“How do you keep them all straight?” She heard herself asking aloud the question she’d thought internally.
“I have a good memory.”
“You would have to.”
As she continued swiping her thumb, seeing text after text, jealousy started to rear its ugly head. It didn’t make any sense that the green-eyed monster was visiting, considering all evidence pointed to him not dating any of the women that had contacted him, but just the fact that he had been with them and they still wanted to see him was not a fun thing to be faced with.
“So what’s the deal? Have you decided to join the priesthood or something?” She handed the phone back to him.
As he reached for the phone the roughened pads of his fingers grazed the back of her hand. “Or something,” he answered with a grin that spread on his too-handsome face, reaching all the way to his expressive, honey-colored eyes.
His smile, his stare, his touch all conspired together, acting like lighter fluid dousing the flicker of lust that was always burning just beneath the surface whenever Billy was near. What had started as a small flame now roared into an out-of-control inferno of heated desire.
This was why she dated guys like Simon. At much too young an age, she’d witnessed what happens when you gave into out-of-control.
On instinct she jerked her hand back, snatching it out of his grasp. If Billy noticed her odd behavior, he didn’t let it show on his face.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” Maxi’s voice quivered.
“What’s your deal?”
“My deal?” she parroted.
“With you and Simon.”
“We broke up.”
A wrinkle appeared between Billy’s brows. “When?”
“Last night. When we were saying goodbye.”
She hadn’t given it a second thought since it had happened. He’d asked if he could see her next week and she’d said she didn’t think it was working out. It was that simple. He hadn’t looked happy about it but he certainly hadn’t looked heartbroken either.
Billy’s grin grew wider as he rested his arm on the back of the couch, making himself at home. This entire scene was far too intimate for Maxi. The sight of Billy lounging in her condo after they’d shared a couch, a run and breakfast together was too much. Sure, logically she knew that he wasn’t here because he wanted to be, but emotionally it felt different. It felt real.
But it wasn’t real. She had to remember that.
* * *
“How long had you two been seeing each other?”
When Billy had handed Maxi his phone his intentions had been pure. For some reason he’d needed her to know that he wasn’t involved with anyone. It was a move that could have backfired on him as she could have easily been disgusted by the number of women sexting him. He hadn’t weighed the risk to reward ratio and if he had he may not have done it. But he was damn happy he had because he’d just inadvertently created an opening to ask her why she had given the limp-dick douche that hadn’t even held the door open for her the time of day.
“A few months.”
“What the hell did you see in him?” Subtlety wasn’t really his strong suit.
“What the hell do you see in the girls you date?” she shot back.
Whoa. If he didn’t know any better he’d say that she was jealous. Which was crazy. He’d been very upfront about the fact that he was attracted to her for years now. He flirted with her every chance he got. He hadn’t let the fact that she was “off-limits” because she was Charlie’s daughter, or the fact that she’d made her own personal rule against dating fighters, or the fact that he’d struck out each and every time he’d gone up to bat slow him down. Because contrary to popular belief, he didn’t play games. If he wanted something, he went after it. And he’d wanted Maxi for a long time. But other than a lingering stare and the flush of her cheeks whenever she accidently brushed up against him, she’d never given any indication that she was the least bit interested.
“I asked you first,” he countered.
When she didn’t answer, he figured she was going to ignore his question or change the subject, but instead she took a deep breath and her eyes dropped to her hands. After a few beats she said the last two words he would’ve expected. “He’s safe.”
“Safe?” Billy had heard of girls dating guys because they were rich, funny, good looking, even because they were assholes and some women were into that. But safe…
She didn’t expand on the word so he asked a follow up. “So why did you break up with him?”
Her gaze lifted, meeting his and he saw her lips turning up in the corners. “How did you know I broke up with him?”
“Simon didn’t strike me as particularly crazy and the only way any man would break up with you is if he had lost his damn mind.”
She shook her head in dismissal of his praise, but her grin widened.
“So, why did you break up with him?” he pressed on.
With a shrug, she sighed. “He was safe.”
“I thought you said that’s why you dated him.” He’d joked before that she’d given him mixed signals, but this was seriously confusing the hell out of him.
“Yeah,” Maxi nodded slowly. “The thing about safe is, sometimes it’s boring.”
“Is that a pattern with you? Dating guys that are safe and then breaking up with them because they’re boring?”
In all the years that he and Maxi had known each other, all the time that they’d spent together, they’d never had a conversation like this. Historically, these were the kinds of talks that he’d avoided like the plague. With any other woman, whenever subjects like these came up he’d run so fast the Road Runner wouldn’t be able to keep up with him. But now he found himself holding his breath, waiting to hear the next words that came out of her mouth.
“Yes.” She shifted so that her feet were curled beneath her and she was facing him. “Kind of like your pattern of dating women that you’re attracted to, but have no interest in getting to know. Once the lust wears off you get bored and move on.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “That was my safe.”
Her eyes widened in shock at his admission. Maybe she’d expected him to deny it, but why would he. He knew his behavior was ridiculous, that’s why he’d changed. He wanted more than just a one night, or three-night stand. He wanted more than just P.B.C.’s. He wanted something real.
As they stared into each other’s eyes the air between them changed. It grew heavier. In the last few minutes their dynamic had shifted. He knew that Maxi felt it too. Her lips parted and her breathing became shallow.
If it were anyone else sitting in front of him, Billy wouldn’t hesitate to act on the buzz of arousal that surrounded them. But this wasn’t anyone else. This was Maxi and right now her entire world was upside down. There was no way he would take advantage of that.
Thankfully, his phone vibrated. Never in his life had he been happy for an interruption when things were going in this direction, but now he was. Glancing down he saw that it was Nate telling him that Jana was at the door. Just as he read the message the doorbell rang.
“It’s Jana,” he told Maxi as she jumped up at the sound.
“How do you know?”
He turned his phone so she could read Nate’s text. “Cameras. Remember?”
“Right,” she mumbled as she walked to answer the door.
Jana came bearing gifts in the form of movies to watch and snacks to eat. The next few minutes were a blur. Popcorn was popped, soda was poured, and chocolate was distributed.
As they all sat watching the new Coen brothers’ comedy, Billy’s mind wandered. All he could do was play and replay the last twenty-four hours in his head. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said that last night was the most fun he’d had in a long time, whether Maxi wanted to believe it or not.
Just like she had a rule not to date fighters, he had a rule never to sleep with women. Actually sleep. To him that was more i
ntimate than sex could ever be. Being unconscious next to a person took trust and he didn’t trust easily. Not to mention it tended to send the wrong signal. Spending the night together was kind of a relationship thing. He didn’t do relationships.
But last night when Maxi had fallen asleep against him, he’d done everything in his power not to wake her up. The feeling of her curled up at his side was more than just nice…it was color. She brought color back into his black and white world. As exhausted as he was he’d fought his own sleep because, just like Aerosmith, he hadn’t wanted to miss a thing.
This morning when she’d stirred beside him, he’d had to fight the overwhelming urge to kiss the top of her head. He’d also had the impulse to pull her on his lap and kiss her other places, but strangely enough the desire to simply press his lips to the crown of her head was more intense. She must’ve felt something too because she’d shot out of his arms like a lit firecracker.
When they’d gone on their run he’d spent equal time grinning like an idiot and scowling as he scanned for possible threats. Between the endorphins that were coursing through him just being near her and the adrenaline that was racing through him to protect her, he felt bi-polar.
And then there was whatever moment had passed between them that Jana had interrupted.
He still wasn’t sure what it was, but it was something. Something that felt very close to real.
Chapter 9
Billy stood by the door in Maxi’s office at SPC. The only sound in the room was the click, click, clicking of her fingers on the keyboard. Out of his peripheral vision he watched her sitting behind her desk, her back straight, staring at her computer with her dark hair falling in waves around her face.
“I know you’re mad,” she repeated, her eyes still glued to her screen.
Again? Did they really have to do this again? In the last twenty-four hours they’d had this same exact conversation at least a dozen times. Verbatim.
“I’m not mad, I’m worki—”
“You’re working,” Maxi cut in as she looked up. “Bullshit.”
That was new. “Excuse me?”
Maxi lifted her arms in obvious frustration. “If you have something to say, you should just say it.”
He remained silent. There was nothing else to say. He’d said his piece, she didn’t agree. End of story.
“I don’t have time for this.” She stood from behind her desk and walked around it. “The meet and greet is in thirty minutes and Ricco’s still adding people to the guest list, which I’m having to clear with personnel. The caterer just called and both of the vans carrying the food were in a four-car pileup. And one of Ricco’s boys was detained at the airport for mouthing off to a security guard.”
Since they’d arrived at SPC at nine a.m. Maxi had been putting out one fire after another. For eight hours she’d gone nonstop. The woman standing in front of him took multitasking to a whole new level. When he’d asked her if it was always like this she’d explained that Mondays were hectic, like it was no big deal. He’d always known that she was an intelligent, capable woman but seeing her in action had caused him to have a whole new respect for her.
“Sounds like you have better things to do than yell at me.” Billy knew his statement would irritate her, but he just couldn’t help himself. She was so damn cute when she was mad and there were very few times that he could put her in that state and not be at fault. This was one of those times.
“I can’t do my job with you standing there,” her arms waved up and down, “being mad. I just…I can’t…I need to know that we’re okay.”
Even though he was enjoying watching her get frustrated, especially since he was confident that he was standing firmly on solid ground, the last thing he’d ever want to do is truly upset her.
“I’m not mad.” Billy hoped his sincerity was evident. “I do think Charlie should know what’s going on, but it’s not my call.”
Yesterday morning Charlie had texted both he and Maxi to let them know that he wouldn’t be home that night for Sunday dinner because he was extending his fishing trip through the week. He said that he would be back Friday night. Billy wanted to drive up to Whisper Lake and tell him what was going on. Maxi didn’t.
She’d argued that there was nothing her dad could do other than worry. That he needed the vacation because he’d seemed really tired lately. And as much as Billy thought that Charlie needed to know what was going on with his daughter, he had to admit that Maxi made a legitimate point. Charlie had seemed tired lately and even if he knew, there was nothing he could do. Still, it just felt wrong to keep him in the dark.
But that wasn’t why he’d been so quiet. His lack of conversation had more to do with the fact that he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. Billy had been accused, more than once, of having no filter. Of saying whatever came into his head. That wasn’t completely true, but there was definitely a kernel of truth in that. So this weekend had been an hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute marathon of keeping what he was thinking to himself.
After Jana left Saturday evening, he and Maxi had dinner and watched TV before she excused herself to go to bed. Disappointment had flooded him that she hadn’t fallen asleep against him. He’d wanted to suggest that they stay out in the front room together again. He’d even considered telling her it would be safer. But that was ridiculous. The security system that Seth had installed was top notch and there was twenty-four hour surveillance on all the entry points of her condo.
So instead of protesting, he’d taken the guest room. He’d spent the last two nights tossing and turning. It was more than just restlessness, or being on the job. His fitfulness was due to feeling like something, or more accurately someone was missing.
Several times he’d gone in to check on her, justifying his behavior by telling himself that he was just doing his job. Each time he’d found her in bed sleeping peacefully, her room illuminated by a night light. She obviously wasn’t suffering from the same edginess and turmoil that was afflicting him.
But she had to sense that there had been a shift in the tectonic plates of their relationship, right?
Over the past forty-eight hours he’d been so tempted to ask her, but how could he? Her life was in upheaval. Someone was harassing her. She had to have round the clock security. Not to mention this was one of the most important weeks in her professional life. How could he explain to her that one night, one innocent night with her had changed him? Changed them. He didn’t even understand it himself.
So, he’d remained silent. Whatever was or was not going on between them wasn’t important. Her safety. Her well-being. Her happiness. That was all that mattered.
Still interpreting his silence incorrectly, she lifted her hands in mock-surrender. “Okay, fine. Say we tell him. What would interrupting his vacation do?” Maxi shook her head slightly as she stepped forward, closing the distance between them to only a couple of inches. “What purpose would him knowing serve? He would get upset. He would demand I go stay with him. He wouldn’t let me be alone for a minute. You’re already taking care of all that.”
Billy flexed his hands at his sides. Saying the wrong thing wasn’t the only thing he was fighting. The intense attraction that he’d felt for years for the dark haired beauty in front of him had now reached new levels. The desire, the need to reach out and touch her, to feel her soft skin, to kiss her full lips was so overwhelming it was unbearable.
Oblivious to his torment she continued, “He needs this time. He needs the rest. I know you don’t agree with me, and he wouldn’t either, but I’m right. You just have to trust me.”
Reaching out she placed her hand on his forearm and the sensation of her fingertips brushing his skin sent a ripple of arousal and awareness spreading through him like a wildfire.
His heart slammed in his chest as he looked into her pleading eyes. The fragile vulnerability that he saw there was making it a thousand times harder not to pull her into his arms.
Somehow managing to keep his arms,
lips, and hands to himself, he assured her, “I trust you.”
Billy knew that those were not the three words that most people waited their lives to hear or say, but they were to him. To him trust was right up there with love. Not that he’d ever been in love. At least not in the forever, soul mate, one-and-only kind. Trust held just as much of a sacred place to him, if not more. From what he’d seen people fell in and out of love easily, frequently, and without much discernment. Trust was earned. Trust was built. Trust was intimate.
He heard her phone buzzing but instead of returning to her desk, Maxi remained standing in front of him. He had no idea if the reason she didn’t leave was because she knew the magnitude of the meaning behind his words, but she definitely looked affected by them. Her lips parted and her eyes dropped to his mouth.
His willpower was dissolving faster than salt in boiling water. Like magnets being pulled towards each other he lowered his head as she lifted hers. Rational thought slipped away as his mouth hovered above hers. Need coiled in him like a cobra waiting to strike. The only thing he knew was he needed to taste her, needed to feel her lips beneath his.
The sounds of footsteps approaching the office door made their way into his consciousness and snapped Billy out of the lust haze that had settled over him. Although he doubted that whoever was coming was dangerous, instinct kicked in and Billy wrapped his arm around Maxi as he shifted to her left so that he was standing in front of her.
“I’m sorry to,” Martin spoke loudly as he pushed open the office door but stopped short when he saw Billy, “interrupt.” Martin finished with a smile that did not look like he was sorry at all as he tilted his head, looking past Billy to where Maxi was standing.
Billy felt Maxi tense as she stepped forward, clearing her throat before asking, “What’s up?”
Martin’s brow raised and his mouth turned up in a smirk.
All He Wants Page 8