Reckless Abandon (Damaged #2)

by J. C. Hannigan

  "Right." I smirked.

  "What?" He shot me a look. "It was my favorite movie growing up. Ariel is hot." He shrugged as if it couldn't be helped. His eyes danced with amusement. My breath caught in my throat as I stood, captivated by him. "What is it?" he asked, his smile fading slightly.

  I took a moment to consider my words before I replied. "In high school, there was a storm brewing behind your eyes more often than not. Torture, pain, anger, passion...and very rarely the carefree happiness and lightness that I see right now..." I trailed off, shaking my head.

  "It's because I have you back, and I'm not going to fuck it up this time." He swallowed hard and stepped toward me. His face was like an open book to all the emotion he felt. All the need, all the love and the vulnerability he felt in that moment was written as clearly as if they were words on a page.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Grayson

  IT HAD BEEN A LONG, slow and tedious process to let go of the bitter resentment and hatred I carried around with me for so long, and I hadn't even realize how much progress I had made until Everly came back into my life. Maybe it was because of her, or maybe something just clicked in me, realigning everything so it all made more sense. Whatever it was, I was thankful for it. It felt good to be free; it felt good to embrace the goodness with her...and with Cadence.

  She stood staring at me for several long minutes, a bewildered look on her face as if she had realized that I truly did mean everything I said, and it wasn't just her trying to romanticize things. I tilted my head, curious. "Is everything okay?"

  "Everything is fine," she said after finally dropping her gaze, but not before she gave me a secret smile. "Let's go."

  I followed her through the confusing maze of the airport, my eyes constantly coming back to her perfect ass in those sinful tights.

  "The label sent the company jet," she told me, turning to speak to me over her shoulder while she continued walking. She caught me checking out her assets and grinned slowly. "I think you'll love it," she added mischievously. I smirked, eagerly lapping up that suggestion.

  One bonus of the company sending their jet was that our wait time was significantly shorter than the wait time of any other travelers that morning—within ten minutes, the flight attendants were letting us board. Once inside, I could easily see the multiple bonuses that came from flying in a company jet.

  It was absolutely nothing like flying commercial. There were about eight full swivel seats and so much leg room I couldn’t help but relax into the seat as the pilot prepared for takeoff. The flight attendant showed us where the exits were and gave a run down on what to do in case of an emergency. I completely tuned her out, not needing to add any more fuel to the fire when it came to my anxiety toward flying.

  "Please keep your seat belts on while we take off," the pilot instructed as the flight attendant disappeared to wherever it was flight attendants went when they weren’t roaming the cabin showing us how to buckle up.

  I gripped the armrests of the chair tight enough to turn my knuckles white and send a shock of pain up through my nailbeds. I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore the unpleasant lurching sensation in my stomach. It felt as if I had left my stomach on the ground when we took off.

  "Is everything okay, Grayson?" Everly's voice was lined with concern.

  "Yup," I croaked in response. I knew she didn't buy it for a minute. A moment later, the most ridiculous Cheshire-cat smile spread on her face. "Are you enjoying this?" I grunted, closing my eyes as the jet hit turbulence and rocked back and forth.

  "Of course not." Her strange smile faded quickly and she bit her lip to keep it away. I couldn't argue with her; I was too busy trying not to throw up the empty contents of my stomach. I didn't know what was worse, the sensation of leaving it behind, or the sudden sensation of it shooting back to me like a goddamn boomerang.

  Half an hour later, the jerking movements stopped and the pilot informed us that we were now free to move around the cabin. The flight attendant quickly stopped by to offer us refreshments and after fetching us a glass of water each, she left us on our own again. I couldn't speak until I'd had several sips of my water. My throat was too dry.

  "I thought you were afraid of heights. How do you fly so calmly?" I demanded, finally finding my voice.

  "I am still afraid of heights," she admitted. "I just don't think about it. Flying is just a part of the job." She shrugged. She couldn’t seem to stop the smile from touching those plump lips again. "Cadence is a calmer flyer than you."

  "Well, how many times has she done it before?"

  "A lot." She smiled. "Julia would bring her out several times every year. She loves the plane."

  "She definitely doesn't get that from me," I remarked. Before Everly could respond, we hit turbulence again. It only lasted a few minutes, but my body was rigid with anxiety.

  "Besides," she added, leaning forward so that she was closer to me. My eyes slowly opened, heat rolling beneath them as I noticed the playful glint to hers. "It's much easier to join the mile high club. The bathroom in this jet is a little bigger."

  My eyebrows shot up, almost disappearing into my hairline. My fear of flying seemed to fade almost completely, drowned out by the way Everly was suggestively looking at me and biting that bottom lip.

  "Are you a part of that club already?" I asked, scowling against the intrusive thought of her tangled up in someone else.

  "No." She smiled slowly. "Not yet, anyway. Hopefully, you can change that for me. I've never been a part of a club before..." She winked.

  With that bold statement, she stood up and ran her hands along the tops of her thighs before slowly strutting over to the bathroom. I waited for a few minutes, my hands gripping the arm rests. I glanced around the cabin, convinced someone would see me and tell me to get back to my seat. The cabin remained empty though.

  "Fuck it," I declared, unbuckling my seatbelt and going after her.

  The door was unlocked, and she was leaning against the sink with a teasing smile on her face. Her jeans and t-shirt lay in a discarded rolled up ball against the rather large counter. It was clear from her lack of clothes and the seductive smile on her face that she'd been anticipating this moment.

  I swallowed hard, taking in the sight of Everly before me in only a matching pink lace bra and panties.

  I closed the door quickly, sliding the lock into place. My heart was hammering in my chest and my pants were straining from the desire I felt for her.

  She approached me slowly, her hips swaying enticingly with each step. Her arms wound around my neck, and she pressed her body against mine.

  My hands gripped her hips and I pulled her against my pelvis, loving the feel of her body against mine.

  Part of me wanted to tell her to slow down, but the primitive part within was stronger in that moment, and I silenced my own thoughts by crashing my mouth to Everly's, feeding upon her like the starving man I was.

  I wasn't an idiot; I knew what Everly was doing. She was trying to help me relax—she was trying to distract me. She knew I hated flying, and she was trying to give me something I'd enjoy about the experience. I fucking loved her for it.

  It was the same tactic she'd used when we were together before. Any time my hangups started to get in the way, she'd work her body just right to make me let go of everything. All my fears, my doubts, my self-hatred and my insecurities disappeared in the wake of the magical spell her presence evoked.

  People say that relationships shouldn't be all about sex, but sex was the one thing that I always got right. It was the one thing that came easily to me and always had. I didn't have to talk, I didn't have to think. I could just lose myself completely, let my body take over and do whatever felt right.

  Her hands dropped down to unbuckle my jeans, freeing me from my boxers. She shoved them down over my hips, taking my hard long length into her soft hand. She squeezed and slowly pumped her fist. My eyes rolled into the back of my head from the agonizing throbbing pleasure of the motion.


  I tried to tell myself I'd go slower with her the next time, but it wasn't possible in this moment. Not with where we were, not with how sexy she looked in that lacy thong. I didn't even bother trying to take them off her. I lifted her up, pushing her thong to the side before I sank deep into her. She was tight and wet, as ready for me as I was for her.

  ***

  I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face for the remainder of the flight. I was absolutely sure that the flight attendant knew exactly what we were up to in there. Thankfully, she had enough tact to pretend she didn't.

  The grin didn't fade until the pilot announced that we needed to remain in our seats during landing. The jet started to shake as it made its descent to the runway at Los Angeles International Airport, and the color instantly faded from my face.

  Everly giggled behind her hand, taking delight from my anxiety.

  "What?" I all but growled.

  She dropped her hand, still smiling. "It's nice to see that something unnerves you."

  "A lot of things unnerve me." I frowned, not understanding what she was insinuating.

  She shook her head, her smile changing into one of sadness. "You've always appeared so calm and in control."

  I blinked at her. She couldn't be further from the truth. I’d always been a swirling mess of emotions, mostly anger and resentment or sadness and self-loathing. But regardless, I definitely wasn’t calm and in control of everything. I suppose I was good at putting on a stoic mask and just not expressing myself, but still. She had to have known just how out of control I'd always felt when it came to her.

  "Well, I'm not," I said, the words sticking in my throat. She met my gaze and a somber, knowing look passed across the green depths of her eyes.

  Once we'd made it through customs and security, Everly lead the way over to her personal assistant. The girl had dark hair and sharp bangs, and a polished look about her. She arched an eyebrow appreciatively at me, but I ignored her, my attention instead focused on the two massive men flanking either side of her. Everly had told me there would be security guards waiting for us at the airport, but I hadn't really anticipated them being crazy amped up muscle heads. I couldn't help but feel a little threatened. I knew it was customary, but still. Didn't she feel safe enough with me?

  "Welcome back to LA," the girl said as we approached.

  "Thanks," Everly responded, stretching slightly to work out the kinks in her neck while I stood awkwardly at her side. I almost felt out of place, and I definitely didn't like it. "This is Grayson Dixon. Grayson, this is my personal assistant Maddie and these two scary looking fellows are actually harmless teddy bears named Creed and Landon," she said, gesturing to the two men. The first one, Creed, chuckled while the second one seemed to glower at Everly's assessment.

  "Alright, now I know you've had a lot going on, but I wanted to keep you updated on things with the tour and the new album," Maddie started, wincing slightly. She appeared uneasy with the mention of work. Everly smiled at her encouragingly. "The numbers for Autumn Fields’ new release, In Tandem, are through the roof, Everly! The song blew up faster than anything you guys have done before."

  "Awesome," Everly remarked, forcing a smile to her lips. I knew she was excited about the band’s success, but I couldn't miss the obvious hesitation any time someone reported back with numbers and stats. It was obvious that she was dealing with a lot of feelings of guilt over her decision to walk away.

  "I know, right? Anyway, your meeting with Haskell and Brent is at five tonight. We'll head straight there; the traffic is nuts today, but we’ll get there in time." Maddie fired out her updates in rapid succession, barely looking up to register if we were listening as our party of five started walking out of the airport.

  I was suddenly aware of why celebrities needed security guards. So many people in the airport turned to stare and snap photos, and many of them tried to come closer. Creed and Landon pushed through the crowds with professional precision.

  "A car will be there to pick you up at six tomorrow morning for the Margo Show—you know the routine. The guys will all be there too. Margo wants you to perform In Tandem during the halfway point, before she brings out Deegan Redford."

  "Deegan Redford?" I interrupted, impressed. Everly sent me a patient smile and I shrugged apologetically. Deegan Redford was a blockbuster hit actor who mainly starred in action and thriller movies. He was a couple years older than we were, but I was a fan of his movies. Then again, most guys were considering that the main plots generally consisted of blowing shit up and showing off hot women.

  "Yup. So Margo wants to interview you guys, then you'll perform, then we can get out of there. Your flight has been booked for Sunday morning at seven, but it will be on a commercial flight as the label needs the jet," Maddie continued on, barely sparing me a look. Neither Everly or Maddie seemed phased by the potential of running into one of the biggest actors in Hollywood. I suppose it was because they were used to seeing famous people. Everly was one, after all.

  "Alright, that's fine," Everly said as we stepped outside. The warm LA sun was beating down on us. Taxis weaved in and out with ruthless maneuvers that intimidated even me. It was a completely different planet than our small hometown in Canada.

  "Perfect! Try not to sweat your meeting with Brent, okay? Haskell will be there, so there shouldn't be any problems." Maddie gave Everly a sympathetic look that set me on edge. Why would she be worried about a meeting with her agent?

  "Fine," Everly gritted out. I sent her a questioning gaze. Everly shook her head, forcing a smile to convey that she didn't want to get into it at the moment. I nodded once, my jaw locking in aggravation.

  "I'll be there too," Maddie assured her. We came to a stop in front of a nondescript black car. The driver had already jumped out of his seat and came around to hold the door open for us. I went to put the bags in the open and waiting trunk, but the driver quickly stepped forward to coax them out of my hands.

  "I'll see you at the studio," Maddie added, hesitating momentarily before she threw her arms around Everly. "I'm glad you're doing okay... given everything."

  Everly nodded her thanks, pulling away so she could climb into the car. I followed behind her, my jaw still working.

  "So, what's this Brent guy's deal?" I demanded, scowling.

  "He's just an asshole. I hate dealing with him." Everly sighed. She forced another smile. "I only have to worry about it for a little longer though, right?"

  "I guess so..." I said doubtfully.

  "How do you like LA so far?" Everly questioned brightly, trying to divert my attention and change the topic.

  "It makes me feel emasculated," I responded with a smirk, gesturing with a nod of my head towards the driver.

  "Questioning your manhood already?" Everly arched a brow. "You're really going to hate LA then. The guys wear tighter jeans than me and everyone has a toy dog."

  I winced and Everly couldn't help but laugh at the expression on my face.

  "I guess I shouldn't buy you skinny jeans just yet, huh?"

  "Nope. Hold that order," I replied dryly as the driver merged the car into the flow of traffic, and we left the airport.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Everly

  THE MEETING TOOK nearly two and a half hours. Brent Woodstock's tight tanned face, the subject of many Botox treatments and vigorous tanning sessions, had appeared pinched as he glowered at me over the solid black walnut desk in his office. His hard, black eyes focused intently on my face and I wanted to disappear. Dealing with Brent on a regular day made my stomach twist with disgust, but today it had been exceptionally difficult given the reason for the meeting.

  My lawyer, Tim Haskell, made the meeting go a lot smoother. Brent was on his best behavior, and there was really nothing he could say or do about it. We'd come to an agreement about paying the fines, but I still knew how pissed he was from the animosity rolling off him in waves.

  He wasn't ready for his star puppet to cut the strings. Even
though our contract was up for renewal, he was expecting us to sign back on.

  I was beyond relieved when the meeting was finally over and everything was handled. I still had to do the interview with The Margo Show; now we'd have to break it to the fans that the tour was off. People would likely be pissed about it, if Brent's reaction was any indication of that, but I was desperately hanging on to the thread of hope that the fans would understand.

  The drive to my house was almost silent, allowing me some time to mull over the meeting and everything else while Grayson took in the scenery along the way. I just had to get through the interview, sell the house, and then I could leave all this behind me.

  I wasn't sure how I felt. It was definitely what I wanted; I wanted to focus on Cadence—I needed to focus on her—but I couldn't help but feel sad about the end of an era, the end of a dream I'd been chasing for years.

  When the guys and I first started making waves, the record label bought us a house to live in when we weren't on tour. It was located near the studio, ensuring that there would be no excuses for late arrivals on recording days.

  I lived with them for two years. Living with the band was just as aggravating as traveling with them. I loved Kyle, Marcus and Cam. They were great guys who loved music and worked hard and they never let me down when it came to music, but I grew sick and tired of living in what felt like a fraternity house. Watching them bring home girls and party all the time got old really fast. I was constantly walking in on things I didn't want to see, constantly irritated by anything that they did. I was grumpy and horrible to live with. I decided the best thing for me to do would be to buy my own place, and I did.

  I had money, and lots of it. I covered all of Cadence's expenses and then some, but that wasn't even a portion of my income. I knew I could easily afford a house in Los Angeles, and I knew that the investment would be a positive one for me to make. I knew that when I eventually sold this place, I'd bring in almost double what I'd paid for it, strictly on the grounds that I had lived there.