Shay stared at the back of his bedroom door for a long time without moving. He could hear her out there. The rise and fall of her breath. The increasing rhythm of her heartbeat. Not to mention the swell of her presence in his blood.
She was so close. Just on the other side of the door. Just like she’d been all night.
But he hadn’t realized just how close she’d actually been.
Hell, her was inside her. Almost as much as she was inside him.
Hell, she’d seen Elysium—the image that he’d kept in his head as he’d walked through this mundane world. His mental tether to the one place he truly belonged.
And Nicole had gone there in a dream.
Gone there through her connection with him.
He didn’t know whether to feel hope or horror at the realization. It was all new.
And it had been millennia since he’d discovered something truly new.
But that had happened the moment he’d stepped into Nicole’s world. Every action she made, every word she spoke, surprised him.
She was special in ways that he still didn’t know the depths of. Deep inside her was a magic he had no experience with. Nothing like the magic of the Realm or the Underworld. Something that was all her own. Something unique he felt in her soul. Something that was hers all alone.
And now that magic lived in his head.
He didn’t know its name yet. But he would.
He’d figure out this magic that allowed her to talk to him the way she did. Allowed her to make him yearn for her when she was just on the other side of the door. Allowed her to keep him wide awake wanting to protect her, and keep her safe, even when her words had not bound him to it.
And when he found out the name of this magic, he’d learn to master it for himself.
Either that, or it would master him.
Chapter Twelve
Shay shouldn’t have worried about falling asleep. The moment he rested his head on his pillow he was surrounded by Nicole’s lingering presence. The scent of her body and the feel of her heat filled up both his bed and his head. The combination proved to be remarkably soothing and after a few minutes, Shay felt himself drifting away.
Even more impressive, he stayed asleep for quite some time. It was hours later when he woke up. Rising from the mattress and pulling back the drapes, he saw that it was already afternoon.
Nicole hadn’t woken him up when the sun rose. In fact, he hadn’t heard her make a single sound. He reached out with his mind, and felt her presence, strong and steady nearby.
Shay breathed out a sigh of relief.
The truth was he was feeling better as well. A long rest had done him a world of good. His thinking was sharper. His senses more focused.
He changed into a fresh set of clothes before exiting his bedroom. The moment he opened the door, he spotted Nicole sitting across the room on the windowsill. She turned her head as she slid a thin slice of apple between her lips. A smile lifted her cheeks.
“I was wondering when you were going to wake up,” she said after she’d finished chewing.
In front of her was a plate of cobbled-together food—apple slices, clusters of grapes, wedges of cheese, a few crackers, and a handful of nuts. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever seen her eat before. Usually when he’d spied her eating in the bookshop it was a fast food sandwich or takeout. But his kitchen was different.
“You should have roused me,” he said.
She shook her head and finished off her apple slice. “You needed the sleep. Besides, there wasn’t anything going on here, and I can watch a quiet street just as well as you.”
He supposed she was right. Still, he couldn’t shake the idea that this was his responsibility, not hers.
“No sign of Marrow?” He moved across the room toward her.
“Nothing so far.” She raised the plate up to him as he sat down next to her, offering him some of her lunch.
He took a small bunch of purple grapes. “You’re certain?”
She shrugged and turned her attention back out the window.
“Pretty sure,” she said. “I mean it’s looked pretty normal out there. There haven’t been any otherworldly portals opening up, or seven-foot tall fairies walking down the street, so I was clear for a lunch break.”
A light smile curled her lips.
A part of him wondered how she found the strength to joke at a time like this, when things were looking dark.
“It’s better than crying,” she said as though he’d asked the question out loud. Maybe she’d heard it that way. Or maybe she was deeper into his head than he realized.
“It sounds like you’ve dealt with trouble before,” he said.
“Nothing this bad, but yeah,” she said. “When you grow up knowing that you’re tied to a magical secret that no one can ever know about, you pick up a few coping mechanisms.”
Without looking away from the window, she lifted up a piece of cheese and took a bite. Shay knew her intense focus wasn’t because something had caught her eye. There was something she was having trouble saying. It was the same thing that had happened to him last night.
There were things that were frightening to express for the first time. Especially when you’ve believed yourself above fear.
“You knew this was going to happen,” he said.
“This?” She laughed. “Like with you and Marrow and my soul inside your head? No, I never thought this exact situation would happen.”
“But something similar?”
She took a while to chew her food. Far longer than she needed to.
“Yeah,” she finally said. “I guess I always knew something would happen. But now that it has, crying won’t change it.”
“Neither will laughing,” he countered.
“True.” She looked up from the street and met his gaze. “But one feels much better than the other.”
“Better than kissing?”
Nicole gasped then choked in surprise, but she recovered quickly enough. “Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep. You’re acting funny.”
“Am I?” A smile spread across his face. Nicole was right. This did feel good. Teasing her was a much more pleasant use of time than worrying about Marrow’s return.
Of course, he could think of an even more pleasant way to pass the time.
“Because I’m feeling more clear-headed than I have in days,” he said. He reached out for another taste of sweet fruit off her plate, but she pulled it away from his fingers.
“Get your own apple,” she said.
He laughed. “That is my apple.”
He leaned in even closer. She leaned back.
He traced his fingers up the length of her arm as she stretched the plate out behind her. She arched her back to keep it away from him. He pressed against her. Only a whisper of space separated them. One deep breath and they’d be intimately entwined.
The thought turned Shay’s emotions from playful to heated. He could have her right here on the window seat. Have her in all the ways that he’d dreamed of just hours before. He could taste her skin, feel the thrum of her heart pounding in her chest, listen to the sound of her moans against his ear as he pleasured her in ways she’d never known possible.
He could know the sweet heaven of her body surrounding him. The very idea turned his blood to fire.
And Nicole was quick to notice.
Her breath quickened as well. Her gaze locked on his. He saw a reflection of his own desire shining in her eyes.
For a moment, she held her breath. He felt the indecision running through her. He understood it, too.
She was already dreaming of Elysium. What would happen if they became closer? What would they see and feel if they created an even tighter bond?
Right now, it seemed neither of them were brave enough to find out.
Shay moved back, and Nicole slowly pushed herself up on the cushion below her. A second later, she placed the plate in between them. He looked down at the light meal. There was no way it
would satisfy them both.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Honestly, I was bored,” she said. “There’s only so long a person can stare out a window without going a little crazy. I want to do something.”
“You want to open the shop?”
“We’re closed on Mondays.”
“Then what did you have in mind?”
She didn’t answer. Not in words, at least.
Instead, she bounced up from the window seat and held her hand out toward him. Shay stared down at it for a long moment. He might not know exactly what she wanted, but he was coming to know that mischievous twinkle in her eyes pretty well.
“Oh, come on,” she said. This time she didn’t wait for him. She reached down, grabbed his hand and gave it a hard pull.
Shay knew he could have resisted, but the strange thing was he didn’t want to. So, he allowed her to guide him down the stairs to the bookstore. Once they were at the side door, she let go of his hand and slipped behind the counter.
“I thought you weren’t going to open the store,” he said.
“I’m not.” She ducked down, disappearing behind the counter. “But that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to open anything.”
A second later, he heard the soft clicks of a safe dial turning.
“Nicole, wait,” he said, rushing to her side. “That’s not a good idea.”
She paused just long enough to shoot him an annoyed look.
“Why not?” she asked. “What’s there to be afraid of? That someone might find out about the grimoire? That the fae will come looking for it? Too late for that.”
Shay pressed his lips together as she went back to turning the dial. He supposed she had a point. Still, he felt a shiver of trepidation, remembering the rush of power that he’d felt pouring out of that safe before. The sensation had been heady. Nearly intoxicating.
But more importantly, the book inside had nearly killed Nicole, and that wasn’t something he would allow to happen again. He reached out and covered her hand with his before she could click through to the final number.
She turned her eyes to him, and he felt a rush of a different kind as her soulful gaze met his.
“I’m not worried about the fae,” he admitted.
Pure warmth filled her eyes as a smile lifted her cheeks. She patted his hand.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m not planning on using the book. I promise.”
Shay hesitantly pulled his hand away from hers, and a moment later, the sound of metal sliding into place echoed off the walls. Nicole pulled down the heavy lever. Just like before, a wave of powerful magic rolled out through the crack, strong enough to take his breath away.
Nicole slipped her hands inside, and pulled out the book.
“Be careful.” The words came out of him before he could stop them.
Nicole rolled her eyes before standing up and laying the heavy grimoire down on the counter top.
“You can calm down, Shay,” she said. “I grew up around this thing. I know how precious and powerful it is. And after what happened a couple of days ago, trust me, I know exactly how dangerous it can be.”
“Then why bring it out?”
She looked up at him. “Because I think it can help us with Marrow.”
“No.” Shay slammed his hand down on top of the cover before she could crack it open. “Absolutely not. You just promised me you wouldn’t use the power inside this book.”
“And I meant it.”
“Then what are you planning to do with it?”
“I’m going to read it,” she said as if that explained everything.
Shay shook his head. “You can’t. There’s no way you can read the ancient language of magicians.”
“And there’s no way that I can see the visions in your head, but…” She lifted up her hands in an exaggerated shrug.
Shay groaned. The woman was maddening.
“Even if you could manage to read the writing, what are you hoping to find there?” he asked. “It’s just filled with spells. Spells that you just promised not to use.”
“It’s also a book,” she said. “And books are filled with knowledge and answers.”
“Not grimoires,” he shot back. “They’re more like banks than the books that fill this shop, Nicole. Magicians weave their power into the ink which they then put on the page for safekeeping.”
“Maybe that’s how most get written, but not this one.”
Shay narrowed his eyes. “You know how this grimoire was created?”
She hesitated before finally shaking her head. “Not exactly. I just have a feeling.”
“A feeling?” he asked skeptically.
“Yeah,” she said. “You know how I’ve been feeling more connected to you lately? Well, I’ve been feeling the same way toward the book too.”
He shook his head. “I don’t understand.”
She tapped her fingertips against the cover. It was clear she was struggling for words. “This morning while I was sitting there waiting for you to wake up…well, I could have sworn that I heard the book calling me.”
Shay’s chest tightened. “You heard your name.”
“No, I didn’t actually hear it,” she rushed to say, but then her gaze fell to the floor. “Except, I did. Just not with my ears. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I heard it in my heart. It was the same way the book communicated to me when I banished Marrow.”
He ground his back teeth together.
“You mean when it tried killed you?”
“I don’t think that’s what it was trying to do.”
“I was there, Nicole,” he said. “I saw what it did to you.”
“No, I don’t think you did,” she shot back. “After I used the magic to banish Marrow, I was floating toward someplace amazing. Somewhere beyond peaceful and serene.”
“That’s because you were dying,” he explained flatly.
She shook her head. “But something was holding me back. It wouldn’t let me cross over. Its power was strong enough to keep me balanced on the edge until you, Emily, and Merlin could bring me back. I think that power was the book.”
“Grimoires can’t do that,” he said. “Like I told you, they’re just repositories for magic. They’re not living things.”
“Maybe normal ones aren’t.” She jabbed at the grimoire with her pointer finger. “But I think we can both agree, this book is far from normal.”
“So, what do you think it is?”
“I don’t know. But my grandfather used to tell me that when trouble came knocking, the book would tell me what to do. It would take care of us.”
“And how is it supposed to do that?” he asked.
“I won’t know until I read it.”
She cast a pointed look down at his splayed palm still keeping her from opening the cover. Reluctantly, he pulled it back. It sounded like he wasn’t going to be able to talk her out of this ridiculous idea. Which meant she would only see reason when she found it wouldn’t work herself.
A smile lifted her lips as she peeled the front cover open on the counter. Her eyes went wide as she looked down at the page. Her teeth grazed the full curve of her lower lip.
“Well,” Shay said, taking in her amazed expression. “Can you read it?”
Her eyes lifted to meet his gaze. A small bubble of laughter escaped her lips.
“Not at all,” she admitted. “This is gibberish.”
“So, you’re ready to put the book back in the safe?”
She looked at him with disappointment in her eyes. “You can feel all my emotions but you still think I’m going to give up because of one setback?”
Not anymore, he didn’t.
“Besides.” She dipped her head down to study the page. “Just because I can’t understand what I’m looking at doesn’t mean that there’s nothing there. I can still feel the book talking to me. I just need to figure out what it’s saying.”
Shay couldn’t help but smile at the sight
of her hunched over. Her gaze focused. Determination poured out of her.
There was no way she was about to give up on an idea just because of one small failure. That was one of the reasons he loved her.
Shay tried to draw in a breath, but the air caught in his tight throat.
He loved her.
The realization was a shock. But there was no doubt in his mind. He was certain. Even though he’d never known the emotion before, he knew love was what he was feeling. It helped that he had Nicole’s soul inside him interpreting the emotion—this feeling that went beyond concern, beyond desire.
It was an urge that came from his core. From the depths of his soul. It was a calling to bask in her joy. To stay by her side in troubled times. To protect her from harm. Maybe that was why he refused to walk even a step away as she flipped through the pages of the book.
Nicole must have noticed as well. After a few minutes, she glanced up at him.
“Are you going to spend the whole day staring over my shoulder?” she asked.
“Probably.” There wasn’t anywhere else he wanted to be. “I still don’t trust that thing.”
“That thing?” She let out a laugh. “It’s a book, Shay, not a venomous snake.”
“That’s what you think.”
“Everything’s fine,” she said, pulling her attention away from the grimoire long enough to face him. “I promise you nothing bad is going to—”
The word died in her throat the moment a pop sounded and the front windows started to rattle. Both their gazes snapped to the street outside as a swirling wind picked up the debris on the street and whirled it up and away.
No.
The energy around them shifted, turning cold and electric. Shay didn’t need to run to the window to see what was going on. He knew the feeling well enough.
He was back.
Apparently, Nicole didn’t need to be told either. In one fluid motion, she swooped up the grimoire, tossed in the safe, and closed the heavy iron door. Only then did she run to the front of the store. She pressed her open palms flat against the glass and gasped louder than the great gusts of wind flying down the street.
Jinn: Exiles of the Realm Page 12