The Guarded Widow

by K M Gaffney

  Olivia poured the thoroughly beaten eggs into a heated pan. “Actually, I did have fun. I liked Thad.”

  “Really?” Maddy asked, arching a brow. She leaned over to carefully sip her nearly overflowing mug of steaming, hot coffee.

  “Why do you sound so surprised?” Olivia asked, annoyed because her sister could usually read her so easily.

  “Well, first of all, you didn’t even wake me up to share your night with me. Then, you were just beating those eggs as though you were furious. It seems to me you were taking out your frustrations on them.”

  Olivia sighed, realizing she really needed to unload the details of her evening on someone.

  “I need to talk this out so I can get over him and move on,” she gushed.

  Narrowing her eyes with concern, Maddy automatically assumed she must have uncharacteristically slept with Thad Wolfe. “Slow down, Olivia! What did you do? What’re you talking about?”

  Olivia watched as trickles of a light rain streaked down the sliding glass door, and then groaned aloud.

  “Okay, I think I’m attracted to Gavin Rafferty. Well, I don’t think it. After last night, I absolutely know it, without a doubt.”

  Maddy’s eyes widened as she studied Olivia. Relief flooded through her, that her prior assumption was incorrect. But then she gaped at her sister, wearing a confused expression.

  “Did you ever meet up with Thad?”

  Waving her hand in the air, as though the memory of the man she’d met on the blind date was a pesky insect, Olivia conversationally said, “Oh yeah! Thad was a nice enough guy and I had fun. It wasn’t a terrible experience.”

  Maddy chugged the remainder of the coffee in her mug and decided she was definitely going to need more caffeine.

  “Then I don’t understand. If you went out with Thad, how did you end up running into Gavin Rafferty?”

  Wow, that is an entirely too accurate description of last night, Olivia mused before going on to explain meeting up with Thad Wolfe at the restaurant. She described how shocked she’d been when she saw Gavin sitting at the bar in Mulligan’s and told Maddy how he’d intended to keep an eye on her. That supposedly, he was concerned for her safety.

  Then she detailed the brief exchange which had instigated their heated embrace in Mulligan’s parking lot and his rude abrasive behavior afterward.

  Maddy listened intently, nodding her head in silence. When her sister fell silent she curiously asked, “You’re really starting to fall for this guy, huh?”

  Olivia bit off the response a bit too quickly. “No! No! Well maybe. I guess I am, for some stupid reason that I’m totally unable to comprehend. I mean, I’m not blind, Maddy. He’s gorgeous, but there’s something there that I can’t quite put my finger on. There’s something else which seems to draw my attention to him. I don’t know. I mean here I am a widow with four kids. What could a single good-looking cop, who could have any choice of beautiful young women, possibly see in me?” She sighed wearily. “I guess I’m just tired and blabbering in exhaustion. Actually, he said he was going to stop by later today, but I don’t want to see him.”

  Maddy knowingly smiled at her. “This must really tick you off.”

  “Yes!” Olivia admitted in exasperation, casting her hands in the air to accentuate her words. “Yes, it certainly does.”

  “Well, I’m willing to bet you a thousand bucks, due to the story you just told, that Gavin probably feels just as confused as you do this morning,” Maddy said, smiling slyly as Olivia’s eyes widened in surprise. “And knowing Gavin Rafferty, he’s probably just as pissed off about it as you are,” she concluded with a hearty chuckle, snatching a forkful of scrambled eggs off the serving platter.

  Maddy surreptitiously watched over the brim of her coffee mug as Olivia finished cooking Sunday breakfast for her sleeping sons, wondering what her sister was going to do, if and when, Officer Rafferty truly shows up.

  Gavin strode up to Olivia’s front door and rang the bell. As he stepped back, waiting for her to answer, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in the sidelight. Geesh, I look terrible, he acknowledged as he saw his exhausted face in the glass. Two day old thick, dark stubble was growing in, making him look rough, surly even. Not having the energy this morning to shave or care at all about his appearance, he’d opted for his old, beat up baseball cap, a worn, long sleeved, grey cotton shirt, and broken in jeans.

  “Why isn’t she answering the door?” he wondered aloud as he strolled across the porch to spy through the dining room window.

  Olivia, Maddy, and the boys were all sitting around the kitchen table, laughing and talking and from where Gavin stood it looked like they were playing some type of board game. So he rang the bell again, thinking maybe they didn’t hear it the first time.

  When their mother blatantly ignored the first chime of the doorbell, Tommy and Michael speculatively glanced at one another before looking to their aunt. However, after shooting brief hesitative glances at their mother, who was looking quite smug, the highly vested interest in their Monopoly game won out. They decided to just continue on playing, figuring she must have ignored it for a reason. So when the doorbell chimed a second time, James falsely concluded that his mother had become deaf.

  Shifting his body closer to hers, he yelled directly into her right ear, “Mom, someone’s here! They keep ringing the doorbell!”

  Olivia’s hands shot up to protect what was left of her hearing.

  “I know who it is,” she stated dryly. “I was just hoping he’d go away.”

  Although it went against her better judgment, Maddy decided to speak up.

  “Olivia, he’s looking right at us through the dining room window. You’re being rude.”

  Olivia glared at Maddy, and then groaned as she stood up. “I wish you’d left earlier when I’d suggested it.”

  Not at all insulted, Maddy laughed at the look of disgust on her sister’s face. “There is no way I’m missing this,” she retorted.

  The boys curiously watched as the sisters bantered back and forth.

  “Sorry guys. I need to drop out of the game and get the door,” their mother called out as she purposely took her time walking to the front door.

  Opening it slowly, she casually greeted him. “Good afternoon Gavin, what a pleasant surprise to see you here today.”

  The second she laid eyes on him, Olivia sincerely wished she’d never even answered the front door. He towered before her wearing a lazy smile and a ball cap pulled down just far enough that she was unable to clearly make out his eyes. And he was unshaven; wearing clothes that suggested he’d probably had an even more restless night than she had.

  This should have pleased her. But it didn’t.

  He looked entirely to inviting as he stood before her with his thumbs casually hooked onto his pants pockets. Annoyance and unexplained pleasure flared through her, simultaneously.

  How dare he still have the nerve to show up on her doorstep? Especially, when he’s looking all sexy and unshaven. How’s a woman supposed to stay angry at a man who looks like that?

  Gavin greeted her with a warm friendly smile even though he’d recognized her unwelcoming glare and cold, thorough perusal of him.

  He grinned sheepishly.

  “I told you last night that I’d be stopping by your house today.”

  After tossing and turning for most of the night, he’d come to the conclusion that honesty was the best way to handle a woman like Olivia Jones. She wasn’t the type of woman who’d want to be charmed or liked facades. No matter how difficult it might be for him, Gavin instinctively knew he’d have his best shot with her by just telling the plain truth.

  “Olivia, I need to speak with you, alone.”

  His lips threatened a grin as he continued on. “While I was waiting for you to answer the door, I noticed Maddy through the window. Since she’s here, maybe we could go for a drive and talk.”

  He watched her eyes flash angrily. Knowing the answer before she even utte
red a single word, Gavin decided it was worthwhile to risk igniting her temper. So he leaned in, very close, and whispered against her ear.

  “I’m sorry about last night. Not about finally kissing you, but because of how I treated you afterwards. I was so overwhelmed by how intensely I wanted you that I behaved badly.”

  Then he tilted her chin up with his hand so he could look deep into her eyes and she saw the intense fiery gaze which had been obscured in the shadow of his baseball cap. Suddenly, Olivia was acutely aware of the fact that her anger and resolve had simply melted away.

  Gavin made immediate note of the subtle changes in her eyes and body language as her mood shifted and literally felt a wave of relief slide over him.

  Olivia heard the boys shuffling and stomping down the hallway, to see who was at the door, and with difficulty, she managed to finally drag her eyes away from his.

  “Why don’t we take a walk down the lane instead?” Gavin suggested as he greeted the boys with a wide smile and leaned over to the tousle their unruly heads of hair.

  “I need to talk to you about some information I acquired yesterday. I think it’ll best if we speak in private.”

  Olivia lifted her gaze and glanced around to find her sister curiously leaning against the wall in the foyer.

  “Maddy, I’m going for a short walk,” she stated without making eye contact with her.

  “Fine with me, take your time. I’ll keep an eye on dinner,” Maddy assured her with a brilliant smile. Grabbing her jacket from the hall closet, Olivia followed Gavin down the porch steps.

  They walked in silence, side by side, until they were well out of sight from the house. As she opened her mouth to ask him what he wanted to talk to her about, her words never made it out.

  I’ve waited long enough, Gavin rationalized before rapidly reaching out to bring her to him. The moment his lips brushed hers Olivia noticed the difference in the way he touched her now, versus last night. She melted as he slowly, gently moved his mouth over hers and then coaxed her lips open with his tongue.

  How can he do this to me? Scatter my thoughts so quickly, she wondered, reaching for him.

  Gavin turned his lips from hers, brushing them softly over her cheekbone, they came to rest in her hair. What is this woman doing to me? He wondered, swearing that he’d literally felt his heart quiver inside his chest.

  “Olivia,” he murmured with a sigh, drawing in the scent of her hair and playing with the curling tendrils which had slipped from her loose pony tail.

  Oh no, I’m in trouble, Olivia silently admitted and pulled back to look up into his arresting blue eyes.

  “Is that your way of making sure I’m compliant when you speak with me, Officer Rafferty?”

  His smile was charming as he drawled out, “I do find this works well, from time to time, on strong willed women.”

  Even as he responded to her in jest, she noted a flicker of change occur in his eyes. Only she didn’t know him well enough yet, to recognize it as regret.

  He didn’t want to talk to her about the suspicious criminal activity associated with her late husband or have to ask her questions which would undoubtedly be uncomfortable for her to answer. Not now. Not when she was looking up at him in a way that made him want to lap her up.

  Shifting her to his side, he desperately wished he could shield her from the impending conversation. I’m going to protect Olivia and her boys, he vowed silently. Then lifted her hand to comfortingly hold it within his own and brushed a soft feathery kiss over her brow, as though it was an apology.

  With sincere regret, Gavin proceeded to turn Olivia’s world upside down for the second time in his life.

  Olivia would have sworn she’d just been sucker punched. Struggling to breathe, it physically felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. Everything about her marriage to Tom Jones suddenly seemed like a sham. The man who’d been her husband for twelve years now appeared to have been a complete stranger and their marriage bed, those memories were now marred.

  For Olivia, it was forever tainted, ugly.

  Not my children though, she told herself. Not my four beautiful sons. They were created during a wonderful time in my marriage which was real and not spoiled with lies.

  My children’s lives will not be ruined because of Tom’s mistakes.

  As Gavin watched her, he was filled with dismay, despising the torrent of emotions he’d knowingly brought to her lovely face.

  Noticing she was on the verge of hyperventilating, he guided her over to a large fallen tree and helped her sit down on the trunk.

  “Breathe deep, Olivia. You’re not going to pass out on me are you?”

  He hated being the one to deliver this type of news.

  “I’m not going to pass out,” she firmly assured him, wondering how she was ever going to look at the wedding portrait in the foyer again, without disgust.

  “Gavin, why are you telling me all this? Why does it matter?” Her eyes were huge, glassy with unshed tears.

  “Olivia, I’m so sorry,” he breathed out slowly and placed his hand along her cheek to cup her face. He raised her chin up to search her eyes while he spoke.

  “I believe that whoever devised and executed this insurance scam with your husband, may be the same man who’s been harassing you.”

  Fear twisted with anger, causing her to jump to her feet and start pacing the ground. Walking away from Gavin, she lifted her hands to push hard against both sides of her temples.

  She couldn’t quite take it all in. Tears she’d narrowly managed to reign in earlier were now beginning to escape, trailing uncontrollably down her cheeks.

  Gavin immediately went to her. Approaching from behind, he wrapped his arms solidly around her waist as she allowed herself to cry. Gently nudging her knees, he carefully slid her down to the ground with him. All he wanted to do was hold her; he at least owed her that much.

  Emotionally drained, Olivia tilted her face up to nuzzle Gavin’s neck.

  “I guess I should apologize for sniveling and crying all over you,” she managed in a whispered voice.

  “Don’t apologize. If anyone deserves an opportunity to pour out stress and grief, I believe it’s you,” he said in a low soothing tone while lightly stroking her back with the tips of his fingers.

  “I don’t like to cry. It makes me feel weak.”

  Gavin lightly scoffed. “Olivia Jones, you are anything but weak.”

  “I want to go back to the house,” she whispered, calmly. “I need to be near my children.”

  Gavin stood up first and reached down to help Olivia to her feet. She gazed up at him.

  “I’m glad to have found out from you, Gavin. Being here with you, made it somewhat easier to hear.”

  She placed her hand gently on his forearm. “Please, stay for dinner.”

  Gavin lifted her hand from his arm and stroked her knuckles with his thumb.

  “Olivia, please don’t feel obligated…”

  She didn’t let him finish his sentence. “I want you to stay. I’m not ready for you to leave yet.”

  He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.

  “Then I’ll stay,” he told her.

  What did that man say to her? Maddy wondered viciously as Olivia walked in with puffy, red, swollen eyes. Directing a lethal glare toward Gavin, she immediately wrapped protective arms around her sister.

  “Gavin, now you can help the boys finish fixing dinner,” Maddy instructed in an icy tone of voice. Then she ushered Olivia right up the stairs to find out what Gavin Rafferty had done now.

  As he and the boys muddled through the last of the dinner preparations, they teased and taunted each other. A small food fight even broke out among the brothers until they remembered their mother was only right up the stairs. Reclining against the kitchen island stool, Gavin leisurely watched Olivia’s boys with a grin.

  He realized that he truly enjoyed spending time with them and also recognized that this wasn’t the first time this thou
ght had crossed his mind. He’d really enjoyed their company the night he’d stopped by to talk with Jeff Masters, too.

  When Maddy and Olivia came back downstairs about an hour later, they both returned with swollen, bloodshot eyes. As they rounded the corner, both sisters were touched when they found Gavin wrestling the twins in the family room while Tommy and Michael cheered him on. Maddy stole a quick peek at the warm smile spreading over Olivia’s face.

  Right then and there, she decided that Gavin Rafferty would be a dead man if he dared to break any of their hearts. Then Maddy hugged her older sister and excused herself for the evening.

  Once the boys’ nighttime routine was completed, Olivia quietly made her way downstairs and wandered toward the front living room. She found Gavin, wearing a lazy half smile, as he casually perused the framed family photographs scattered about the room.

  I have some serious thinking I need to do, she thought as she stood in the doorway, watching him. Nerves began fluttering within her stomach while she tried to control the sudden intense need to occupy her hands.

  When he realized she was standing there, Gavin lifted his head from the picture he was studying, caught her gaze and flashed a disarming smile.

  Her heart, literally, skipped a beat.

  “I’m sorry it took me so long to put them to bed,” she murmured, crossing the room to join him.

  “Olivia, you are an astounding woman,” he told her and reached out to take her hand in his.

  He’d watched her tonight, with her sons, and was once again impressed by her devotion to her children, always putting her own needs or concerns last. He’d realized what he’d once considered coldness or indifference to the news of her husband’s death had actually been her instinctive need to nurture her children and an indomitable inner strength. The woman was far from cold. He’d discovered that first hand.

  Now, he needed to touch her. Lifting her hand to his lips, he lightly kissed the back of her fingers as he kept his gaze on hers.