trust what you have to say. My trust for you ended two years ago,” he said. “And I never should have kissed you the other night. I can’t get your damn lips off my mind.”
“Oh, really?” she asked, her tone sarcastic. “You mean we can’t kiss again? I’d like a retry—without my parents a few feet away.”
Gabe chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. “Not a chance.”
“Can we at least try to get along?” Kayla was sick of his…his shit. There was no other word for it. She was trying to be nice, and she was sick of him acting like an asshole toward her. She may not have handled leaving him the right way, but she didn’t deserve him acting like a dick.
“We have to. Bella Cove is a small town, and we’ll both be living here. I’m also your landlord.”
Kayla groaned. “Please don’t shut down my store. People in this town love it.”
Gabe kept on painting. “I told you I won’t.”
“Thank you. And while we’re at it, let’s try to be friends.”
Gabe paused with the brush hanging midair in his hand. “That’s asking too much. We can be civil. I’d prefer it, actually. I don’t want to look at you or be around your family and think all these negative thoughts.”
“Is that what you do?” Kayla stood, her mouth hanging open. There was no point in being close to him.
Gabe resumed painting. “That’s exactly what I do.”
“Don’t do that.” She raised her voice again. “I’m sorry, Gabe. I’m so sorry for what happened to us. I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry I left us. But you’re the one who gave me an ultimatum on the phone. I texted you anyway and you told me I was too late. So you had a part in our breakup, too.” Kayla had had enough. If only she could control the tears that were falling. “I’m sorry my family was so fucked up. And I’m sorry I didn’t return on your timeline. But I can’t redo the past, Gabe. And neither can you.” She glanced out the window.
Sarah was walking toward the store. She couldn’t let her sister see her like this. That would make everything worse than it already was. She glanced up at Gabe and saw he was still painting. Clearly, she wasted her vocal cords on him. He was done with her.
“I have to go. Please, tell Sarah I had something to do.” Kayla grabbed her bag.
“I’m not going to lie for you,” he said, still not bothering to look her in the eye.
Kayla groaned. “Fine. Just tell her I’ll be back a little later, then.”
She wasn’t sure if he nodded or agreed, but once she left, she would text Sarah.
Unfortunately, Kayla had walked to the store today, so she didn’t have her car. Today, of all days, she wished she could drive far away. Even though Nana had always told Kayla to face her problems, right now, she had to get out of there before her sister came in.
Without another look at Gabe, she practically ran out the back door. If she continued to run, someone would see her. It was hard to hide here. Right now, she didn’t want to see anyone. But if she continued walking behind all the stores on Main Street, she’d be okay.
Her plan worked. When she reached the spot where she always sat when life became too much—a large rock on the far left side of the bay—she sighed with relief. She loved this part of Bella Cove. It was away from the homes that overlooked the bay, and, usually, folks didn’t come here.
Kayla texted her sister and told her she’d been at the store super early and needed to get something to eat. That wasn’t a complete lie, but there was no way she could eat anything. Her stomach wouldn’t allow it, but she had been at the store early. She hoped Gabe would at least verify that part. Sarah texted back, telling Kayla to bring back some kind of treat for her. Kayla sighed. Her sister believed her, which meant she had at least thirty minutes to herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had thirty minutes to herself during the day. So she inhaled the sea air, relishing the few minutes of freedom, and briefly closed her eyes.
Gabe’s earlier statements ran through her mind. He’d pretty much nailed it. She would have loved to have run the store by herself. The only reason she’d hired her sisters was to help them, but, hey, her plan seemed to be working. Better than she’d even imagined. And who knew what the future held for Lauren and Jordan? This morning, Lauren had gotten up early to go to the gym and had caught Kayla on her way to the store. Jordan had already called, and they’d made plans to see each other. On his way back from the Hamptons, he would meet her for coffee. So Kayla had given Lauren the day off. She’d wanted to shop for a new outfit…and how could Kayla say no?
Kayla laughed under her breath. Finally, she had thirty minutes to herself, and all she could think about was her family. Did she even know what she wanted out of life anymore? Was she so consumed with worrying about her family’s happiness that she had forgotten all about her own? She had goals to accomplish, too. But she was having trouble remembering her dreams. She’d known what they were before Nana died—Kayla had planned to marry Gabe and live happily ever after. Now, she wasn’t sure she had any dreams of her own.
For a brief moment, Kayla closed her eyes and allowed herself to fantasize. Her ultimate vision was to marry the man of her dreams and be a top psychologist while living in Bella Cove—but not in her family’s house. She would have her own home that overlooked the bay. And since she was daring to dream, the man she would like to marry was still Gabe Wademan.
Kayla took in her newfound revelation and repeated it in her head a few more times. She would marry Gabe, even though he was acting like a complete asshole. But he wasn’t really an asshole. He just had a million walls up around his heart. She needed to break down those walls. She needed to help him release all that bitterness he had from their past.
Kayla groaned. She was handling him all wrong. Gabe was in Bella Cove, and she was in Bella Cove. If she could get him to trust her again and to stop acting like an asshole, maybe there was the slightest glimmer of hope for them. Of course, there were other obstacles. They’d have to get to know each other again. Fall in love with each other again. But Kayla was open. She was still extremely attracted to him. And her family was in a better place. Maybe she could have it all. Maybe she could find a way to win her true love back. Maybe she could finally stop mourning over Gabe, and instead, get a second chance at being with him. It was time she found the courage to fight for the man who was a part of her soul.
Chapter Nine
With her recent epiphany, Kayla stayed at her sacred spot a little longer than thirty minutes. By the time she made it back to the store, she had her sister’s favorite cookies in her hand and a smile on her face. If she had returned any other way, Sarah would know something was up. With Kayla’s longer-than-usual absence, her sister probably already suspected something.
“Hi, Sarah,” Kayla said, glancing around the store.
“You brought me my favorite cookies.” Sarah ran over and grabbed the bag out of Kayla’s hand.
Kayla laughed. “When did Gabe leave?” She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, even as her heart sank.
With a cookie stuffed in her mouth, Sarah responded. “A few minutes ago. Didn’t he do a great job?”
Kayla looked at her walls. Gabe had done a great job. Not that she’d expected anything less. The yellow borders looked amazing. But since he had finished painting, did that mean he wouldn’t visit her shop anymore? She liked opening her store in the mornings and seeing his handsome face, even if he was still angry and hurt. Especially with her recent revelation.
“It looks amazing. I love it,” Kayla said, her tone quiet.
Her sister continued to stare. “You’ve been different lately. What’s wrong with you?”
Kayla sighed. “Gabe painting the walls made me think of when he painted our apartment.”
Sarah put down the cookies. “Do you miss him? I mean, I know you just saw him, but do you miss him as your boyfriend?”
Kayla paused and thought about that for a second. “I miss him, but the Gabe from today is not the same man I dated. I miss who he was at school. I miss how he made me feel. But this Gabe only makes me feel guilty for staying after Nana passed.” Kayla didn’t want to add that she was ready to fight for what they’d had, and might still have, together.
Sarah crinkled her forehead. “Kayla, you had to stay. We were all fucked up. If you didn’t stay, we would have died.”
Kayla laughed. “No one would have died. You’re so dramatic.”
Sarah shrugged. “Maybe, but we needed you,” she said, biting her bottom lip. “What are you going to do?”
Kayla looked at her pedicure that needed redoing. “I don’t know. I’d like him to trust me again. Then maybe I could see if the Gabe I used to know still exists.” That was the truth. She only had to figure out how to accomplish her goal.
Sarah threw her arms around her. “You’ll find a way to get him to trust you again. And if he doesn’t, then he’s stupid. You’re like an angel to anyone who crosses your path.”
Kayla smiled warmly. “Thank you. Do you know how much I love you?” She squeezed Sarah tight.
Sarah burst out laughing. She had a great laugh…the kind that made everyone around her want to laugh, too.
“If I didn’t know before, I do now.” Sarah squeezed Kayla back hard. “I love you, too.”
Kayla broke the hug. “Thank you, but enough sisterly love. We’ve got a store to run.”
“Oh, I have good news,” Sarah said, jumping up and down. Even though she was twenty-seven, sometimes she acted like a little girl. She was also fun and intelligent. If only she’d stop flirting with every man who crossed her path.
Sarah opened one of the drawers in the register desk and took out a huge stack of paper snowflakes. “While Gabe was working away, I thought I’d make the snowflakes I told you about. It was so quiet in here, I didn’t know what else to do.”
Kayla checked out the snowflakes, but she was more concerned with why Gabe had been quiet. When she was with him, he couldn’t seem to stop talking. Kayla assumed he’d be all light and fun with Sarah.
“I love them,” she told her sister.
Sarah was beaming from ear to ear. “Thanks. I had a blast making them. Where would you like me to hang them?”
“Since this was your vision, why don’t you hang them wherever you want?”
“Perfect. I’ll get right on it.” Sarah grabbed some tape out of the drawer and walked to the corner of the store that led to the hallway.
Her sister had chosen the exact spot Kayla would have suggested, but she wanted Sarah to feel good about herself and be in charge of something. She never had any visions or goals. But first, there was something Kayla had to find out or it would continue to drive her crazy.
“Hey, Sarah?”
“Yeah?” she asked, holding one snowflake under her chin while hanging another one on the wall.
“Since I’ve been spilling my guts to you about Gabe, what’s happening in your love life? I haven’t heard you talk about any guy lately.”
“Because I don’t have anyone. Nor do I want one.” Sarah continued putting up the snowflakes, but she must not have liked how one of them looked because she took it down and put it up again a few inches over.
Kayla leaned against the wall, watching Sarah work.
“Do you ever think of getting married?”
Sarah looked over at Kayla and rolled her eyes. “Kayla, stop. I don’t want to get married. At least, not for a very long time. I like my freedom, and from what I’ve seen and heard, marriage makes most people feel trapped.”
“That’s not true. You’re around Mom and Dad too much. They may have their issues, but neither of them feels trapped.”
Sarah sighed and went back to putting up the snowflakes. “Dad sure does.”
Kayla crossed her arms. “I don’t think so. If that was the case, I think he’d have left by now. I believe he loves Mom, but she drives him crazy sometimes. Even in those times, he doesn’t leave.”
“Because of us.”
Sarah was avoiding looking at Kayla. Interesting… Apparently, their parents’ marital problems were affecting Sarah more than Kayla had thought.
“I think he stays for Mom, also,” Kayla said. “You know, Matt and Jessica have a good marriage, and so did Nana and Pop.”
“Matt puts up with a lot of garbage from Jessica. He wants her to be a part of our family, and she refuses.”
“I’m working on that,” Kayla responded.
“Nana and Pop had a nice marriage from what we saw. But I think they had their moments. We just weren’t aware of them.”
They both grew silent. Why did Sarah think Nana and Pop had their moments? Everyone else thought they’d had a perfect marriage. They were always holding hands and looking adoringly at each other. Kayla would have to ask her sister what made her think there’d been trouble behind the scenes but not today. Today, she needed to discuss something else.
“Hey, Sarah, Mom and Dad think we should have Gabe over for dinner. Do you think that’s a good idea? I thought it’d be a good start to him getting to know me again.” She didn’t want to tell Sarah that deep down, Kayla hoped she could marry him. Not until she had time to let it sink in.
Sarah laughed. “Yeah, it’s a good idea. Then he’ll see what nutjobs we all are, and he’ll understand why you had to help us.”
Kayla grinned. “He won’t think that. You know Mom and D
ad will be on their best behavior. I know there’s only a slim chance of us getting back together, but I’d like to at least be friends.”
“I agree.” Sarah hung another snowflake. “Besides, whether we like it or not, he’s going to be a part of our lives.”
Kayla nodded. “I’ll have Mom ask him.”
“Are you going to tell Mom and Dad the truth about him? And Matt and Josh?”
Kayla sighed. “I will. I’m just not ready yet.”
“I understand. I’d wait, too.”
* * *
An hour later, Kayla’s mom had already called all the siblings in the family and told them to show up at dinner the next evening. Then she called Gabe, who, according to her mom, had accepted the invitation right away and seemed pleased with the idea. After that, Kayla and her mom planned the menu. They decided to barbecue hamburgers, hot dogs, and salmon with mashed potatoes or French fries and grilled vegetables on the side. At least Kayla’s mom was excited. Maybe she’d lay off Dad for five minutes.
Kayla was dying to know what Gabe had thought when her mom called with the invitation. Had he been surprised? Was he glad she’d asked or dreading having dinner with them? Kayla regretted not introducing him back at school, and she was tired of living with regret. They may not be together, but she could fix that mistake at least.
Or maybe the dinner was a terrible idea, and it would only make things worse between them. Either way, she would have her answer tomorrow night.
Chapter Ten
By dinnertime the next night, Kayla was ready to jump out of her skin. She must have changed outfits a million times, which was unlike her. Finally, she settled on a pink and white sleeveless maxi dress, which made her feel feminine and pretty. She wore her hair loose, and thanks to her flattening iron, it hung straight and smooth down her back. She added a smidgen of pink gloss to her lips and some eyeliner to the bottom of her eyes. She thought she looked good, but she wasn’t sure if that mattered. When she was with Gabe at school, he had always complimented her, telling her she was beautiful, but she didn’t know if he still felt the same way. Maybe his disappointment in her made her appear unattractive. After all, he’d only kissed her that one time and had pretty much told her it was awful.
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