“You think I’m mad at you?” He knew that she’d said other things after that, but his brain had kind of gotten stuck on that.
“You are.” She shrugged as if it was not an assumption but a foregone conclusion.
“No. I’m not.” Billy felt a hell of a lot of things when it came to Maxi. The list was long. Lust. Fear. Need. Anxiety. Possessiveness. Confusion. Desire. But anger wasn’t on it.
“Yes, you are.” Confusion swam in her bright blue eyes as they searched his. She lifted her hand and started counting on her fingers. “You couldn’t even look at me when you walked into Jessie’s office earlier today. You haven’t been yourself, even around me, especially around me. Jana was practically throwing herself at you and you barely noticed. You haven’t said more than ten words to me or anyone else the entire night. I know you hate when people keep things from you. Lie to you. I remember…I mean…I just…I know you. I know when you’re mad.”
Billy knew what she was talking, or actually not talking, about. One night, right after he’d started training with Charlie, his mom had come down to the gym, drunk off her ass. She’d told him that her boyfriend had locked her out of their apartment and she’d demanded that Billy go “kick his ass.” When he’d refused, and told her to go sober up, she’d started offering sexual favors to the other boxers in the gym in exchange for them beating the shit out of her boyfriend.
He was so angry that his mom could do something so humiliating. Drunk or not, at that point he didn’t care. He couldn’t even look at her. Charlie had helped him get her out of the gym and on the way home she’d passed out. When they got her to the apartment her boyfriend said that she’d stormed out screaming that her son was going to kill him because she’d found a text from another woman.
He’d gone home with Charlie that night, and Maxi had stayed up watching movies with him. She hadn’t pushed him to talk and they’d never spoken about it since.
Billy shifted, turning towards Maxi. His emotions and hormones were running on overdrive. As much as he was worried that he was going to say or do something that he shouldn’t, he knew he needed to set her straight.
It was a long shot that she would take him at his word, but he figured he might as well give straightforward one more try. “I’m not mad at you.”
Crossing her arms, she tilted her head to the side and, shock of all shocks, had more questions. “Okay. Then why didn’t you look at me, say anything to me, when you came to SPC?”
What am I, on trial?
“Why did you ignore Jana all night? Why have you been so quiet? Getting you to talk has been like pulling teeth.”
Okay. I guess so.
The only good thing that was coming out of this inquisition was that his lower half was no longer standing at attention. He leaned back against the couch and tried to figure out what to say to her. He couldn’t tell her the truth. That after he found out what was going on, his world had stopped and he couldn’t breathe until he’d seen that she was safe.
She didn’t need to know that when he walked into that office, her back was to him, and even though he had visual proof that she was alive and unharmed, he couldn’t quite process it. He wanted to…no needed to pick her up, carry her out of that office, take her to the closest private room and prove to both of them just how alive she was.
That even now, all he wanted to do was hold her. Feel her breathing against him. Keep her in his arms and never let her go.
Since he couldn’t say any of that, as calmly as possible, he tried to explain his behavior in a way that would be rational and normal. “I’m not mad. I’m on the job. This isn’t a social call. We’re not hanging out. I wasn’t on a date. I was working. You know how serious I am when I’m training. This is the same thing.”
Billy couldn’t count the number of times that Maxi had witnessed him getting ready for a fight. She knew that when he had a goal, an objective, he was laser focused. Nothing distracted him…well, except her. But she didn’t know that.
He could see the wheels turning in her beautiful mind. She was considering his explanation, but she wasn’t totally sold. Probably because she knew him too well. He figured his best move would be redirection. He was in no frame of mind or body to get into a battle of wits with her. And honestly, he didn’t think she was either.
“Wanna watch a movie?” he suggested.
“Wait!” Her eyes lit with realization as she pointed at him. “You’re spending the night.”
He didn’t really think that was a question but he answered anyway. “Yep.”
A slow, sly grin spread on her face as she wagged her brows. “I might as well take advantage of it.”
Despite the mischievous expression that she wore, Billy did not get his hopes up that her intentions were anywhere close to where his mind would be if he’d said those words.
He was proven right when she clapped her hands together. “I’ve been wanting to watch The Conjuring 2. Now I can.”
Billy was not a fan of the horror or thriller genre. They stressed him out. In fact, the only scary or suspenseful movies he’d ever seen were when Maxi was a teenager. She couldn’t watch them by herself, because her vivid imagination ran wild and she’d be scared for weeks. Yet, she still loved them…go figure.
“You still can’t watch them by yourself?”
“No.” She shook her head emphatically. “It’s even worse now that I live alone. I can’t watch them at all. Not if I plan on getting any sleep for at least a week after. But, since you’re here, I can. I won’t be scared. You’ll protect me.”
Billy wasn’t sure if she was just talking about the movie, or everything else that was going on in her life. What he was sure about was the pride that swelled in his chest hearing her tell him that she wouldn’t be scared with him there. He wanted to stand up and pound on his chest Tarzan-style, knowing that she trusted he would keep her safe.
As she grabbed the remote and started scrolling through Netflix, Billy tried to silence the thoughts that were crowding his brain. Thoughts like, he wanted to be the one that made her feel safe every night and day for the rest of her life. That he never wanted her to spend another night alone. That he never wanted her to go on another date with anyone other than him ever again.
She scooted closer to him, tucking her feet beneath her as the opening credits began playing and Billy’s chest swelled again. This time it wasn’t filled with pride, it was filled with the knowledge that this, being here together, felt natural. It felt right. Like this was where he belonged.
He needed to remember the reason he was here. In the three years since Maxi had bought this place, this was the first time he’d ever been invited to her apartment. And he wasn’t really invited now. He was here because she was in danger. He was here to protect her.
When this was over, everything would go back to the way it was. This was temporary. So why the hell did it feel so fucking permanent?
Chapter 8
Maxi’s foot tapped on the hardwood floor as she scrolled through her vendor confirmation emails for the third time. Triple checking the responses had more to do with her inability to concentrate and less to do with possessing a stellar work ethic. Distracted didn’t begin to describe her mental state. Her mind was focused on one thing and one thing only.
Billy Marshall.
Every attempt to tune out the fact that he was here, in her condo, on her couch—the couch that they’d slept on together last night—was a total fail. She’d try to clear her head but sneaky flashes of waking up snuggled against his chest, his arm wrapped around her body, his hand cupping her hip, kept popping up in her mind.
Last night felt so surreal. She didn’t even remember falling asleep. Her last memory of the night before was hiding her face in Billy’s shoulder during a particularly terrifying scene. The next recollection she had was drifting awake feeling warm, safe, and more than a little turned on.
Then her turned on state got turned up when she’d felt the vibration through his chest on h
er cheek as he’d said, “Good morning, gorgeous.”
That’s when she’d shot up off the couch like she’d sat on a porcupine. Her momentum resulted in her feet fumbling over each other. She stumbled, tripped, and even did a little spin just to stay on her feet. Normally she needed a cup of coffee before she was able to string two words together much less move like Jagger, but not this morning. Java had nothing on arousal. She was practically tap dancing and she’d barely opened her eyes.
Morning afters had never been something that Maxi had excelled at. She’d always chalked up her inability to gracefully navigate the awkwardness to a lack of experience. This morning wasn’t technically a “morning after” but she’d handled it with about the same amount of smoothness. Instead of saying good morning like a normal person, she’d sprung up from her seat and done her best speed walker impression to her bedroom where she’d changed into running clothes.
When she appeared from her room Billy insisted on going with her, so he changed and accompanied her on her five mile run. She loved running with him. His presence not only made her feel safe it also inspired her to push herself even harder than she normally did. The entire time she’d had to keep reminding herself not to get used to him being there.
After the run they’d returned home where he’d made breakfast while she took a shower. He was a great cook. Much better than her. Her dad always took Billy up on his offers to cook Sunday dinner, her offers…not so much. He’d say he was in the mood for Chinese or pizza, that he enjoyed cooking and it was his time to relax, or that she worked so hard and he wanted her to relax. All of which was code for: your cooking stinks. It was true, it really did.
When breakfast was done Billy took an uncharacteristically speedy shower while she washed the dishes. For as long as she could remember he’d had a reputation for taking long showers. It was a running joke at the gym that he needed the extra time to wash off all the skank. But today he’d been in and out in less than five minutes.
During the short reprieve of alone time she’d tried to build up some emotional protection, but before she could he was back and sexier than ever. The scene was straight out of a movie. The bathroom door opened and he stepped out surrounded by steam. As he walked towards her in slow motion (at least that’s how her brain had seen it) the seductive combination of clean and masculine scent filled the air. His hair was damp causing it to be a shade darker which highlighted his golden brown eyes. But the real show-stopping panty-melter was the five o’clock shadow he was rocking. The light sprinkle of hair peppered on his chin had Maxi’s hands itching to touch it.
One look at him and she’d known that no mere mortal woman could resist his appeal. So she’d grabbed her computer and claimed she needed to work. That was three hours ago. Since then he’d been on the couch watching TV and she’d been at the kitchen table “working.” Or, at least trying to. To her credit, it wasn’t just his presence, though that was more distracting than fresh baked cookies when you’re on a no sugar diet. No, there was another element breaking her concentration as well. His phone was going off every few minutes, or at least that’s what it felt like. The few times she had been able to concentrate and get a flow going the thing would vibrate with either a text or call. Billy would pick it up, check it, type quick responses and put it down.
The first ten times he’d received a call or text Maxi had asked if there was any news on the case. She figured that Detective Grover would call her if there were any breaks on the law enforcement side, but if Seth found anything out chances were he’d contact Billy. So far, every time she’d asked, he’d say no and hadn’t elaborated on who was contacting him. Not that he owed her any explanation. He didn’t. But that didn’t stop her from wanting to know.
Stretching her arms above her head, she inhaled deeply and exhaled audibly before diving back into her inbox. She scanned for anything that needed her attention. When she heard the buzzing of a phone she automatically thought it was Billy’s but when her eyes lifted she noticed the screen on her phone was lighting up.
Grabbing the device from the table she saw that it was Jana texting her. Her friend asked how Maxi was doing. She responded, telling her that she was fine. The next text came through before she’d even set the phone back down. She was asking if Billy had fun last night.
Maxi felt a flitter of excitement at having an excuse to ask him. “Jana wants to know if you had fun last night.”
“Yes and no,” he answered without turning around.
She typed his response, hoping her friend would ask a follow up.
So when Jana asked if he could be more specific Maxi wanted to give her friend a virtual high five.
“She asked if you could be more specific,” Maxi’s tone was intentionally dripping with casual indifference.
There was a silent pause before he turned his head and when his light brown stare met hers her pulse raced like it was in the lead on the last lap of the Indy 500.
“The poetry was worse than getting a root canal but the movie and sleepover were more fun than I’ve had in a while,” he ended with a wink.
“Pffft,” Maxi huffed in disbelief. There was no way he’d actually had fun sleeping sitting up on a couch with her using him as a pillow. She had, but her personal life was nothing to write home about. His, on the other hand, had entire blogs dedicated to it. Or at least it had when he was fighting.
Even though she knew he couldn’t possibly have meant what he’d claimed, she couldn’t help the giddiness that his statement caused to bloom low in her belly.
After typing back a response telling her friend that poetry wasn’t really his thing, she decided to give up on “working” and closed her computer.
“What did you tell her?” Billy’s arm rested over the back of the couch.
“That poetry really isn’t your thing.”
“Why didn’t you tell her what I actually said?”
“I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.”
“What would the wrong idea be?”
Maxi knew that she was being baited but that didn’t stop her from biting. Hook, line and sinker. “That you and I had a sleepover.”
“We both slept, together, overnight.” His voice grew deeper with each word he spoke. “What would you call it?”
Sitting back in her chair she crossed her arms. “I would call it me falling asleep and you being too nice to wake me up.”
He opened his mouth to respond at the same time his phone buzzed.
“Go ahead.” Maxi motioned to his phone when he didn’t pick it up. “I know that babysitting me is getting in the way of your active social life. I don’t want one of your lady friends to send out a search party for you.”
Billy grinned. “Lady friends?”
“Your hookups, booty calls, flavors of the day, side chicks—”
“I think you have to have a main chick for there to be a side chick.” His golden eyes danced with amusement.
When she saw his reaction she immediately regretted going down this road with him. “Whatever, you know what I mean.”
She’d spent years avoiding getting into a discussion with Billy about his personal life. Mainly because hearing him talk about women was like a punch in her gut. Why she’d thought that now, when she was feeling her most vulnerable, her most raw was a good time to venture into the choppy waters of his dating pool was anyone’s guess.
“Do you want a soda?” Maxi stood and headed to the kitchen, hoping that she could steer this conversation into safer territories.
“No, I’m good.”
She grabbed herself a Dr. Pepper.
“You don’t have to worry about any search parties, I’m not seeing anyone right now.”
She was glad she hadn’t taken a drink yet because if she had chances were she would have choked or done a spit take. Or both.
With a pretty healthy dose of sarcasm she answered, “Sure you aren’t.”
“I’m not.” His tone was as serious as the look in his eyes.
<
br /> Anyone who knew Billy knew that he loved women and they loved him. He was never short on female companionship. They also knew that he didn’t lie. Ever. Needless to say her mind was having a difficult time with the contradictions his statement posed.
He held out his phone towards her. “See for yourself.”
She wasn’t exactly sure what he was offering. “What?”
“Look through my phone.”
This had to be a trick, right?
His phone would be locked or have some scary picture on it. He couldn’t actually want her to go through his personal messages…could he? Her legs decided not to wait for her brain to answer those questions and they began moving of their own accord.
She snagged his phone. There was no prank pic and it was open to his text messages. A quick scan revealed several girls who appeared to be naked or nearly naked.
“These are personal.” She tried to hand the phone back to him, but he didn’t take it. His stare held a challenge in it and she had no idea why he was doing this. For some reason that irritated the crap out of her. “Who just gives someone their phone to go through?”
“Someone with nothing to hide,” he answered simply.
Touché.
Even though it felt all kinds of wrong to do it, she sat down on the couch and started going through his messages. She rationalized her behavior by telling herself that she may never get another chance to look behind the curtain that was Billy’s personal life.
What she found there was surprising, but not in the way she’d expected.
As she scrolled through message after message from willing, eager females a few things became evident. First, she really had no game when it came to texting or sexting or whatever it was called. These women were at a pro level. Second, he really hadn’t hooked up with anyone in months and even though Billy was basically turning everyone down, he always did it in a classy way. He responded to each and every message even if it was mostly just to reiterate that he wasn’t interested. And lastly, she didn’t have any idea how he kept all these women straight. The sheer numbers and redundancies were staggering. For example on one day he’d heard from three Heathers. Heather H., Heather B., and Heather M.
All He Wants Page 7