Deep-Fried Homicide (The Laurel Falls Mysteries Book 1)

by Patricia Lee Macomber

  “So, what did you do while I was gone?”

  The smile widened. “Oh, you know. The usual. I took a long hot bath. Watched some chick-flicks. Took a nap in the middle of the day.”

  “Good for you, playing little domestic goddess and all that.” He poked at her ribs then, watched as she flinched and pulled back. “How did you hurt yourself?”

  “Oh, that. The stupid cats got tangled up in my feet while I was going down the steps to the garage. I managed to tumble the last three steps and hit the concrete.”

  “Did you go to the hospital?”

  “For this?” She pulled a sour face and shook her head. “It’s nothing. Just some bruising. I’ll be okay in a day or two.”

  Rick nodded slowly, his eyes staring daggers of ice through her. Suddenly, he sat up straighter, lacing his fingers and resting one elbow on the back of the couch. “Okay, now tell me what you really did while I was gone and how you really got hurt.”

  Rachel smiled and blinked innocently. For a split second, she considered continuing the ruse. But Rick was too smart to fall for it and she was a bad liar. “How did you know?”

  “I’m a cop, remember? Besides, you winced when you stood up and you nearly screamed when I hugged you. You don’t get that much pain from falling down some stairs. And you opened the computer window full of shoes when I walked in. Every time I walk in on you doing something you shouldn’t, you open the shoe window. And yet, you never actually buy any shoes. Now, spill it. Or do I have to put you over my knee and spank your pretty little bottom?” He cocked his head and raised his eyebrows in that cute man-baby way of his. It made her want to kiss him instantly.

  “Oh, all right! No need for threats.” She eased herself into a more comfortable, less painful position and sighed. “I went out to the cemetery last night.”

  “For God’s sake, why?”

  “I knew something was going on down there, after dark. So, I went down there to see if I could figure out what.”

  “And what time did you launch this little surveillance mission?”

  “It was almost midnight when I got there.”

  “But the cemetery is locked after eleven.”

  “I know.” She had meant to sound contrite but wasn’t sure if she had pulled it off.

  “So, you’re telling me you scaled the wall?”

  “Not exactly. I climbed a tree, walked along the branch and dropped into the cemetery.”

  Rick rolled his eyes and rubbed at his temples. The first pangs of a headache had begun. Judging from the look on his face, it was going to be a doozy. “Okay, then what?”

  “Then, I went to the back of the cemetery, where the old mausoleum is. I hid in the bushes and sure enough, there were two pickup trucks and a passel of guys in there.”

  “A passel, huh?” He smirked at her, taunting her for her Southern terminology.

  “Yea, a passel. I didn’t recognize any of them and the trucks were parked tailgate to tailgate, so I didn’t get any plates. And I couldn’t get close enough to hear what they were saying without being seen. So, I decided to shoot a video in the hopes that I could enhance it later.”

  “And did you? Get some video?”

  “I did. That’s what I was working on when you came in. I managed to pull two solid images of two separate guys out of it. And before you say a word, I already emailed them to Dooley.”

  “Good girl. Now, tell me the part about how you got hurt. I have a feeling I might enjoy that part.”

  She pulled a face at him and groaned. “Well, I was in the bushes shooting the video and trying to make out what they were saying. Then one of them had to pee and he headed straight for my position, so I took off like a scared rabbit.”

  “Did you get made?”

  “No, he never saw me. I ran straight for the front of the cemetery, where the wall is shorter and where there’s more foot traffic outside.”

  “Smart.” He suddenly brought those interrogator’s eyes to bear on her again. “But how did you get out?”

  “There were no trees low enough that I could reach them like I did to get in. So, I decided to ninja my way out. I made a run for it and jumped off the top of a headstone. I got the height but the distance was off. And I panicked in midair. I managed to hit the wall full force and smash my ribs against the bricks.”

  Rick shot her a sympathizing grimace of pain. “So what did you do?”

  “I just hunkered down behind a cluster of old headstones and waited until morning, when the caretaker came to unlock the gates.”

  “You spent the whole night in a dark, damp cemetery? Why didn’t you just call Diane or Macey to come down with a rope and get you out?”

  “Because I didn’t want anybody else to know I was there. Besides, I couldn’t drag them into it.”

  “Lordy, lordy, lordy!” he chuffed, shaking his head. “You promise me that from now on, you’ll leave all these little midnight surveillance trips to big daddy here. I’m better equipped to deal with goons and I darn sure would have made it over that wall.”

  “I swear.” She put her hand in the air, the other on an invisible Bible. “Besides, you haven’t heard the worst part.”

  His face went dark and Rachel thought she felt a tremor in his arm. “You’re scaring me,” he whispered.

  She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Earlier, about an hour before you came home, the lights went out. I got up to see if we’d blown a fuse and when I got into the kitchen, I noticed the back door to the yard was open. I came back into the living room to get my phone and somebody grabbed me. It was a man, not very large. And he put a hand over my mouth and told me to stay away from the cemetery and to keep my nose out of things that don’t concern me. He said he wouldn’t warn me again. Then he threw me across the room. By the time I had the presence of mind to stand up, he was gone and the back door was shut.”

  Rick checked her face, silent for what seemed like an eternity. Then, “And you called the police, right?”

  “No. I was afraid…I thought maybe…I knew you’d be home any minute anyway.”

  “So you cleaned everything up and waited. You meant to keep it from me.” His jaw worked as he stared at her, his face unreadable. “Someone was in our house, Rach. Some stranger came in my house and grabbed my wife and he threatened her. And hurt her. And by God, he’s not going to get away with it!” He shot up from the sofa, his fists clenched harder than his jaw.

  “Rick, wait!” Rachel seized hold of his arm and pulled him forcibly back onto the sofa. The pain in her ribs and shoulder sang out again but she ignored it. “We have no idea who all’s wrapped up in this. We have no idea what’s going on at all. We could be putting ourselves in even more danger by calling the cops.”

  “This one’s too dangerous, Rach. You have to stay out of it. You have to. If anything happened to you…” He broke off, his blue eyes clouding.

  She nodded. “I will. Rick, I was so scared. I thought he was going to kill me or…worse. I’m not touching this one. I’m done. Out.”

  Rick reached out and stroked her face, his own softening by comparison, his eyes heavily hooded. “My poor baby, out in the cemetery all night, in the cold and dark, all alone, injured. Now, do I need to take you to the hospital? No pride this time. Tell me the truth.”

  “No, really. Nothing’s broken. Just bruised.”

  “And how do you know that?”

  “It doesn’t hurt when I take a deep breath. Only when I press on it or move the wrong way.”

  “You know, it could have gone much worse. You could have been hurt much worse. Or they could have caught you, abducted you…killed you.” His face was mean now, threatening and furious. ”And the one who came after you…well, I don’t even want to think what he could have done.”

  She nodded solemnly and frowned. “So, what now?”

  “Now, my dear, you apologize to your husband for lying to him and start making it up to him.”

  She scooted a little on the couch, then
leaned in the rest of the way to kiss him softly on the lips. “I’m sorry, Rick. I truly am.” He nodded at that and moaned his approval.

  “And over here,” he said quietly, tapping one finger at the corner of his mouth.

  She kissed him there, too, and moved to the other side when he tapped his finger there.

  “That’s the ticket,” he said with a smile. “And the rest will have to wait until you’ve healed. He scooped her into his arms and stood up then. The whole of it seemed to take no effort at all on his part.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m taking my baby to bed and then I’m going to ice up her ribs.” He carried her into the bedroom and placed her carefully on the bed, making sure to cover her eternally cold feet. Then he turned to leave.

  “I love you, Rick,” she said meekly.

  “I know.”

  “Why do you even put up with me?” Her lip quivered a bit, her eyes flooding with tears.

  Rick shrugged comically. “Because I love you, too.”

  Then he left to get the ice.

  Rick rose the next morning feeling like a heel for having ridden Rachel so hard. She had made a mistake, it was true. And his words had come from a place of fear rather than anger. Perhaps, though, her physical pain and genuine remorse had been punishment enough. It wasn’t the first time she had stuck her nose in where it might have been cut off and he guessed that it wouldn’t be the last. After all, he had known her flaws from the beginning, had even considered them adorable. So why, now, was he so furious with her for just being Rachel?

  “Because she came close to getting killed, that’s why,” he mumbled into the pan of angry bacon.

  Rick had rolled out of bed first, letting Rachel have first crack at the shower while he made coffee, fed the cats, and cleaned the litter box. And now he was making breakfast in the hopes that she wouldn’t be quite as hurt by his harsh words from the night before.

  “My gosh that smells good!” Rachel giggled as she entered the kitchen. She looked around, taking in every detail with the kind of eye that Rick thought any police detective ought to have. “And youmade the coffee, fed the cats. And you’re making breakfast.” She flung her arms around his waist from behind and squeezed him tight. “I sure do love you.”

  “Someone’s feeling a lot better this morning.” He twisted a bit and kissed her briefly. She smelled of that special rose soap she used and her hair was still damp from the shower.

  “I am. And you have my word there’ll be no more trouble out of me.”

  She grabbed her mug from the stand and poured it full of coffee, then accepted her plate from Rick. They ate in relative silence, Rick wolfing his food down without it hardly touching his tongue. Then he sped off to take his shower and get ready for work while Rachel cleaned up the dishes.

  There was a deep, abiding ache in her ribs, but for the most part, they had healed well so far. If she twisted really hard to the right, she could make them hurt, so she made a mental note – after the first test-twirl – not to do that again.

  When Rick re-appeared in the kitchen, he was squeaky clean and smelled of man-soap. Rachel hated the smell but all attempts to get him to switch brands or wear cologne to mask it went unheeded.

  With a sigh of resignation, she took his hand, turned the lock on the door, and began their ritualistic walk to the diner.

  They walked in silence that morning, words still lingering but untested. A light fog had rolled in overnight but as they rounded the corner they could see the diner’s lights blazing through the mist. If any place felt like home to them, it was the diner more than their own house. They spent more time there than at home and the time they spent there was full of fond memories and good friends.

  “Good morning, Rachel and Rick.” Diane was nearly bubbly just then. She had been there for a while, Rachel guessed, since the tables were set and the ketchup married. The napkin dispensers were full, too.

  Rachel acknowledged Rick’s kiss on her head with a smile and watched him make his way into the kitchen. Then she turned her eyes on Diane. “You’ve been a busy little bee this morning, haven’t you? Did you even leave anything for the rest of us to do?”

  “Of course, silly. And I can’t take all the credit. I came in this morning and Macy was already filling the napkin holders.”

  “It’s good to see you smiling again.” Rachel sidled up to her and gave her shoulders a little squeeze. “Really good.”

  “Well, I’ve come to a few decisions about my life,” Diane said, still wiping the counter ceaselessly. “Though I might have to ask for a tiny bit more help with some of it.”

  Rachel tossed her purse onto the counter. It bounced a bit and coughed up a small piece of paper from the outside pocket. “So spill. What decisions have you reached?” She grabbed the paper with her index and middle finger, then began to turn it over in her hand.

  Finally Diane stopped abusing the counter and settled on a nearby stool. “Okay, I’ve decided that I want to go back to school and finish getting my degree. But I’m gonna have to save up some money for tuition before I do. My grades were always good and they like me there, so I don’t think I’ll have a problem getting back in.”

  “Fantastic. I think you’re on the right track.” She looked down at the paper, unfolded it and peeked at the writing inside. “It seems to me that you’ll save money a lot faster if you stay in the RV while you’re doing it. We love having you here and I know the customers would miss you if you left.”

  Diane leaned forward and grabbed onto Rachel’s forearm. Her eyes were glistening and her lip trembled a bit. “I’m so glad you said that. I was going to ask but I didn’t want to seem like I was taking advantage.”

  “Oh, honey, if anybody’s taking advantage, it’s us. I mean, we work you like a dog around here. And you’re not exactly making the big bucks.”

  “No, but I make quite a bit in tips and if I don’t have to spend any of it on rent…”

  “Say no more. You’ve got a home here for as long as you need it.” She sensed more than saw Rick’s head pop up in the window at that, though he offered no opinion of his own. “So, any other epiphanies?”

  “Mmm…no that’s pretty much it.”

  Rachel looked down at the paper in her hand, struggling with the decision. She didn’t want to spoil the joy that had finally returned to Diane’s life nor throw her into a tailspin which might cancel her newly formed plans. But she wasn’t into keeping secrets from people either. Especially not when they might be life-altering.

  “Diane, I have one more thing I need to tell you,” she said, then sighed hard and loud. She clutched the paper between her two fingers tightly, as though it might go up in smoke any second. “I was in the mall yesterday and a man bumped into me. When I checked my bag, I found this paper in the outside pocket. Now, I can’t say for sure who gave it to me or if it’s genuine, so take it with a grain of salt. But I just thought you should see it.”

  Slowly, Rachel extended her arm, aiming the paper at Diane as if it were the bullet that would take her life. Diane, watching Rachel’s eyes every second, took the paper and unfolded it. Her hands began to shake then, her eyes pooled with tears.

  “It’s Mike’s handwriting,” she whimpered, nodding her head vigorously. A tear spilled onto her cheek and began its journey toward her chin. “He always makes his M’s lopsided and his E’s sort of trail off.” She swallowed hard and tucked the paper into her pocket.

  “This doesn’t change any of your plans. I mean, you have to live your life the way you want to and not base it on anyone else, right?”

  Diane nodded slowly. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll use the ladies’ room before I start my shift.”

  “Sure, honey,” Rachel said softly and watched her go. She heard the bell on the door tinkle and felt the approach of someone. Macy. Her squeaky nurse’s shoes gave her away.

  “What’s up with the kiddo?”

  “I got slipped a note from Mike yesterday w
hile I was at the mall saying that he was innocent and he would be back for her when this was all over.”

  “Whoa!”

  “Yea.” Rachel turned on the stool and brought her deep eyes to bear on Macy. “I mean, I had to show it to her, right? I couldn’t keep something like that from her, no matter how bad it makes her feel, no matter how it affects her plans. Right?” She looked to Macy for validation, waited for her response.

  Macy just stared at her, her lips unmoving, her face unchanged.

  “That’s what I thought. Dammit, Rachel. Just dammit.”

  Rachel was still mumbling to herself as she leaped off the stool and made for the back door. She pushed through it under Macy’s watchful gaze and went into the courtyard out back. As Macy watched, Rachel paced up and down, occasionally banging the heel of her hand against her forehead and frowning.

  Suddenly, Diane burst out of the bathroom and marched on Macy. Her eyes were red and swollen but she was smiling and there was something – was it pride or merely resolution? – behind those eyes. “Where’s Rachel?”

  Macy pointed toward the back door. “Out there, beating the crap out of herself and possibly the RV.”

  Diane wasted no time in joining Rachel in the courtyard.

  Macy stood, her arms folded and her face scrunched as she stared out through the window in the door. First Rachel stopped pacing and turned to face Diane. Then Diane began gesturing wildly, stabbing her finger into the air in front of Rachel’s face, then throwing her arms up into the air. Rachel gestured likewise, then smiles broke out on both the women’s faces and they threw themselves into a huge hug.

  “Ack! Too much drama!” Macy exclaimed, throwing her own hands into the air and marching away from the scene. “I’m throwing the sign,” she said, then flipped the sign over angrily and stepped behind the counter.

  The bell on the door clanged loudly before she even reached the station. The whoosh of outside air was short-lived, though, as the customer pushed the door shut himself.