Lily's Story: The Complete Saga

by Christine Kersey

  Maybe I can make a run for my car. But as I took a step in the direction of the front door, my big belly reminded me that my movements were slow and awkward. There would be no running today.

  Resigned to dealing with Trevor face to face, I sighed.

  “You’d better go home and take it easy, Kate.”

  “Thanks, Maddy,” I said as I stared out the window. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” At least I hoped I would be back the next day. I had no idea what Trevor was planning.

  How long has he been in town? Does he know where I live?

  I was willing to bet two-hundred thousand dollars that he did. I would also bet that he didn’t know I had his two-hundred thousand dollars.

  Is that why he’s here? To find out if I have it? Or does he have other reasons altogether?

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Maybe it would be best if I talked to him. I have no desire to keep the money. In fact I wish I’d never found the SD card. That money is just stressing me out.

  I still had a good portion of the money I’d gotten from Dad’s life insurance policy. Plus now I had the money from the sale of Dad’s house. My needs were being met. I didn’t need to be greedy. I preferred to have the peace of mind of knowing I was safe.

  “It’s okay if you want to take off,” Maddy said.

  It was a few minutes before one. “Okay. See ya.” I walked out the door, my gaze glued to the diner. I hurried to my car, wondering if I could drive off before Trevor caught up to me. I had to look away from the diner so I wouldn’t trip. Walking as fast as I could in my hugely pregnant state, I reached my car and shoved the key in the lock, wishing I had a keyless entry. I turned the key and the lock popped up. My hand grasped the door handle and I pulled.

  “You weren’t going to leave without talking to me, were you?” Trevor said in my ear.

  I gasped, startled, and dropped my keys. I considered using my self-defense moves, but didn’t think I would be too effective with my big belly in the way. Not only that, I wanted to find a way to give Trevor his money back. I knew as long as I had it I would have to look over my shoulder.

  Maybe I can use it to get what I want from Trevor—a divorce and a life away from him.

  “You dropped these,” he said, handing me my keys.

  I took them from him. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “Us. Our baby. But I don’t want to talk to you out here in the parking lot. Why don’t we go back to your place?”

  Even though I was certain he already knew where I lived, I wasn’t about to take him there. “I haven’t had lunch yet. Why don’t we go to the diner and grab a sandwich. We can talk there.”

  “Okay. I’ll even buy your lunch,” he said.

  We walked across the street and into the diner and found a booth in an area where no one else was sitting. Although I’d kept to myself and hadn’t gotten to know the people who regularly shopped at Billi’s, I certainly didn’t want them to overhear any of my conversation with Trevor. In fact, I would have preferred that no one saw me with Trevor.

  Moments after sitting, a waitress approached our table. My appetite had vanished, but I ordered a chicken salad sandwich anyway. Trevor ordered a cheeseburger and the waitress left.

  “You’re looking good, Lily. I like your hair.”

  I touched my hair without conscious thought. I’d gotten so used to it being short that I’d forgotten that Trevor hadn’t seen it that way.

  “I really hope you’ll allow me to feel our baby kick.”

  My hands went to my belly in a protective gesture, unsure if I wanted to let him touch me.

  “Do you know what it is?” he asked, an eager look on his face.

  Without thinking, I shook my head, then added, “No.” Somehow, keeping this information to myself made the baby seem more mine than his.

  “Oh,” he said, obviously disappointed.

  Do I have the right to keep that information from him? After all, the baby is his child as much as mine. But I already told him no. I don’t want him to know I lied. “How did you find me?” I finally asked.

  “With the Internet it’s not too hard to find someone. Especially when you have that person’s social security number.”

  “You have my social security number? Where did you get that?”

  “I’m not as stupid as you seem to think I am, Lily. Or should I say Kate?”

  Of course he would know the name I was going by. If he’d been watching me for any time at all it wouldn’t have taken long to discover my alias. I leaned forward and said softly, “Everyone here knows me as Kate. I’d appreciate it if you’d call me that too.”

  “Well look at that. I want something from you and you want something from me. Maybe we can trade.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, immediately suspicious.

  “I don’t think it’s asking too much to let me feel our baby move. Do you?”

  “Well, since our baby is inside of my body, that would involve you touching me, which I’m not okay with just now.”

  “All right. Well you just let me know when you’re ready, Lily and that’s when I’ll start calling you Kate.”

  So far this meeting was not going very well. I felt off-balance. I needed to gain control. “How’s Amanda doing?”

  “How should I know?”

  “I thought she was your girlfriend.”

  “Like I keep telling you, she’s just a friend.”

  “It didn’t look like that way when I saw you kissing her.”

  His eyebrows drew together. “And when did this supposedly happen?”

  “The day I came to Reno and took back my stuff.”

  At first he didn’t respond, then, “Why should I believe you?”

  “I know what I saw. You’re not the only who knows how to spy on someone.” I was starting to feel in control.

  “Well, Lily,” he said, exaggerating my name. “I don’t remember kissing her.”

  “Just so you know, Trevor,” I said, exaggerating his name. “If someone hears you call me Lily, all bets are off and I’ll have no reason to let you feel the baby move.”

  He sat back against the booth, frowning. “Fine. You win that one. But I hope you’ll consider it at least.” His voice dropped to a near-whisper as he said, “That’s my child too, you know.”

  My heart softened a bit at not only his words but his tone of voice. “We’ll see.” I didn’t want to commit to anything yet.

  The waitress arrived and set our food in front of us. I nibbled at my sandwich while Trevor dug into his burger.

  “Do you have the divorce papers?” I asked.

  Trevor set his food on his plate and swallowed the bite he’d been chewing. “They’re back in my hotel room.”

  “What needs to be done for it to be final?”

  “I just need your signature, then it will be done.”

  His gaze locked on mine and I found that the incredible blue of his eyes still had the power to draw me in.

  “Lily.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I mean Kate. It’s not too late, you know. We don’t have to go through with this. We can still be a family. You, me, and our baby.”

  He reached across the table and took my hand. Though I wanted to pull my hand away, I was hungry for the touch of another person. His hand was warm and strong and for a moment the love I’d had for him washed over me.

  “Please. Give me one more chance,” he said.

  His eyes matched the tone of his voice and I found myself believing that he really did want to be with me. Gently, I pulled my hand away and rested it in my lap, but the feeling of tenderness lingered.

  Though my heart was warming to Trevor, my head knew I needed to be wary. I called up some of the less pleasant times in our marriage to remind myself why I had left. The feelings that came with those memories crowded out the tenderness that had been growing.

  “Trevor, you have to understand. The way you treated me killed my love for you, little by little.”

  “Are
you saying you don’t care about me at all?”

  The hurt in his eyes was clear and I found that even though my love for him was damaged, it had not been destroyed.

  “I do care about you,” I said. “But it’s not the same as it was before.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I rubbed my forehead, wondering how much I should say. I didn’t want to open myself up entirely—that would just give him the ammunition he needed to hurt me. “In the beginning I loved you completely. You hadn’t done anything to hurt me yet. And the time leading up to our wedding and right after were wonderful. But soon after the wedding you let your jealousy get in the way of our relationship. Justin and I were never anything but friends, but you couldn’t see that and you imagined that more was going on.”

  At the mention of Justin’s name, Trevor’s jaw clenched.

  “You wouldn’t believe me,” I continued, “when I told you it was only you that I loved. Your lack of trust in me ended up pushing me away. But Trevor, the worst was when you hurt me. Physically and emotionally. I can never be with you as long as I think you might hurt me.”

  He shifted in his seat. “Now you’re not believing me when I tell you I’ve changed. How can you accuse me of not believing you, but then you refuse to believe me?”

  My forehead creased as I wondered how honest I could be with him now. If I brought up all of his past mistakes, how would he react? Was it even fair for me to throw them all back at him? But we needed to discuss them. It wasn’t like I was trying to hurt him. We just needed to clear the air. Even if we never got back together, we would still have a child to raise together. We needed to be able to talk about our past.

  “Trevor, why should I believe you now? Have you forgotten all the lies you told me and how you lied to your parents about me?”

  “When did I ever lie to you?”

  This is where I needed to be careful. I didn’t know if he realized I was the one who had called in a tip to the police saying it might be Rob’s Auto Body shop that was involved in the car thefts. If he didn’t suspect me, and I didn’t know why he would, I certainly didn’t want to give myself away. He probably didn’t even know that I knew why he had been in jail. “For one thing,” I said, “You told me you weren’t drinking but you still were. And when I was sick in the beginning of my pregnancy, not only did you lock me into our apartment and take my purse with my keys and wallet, but you took all of the money in my bank account.”

  He rubbed his hand on his chin. “Look, I know I made a lot of mistakes. But in the six months since you’ve been gone I’ve come to realize what’s most important, and that’s you. I don’t know what else to tell you to convince you.”

  “I need time to think about this,” I said. “A few hours ago I didn’t even know you were in town.”

  His hand slid across the table, but I left mine in my lap. He rested his hand on the table as he spoke. “I’m sorry if I scared you when I showed up. I’m sorry for all the things I did that made you want to leave me. But I still love you with all my heart and I want to make our marriage work.” He paused. “Just think about it. I’ll be here again tomorrow at one o’clock. I hope you’ll come talk to me.”

  “Thanks for lunch, Trevor.” I slid out of the booth and stood. “I’ll think about it, but no promises.”

  He smiled and nodded and I walked out the door and to my car, my mind in turmoil.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  I drove home in a daze. Fortunately, I’d driven the route often enough that I didn’t have to think about where I was going. A short time later I pulled into my gravel drive and parked in front of my house. Greta was happy to see me and I scratched her in her favorite spots for a few minutes as I sat on the couch.

  Today was one of the days I didn’t have classes. I usually used the time to do homework, but there would be no way I would be able to concentrate. As I replayed my conversation with Trevor, multiple feelings went through me. At first I had been terrified when he’d walked through the door of Billi’s, but he’d actually been quite reasonable. At lunch I had even felt some renewed tenderness for him. And when he had taken my hand in his, I had been hungry for his touch.

  My biggest concern was whether he meant what he said or if he had some other agenda. Did he suspect I’d taken his money? Or did he truly love me and want to be with me? But most important, had he changed, as he claimed? I desperately wanted to believe him. Things would be so much easier if my life could get back on track and if the family I had always visualized for myself could actually come to fruition.

  But I had doubts. Serious doubts. And I didn’t know how I could test Trevor to see if he was telling the truth. The only way I could think of was to give him a chance. He’d already found me, so there was no risk in spending time with him. As long as I kept my guard up, I felt I would be okay.

  The next day at work, toward the end of my shift, I kept glancing out the window toward the diner to try to catch a glimpse of Trevor arriving. I hadn’t decided yet if I was going to talk to him—not knowing his motives scared me.

  At twelve-thirty his blue Camaro pulled up to the diner and my heart began to race. I watched as he opened the door of his car and stepped out. He looked in my direction, although I was fairly certain he couldn’t see me through the glass, then walked into the diner.

  I found myself feeling like I did when I lived in Reno and Trevor was just starting to notice me. I craved his attention and approval. I needed him to notice me and want me. Even though he had treated me poorly, my loneliness over the previous six months made me want to overlook the mistakes of the past.

  But I did need to find out about his arrest. Was he involved with the car thefts? Where did he get the two-hundred thousand dollars? I knew I couldn’t be with someone who was stealing.

  Maddy showed up a little while later and I left the store, then stood on the sidewalk in front, unsure what I should do. Then I started walking toward my car, too scared to do anything else.

  “Lily!”

  I froze as Trevor’s voice rang out. Then I continued walking.

  “Kate!”

  This time I stopped and turned in his direction. He was jogging across the street toward me.

  “Sorry. I forgot about the name thing,” he said with a smile.

  I tentatively smiled back.

  “I saw you standing on the sidewalk and I was afraid you weren’t going to come talk to me.” He paused. “And then you started walking away.”

  As I imagined myself in Trevor’s place—finding his wife after all this time—I felt bad about almost leaving. But I had to keep reminding myself why I’d left and what had led up to it. He had made choices that had pushed me away. These were just the consequences of those choices.

  Thinking in those terms made me feel better.

  “Will you talk to me today, Kate?” He shook his head. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to calling you that.”

  “I have classes this afternoon, Trevor. I don’t really have time right now.”

  “Okay. When will you have time?”

  “Tomorrow afternoon, I guess.”

  “All right. I’ll be waiting.”

  “Fine.” I stood there a moment. “I have to get going.”

  His blue eyes bored into mine as he whispered, “I love you, Lily.”

  A lump formed in my throat as I looked into his eyes and his words penetrated my heart. “Bye, Trevor,” I managed to say, then I turned and walked to my car. I didn’t look in his direction until I was safely in my car. He was still standing where I’d left him, watching me, a look of despair on his face.

  I backed out of the parking spot and began the drive to class as tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. Once in class, I had a hard time focusing.

  Finals were in just a few weeks and I looked forward to getting those done. And then my baby would be coming. The closer my due date came, the more excited I became. The baby’s room was ready—all it needed was a baby.

&n
bsp; Finally it was time to go home. I fixed myself dinner, then played with Greta for a while. It was too cold to play outside, so I used a toy rope and played tug-of-war with her. She had gotten a lot bigger since I’d gotten her, and just having her around made me feel more secure.

  All of a sudden she dropped her end of the rope and ran to the front door, barking frantically. It was dark outside, but as I looked out the front window I saw a car pulling up the gravel drive. As the car got closer, I saw it was Trevor’s Camaro.

  Panic engulfed me.

  What is he doing here? Why has he come? Should I hide in the secret room? What will he do if I don’t answer the door? What will he do when he hears Greta barking?

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  I ran upstairs into the baby’s room, then looked out the window. Trevor was getting out of his car. It was dark out, but I could see him hesitate before walking toward the front porch. I lost sight of him but then heard knocking. Greta was still barking like crazy with her deep, loud voice.

  Since my car was parked out front, Trevor would know I was home. Slowly, I walked out of the baby’s room, then down the stairs. As I approached the front door, Trevor knocked again. I peered through the peephole and saw Trevor waiting. I turned the lock and reached for the door knob, then hesitated.

  “Lily?” Trevor called, obviously hearing me turn the deadbolt.

  With me there, Greta had calmed down and only let out an occasional bark. Slowly, I turned the knob, then pulled open the door. “What are you doing here, Trevor?” My voice was less than friendly and I held Greta’s collar to keep her from running out.

  The smile he’d had on his face vanished. “I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to talk to you, so I thought I’d stop by.” He took a step back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.” Trevor glanced at Greta. “Look, if you don’t want me here, I’ll leave.”

  I sighed. “You’re already here, so you might as well come in.”

  His smile returned.