Lily's Story: The Complete Saga

by Christine Kersey

  The moment Marcy opened the door and threw her arms around me, warmth and security flowed over me.

  “It’s so wonderful to see you,” she said, then her gaze went to Natalie and Jackson. “And these two are as adorable as ever.”

  Natalie barely hesitated before letting Marcy take her out of my arms.

  “Oh, she remembers me,” Marcy said as we followed her inside.

  I wasn’t sure if it was that as much as the fact that spending time at the day care had made Natalie more comfortable with multiple people. In any case, it made Marcy happy, so that was good.

  “Scott and Chris and their families are going to come over for dinner tomorrow,” Marcy said as she carried Natalie into the living room where we sat on the couch.

  “There they are,” John said as he came into the room.

  I stood and hugged him, overwhelmed with gratitude that Trevor’s parents had become like surrogate parents to me. A moment later he took Jackson from my arms.

  “He looks a lot like his daddy,” John said.

  I smiled as I thought of Marcus. “He sure does.”

  “Natalie,” he said in a soft voice as he sat beside her and Marcy on the couch. “What happened to your arm?”

  “I got a owie,” she said with a small pout.

  “Oh no.” Then he smiled. “Can I draw a picture on your cast?”

  Natalie giggled, then looked at me.

  “It’s okay,” I said to her.

  Her bright blue eyes—so much like Trevor’s—went to John, who stood and said, “I’ll be right back with a marker.” He winked at me as he handed Jackson back to me.

  Not for the first time, I wondered where I would be if Trevor had been more like his parents—kind and sweet.

  You wouldn’t be with Marcus, which means you wouldn’t have Jackson.

  That was something I couldn’t begin to contemplate, and it emphasized that everything happened for a reason. I wouldn’t be the person I’d become if I hadn’t gone through all those terrible times with Trevor. They had been awful, but I didn’t regret where I found myself now and the relationships I’d developed.

  “Here we are,” John said as he sat beside Natalie and began drawing on her cast.

  Mesmerized, she held perfectly still as he drew a picture of a little girl that looked remarkably like Natalie.

  “I didn’t know you were such a good artist,” I said, impressed with his skill.

  He laughed, but I could tell my comment pleased him. “I like to draw once in a while.”

  “Draw Greta,” Natalie said as she tapped on her cast.

  John froze for a split second—so briefly that if I hadn’t been watching for his reaction to the name of the dog that had killed his son, I wouldn’t have noticed it at all.

  “Okay,” he finally said, but I noticed his hand shook a little.

  John and Marcy had never met Greta, although they knew she was a German Shepherd. When they’d come for my formal wedding to Marcus, I’d put Greta in a doggie resort for the time they would be there, fearful that seeing her would be too hard on them.

  John finished drawing a dog on Natalie’s cast, and she smiled, clearly delighted. She slid off of the couch and ran over to show me what he’d done.

  “I love it,” I said with enthusiasm. I pointed to the drawing of the little girl. “She looks just like you.”

  Natalie nodded, then walked over to Marcy and showed her.

  We relaxed for the rest of the evening, and after I put the children to bed, John left Marcy and me to visit on our own.

  “Tell me what’s going on in your life,” Marcy said. “You mentioned that you’re living at Jeff and Trish’s place while Marcus gets his business off the ground. How’s that going?”

  “I hate it,” I said, surprising myself with the vehemence in my voice.

  “Hate it? Really? Why?”

  At the look of surprise on Marcy’s face, I quickly said, “Don’t get me wrong. Trish and Jeff have been very nice about everything, but I miss having my house, where I’m the one in charge.”

  She nodded. “You feel like a guest who’s overstayed her welcome.”

  “Kind of, yeah.”

  “I understand.” She chuckled. “Having two women share one kitchen is always a challenge.”

  A small smile lifted one side of my mouth. “We don’t exactly share the kitchen. Besides breakfast, Trish pretty much does all the cooking.” I laughed. “Not that I mind—I’ve never loved to cook.” My laughter died away. “But I’d like to have my own kitchen again.”

  “Of course you would.” Her chin tilted downward as she gazed at me. “And you will, Lily.”

  “But?”

  She smiled. “But . . . good things come to those who wait.”

  “I know, but it’s the waiting that I don’t like.”

  “You’ve always been a bit . . .” She tapped her chin. “Impulsive, I guess I’d say. Would you agree?”

  I thought about the way Trevor and I had married so soon after we’d met—he’d pressured me, but still, I’d agreed. And then how I’d decided to get the job at the day care, and before I knew it, I was employed. “Yes. Sometimes.”

  Marcy’s smile widened. “So you wouldn’t exactly classify yourself as patient?”

  This time I laughed with confidence. “No. That is definitely not a virtue I’ve mastered.”

  “Then maybe you can look at this time in your life as an advanced class on gaining patience.”

  “I suppose that’s one way to see it,” I said.

  Marcy nodded as if she’d solved one of my problems. And maybe she had. Maybe I was just expecting too much, too soon.

  “Tell me about this new job you mentioned,” she said.

  I told her all about it—how I’d thought we needed the money and how I’d thought it would give Natalie the opportunity to play with other children. “But Marcus didn’t want me to do it.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “Yet you did it anyway?”

  She’s from a different generation—one where a woman obeys her husband. “I didn’t like him telling me what to do.”

  She tilted her head. “I thought the two of you were partners in your marriage.”

  Not liking where this was going, I said, “We are.”

  “So you discussed it with him before you agreed to take the job?”

  “Not exactly.” Guilt swept over me. I hadn’t said a word to Marcus about even considering getting the job until I’d been hired. It had been a done deal, and there had been no way I was going to let him talk me out of it.

  “I don’t mean to be blunt, Lily, but it doesn’t sound like you’re treating Marcus as an equal partner.”

  She was being blunt, but since she was sort of an outside party to everything, and because I knew she only had my best interests at heart, it was easier to take it from her.

  A flush crept up my cheeks as the truth of her words settled over me, and I stared at my lap.

  “Lily,” she said, her voice soft.

  I looked up and met her gaze.

  “Don’t feel too bad. You haven’t been married that long.” She laughed. “Looking back on my own first years of marriage, I wish I’d known then what I know now. I would have done a lot of things differently.”

  Somehow that made me feel better. “What can I do to fix it?”

  “Well, I would say that when you get home you should sit down with that husband of yours and talk to him about what you’re feeling.”

  “It’s not like we haven’t talked about this.”

  She tucked her legs under her. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve told him I’m not happy living at his parents’ house.”

  “And what did he say to that?”

  “That that’s the way it is now, and that I need to get used to it.” The anger and frustration I’d felt at our fight a few days before came rushing back. “It’s like he’s totally disregarding my feelings.”

  “Or maybe he knows he can’t
change anything right now, and he feels helpless to make you happy.”

  I sighed. “I’ve told him that I would be perfectly happy if he were to work for someone and bring home a regular paycheck.”

  “But he’s trying to start his own firm. He can’t do both.”

  “I know.”

  She straightened her shoulders. “I see. You want him to forget this whole entrepreneur thing he’s doing, and have things go back to how they were. You want life to be comfortable and easy again.”

  She understands. “Yes. Exactly.

  Her lips pursed. “You know that’s not going to happen, don’t you?”

  Deep inside I did know it, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. I wanted to argue with her, but in all reality the argument needed to be with Marcus. I sighed. “Yes, I suppose I do.”

  She smiled. “Good. Then when you have your conversation with him, that’s the place you can start from.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, instead of suggesting that he change his career plans, you can talk to him about how you can help him reach his career goals.” A soft smile lit her face. “And then you can talk about what you want, and how he can help you get there.”

  When she said it like that, it made so much sense, but I knew the actual conversation with Marcus wouldn’t be so easy. It would require me to completely accept our situation, and deep inside, I still resisted it.

  “What are you thinking, Lily?”

  “That you’re right, but I’m not happy about it.” A wry smile turned up the corners of my mouth.

  Marcy laughed. “You don’t have to be happy about it, but that won’t change reality. And I think you know, Lily, that you have it in you to change your attitude. I also think you know that your attitude has a very powerful impact on your entire family.”

  As I thought about it, I realized she was right again. When I got upset and frustrated, that led to Marcus becoming upset as well. Even the children would sense the tension, and then they would become fussy.

  Having grown up without a mother, I guess I’d never really understood the critical role a mother’s attitude had on the entire household. I appreciated Marcy’s wisdom, and told her as much.

  “That’s one benefit of growing old,” she said with a smile. “You learn a lot throughout your life, and then you feel obligated to share it with others.” Her mouth shaped into a small smirk. “Whether those other people want to hear it or not.”

  I laughed. “I may not have wanted to hear it, but I needed to hear it.”

  “It sounds like you’re willing to change. That’s half the battle.”

  I thought about Alyssa and Ty, and how Ty seemed unwilling to change.

  Poor Alyssa. I’m glad I’ll be able to see her on Monday.

  Chapter 21

  Sunday afternoon, when Trevor’s brothers and their families came over for a barbecue, I truly enjoyed myself. It was a much different experience than when I’d visited for the first time after Trevor’s death. Then, Chris, the middle brother and the one who looked so much like Trevor, had been angry with me and had silently blamed me for his brother’s death. Now, though he wasn’t as effusive towards me as Scott was, he was warming up to me.

  “I have to admit,” Chris said as he bounced Jackson on his knee, “this little guy is pretty cute.”

  “Just pretty cute?” I said with a smile. “I think adorable is a better word for him.”

  Chris’s wife, Melody, leaned over her husband’s shoulder. “I have to agree with Lily, hon.”

  I smiled at her, thankful for the role she’d played in helping her husband to begin to come around.

  “I remember when Natalie was his age,” Deena, Scott’s wife said as she joined us. “And now look at her.”

  “I know,” I said. “They grow so fast. I’m trying to enjoy every minute I have with them.” Then it hit me. If I didn’t have to work, why was I? I hadn’t even been enjoying my job as much as I had at first. It would be one thing if I loved it, or if we needed the money—not that we couldn’t use it, but Marcus and his parents had made it clear we could get by without it. If either of those reasons were in play, I could understand my stubbornness in keeping my job.

  But neither was, so why was I insisting on keeping that job?

  Was it simply to show Marcus that I was my own woman, to prove to him that he couldn’t make decisions for me? He’d never shown any inclination to tell me what to do. Yes, he’d asked me not to take the job, but I’d completely disregarded what he wanted and had only focused on what I wanted.

  And what did I want exactly? To show him that since he wasn’t bringing home a paycheck, that I would do it instead? That would have been fine if we needed me to. But we didn’t.

  I’m going to give my two weeks notice when I get home.

  The moment the thought clarified in my head, peace and relief cascaded over me, and I knew I’d made the right decision. Suddenly giddy, I found I couldn’t sit still. And I wanted to share my decision with Marcy.

  “I’m going to see if Marcy needs any help,” I said as I stood. “Do you want me to take the baby?”

  “I’ll take him,” Deena said before anyone else could offer.

  I smiled at her, beyond grateful to have these people in my life—people who loved me and my children. “Thank you.”

  A few moments later I found Marcy tidying up in the kitchen.

  “Would you like me to wash those pots?” I asked, pointing to the stack to the side of the sink.

  “That would be great. I’ll dry.”

  I filled the sink with hot, soapy water, and after washing and rinsing the first pot, I handed it to her. “I made a decision,” I said, my heart light.

  “Oh?”

  “Yes. I’m going to quit my job.”

  She smiled. “Have you told Marcus?”

  “No. I just decided a few minutes ago.”

  She nodded as she dried the next pot I handed her. “What made you change your mind?”

  “I guess I realized that since I don’t have to work, I’d rather spend the time with Natalie and Jackson. I mean, before I know it, they’ll both be grown.”

  “That’s truer than you realize, Lily. But the main thing is, if this decision is right for you and your family, then I’m happy for you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Lily, you made it,” Alyssa said as she let me into her room at the hotel.

  Though her hair and make-up were perfect, she looked tired, and I could tell she’d lost weight.

  “How are you?” I asked as I drew her into a hug.

  “Not great, if you want to know the truth.”

  We sat on the small couch, and I curled my legs beneath me.

  “It’s so quiet without Natalie and Jackson,” she said.

  Marcy and John had volunteered to babysit, and I’d agreed, knowing there wouldn’t be a lot for the kids to do while I visited with Alyssa. “I know. But it’s nice for a change.” I glanced around the small space. “Your room is cozy.”

  “What you’re trying to say is ‘small’,” she said with a laugh. “But I’ve done what I can to make it feel more like home.” Her chin quivered, then tears filled her eyes. “I want to go home, Lily. I want to be with Ty.”

  I reached out and rubbed her arm. “Have you talked to him lately?”

  She nodded, then wiped the tears from her face. “I talked to him yesterday, and he told me he misses me.” She inhaled through her nose, then slowly exhaled through her mouth. “He asked me to come home.”

  “Well, that’s good. Right?”

  “Yes, but when I talked to him about his gambling, he changed the subject.”

  I felt for her, but I knew from my experience with Trevor and the drinking he’d refused to give up, that she couldn’t make him change. It would have to come from him. “Have you talked to him about seeing a marriage counselor?”

  “I’ve suggested it a couple of times, and I think he’s starting to warm
to the idea.”

  I smiled. “It sounds like there’s hope.”

  She nodded. “That’s the only thing keeping me going right now.”

  We talked for a while longer, then we went to lunch. By the time I got back to Marcy and John’s, I was emotionally wrung out. Compared to Alyssa and Ty’s problems, mine seemed small. She had zero control over the outcome of her marriage, but my issue—dealing with my living situation and supporting Marcus—was completely in my hands.

  Gratitude for that huge difference swept over me, and I knew I’d been selfish. In a hurry now to be with Marcus and to tell him how sorry I was, I was eager to head home the next day.

  “Did they behave for you?” I asked Marcy as I took Jackson from her arms.

  “Of course they did. We went to the park and had a picnic, then they both napped.”

  “I really appreciate you watching them. It made it a lot easier to visit with Alyssa.”

  “We don’t get to see them very often, so we loved having them all to ourselves.”

  Early the next morning we headed home. The drive seemed longer than it had on the way down, but that was because all three of us were ready to be home.

  When we pulled up to the house in the early afternoon, I was surprised to see Marcus’s car parked in the driveway. He was never home this early.

  As I unloaded the children from the car, he came out to meet us.

  “Marcus,” I said when he stopped beside me. Eager to tell him my decision, and to tell him how sorry I was for my behavior, I smiled broadly.

  A troubled expression filled his face, and a sense of foreboding surged through me. He lifted Jackson from his carseat, then he turned to me with a frown. “We need to talk.”

  Chapter 22

  “What’s wrong?” I asked as I stood beside the car.

  “It’s my mom,” he said, his face somber.

  My heart stuttered in alarm. “What happened? Is she all right?”

  “No, she’s not.” A breath of air rushed from his mouth. “She has breast cancer.”

  I gasped, the news completely unexpected.