Lily's Story: The Complete Saga

by Christine Kersey

  “Okay.” I smiled up at him, the feeling of security that his presence always gave me wrapping around me like a warm blanket.

  Shortly after he left, Natalie and Jackson both woke up, and just as I finished feeding them, Alyssa walked into the family room.

  “Good morning,” I said, wondering if I should tell her about Marcus losing his job. She had enough worries of her own, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to layer mine on top of them. “How did you sleep?”

  “Okay. My mind kept going to Ty and whether or not he was at the casino. I almost texted him, but decided I should give him time to contact me first.”

  I nodded. “Probably a good idea.” Although secretly I wondered how long it would take him to feel Alyssa’s absence. If he was truly addicted to gambling, it might take a while.

  “Marcus looks good,” she said. “And I can tell you’re both so happy.”

  I pushed a smile onto my mouth, knowing if she’d said that the day before I would have agreed with enthusiasm. Now, with Marcus’s job situation unclear, my usual joy was tempered with worry. “We are,” I said, not quite ready to share my bad news.

  Maybe Marcus will come up with a solution and there won’t be a need to tell anyone about my concerns.

  Ready to change the subject, I said, “Do you have anything you want to do today?”

  “Maybe check out that cute boutique you told me about.”

  “Sounds great.”

  A moment later, Greta, my treasured German Shepherd, came through her doggie door. Natalie ran to her and threw her arms around her. Greta’s tail swung in a wide arc.

  We spent the rest of the day running errands and visiting, and though I enjoyed spending time with Alyssa, in the back of my mind I kept thinking about Marcus and wondering how his job hunt was going. How long would it take him to find another job? Would his pay be as much as we were used to?

  “What’s wrong, Lily?” Alyssa asked after I’d put the children down for naps and we’d settled on the couch for a quiet chat.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I know you. Something’s on your mind.”

  I sighed, and decided to tell her my news. At a minimum it would take her mind off of her problems. “Last night Marcus told me his company shut down.” I frowned. “He lost his job.”

  Alyssa sat up straighter. “Oh no.” Then she looked thoughtful. “He’s an electrical engineer, right?”

  “Yes, but he didn’t graduate very long ago and he doesn’t have very much experience.”

  “Still, he’s smart. I’ll bet he finds another job really fast.”

  “I hope so.”

  When Marcus got home that afternoon, I was anxious to hear how his day had gone, but I wanted to discuss it with him in private. He chatted with Alyssa and me for a few minutes, then headed to our bedroom.

  “I’ll be back in a bit,” I said to Alyssa.

  She smiled knowingly. “No rush. I’ll keep an eye on Natalie.”

  “Thanks.” With Jackson in my arms, I headed to the bedroom where I found Marcus sitting on the foot of our bed doing something on his phone. “How’d your day go?”

  He looked up. “Hey, sweetie.” Then he held out his arms for Jackson, who I handed over. Marcus nuzzled his neck. “He always smells so fresh. I don’t know how you keep him smelling so good.”

  I laughed as I sat beside him. “He gets it from you.” I kissed his neck. “You always smell good too.”

  With his free arm, he drew me against him. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

  I lay my head against his shoulder. “Are you trying to avoid answering my question?”

  He laughed. “I can’t get anything by you.”

  I pulled away and looked at him. “No, you can’t.”

  A wide smile filled his face. “All right. You got me.”

  I smiled in return. “Tell me about your day.”

  “Like I told you this morning, I met with Rick and Jason.” A nervous smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “Well, after a lot of talking, we came up with the idea to start our own firm.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. “Doing what exactly?”

  “The same thing we’ve been doing at our old firm.”

  “How much will that cost? How will you pay for it?” The idea that we would have to pay for a new business on top of needing to pay the bills seriously stressed me out.

  Marcus chuckled softly. “That’s what I need to talk to you about.”

  A bad feeling grew within me. “What do you mean?”

  “I think you can tell where this is going,” Marcus said. “Between the three of us who want to start this business, I’m the only one who actually has the cash.”

  “You mean I’m the only one who has the cash.” I didn’t mean to sound snarky, but the memory of Trevor locking me up and stealing my money flashed into my mind, and I couldn’t help my defensive attitude.

  Marcus sighed. “Look, Lily, I completely understand if you don’t want to loan me any of your money, but if I want to be part of this, I have to bring cash to the table.” Reticence crossed his face. “I suppose I can always apply for a small business loan.”

  “That would mean more debt for us.”

  “Yes, it would. But what else can I do?”

  “So would Rick and Jason bring money to the table too?”

  “Yes. We’d all bring in an equal share.”

  “And it would just be a loan?”

  “Yes,” Marcus said, then he paused. “But I don’t know how long it would take before I could pay you back.”

  The thought of not having my nest egg to fall back on made my stomach churn—even if I knew he would eventually pay me back. “I just don’t know.”

  “Take some time to think about it,” he said. “The three of us are meeting again tomorrow to see where we stand. I can tell them I’m still working on my share.”

  “How soon would you need the money?”

  “Our old firm is selling off their equipment for a bargain price, so if we want to take advantage of it, we need to jump on it.”

  “Okay.” I paused. “Have you thought about how you’re going to do things differently than your old firm? You know, so you don’t make the same mistakes they did?”

  “Of course. We’re not going in to this blind, Lily. Jason has a lot of experience on the business side of things.” He smiled. “We’re going to do things as cheaply as possible.”

  That reassured me, but I was still wary. “What if you can’t pay me back?”

  Marcus pulled away and stared at me. “What are you suggesting? That we’ll fail?” His eyes shone with hurt. “You don’t have much faith in me, do you?”

  “It’s not that,” I began. “It’s just . . .” I sighed softly. “Besides the little we have in savings, it’s all we have for emergencies.”

  “I’m well aware of that.” A tone of irritation clouded his voice. “Don’t you think I know that?” He sighed. “I don’t need you to remind me that we didn’t have a lot of extra money before I lost my job.”

  Guilt and frustration swept over me. “I’m not blaming you. I appreciate all you do for us.” I reached up and gently stroked his face. “If it wasn’t for you, I can’t imagine where I’d be. I love being home with our children, and I couldn’t do that without your support—emotional as well as financial.” I held his gaze. “Marcus, I love you.” I waited a beat, wanting him to know my next question wasn’t tied to my love for him. “I have to ask though. Have the three of you figured out how you’re going to find clients? I mean, how long will it take before you’re actually making any money?”

  “All three of us have worked with clients that are now without an engineering firm. I’m sure some of them will sign with us.”

  “How much experience do the other two men have?”

  Marcus sighed, clearly feeling exasperated by all of my questions. “Between the three of us, we have at least twenty years experience.”

  “That’s good,”
I said, almost to myself. “But how long until you turn a profit?”

  “I don’t know, but it’ll probably be a while.” He stood and began pacing. “Can I just say that I don’t like having my wife question me like she’s my banker?” He stopped and faced me, his forehead furrowed. “Any other questions?”

  I didn’t like his vague answer on when they’d be making money, although I knew there was no way he could know for sure. “Do you need all of my nest egg? I mean, maybe we should keep some back to pay bills.”

  His jaw tightened. “You know, just forget it, Lily. I think it would be better if I just applied for a small business loan.”

  I jumped up and went to him, placing my hands on his shoulders. “Marcus, please don’t be angry with me. I just have to . . . well, I’m just nervous about this.”

  With a soft voice, he said, “It would help if you had more faith in me.”

  “I do have faith in you. I do.”

  “But you just don’t want to loan me the money.” It came out as a statement.

  He was right. I wanted everything to go back to how it was—Marcus going to work each day and bringing home a steady paycheck, and my inheritance tucked safely away in the bank, available for emergencies.

  But wasn’t this an emergency? Marcus needed what I had. Why couldn’t I let it go? What was more important? The money in the bank, or my husband? Besides, did I want him to dig a deeper hole by putting us into debt with a small business loan?

  As I gazed into his face, I thought about all the things he’d done for me and knew it was my turn to do something for him. Though still filled with trepidation, I decided to take a leap of faith. “I’ll loan you the money.”

  He stared at me like he was waiting for me to change my mind. And I wanted to, but I kept my lips firmly pressed together.

  “Are you sure?” he finally asked.

  The only thing I was sure of was that I loved him and that I had to show him that I had faith in him. It would be hard to hand over my money, but ultimately, he was more important. Besides, we would still have some money available in our savings with which to pay the bills. I nodded.

  He leaned towards me and pressed his lips to mine. “Thank you. This means a lot to me.”

  The happiness on his face helped convince me I’d made the right decision. “You’re welcome.”

  “Why don’t you let me make dinner tonight,” he said. “That way you and Alyssa can relax and talk.”

  He didn’t make dinner often, and I couldn’t help but feel like he was just doing it because he was happy that I’d agreed to loan him the money—but I wasn’t going to call him on it. “Thanks, honey. I appreciate that.”

  Chapter 4

  As Alyssa and I talked and kept an eye on Natalie, I listened to Marcus working in the kitchen and wondered if I’d made the right decision.

  What if they can’t get enough clients? What if the money I loaned him isn’t enough and he needs more? I have money in a trust for Natalie, but surely he would never think to ask for that.

  Alyssa leaned towards me and whispered, “Does he cook dinner often?”

  Forcing my thoughts away from the worst case scenarios, I smiled. “Actually, no. Not very often at all.” I hadn’t told her about my loan to Marcus—and I didn’t plan to.

  She glanced towards the kitchen. “I think it’s awesome. Even if it’s not very often.” Her smile faltered. “Ty’s hardly home, let alone in the kitchen making dinner for me.”

  Relieved to think about something besides my newfound concerns, I focused on Alyssa. “You just barely made the decision to leave him.” I gazed at her steadily. “You’ve been gone for one day now. How are you feeling about your decision? Do you still think it’s the right thing to do?”

  Alyssa ran her hands over her face, then sighed as she looked at me. “I don’t know.” She stared at the blank wall for a moment. “At first it seemed like the only thing I could do to get his attention. But now I’m not so sure about it.”

  “You’re allowed to change your mind, you know.” I smiled softly.

  “I know I am. But if I go back now, what message will that send to Ty?” Her lips pressed into a straight line. “Next time—if there is a next time—he won’t believe me when I say I’m going to leave.”

  I didn’t say anything, my thoughts scattered on Alyssa’s problems, as well as my own.

  “Even if I stay away,” Alyssa began, “there’s no guarantee Ty will change.” She sighed. “I suppose I need to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place.”

  Nodding absently, I briefly thought about my own experience with a husband who did things I didn’t like. There hadn’t been anything I could have done to change who Trevor had been. Leaving had been my only option. “The only person you have control over is yourself,” I said. “You can’t count on your actions changing him. All you can do is control the way you respond to him.”

  A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “I know. But it’s just so hard.” She laughed quietly. “If I could just get him to do what I want, everything would be fine.”

  My eyebrows rose as I nodded. “If only.”

  “Dinner’s ready,” Marcus said.

  I put Natalie in her high chair, then sat at the table with Marcus and Alyssa.

  “This looks delicious,” Alyssa said.

  I nodded. “It sure does.”

  Marcus laughed. “You’re just saying that because you didn’t have to make it.”

  I smiled. “That may have something to do with it, but it really does look yummy.”

  “Thanks.”

  The sound of Jackson waking up filtered into the kitchen, and I glanced at Marcus. “He has impeccable timing.”

  “He just wants to eat too,” he said as he pushed back from the table and headed towards the hallway. A few moments later he returned with Jackson held against his chest. “You ladies eat and I’ll try to keep him entertained until you can nurse him.”

  “I’ll hurry,” I said.

  “No, don’t rush. He can wait a few minutes.” Jackson fussed, but Marcus put a pacifier in his mouth, which settled him down.

  As I watched him with our son, I knew I’d been beyond lucky to have found him. He was a good man, a good husband and father, and hardworking to boot. Glad now that I’d decided to loan him the money, the stress I’d been feeling seemed to melt away.

  The next morning Alyssa told me Ty had called her after she’d gotten in bed the night before.

  “What did he say?” I asked as I bounced Jackson in my arms.

  “He asked when I was coming home.”

  “What did you say?”

  She pursed her lips. “I asked him why I should come home when he’s hardly ever there. He told me I was exaggerating.” She frowned. “I told him I didn’t know when I’d be coming home, and then we hung up.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I have to go back to work tomorrow, so obviously I actually will have to go home to Vegas. But I know they’ll let me stay in one of their rooms for a reduced rate for a while.”

  “Oh, Alyssa. I’m so sorry this is happening.”

  “I’m just so frustrated with him,” she said, her voice strained. “It seems like he’s changed so much since our wedding.” Her frown deepened. “Or maybe he was like this all along and I just didn’t want to see it.” She looked thoughtful. “If you don’t mind me asking, when did you realize that Trevor wasn’t exactly who you thought he was?”

  I hadn’t thought a lot about Trevor and our relationship in a long time. He’d been dead for two years, and though his family was a part of my life, we rarely talked about him. And Marcus never wanted to talk about him—which was fine with me.

  “You don’t have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable,” Alyssa said.

  “No, that’s okay,” I said. “I just haven’t thought about that in a while.” I glanced at Natalie as she played with her doll on the floor. “When I look back on it, I ca
n see the signs were there from the beginning. I just didn’t want to see them. I wanted to believe what I wanted to believe.” I smiled in remembrance. “You were there. You even tried to warn me. But I wouldn’t listen.”

  Alyssa laughed. “Yeah, you were stubborn.”

  “No. I just thought I was in love.” A smile blossomed on my mouth. “I didn’t know what love really was. Not until I met Marcus.”

  “I’m glad you found each other,” Alyssa said. “I can definitely see that he makes you happy.”

  She was right. He did make me happy. I hoped I made him happy too. I wondered how his meeting with his two friends was going. Had they been able to convince their wives to pony up their share? Or were they as nervous about it as I was?

  “Maybe after a few more days of you being gone,” I began, “Ty will realize that you’re serious about wanting him to change.”

  Alyssa shook her head. “I hope so. I really want to make this marriage work.”

  “All marriages go through rough patches,” I said, thinking that Marcus and I had been able to avoid any of those so far. “But most people work things out because they love each other.”

  “I do love him. No question about that.”

  “Then you have the basics down.” Jackson had fallen asleep against my shoulder. “I’ll be right back,” I whispered, then I carried him to his room and lay him in his crib. A moment later I returned to the family room. “Hopefully he’ll sleep for a while.”

  “How’s Marcus’s job hunt going? Any luck yet?”

  I hesitated for only a moment. “Actually, he’s decided to start his own firm with two of his former co-workers.”

  Alyssa smiled. “That’s exciting.” Then after gazing at me for a moment, her eyebrows pulled together. “You don’t look excited.”

  “I’m too easy to read, aren’t I?”

  “Sometimes.” She laughed. “No, all the time.”

  I laughed with her, then my humor seeped away. “I liked how things were, but he really wants to do this.”

  “What’s the worst that could happen?”

  Several scenarios flashed through my mind. “I guess that we go broke, can’t afford to pay our mortgage, and end up losing the house.”