Reckless Abandon (Damaged #2)

by J. C. Hannigan

  Cadence watched me work, her eyes wide. "I've never seen anybody do so much at once!" she declared, her tiny voice sounding bewildered.

  I grinned over my shoulder. "I told you! I'm the king of breakfast," I reminded her, winking.

  Cadence started to giggle. She pointed at the stove. "How come that's on fire then?" she asked innocently, reminding me so much of Everly that it took my breath away. I looked back, noticing that the bacon was indeed smoking a lot.

  "That's alright. You can't mess up bacon. It's even better burnt," I told her, saving it from further destruction.

  "That's actually true." Everly's voice made my head snap back toward the living room. She was walking into the kitchen, dressed in one of my t-shirts and a pair of my boxers. My throat dried and my blood started to surge. I shook my head, trying to clear out all the suggestive thoughts. "Bacon tastes so much better when it's burnt."

  "You guys are gross." Cadence wrinkled her nose. "Why did we stay here last night?" she asked, turning her miss-nothing gaze to Everly. Everly seemed a little surprised. I remembered her mentioning that Cadence wasn't talking as much as usual.

  "It was snowing a lot. Besides, you fell asleep!" Everly sat beside Cadence in the other free stool. She hugged her close. "How did you sleep?"

  "Good," Cadence responded. "I had a dream about a man in a window though. It was scary."

  Everly exchanged a look with me and I shrugged. There was no sense in scaring a four-year-old by telling her that what scared her hadn't been a dream. "I once had a dream that I had a pet grizzly bear," I supplied.

  "Really?" Cadence giggled, a light smile on her face. "That's so silly!"

  Everly was watching our exchange with a bewildered expression on her face. A smile teased the corner of her lips, and she shook her head as if she couldn't believe what she was witnessing. I turned back to the stove, turning off the burners and loading down three plates with food.

  "She can't eat all that," Everly argued, seeing the massive pile of food I'd placed down in front of Cadence.

  "She doesn't have to." I shrugged. "But if she does, I'll give her a prize."

  Cadence seemed to perk up even more at my words. "What kind of prize?" she inquired, tilting her head as she patiently waited for me to respond.

  "You'll get to pick," I promised. I stood on the opposite side of the island, facing the two most beautiful women in the world and feeling happier than I ever had before.

  ***

  By the time we finished breakfast, the roads were freshly plowed and salted. It still didn't prevent me from following behind Everly just to make sure she got back to her parents’ house safely. I already said my goodbyes, so I resisted the urge to stop and follow them up to the house. The thought of encountering either of her parents right now just wasn't all that appealing.

  Instead, I drove to my dad's house.

  There was no doubt about it, Dad was enjoying his early retirement. When I pulled into the driveway, he was sliding down the man-made hill of ice and snow on a toboggan with my half-sisters, nine-year-old Chloe and six-year-old Jocelyn.

  "Hey, son!" Dad called, spotting me approaching them. Chloe and Jocelyn squealed, rushing towards me as quickly as they could manage in their bulky snowsuits and the deep snow. I allowed them to tackle me to the ground, like they always did. The snow felt cold against my jeans, but I didn't care. I was in an incredible mood.

  I lifted them both up effortlessly as I stood, done with letting them have the upper hand. I carried them back to the snowy lot, depositing them into a thick pile of snow from Dad's snow plow. I pushed a bunch of snow over with my bare hands, burying their laps deep in it so they had to wiggle frantically to get out. The second they'd freed themselves, they started to roll chunks of snow into balls. Thankfully, the snow wasn’t consistent enough and their snowballs turned to dust before they could even throw them. Still, their giggles were infectious, making an easy smile form on my lips.

  It wasn't always like this, me with my sisters. I resented them at first—or at least...the idea of them. I refused to allow myself to get close to them, harboring the anger and resentment I felt after the demise of my parents' marriage instead of appreciating the fact that I had siblings.

  I suppose in a roundabout way, I had Everly to thank. Before she showed me how to let people in, I didn't. I was like an abused dog, snapping at those who wanted to help me because I couldn't trust their intentions.

  It didn't come easy, this change. I disappeared, and when I returned, I saw how much I'd confused and hurt Chloe. She didn't understand where I had gone or why I hadn't come home for a long time. All the kid knew was that she loved me, and I'd cast the love aside in a selfish attempt at self-preservation.

  Reality was a cold stone bitch to swallow. I was still making up for the wounds I inflicted on those around me. My sisters had long since forgiven me—Dad and Vanessa too—but I still had a lot of work to do, particularly with Everly and Cadence.

  "Let's go inside and get some hot chocolate," Dad said, calling off the fun as he rubbed his hands together and approached us. My dad was an older copy of myself. His dark hair had more gray in it these days and his belly was a little rounder than it had been in his youth, but his blue eyes were as piercing as ever. The girls groaned in unison. "Now girls, we've been out here for two hours already! My old bones are cold!"

  "Alright." Chloe sighed before perking up. "You'll play Nintendo with me, won't you, Grayson?!"

  "Hey, what about me!" Jocelyn pouted.

  "You're too young for video games," Chloe said decidedly, giving Jocelyn a look of mock sympathy. "Sorry."

  "She's not too young for Mario Brothers," I corrected, allowing Chloe to tug me up toward the house. Jocelyn took my other hand. "And I will, but I want coffee first."

  Vanessa was already making hot chocolate for the girls when we came inside. Dad stepped up behind her, his hand creeping underneath the hem of her shirt. Vanessa squealed and slapped his arm, a good natured smile on her face. "Take these to your daughters. I'll put on some coffee," she said, shaking her head at him.

  Chloe and Jocelyn barely sat still long enough to finish half of their hot chocolate. Wiggling with impatience, Chloe looked at me with wide eyes the same color as mine and Dad's...and Cadence's. "Can I set up the game now?"

  "Alright, but I'm going to finish my coffee before I go up. Give me about ten minutes, okay?"

  "Fine." Chloe sighed dramatically before flying out of the kitchen, Jocelyn trailing behind her. I heard the sound of their footsteps racing up the stairs followed by their argumentative voices. Chloe was always trying to boss Jocelyn around, and Jocelyn was always trying to stand up to her. It amused me to hear them bickering.

  "So, what brings you for a visit?" Dad asked, cutting straight to the chase. He was sitting beside Vanessa with an arm causally and affectionately wrapped around her shoulders. It had taken me a long time to get used to this new version of my dad. He hadn't been the same way with my mom, and I used to resent it.

  I smirked. "Do I need a reason to visit?"

  "Usually, yes," Dad pointed out. "Problems with a job site?"

  "Nope, not at all actually. We're all good there," I answered. I drew in a breath and sat back in the oak chair. "You're right, though. I came here for a reason. I have news."

  Vanessa and Dad exchanged a look before focusing their attention back at me. "And what news is this?" Dad asked, his expression serious and dire.

  "Well, you're a grandpa, I guess." I shrugged, taking another deep sip of my coffee.

  Dad blinked at me without comprehension, and Vanessa let out a little gasp and covered her mouth to hide the surprised smile.

  "Pardon?" he leaned forward, his eyebrows knitting together as if he was trying to make sense of a complicated math equation.

  "I said you're a grandpa. I'm a dad."

  "Grayson, you're going to give us a little more detail than that," Vanessa scolded, her hand lowering to her collarbone. "Who is she? When i
s she due?"

  "She's not pregnant." I rolled my eyes. "Well, she was, five years ago. So, I have a four-year-old." I knew I was babbling, but I hadn't exactly rehearsed how I was going to tell my dad and step-mom about this. I'd hoped for a more eloquent speech, but my tongue wasn't cooperating with my brain.

  Realization dawned across Vanessa's pretty features. My step-mom was a beautiful woman with fair hair and gentle brown eyes. I'd wanted to hate her at first, but it was impossible. She was so loving and caring that you couldn't.

  "Everly?" she whispered. I looked up with surprise and nodded.

  "Everly doesn't have a kid," Dad argued.

  "Her sister did," Vanessa said, frowning.

  I shook my head, sighing. I ran my hands through my hair while I tried to think about how I was going to explain this one. "Everly couldn't take the baby on tour with the band, so her sister stayed home to take care of her. The lie started when Everly was trying to protect them from the media."

  Dad and Vanessa were both silent for several minutes, absorbing the news. They had absolutely no idea what to say to me. "So, what happens now?" Dad finally asked, peering up at me.

  "I don't really know," I answered truthfully, thinking about all the reservations I still saw in Everly's eyes. "But I want to be a part of their lives. I have a little girl...her name is Cadence."

  Vanessa gave my dad's hands a reassuring squeeze. He swallowed hard. "Do you have a picture?"

  I fished out the photo that Everly had given me of the two of them on a hammock at her place in LA. I'd taken it out of the frame so that I could easily keep it close to me, in my coat pocket. They gazed at it for several long moments.

  "She has the Dixon eyes. She looks just like you...and like Everly," Dad finally said, handing the photo back. "I can't believe I've been a grandpa all these years and haven't known it."

  "I can't believe I've been a father all these years and haven't known it," I retorted dryly, putting the photo back into my coat pocket.

  "Why didn't she tell you?" Dad asked, his voice accusatory.

  "She came by," Vanessa interjected. "I didn’t know she was pregnant… but she came by looking for Grayson and I had no information to give her."

  I bowed my head, accepting the wave of shame. "Yeah, well. My bad?"

  "Grayson." Dad's voice was torn between supportive and accusatory. He knew I'd received the shock of my life when I got that news, and that I was burning with the need to fix it all.

  "Anyway, I'd like for you to meet her, but she's been through a major trauma and we're just going to play things by ear. See how she's doing and what not. I was hoping I could extend the Christmas dinner invitation to Everly and Cadence, if they're up for it."

  "Of course," Vanessa said, quickly nodding. "We'd love to have them, and we understand. She's been through a lot." We all fell silent, thinking about the deadly accident that had taken Julia's life and nearly Cadence's.

  "This probably goes without saying, but I need this to stay a secret a while longer, so don't put out a congratulations notice in the newspaper or anything like that." I sighed, rubbing my temple. "Oh...and Dad? I might need some time off for a bit. You know, to get to know my daughter," I told him, the corner of my lips teasing upward in a smile.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Everly

  LOVE AT A FUNERAL...

  Looks like Everly Daniels sought comfort from an old flame while home for a family member's funeral. We wonder what Kyle has to say about this!

  The ice gathered in my chest as my eyes roamed the headline, breathing suddenly felt impossible.

  I woke up to a hundred text messages and missed calls from Aubrey, Kyle, Marcus, even Cam. The guys had obsessively asked if I was okay, and Aubrey had been the only one to blatantly tell me that I was trending on Twitter.

  I wanted to know what they were saying. I wanted to know how I needed to protect myself, so I pulled a rookie move. I sat down at the kitchen island and used my mom's laptop to Google my name.

  I wasn't exactly sure what I expected to see, but it certainly wasn't a grainy photo of Grayson pressing me against my parent’s car outside of my sister's old rental. The passion was evident on both of our faces.

  The primitive moment of longing was definitely not meant to be caught on camera, nor was it meant to be on every gossip website on the Internet. I swallowed hard.

  Worse still, were the supposed photos of Kyle looking completely gutted and destroyed. The article definitely painted the believable tale that I had moved on with another man, and that maybe my wandering eyes were the reason a brokenhearted Kyle called off our supposed upcoming wedding. The whole thing was laughable; Kyle and I weren't together and we'd never been together, but our fans didn't know that. My phone started to ring again. I picked it up, seeing Kyle's name on the screen.

  "Everly, apparently I am supposed to say something about your relationship with another man or something?" Kyle's voice was full of amusement. "I say...congratulations and all that! Also, kudos to the media for retouching that photo of me from three years ago. Looks authentic, huh?"

  Kyle meant to lighten the mood, but I barely relaxed at his words. Even though my close family and friends all knew the truth, the rest of the world didn't.

  "Kyle, I'm tired of these articles. We need to address them."

  "I agree completely. I can't very well propose to my girlfriend when I'm constantly reassuring her that the tabloids are full of shit," he added, the first hints of frustration lining his words.

  "Wait, you were going to propose?" I'd known things were serious between them for a while, but I hadn't known that it was marriage serious.

  "Are," Kyle corrected. "Once I get the balls. Oh, and once we deal with this media shit storm. Plenty of time to clear the air when we go on the Margo Morning Show, right?"

  "Yeah," I sighed, massaging my temple warily. Both the interview and the meeting with Brent had been consistently on my mind for days now. Luckily, Maddie had already handled all of that. All I really needed to do now was call Maddie and find out when the flight times were.

  "Relax." Kyle chuckled.

  I wilted with guilt, thinking about the bomb I was about to drop on the rest of the guys."I'm as relaxed as I can get, Kyle. I've been dealing with stuff here. Cadence has had a lot of appointments and—"

  "Right, it's all good," Kyle assured me. "Listen, Everly…I'm mostly calling to tell you to chill out. If I know you like I know you, you're freaking out right now." I snorted with agreement. "Don't let it get to you."

  "I'll try, boss." I sighed.

  "Good. The guys and I are already back in LA. I've talked to them about everything, and they're...processing it but they do get it."

  "Ugh, I wish I could have been there to tell them too," I exhaled. "I just won't have time when I fly in. It's the meeting with the lawyer and Brent, then the interview...which I'll see you guys at?"

  "You definitely will, doll face," Kyle said with jest.

  I rolled my eyes, smiling. "I might bring Grayson, Kyle..." I rubbed the bridge of my nose. I was not looking forward to dealing with that particular hurdle.

  I could hear the disapproval over the phone even though Kyle hadn’t made a sound. He waited a moment, likely collecting himself. I knew he wasn't about to lecture me on how to handle this complicated situation I was in, but I also knew his hatred of Grayson ran deep.

  Kyle and I were friends and bandmates, and Kyle once carried a torch for me. I think he resented Grayson for years, for capturing my heart and then breaking it; leaving me in pieces. That was all water under the bridge now. Kyle was happily taken and apparently, about to propose to her any day now.

  "Well, if that's what you need to do," he said shortly. "I've gotta go. Have a meeting with the label. I'll send your regards."

  "Thanks, Kyle," I whispered.

  "No problem. I'll call you later," Kyle said before he hung up.

  I placed the phone down on the island. My eyes fluttered back to the comput
er again, to the open browser. The mouse hovered close to the exit button.

  "What are you doing?" Mom's voice startled me.

  I automatically clicked exit and closed the laptop. "Nothing, just checking some emails," I answered, my spine stiffening. After our terse phone conversation the other night, I hadn't really gotten a chance to talk to her alone. We usually had an audience, by way of Cadence or Dad. Right now, we were perfectly alone in the early light of dawn.

  Mom walked the rest of the way into the kitchen, pausing to grab herself a mug down from the cupboard for her habitual morning cup of coffee. She measured out scoops of beans into the filter. While the coffee maker did its thing, she finally turned around to face me. Leaning back against the counter, she looked at me with her large eyes full of sorrow.

  "I'm sorry for snapping at you the other night," she said, her lips drawn downward. My mom had changed a lot in the past few weeks. She'd lost some weight and her eyes had more lines around them. Both of my parents had aged with their grief. "I was just...worried."

  "I get it, Mom, I do," I assured her. "But...you need to let it go. Things are obviously going to have to change. Grayson deserves to know her and she deserves to know him too. We're taking things slow..." Or at least, as slow as Grayson and I were capable of taking things.

  "I just worry, that’s all." Mom sighed. "And I guess not knowing what your plan is set me off too. You can't just play house anymore, Everly. Your sister isn't here anymore to handle everything that she handled..." Mom’s voice caught on the pain.

  "I know what I have to do, Mom," I said gently, not wanting to upset her further. "I'm meeting with my lawyer and the label Thursday afternoon. I'll be putting my house on the market and getting my assets handled there. It might take some time," I warned. "Then I'll start looking for a house out here...and I'll figure everything else out."