“I’m partial to brunettes,” Billy answered as a full-blown Cheshire-Cat smile spread across his sexier-than-sin face.
Thankfully, her dad’s dinner arrived and she wasn’t subjected to any further conversation on her least favorite topic.
As her dad reluctantly ate, Billy moved his hand so that it was resting on Maxi’s knee, which she hadn’t noticed had started bouncing up and down. His touch was like a shot of whiskey, spreading warmth through her. She’d spent all day in the hospital room with Billy sitting beside her, but they hadn’t had any contact. She missed it. She craved it.
If this was how she felt after one day without his touch, she didn’t need a professional opinion to know that she had it bad. Really bad. And she had no idea what to do about it…
Chapter 19
“Oh my God, this is so good.” Maxi closed her eyes and moaned as she took another bite of Billy’s homemade lasagna.
With each sound of satisfaction she expressed, Billy’s pants grew tighter. When he’d made Maxi’s favorite dish for dinner tonight, his goal had been for her to finally eat a good meal; it had not been for him to get blue balls. It looked like that just turned out to be an unfortunate side effect now that he knew what it felt like to be inside of her when she made those same noises.
After several more bite-orgasms, Maxi sat back in her chair and sighed. Billy couldn’t help but smile at how cute she was. After her shower she’d changed back into his shirt, even though Jessie had dropped off her bag this morning and Jana had packed her sweats and pajamas. He tried not to read too much into her choice of wardrobe, but he couldn’t help feeling happy and a little possessive about it.
Leaning forward, she rested her forearms on the kitchen table. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
She hesitated for a moment before continuing, “Did you know anything about my dad buying the gym?”
“No,” he answered honestly.
He’d heard rumors that Lloyd might be moving and if he did he was planning on selling the gym, he’d even briefly thought about buying it. But that was as far as it had gone. When he’d asked Charlie about it, just a few weeks ago, the man had changed the subject so fast Billy had wondered if he’d even heard him. The interaction had seemed strange to him at the time, but he let it go. Now he knew it was because Charlie himself was buying the gym.
Maxi’s lips pursed and her eyes dropped to her hands. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head. She was a classic over-thinker and normally he’d let her work out whatever it was she was processing, but with everything that was going on he didn’t think that was a good idea. The problem was, getting Maxi to open up was like using a toothpick to pry open a clam that was super glued shut.
“If you could have any super power, what would it be?” He tried a non-direct approach.
She shook her head slightly in confusion. “What?”
“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” he repeated.
“Umm…” Her eyes lifted to the ceiling as she pondered his question before answering, “I guess I would want to fly.”
“Solid choice.” He nodded in approval.
Tilting her head to the side, she stared at him like he’d grown a second head.
“Now is when you ask me what I would choose,” he prompted.
A knowing expression dawned on her face. “Ah, okay, I was wondering where this was going.” A small grin pulled at her lips and she played along. “Billy, if you could have any superpower what would it be?”
“Funny you should ask,” he said with mock surprise. “Well, I’ve always been torn between shapeshifting and telekinesis. I mean how cool would it be to turn into a lion then morph into a fly, or be able to move any object with just my mind. But now, right now if I had to choose I would pick mind reading. Hands down. No question.”
“Mind reading?” Maxi’s brow knitted.
“Yep. That way I would know what was going on behind your beautiful baby blues.”
“Wow.” She smiled as she shook her head back and forth. “Does that line ever work?”
“I don’t know.” His left shoulder raised in a shrug. “I’ll get back to you in a few minutes.”
Her head fell back as she laughed. It was the sweetest sound in his entire world.
“That was a long way to go just to find out what I’m thinking about. You could’ve just asked me.”
“Where would the fun be in that?” he grinned.
A soft sigh fell from her lips before she inhaled deeply. “I was just wondering why you said you would come back to the gym, now.”
“I’m right here.” He lifted his hands. “You could’ve just asked me.”
“Where would the fun be in that?” She lowered her voice in what he could only assume was her impression of him as she repeated his response.
“Well played.” He loved this. The easy banter. The back and forth.
“Do you really miss the life?” her tone was serious. “Is that why you said you would come back?”
He sensed that his answer meant a lot to her, so he tried to explain the best way he could. “Lately, I’ve been going through the motions of life. Almost like I’ve been sleepwalking. I thought that being in this line of work, it would be something new every day. That there would be excitement and high stakes. But in reality, it’s a lot of waiting around. If going back to boxing wasn’t an option, then this would be fine. But since it is, I don’t want to settle for the second best version of my life.”
Her eyes narrowed. “So, your decision has nothing to do with my dad being sick?”
“Of course it does, Charlie gave me…everything. And then I walked away from it all, from him, and look what happened.”
“That’s not your fault,” she insisted.
He wasn’t so sure. “It doesn’t matter because there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t change the past. But I can do the right thing now, and going back is the right thing. I can keep an eye on things, on him.”
Letting out an audible breath she ran her hands through her hair. “I’m still not sure he should be doing this.”
“Neither am I, but I don’t think we get a vote.”
“Yeah,” she agreed sadly. Then her face lit up. “But, he seems to listen to that nurse Stephanie, maybe we should recruit her.”
“I’m not sure that Tapioca pudding is going to be as valuable a bargaining chip once he gets released,” he reasoned.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
He could see the worry and anxiety that this was causing her and he would give anything to take it away. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t promise her that Charlie was doing the right thing. He couldn’t promise her that her dad would be fine. He couldn’t promise her that everything would work out.
All he could do was promise her that no matter what happened he would be here, for her. “Whatever happens, we’ll get through it. Together. You’re not alone.”
He waited to see if his declaration would be met with dismissal, denial or delight.
“Do you think she’s pretty?”
Deflection…that was a d-word he hadn’t considered.
“Who, Stephanie?”
“Yes, Stephanie,” she confirmed as if the answer was as obvious as finding Waldo in a nudist camp.
He really wasn’t trying to play dumb or buy himself time, he just wanted to make sure they were talking about the same person.
“Yeah, she’s hot.”
A few months ago, he would’ve been more than happy to find out what was under that redhead’s loose scrubs. But not now. Now he only cared about what was under his loose T-shirt on the brunette sitting across from him.
His answer caused Maxi to sit up straighter. She crossed her arms. “You can ask her out if you want to. I don’t care, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Really?” Her words were saying that she didn’t care, but her tone and body language were saying that she cared a lot.
“Really.” She nodded a little too enthusiastically. “If you think she’s ‘hot’ you should go for it.”
Unlike in Jessie’s office when she was protesting too much, now she was encouraging too much. He wanted to point out that if she was Pinocchio her nose would be growing, but instead he just said, “Good to know.”
“Good to know?” she parroted. “So you’re going to ask her out?”
This was a fork in the conversational road. One path led to having a serious discussion about the fact that he was only interested in her and he didn’t see that ever changing. The other path was keeping things light and saving the “relationship” talk for a time that she wasn’t so emotionally raw.
As much as he wanted to lay everything on the table he knew that it wouldn’t be fair for him to do it now. Plus, giving her something to think about other than her dad’s health or the psycho that was harassing her probably wouldn’t hurt either. “I didn’t say that.”
“So you’re not going to ask her out,” she clarified.
“I thought you didn’t care what I do.” He stood, cleared their plates and took them to the sink.
She joined him with their glasses and he could hear her frustration as she snipped, “I don’t care.”
“Good.” He rinsed the plate he was holding.
“Fine,” she snapped.
Teasing her was fun, but the more he thought about it he realized he didn’t want her to really think he had any intention of pursuing Stephanie.
As she reached past him to rinse the glass she was holding, he grabbed her wrist and spun her around so that her back was to the sink and her front was pressed up against him. Placing a hand on her hip he lowered his head so his lips brushed against her ear as he spoke. “Weren’t you paying attention when I said she’s not my type? I’m partial to brunettes. One brunette in particular.”
Beneath his touch a now familiar tremor ran through her as he spoke. The sensation was like tactile Viagra. He grew instantly hard feeling her body tremble.
Knowing that he couldn’t take this any further and satisfied that he’d accomplished his mission and made his intentions clear, he stepped back and turned to the table to finish clearing it. His satisfaction was short lived when he felt the ache of his blue balls return. He never thought that was a state he would need to get used to, but something told him that it just might be…and it was worth it if it meant being near Maxi.
Chapter 20
Darkness surrounded her as Maxi lay in bed next to Billy. Last night she’d snuggled up against him out of emotional fear and exhaustion, but tonight, tonight felt different. He’d asked if she wanted him to stay, she’d said yes and he’d lain down on the other side of the bed.
So, here she was. Lying a foot away from him, in total silence. As hard as she tried, she could hear nothing but stillness. After many years of being in the city, it was a little disconcerting. But she couldn’t deny that it was also kind of peaceful. Everything about being here with Billy was peaceful.
It shocked her that she could feel that way, with everything that was going on. But there it was. Despite still being traumatized by a past that Billy knew nothing about (and, if she had anything to say about it, never would), despite being afraid for her own safety, and despite being terrified about what was going to happen with her dad, there was no denying that when she was with Billy, she felt safe and at peace.
In fact, that feeling of overwhelming calm that filled her whenever she was near him was exactly the reason why she had wanted to sleep in the same bed with him. It wasn’t about sex, although she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t turned on by being this close to him. Sex wasn’t even the most profound thing she felt when she was near him. That would be the calm. The peace. The sense of overwhelming everything-is-gonna-be-alright-ness. And that’s what she needed more than anything right now.
Billy, to her, was like the ultimate Xanax. Only better. While pills like Valium and Xanax only affected a person’s emotional state, giving an inner sense that everything would be all right, Billy did more than that. He not only gave her that soul-deep conviction that everything would be fine, but he also had the goods to back it up. She knew he would do anything he could to protect her and keep her safe.
Even in a situation like the one with her dad, where his powers to affect the outcome were limited, she still had the unshakable comfort of knowing that, if the worst were to happen, they’d figure it out together. Tonight, Billy told her that he would be right there for her, that she wasn’t alone. And she believed him. No matter what he would be there to help her pick up the pieces.
That revelation had caused a knee jerk reaction to bring up Stephanie. She wasn’t sure what she was trying to prove exactly, since she hadn’t really believed that he was interested. Looking back at the conversation she could see that he was toying with her, but in the moment she’d been all kinds of jealous. Instead of getting defensive or launching into a “big talk” that she wasn’t ready for, he’d handled it with his innate charm and wit, two of the things that she loved the most about him.
Contemplating all of this while being this close to him made her want to get closer. She wanted to feel the heat and strength of his body. Since she was ninety-nine percent sure he’d fallen asleep over an hour ago, she did her best to move silently, ninja-style, as she scooted nearer to him. When she made it to her destination she gently laid her head on his shoulder with a sigh of contented relief.
To her surprise, she felt his arm snake underneath her and wrap around her waist, pulling her even closer until she was pressed completely up against his side, wrapped up in the warm and safe cocoon of his arm.
She tilted her face upward, her cheek still pressed against him. “I thought you were asleep,” she whispered.
He shook his head. “I sleep when you sleep. Not before. Not after.”
Even in his whisper, she could hear the commanding, low growl of his authoritative tone coming through and it sent a shiver of excitement up and down her spine.
Suddenly, this wasn’t enough. She didn’t just want to be near him, she wanted to be with him. Nothing short of that was going to be enough. Not even close.
With everything going on, she didn’t want to think about her past or her hang-ups, and she didn’t want to think about the future and what it held, she just wanted to live in the moment. And in this moment she wanted to feel him.
Never before in her life had she initiated any kind of intimacy. But if there was ever a time to do it, this was it. She trusted Billy implicitly. If she didn’t act on her impulses with him, then she feared she never would.
Her heart raced as she trailed her fingers up and down his bare chest and abs, thrilling at the contours of his ripped muscles. She kept her touch featherlight. This entire experience was a dance, an erotic dance, and the worst thing she could do was rush her steps ahead of the beat. She gave her mind plenty of time to get used to what her hands were doing and what her eyes were taking in. So she forced her body to remain completely still except for her fingers wandering lightly over his skin as her gaze tracked their progress.
His muscles tensed and twitched beneath her touch and she smiled a small, gratified smile. She liked the fact that even the smallest, lightest contact from her affected him. It made her happy, and maybe a little drunk with power. Most of all, though, it made her feel connected with him, and that was the most intoxicating feeling in the world. One that she feared was addicting and no matter how much she felt it, she’d never be able to get enough.
As his breath grew ragged, her touch grew bolder as it made its way towards his waistline.
“Maxi,” he breathed, his throat raw. The desperation he felt was evident in his whisper. She couldn’t tell if it was a desperate warning for her to stop, or a desperate plea for her to go on. Or a tense combination of the two.
“What?” she asked quietly, her voice sounding completely innocent.
It was, of course, a false innocence that
she didn’t feel. But since he’d teased her tonight at dinner, she felt like turnabout was fair play?
“Don’t do that unless you mean it,” he replied.
“Do what?”
“Your hand,” he replied gruffly.
She scooted her dormant hand out from where it was tucked between their bodies and held it up, wiggling her fingers.
“What? This?” she asked lightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s just laying here. It’s not hurting anybody.”
The whole time she was saying those words, she kept the tantalizing trail of her fingertips constantly moving up and down his chest and torso, exploring a little bit further south on each trip downward below his waistband.
“That’s not the hand I’m talking about and you know it,” he growled.
A thrill of arousal so hard it almost made her pass out shot through her body, settling in her core. The passion she heard in his voice—the sheer, raw power of uncontrolled sexual energy that came through that growl—was stunning. No wonder none of the guys she’d dated had ever done it for her. They were boys. Billy? He was a man, and it came through in his voice, his face, his body, his…well, everything. Her body trembled at the underlying passion she heard coming through in his voice, and she sensed a shift of energy in the room.
Yep, the beat of the music had just changed. The tempo had picked up and it was time to move this dance forward. A confidence that only he’d ever inspired rushed through her. It helped that they were joking around, keeping things light. It made the entire scene feel less intimidating, less scary.
She dragged her fingertips lightly down his abs one last time and then slid them smoothly inside his boxer briefs, grasping his shaft firmly and enjoying the shudder she felt run the length of his body.
“Oh, you mean this hand?” She asked, never losing the light, innocent, teasing tone she had affected at the beginning of the conversation.
“Fuck, Maxi,” he spat out, “are you sure you want to do this?”
She moved her head and started kissing his neck.
All He Wants Page 16