by S A Clayton
“Seriously, Harper?”
I cringe, knowing what’s coming.
“I hate to break it to you, but soon he’s going to find out on his own and then it will be too late,” she mutters, handing me my coffee and sitting down on the couch next to my desk.
“What do you mean?”
“Babe, there’s been too much time between when you got them and when you eventually tell him—if you ever do. If he finds out you kept something like this from him, I will guarantee that he won’t be happy.”
Fuck, I’m screwed.
“Harper,” she says curtly, my eyes flicking up to meet hers. “You need to tell him before it’s too late.”
She gets up and walks out of my office and I know she’s right. I sit back at my desk, looking at the clock and wondering if I should bother Josh now. Should I just wait until he’s back from his trip? Should I even contemplate doing this over the phone. I shake all the doubt out of my head and pull out my phone, bringing up Josh’s number and texting him that I need to talk to him.
Mel’s right.
I need to do this before it’s too late.
“Buttercup, can you come here for a second?”
I put the schedule I’ve been trying to figure out for the past few hours down on my desk and make my way into Henry’s office.
“What’s up?” I ask, leaning against the doorjamb as I take in how much of a mess his office is. Sometimes the stark contrast between Henry and my dad is staggering. If Dad’s office looked anything like what I’m looking at right now, he’d stop everything and clean it until there wasn’t a paper out of place.
“Stop looking at me like that,” he mutters, not looking up from the paperwork in front of him. “I know this room is a mess, I know you want to comment on it but for the sake of both of our sanities, let’s just leave it alone.”
If it weren’t for the big smile on his face, I would have backed out and left him alone. But I stay and try to ignore the gut feeling I have to pick up all the papers that are strewn all over the floor and chairs.
“Fine. What do you need?” I ask again, hoping to get out of this room as soon as possible.
“Can you bring these contracts to Mel for me?” He hands me a folder full of paper and I eye him questioningly.
“What are these for?”
“They’re lease agreements.”
I open my mouth to argue that she isn’t supposed to pay rent yet, not until she gets her feet under her, but Henry holds up his hand to get me to stop. “I know she’s not paying me right now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a contract that is legally binding. In those papers it states that she has a year of rent-free space and after that year is up, she will have to pay a fee that we both will negotiate fairly at the time.”
I take a breath and sink back against the doorframe.
“Now, bring those to her so she can sign them, so we can get all this legal shit done and over with.”
I nod my head, leaving his office and heading upstairs.
“Mel!” I scream over the loud music that’s blaring from inside what her office will be. When she doesn’t answer, I smirk, walking over to the doorway and see that she’s dancing while also trying to paint the back wall. I walk over to her phone and turn off the music just as she spins on her heels.
“What the—” she mutters right before she sees me and starts laughing. “You scared the shit out of me.”
I quietly laugh as I head farther into the room and lean against the desk that is currently sitting against the only painted wall.
“You know, painting might be easier when you stop dancing and actually paint,” I mock, smiling when she sticks out her tongue like a four-year-old. “It looks good though.” My eyes scanning the room and taking in her design choices.
“Thanks,” she says, putting down her roller and walking toward me. “What brings you up here?”
I hand her the file and she opens it, smiling.
“You know he said he would draft these up a week ago. I’m guessing from the state of his office that he’s a bit behind?” she mocks, as I smile, nodding in agreement.
Just then my phone vibrates in my pocket and when I see that it’s an email from Henry and not a text from Josh, I sigh, my shoulders sagging.
“What’s up?” Mel asks, sitting down on one of the office chairs in the corner. “You seem bummed.”
“I texted Josh that I wanted to talk to him,” I say, looking at my phone one more time to see if he at least read the text, but still nothing.
“That’s good! What did he say?” Her enthusiasm is making my nerves even worse the longer I know he hasn’t answered me.
“Nothing.”
“What do you mean ‘nothing’? Like he hasn’t answered you?”
I nod, saying nothing. “But that doesn’t mean anything babe, maybe he’s busy?”
I thought that too, for the first couple of hours. But it’s been almost five and still nothing.
“Yeah… maybe,” I mumble, putting my phone back in my pocket and trying to forget about the fact that my boyfriend might be ignoring me.
“Call him,” Mel states as if I hadn’t thought of that seventeen times in the last hour.
When I don’t answer, she gets up off the chair and makes her way toward me.
“What’s stopping you?”
What is stopping me? I know if I call, I have a better chance of figuring out what’s going on, but not calling will also slowly drive me insane.
“I’m scared it’s over.”
Mel tilts her head and holds out her hand. When I look at her, confused, she smiles and tells me to hand her my phone.
“No, you’re not calling him for me.”
“Fine, then do it yourself but I want to listen.”
I take a deep breath and decide I need to do this or I’ll go insane all night. I pull up Josh’s number and I start to pace as the phone rings and rings and rings, my chest tightening as his voice mail kicks on. When I look up at Mel, her eyes are filled with pity, and I know I need answers. Now.
So I do the only thing I can think to do, I call Will. When he picks up on the first ring, I know something’s wrong.
“What do you want, Harper?” Will grunts as I start to pace once again.
“Do you know where Josh is? I really need to talk to him.” I sink against the wall, my heart racing.
“Josh doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”
Everything around me stops. I’m too late. He knows.
“Will, please let me talk to him. I need to know he’s okay. I’ve been worried.” I hear mumbles in the background and then I hear Will pass the phone to someone. My heart is in my throat as I wait for his voice.
“What do you want, Harper?”
I recoil, hearing the way my name escapes from his lips. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my heart. At least he’s okay.
“I wanted to talk to you. I haven’t heard from you all day, I texted…” I plead, hating the sarcastic cackle that leaves his throat.
“I think you have a very good idea as to why I can’t stand the sound of your voice right now, you lied to me Harper. Outright lied and that hurts more than the fact the pictures exist.” He hangs up and I’m left staring at the wall, my hands shaking as I start to wonder what the hell I’m going to do.
“Harper…” I hear Mel say as I make my way back downstairs and back into the gym.
I see Angela’s blonde hair and self-satisfied smile. When she sees the tears in my eyes and my phone clutched in my hands she sneers, “Trouble in paradise? How shocking. Now he can focus on someone that actually deserves him.”
I know I need to take everything she says with a grain of salt but when I look into her eyes, I lose it. I storm over to where she’s standing, push her up against the wall and make sure my elbow cuts off most of her air supply.
“What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Say?” I say slowly as that sneering look comes across her face. I push my elbow harder into her throat
and I puff out my chest when her eyes bulge and her breathing begins to struggle. “Tell me again right now or I will fuck up that face so bad no one will know who the fuck you are,” I threaten.
At that moment, I notice that the whole gym has gone silent, but I keep my eyes on Angela.
“Harper!” Henry yells from across the gym. “Get off her right now!”
Fuck that. I don’t let her go, if anything I push that much harder.
“Sorry Henry, I can’t. This needs to happen, she’s fucked with my life enough.” I look at Angela and see the color starting to drain from her face. I lift my arm slightly and watch as she gasps for air.
Angela sneers, which makes me start to shake with anger. “Maybe he finally found out what you’ve been hiding all these months, huh?”
I see red as I think back to what Josh probably thinks right now.
“How do you know about those?” I whisper, almost to myself
She smirks, pushes me away from her and holds her throat, massaging the skin.
“I have my sources…” she teases and then adds. “He hates being lied to, you know… what a shame.”
I lose it. Before I know what I’m doing, my fist connects with her face and a searing pain radiates through my hand.
“Harper! Leave. Now,” I hear Henry say as he places a hand on my shoulder, grounding me back into reality. I look around and I wish I hadn’t. Everyone is watching me with a mixture of pity and horror on their faces.
What have I done?
20
Josh
My phone vibrates again, and I glance over and see that it’s another text from Harper. I spent the night with Will getting shit-faced, even when he told me I would regret it later, and right now, squinting at the morning light through my hotel window is reminding me why I don’t do this anymore.
Harper: Please call me.
I shake my head and throw my phone on the bed as I make my way into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I scald my body, hoping it numbs the pain I’m feeling right now, remembering what happened last night. I was pissed when I saw the photos, I was upset when I found out that Harper was lying to me for weeks but when I saw that email and didn’t know who it was? I was livid.
The second I landed and got a hold of Justin and my lawyer, they had already sent the email off to someone who might be able to figure out where it came from, but they said it could take days or weeks. Depending on how good the person was at hiding their tracks. My hands brace against the shower wall as the hot water cascades over my shaking body. I know I need to talk to Harper, I know I need to hear her out but right now all I want to do is throw something against a wall.
Just as I get out of the shower, I hear my phone go off again and I groan, picking it up and placing it against my ear. “I told you I didn’t want to talk to you!”
There’s silence on the other end before a voice I wasn’t expecting starts speaking.
“Is that any way to talk to your mother, Joshua Miller Anderson?”
Shit.
“Sorry, Mom, that wasn’t meant for you.”
She laughs before she says, “I would hope not. Now who are you so mad at that you would talk to them that way?”
I shake my head, folding the towel around my waist as I flop back down on the bed.
“No one, Mom.” That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told and from the sounds coming from the other end of the line, she knows it.
“Has this anything to do with your girlfriend?”
I sit up, wondering how she knows about any of this.
“You guys are not very careful when you’re out, son.”
My heart starts to race and my hands start to shake thinking that the photos got out.
“I mean, making out outside a movie theater? You couldn’t do that in the comfort of your own home?”
“Mom…” I can’t help the smile that crosses my face picturing my mother seeing these photos.
“What happened? The only reason you could be this grumpy would be trouble in paradise.”
I hate that she’s so observant, even when she’s thousands of miles away. I spent the next few minutes spilling all the details and before long I’m out of breath and mad all over again.
“How can I look her in the eye when I know what she hid from me?” I ask more to myself than to my mother.
“Honey, you need to step out of the anger you’re feeling for one second and see things from her perspective.”
“I know she was trying to protect me.”
“Yes, I knew that from the second you told me what happened. That girl is doing everything in her power to protect you and your career.”
My career? What does that have to do with this?
“Really Josh, are you so far into your anger that you can’t see that that girl did what she did so you wouldn’t get bad press?”
I take a deep breath as the realization sinks in.
“It still doesn’t erase the fact that she lied to me for weeks, Mom, weeks!”
She sighs as if I’m the one being irrational.
“Josh, sweetie. I know you’re angry and you have every right to be. I just don’t want you to throw away a love like this over something so petty.”
“Love? Who said anything about love?” The second the word leaves my mouth my chest tightens and my palms get sweaty.
“Josh, I know you’re a man and sometimes you need a little push here and there to get your feelings in order, but I know you love that girl. You wouldn’t be this angry if you didn’t.”
Fuck.
I’m in love with Harper Stevens.
And I’m pissed at her.
21
Harper
Mel: Get off your ass and let me in.
I see the text from Mel as I shoot out of Josh’s bed and make my way into the living room. I must have fallen asleep here last night and I don’t remember making it into the bedroom. I look down and notice I’m wearing one of his shirts and the tears start to form again.
I’m pushed into the apartment as Mel storms through, coffees in hand, making her way into the kitchen.
“I brought refreshments!” she says, setting down a bag on the island and taking out Chinese food containers along with a couple bottles of wine.
The clock on the stove tells me it’s after three in the afternoon and I silently berate myself for sleeping the entire day away. Henry is going to kill me when I see him.
“How did you know I was here?” I ask, opening the food and grabbing some plates from the cabinet behind me. Mel looks at me sheepishly as I cross my arms, waiting. “Who did you call?” I ask, afraid of the answer.
“I may have called Will.”
I raise an eyebrow at the mention of her having Will’s cell number because this is a very interesting development.
“It’s nothing, okay?” she says as I shake my head, smiling. “We’re just hanging out.”
“Right…” I tease, but she just ignores me and plates the food for herself.
“After I talked to Will, he found out that Josh gave you a key to his apartment, and since I knew you would be wallowing, I figured this is where you would be. So, I asked him for the address.”
“Great story,” I mutter, taking a huge bite of fried rice as my stomach growls because I haven’t eaten a full meal in a few days.
“You fucked up, huh?”
I glare at my best friend, but it does nothing to deter her from continuing to throw it in my face.
“I’m not going to say I told you so…”
“Then don’t.”
“But I told you so.”
I groan. As if I needed a reminder of how much I screwed up.
“Harper, you need to give him time. I know it seems impossible right now, but he will come around.”
God, I hope so.
“I don’t know if he will,” I admit, thinking back to that last phone call. “You didn’t hear him when we talked. He wants nothing to do with me.” I grab the bottle of wine an
d open it, my coffee forgotten because I need something to take the edge off the pain that is searing through me. “I really screwed up.” I take a swig of wine directly from the bottle as Mel watches with pity.
“Then why are you hiding in his apartment?” Her eyebrows quirk as I turn away. “Harper, it’s okay to admit that you miss him, or have feelings for him.”
I laugh because that’s not what this is about.
“Of course I have feelings for him, I wouldn’t be this upset if I didn’t. Do you want to know why I’m here? Because I deserve to be reminded every minute of what I lost, of what I caused. I deserve to feel this crushing pain that’s sitting on my chest and I deserve to look around me and only be reminded of him.” The tears start and I look down at my clasped hands. “But…”
“But what?” she whispers, walking over and taking my hands in hers.
“I guess I’m hoping that if I’m here when he gets home that he’ll change his mind, that if I’m not here, he’ll just forget about me.”
She’s silent for a minute before her laughter starts to fill the room. My eyes dart to her, staring daggers in her direction.
“I’m not going to deny that you fucked up big time, but listen to me.”
I look at her as the tears start to fall once again, and she smiles sadly as she wraps her arms around me.
“He adores you. I can see it every time he looks at you.”
I shake my head, but she continues.
“He’s falling in love with you, and I honestly think you’ve fallen in love with him too, you’re just scared of it. You have to give him time.”
I know she’s right, but the idea of the unknown is crushing me slowly.
“When does he get home?”
I look down at my phone. “Tomorrow morning.”
“Okay, we have less than twenty-four hours to get your shit back together.”
I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. “What if I don’t want to get my shit together?” I deserve this. I did this to him… to us. I’m the one that’s causing all the problems, so maybe he’s right, maybe they’re all right, maybe he’s better off without me. The idea of not seeing Josh again makes me physically ill, but maybe it’s better if we call it quits now before any real feelings get involved. “You know what?” I say, getting up and putting the rest of the food back in the fridge. “I’m not really in the mood to talk tonight, I think I’m going to go back to bed since I have to be at work early tomorrow.”