Police Memories

by Bill Williams

  There were often fights and arguments amongst the customers as was the occasion on the night in question. Claude was well known and entered and shouted for everyone to be quiet and go home quietly. There was one youth who would not behave he began to shout abuse and use threats. The officer with Claude’s was about to arrest him when Claude indicated him to take no action as he felt once things kicked off they might end up being eaten.

  The peace was kept to a degree and the youth continued to shout, a look from Claude at the shop owners son ensured the man’s meal was delivered first. Once he was eating and his mouth occupied the youth became quiet, Claude and his fellow officer left but drove up the road. They parked the police car in the dark street near where the obnoxious youth lived.

  The officers waited and in the darkness saw the four youths approaching. As they walked along they began to split up until there was only one, the offending one.

  Claude knew him and where he lived; he also knew the others and knew where they lived. As he approached, Claude left the police car and stood in his black uniform in the darkness.

  As the youth passed, Claude grabbed him without warning and leaned him over the bonnet of the police car.

  He could see from the face of the youth he was afraid. Claude said to him, “When you were back there with twenty of your mates and there were only two of us, you had plenty to say. Now here, there are two of us and just one of you and your now dead scared thinking you are going to get the shit kicked out you, just like what we thought back there.”

  Claude released the youth who stood up and Claude said to him, “You didn’t get the shit kicked out of you, you didn’t get locked up either, the next time I see you with your mates just remember when they have gone you will be walking home on your own, OK.”

  Claude drove off and the youth always said hello sergeant Friendly and didn’t cause Claude any trouble again.

  During the evening these takeaway food outlets were also busy though not with drunks and yobs. One evening Claude called to speak with the owner who couldn’t speak good English.

  On the menu was a sauce known as sweet and sour sauce. A very respectable lady order her meals when the Chinese owners asked her, “You like fucking chinky sauce.”

  The lady looked with horror, Claude recalled how he had explained to the lady what it was and that at night the unruly drunks always referred to it as fucking Chunky sauce. The owner not speaking good English was not aware it was foul language. The lady smiled, and then ordered some, thanking Claude. Claude later attempted to explain to the owner.

  Officers at Ashton police station had for years parked their private cars whilst on duty on the car park of a local pub, there being no police station car park. Some officers over the years visited the pub for a drink from time to time. The landlord many years ago was the old type always wore a dickey bow and a waistcoat. On a Christmas day he brought mince pies he was giving to his customers to the police station about six for the officers on duty that day.

  Other than that since time immemorial nothing had transpired as the different landlords and police had come and gone.

  One day the cat loving, ice cream hating senior officer visited Claude in his office and revealed a problem. The current landlord of the pub had received a parking ticket the senior officer was of a mind to let him off and sought Claude’s opinion.

  Claude recalled saying “You have the power to decide, if you want to write off the ticket, write it off.”

  The hesitant senior officer replied “I think I will mention it to the Divisional Commander.”

  Claude realised his immediate senior officer wanted to mark off the ticket but didn’t have the bottle to do it.

  Claude thought of his Divisional Commander, to whom he often spoke at 9am to update him what the current state of affairs was. Claude did not know the officer personally at that time but from conversations he had with him he realised the make up of the man.

  When Claude spoke with him his Commander always used the intercom on his desk, never the handset of the telephone. There was always an echo effect during the call.

  Claude had learned from experience he was very efficient, he knew everything that was happening and was keen to know that which he did not.

  If updating him and one forgot an item it was only moments before a question was asked concerning the missed items. Claude had realised this was one senior officer who really knew his job had his finger on all the buttons and expected all under his command to be equally efficient.

  Claude judged him to be knowledgeable and how pleasing it was to realise ones boss knew more than you thus installing confidence in all he supervised.

  He was a man no one could draw a fast one over. Claude later saw the officer he was small and quietly spoken causing Claude to think of him as “The Little Big Man.” Summing him now Claude thought perhaps one word would do it; he was an “Inspiration.”

  Coming back to the reality of his boss and the case of the landlord he had thought and replied, “If I were you I wouldn’t mention it, the current boss is straight right down the line, don’t mention it or you won’t like the reply you get.”

  His immediate boss thought then wrote a note on the ticket file minutes sheet saying how helpful the landlord was to the police and we had parked our cars there for years.

  Some time later came the brief reply from the Divisional Commander, two large bold lines scrapped all across the minute sheet in green ink and in large print it read, “Prosecute, park your cars somewhere else.”

  In old age and on reading some press and television reports of certain senior police officers Claude’s mind was cast back to the day and recalled the note.

  “Prosecute and park your cars somewhere else.”

  The mention of the green ink reminded Claude that in those far-gone days there arrived new fads into the police service.

  As most senior officers checked and signed the various books and registers, a system was invented by some mysterious and never to be revealed person, a different colour ink for different ranks. The name and or rank of the signing officer seemingly being insufficient. The colours were green for chief and ordinary superintendents, Red for chief Inspectors and Inspectors and black for all other ranks below those.

  Claude recalled one day after the visit of a chief inspector who had signed the message book in green, when the Superintendent arrived later in the day he had left yet another note against that left by the Chief Inspector it read.

  “Chief Inspector, please note, green is my colour.”

  This thought Claude, summed up many things.

  In more modern times the practice of calling officers by their collar numbers began to cease and the use of Christian or given names was beginning to be accepted. Claude recalled many years ago a sergeant habitually called him by his surname whilst his shift colleagues were called by Christian or given name. Fed up one day Claude looked at his sergeant when called “Friendly” and so he had lifted his foot and looked at the bottom of his shoe. The sergeant got the message said nothing and left. On the converse some senior officers now changed their telephone manner and so instead of saying Inspector Ashton Police Station they would pick the phone and in an abrupt and to their minds presumably more efficient would say "Ashton, Smith.”

  A claim to fame for the town of Ashton was that although they never knew it, their town was host to no less a person than Her Majesty the Queen. Further, a leading citizen who years later visited Buckingham Palace to receive a major award for services rendered missed an ideal opportunity when speaking with the Queen at the Palace to say, she was sorry not to pop down to say hello.

  Claude was on duty one night when his area commander arrived and announced Her Majesty the Queen was on whistle stop tour and would stay the night in a railway siding at Ashton. The train arrived with its double engine, just in case British Rail engineering was to fail. The train engine driver and assistant were in a sparkling uniforms and a Manager wearing a dark suit with a bowler ha
t upon his head sat next to the driver. The train pulled in and stopped in the siding only yards from the farm, the lady of a certain farmhouse. Claude was sure she would have instantly visited with fresh farm, milk, scones and butter armed with her charity-collecting box, only for the Queens staff of course. Had the lady have known the Queen was parked within hailing distance; she was there but missed it.

  Claude, his boss, two other officers, and two dog handlers were positioned around the train all night. Armed officers boarded and stood guard within. At first light the Duke was seen taking his morning stroll along the bottom of the farmer’s field, again the scene was missed by the lady of the house.

  When the train pulled out it was a rare sight for country police officers to see inside the coaches and the beautiful seating and the staff in the royal dress.

  One night there was a major incident to which Claude and his officers were called to deal with. On arrival lives had been lost and it was necessary for an officer of higher rank to be called to the scene. Claude contacted the Divisional Headquarters and asked for his area commander to be called from home to attend. He received the reply the senior was off duty since 5pm and engaged upon household matters. It was moments later his Divisional Commander came on the radio, it was the park your cars elsewhere officer.

  “Divisional Commander here, I am attending this incident, call your area commander again, say, what I just said and add a message, saying, I am travelling twice as far, they had better be at the scene when I get there.”

  Claude noted he was not using his office intercom on that occasion but was obviously within earshot of a radio. When the Divisional Commander arrived at the scene Claude’s immediate boss had also arrived. Though Claude never knew the reason, his boss at that time was soon to be posted to duties within the Divisional Headquarters there were no reports the officer was on operational duties nor on household duties at her base.

  Claude hesitated from typing to recall what he should include next and cast his mind back to an occasion recently when he had met an old colleague. He was slouching along the road his face so long it appeared likely his chin would scrape the pavement at any moment. Claude cast his mind to those days when in the police station he was an officer who appeared to make every effort to avoid performing any duty. When asked by the civilian on duty to do any task especially if it involved an arrest or involved any amount of clerical work the officer would take a huff, bang doors and drawers, commenting, “Why me?”

  Claude often suggested if he got on with the job in hand it would have been less effort. When on foot patrol especially at night during the witching hours of Midnight to 2am when all the trouble occurred the same officer was often seen walking the housing estates or even the main roads on the outskirts of the town too far away to be involved in or come to the rapid aid of anyone involved in a disturbance.

  On a similar vein he recalled an old colleague who admitted he had little outside knowledge of police work for he had spent most of his thirty years service in the office at the headquarters.

  Both cases caused Claude to ponder why they had ever joined the police service.

  Claude was now getting tired so packed up his typing equipment and made his way into the lounge taking some additional parts of his book with him for Angelina and Joe to check over.

  When they met up it was decided that a foray into town the next day might well be appropriate and this was decided.

  Angelina had been to reception and booked the seats for her two male neighbours and herself.

  The evening went smoothly and quiet and when night came Claude realised his last typing session had caused his eye to become heavy and he was soon asleep.

  Chapter 22

  Matron arrived at breakfast to announce a special outing that evening. A charity event was being held and in conjunction with this additional coaches had been laid on by the local lion’s charity. They’re being no additional expense to the company Matron had readily agreed.

  The event was to commence at 3pm when all from The Homestead who could do it were free to walk in the town until the evening entertainment. This would be followed by a free dinner laid on by the local lions once again.

  Whilst Claude and Joe were walking Joe found a wallet containing various credit cards and a driving licence.

  As they were passing Copton Police Station Claude suggested they should hand the property in as found property.

  They arrived at the front door there were two police officers standing inside. The officers were talking one was drinking from a Mug. Joe tried the door it was locked and so he knocked which caused the officers to turn and point to a telephone on the police station wall. Claude being familiar with the procedure, or so he thought picked up the phone.

  A lady answered asking the nature of the enquiry when told of the found wallet replied. “There is no civilian working I will make you an appointment to return another day.”

  Claude replied, “Why should we come another day?”

  “There are two police officers standing inside, one looks like he is drinking tea, ask him to open the door.”

  “They are not taking calls from the public,” came the reply.

  Claude replied once again, “I will stuff this wallet through the letter box you can do what you like with it. I worked in this police station for over twenty years if ever I had been in here with the door locked and the superintendent had arrived, I would have not been working here the next day.”

  The lady on the telephone replied, “Things have changed since your day.”

  She ended the call.

  Claude put the item through the letterbox and that was the end of the matter.

  As they were leaving a lady walked passed and said “They won’t answer the door, I was walking past here last week, there was a man lying on the steps I banged on the door no one answered. I used that phone and told them they said someone would come. I waited twenty minutes and eventually someone opened the door.”

  Claude and Joe walked on; Joe said, “Can you believe that, they wouldn’t answer the door?”

  Claude replied, “I believe it. Some months ago before I landed at the Homestead I was walking past here often when I saw police cars two or three leaving with sirens blasting. After a while I noticed there were never any from other directions always from the police station.”

  “One day, I was talking with an officer who had just retired he told me that these days they have a television in the police station with a three-piece suite for the comfort of the officers.”

  “I asked him how they had time to watch it in their forty-five minute break in their eight-hour shift.”

  “He told me they worked longer hours now say four days one week and three the next. It seems they don’t have to patrol any more.”

  “They are now called response officers when they come on duty they stay in the office until they get a call. If they don’t get a call they stay in sometimes the entire shift.”

  “He assured me there are officers in there that have been stationed here for five years and never been out walking in the town once, even refused to go out when he had asked them to go with him.”

  With that Claude and Joe sat on a seat in the town a police car drove past containing two officers.

  Claude Said, “One day I came past a supermarket it was full of stock and the front windows smashed apparently a ram raid. I dialled 999 the lady asked.

  “Is this a life and death emergency?”

  I replied, said Claude “I don’t know if its life and death but this shop is full of stock and seems to be a victim of a ram raid.”

  “That is not a life and death emergency in future do not use the 999 system but the ordinary number.”

  She replaced the phone didn’t ask me my name address nor from where I was speaking. I didn’t have the ordinary number so I didn’t call again I don’t know if they ever attended.

  With that the same police car with the same two officers drove passed a second time.

&n
bsp; Just at that moment two old colleagues of Claude arrived and passed the time of day.

  Joe told them of the visit to the police station, the one related a story.

  “A Friend of mine keeps a pub, in the middle of the night he heard a burglary down stairs so made a 999 call. The police controller said they had no one to attend.”

  “ At this point he burst into laughter and couldn’t get his words out. When he had calmed he continued, the police operator told him to run around the room make as much noise as he could to frighten off the burglars. With that all four burst into laughing as the same police car made a third passing.”

  “What happened to the landlord?” asked Claude.

  “Well you may not believe this but, said the man, after an hour a police car arrived containing two police officers who said they had been parked just up the road having something to eat in their car, no one had called them.” The landlord wrote to the police station to complain he received a letter back saying an inspector would investigate the complaint but nothing could be done for two weeks as he was on annual leave.”

  There was more laughing and so said the storyteller when he did arrive the landlord told him to bugger off.

  The other arrival related his story. He had been going to bed and saw a man siphoning petrol from a car in the street so he had dialled 999 to report it. He waited for ages; the villain took what petrol he could and left. No police arrived and so he went to bed. The next day he rang the police to enquire what had happened. A search of the records failed to find any trace of the police pensioner’s call.

  He recalled that he had been speaking with an old very senior officer who had needed to call the police who did attend. Some time later he needed to speak to the investigating officer again and so left a message. The officer failed to get in touch and so the injured party contacted the police station once again, on this occasion mentioned his rank thinking that might induce those in charge to react, he waited six weeks and no one contacted him.