Utopia

by L. J. Higgins

  “Crap, sorry,” he stopped, concern in his eyes.

  I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I burst out laughing. “Only screwing with you.”

  “Okay, you two. You can play your lovers' games later. I'm on first watch, you two get some sleep,” said Braven.

  Lover's games? Couldn't a girl and a guy be friends? I thought we'd left all of those rumors behind on Utopia. Guess not.

  Vega mumbled to Lark. “All those questions about Braven and me, maybe they should look at themselves.”

  I rolled my eyes at her words but decided to pretend I hadn't heard them. Fletcher either hadn't heard them or chose to ignore them as well. Fletcher and I both lay down again, and I closed my eyes.

  “Night, lover,” whispered Fletcher with a giggle.

  I replied with a backhand to his shoulder.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I was lucky to have had a few hours' sleep when I was awoken by Domino's sobbing early next morning. I rubbed at my eyes and sat up to find her hunched over Alber, Lark rubbing her back. My heart clenched hard and my throat went dry as I got to my feet and rushed to their side. I stared down at Alber, his eyes still closed, his skin a bluish white.

  “No, no, no,” was all I could mutter as I stared at him stepping back. His chest was still, no longer rising and falling. He was gone. Alber was dead. “When? How?”

  “I don't know. He was stable when I went to sleep last night. I was only going to have a quick rest, but I was so tired…” blubbered Domino.

  “There wasn't any more you could've done,” Lark assured her.

  “He's dead, isn't he?” Vega's voice made me jump.

  I nodded. Tears slipped over her cheeks, and she swallowed hard.

  I didn't notice my own tears until Fletcher approached me and wiped at my cheeks, water sparkling in his own eyes. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight to his chest. I didn't mean to cry. I hadn't cried over my own mother's death. But my body shuddered as I cried in my best friends arms. I hadn't known Alber. We'd spoken no more than a few sentences to each other in the short time I'd known him. But there was something endearing about him, something that made you like him. And then there was the fact he'd saved our lives only to lose his own. He'd known living on Earth was possible. If only we'd listened, maybe things would've been different.

  Fletcher released me from his arms, and I turned to look towards Alber's lifeless body once more.

  “What do we do now?” asked Braven, his voice coarse.

  “We burry him. Like they use to do on Earth,” replied Lark. “I think it's what he would've wanted.”

  “But how? We haven't got any tools to dig a hole,” said Braven.

  “Help me carry him further into the rainforest. We'll find a hole and cover him over. I wish there was more we could do. He did so much for us, for Utopia.” Lark shook his head.

  Domino stood and took a step back. Vega put an arm around her shaking shoulders. Braven and Lark lifted Alber's makeshift bed and walked into the rainforest out of sight. Everyone sat in silence, absorbing the fact that Alber was gone.

  I returned to the spot where I'd been sleeping and sat, staring at the stream running beside us, tears still slipping over my reddened cheeks. So many people had died because of the Utopian Guard. My mother, Alan, and now Alber. Did Alan have a family he never went home to? What about Alber? The heartache of the news of my own father's death clenched at my chest. And now I couldn't be sure he was dead at all.

  “I think it's for the best,” said Fletcher as he sat beside me.

  “What's for the best?” I asked confused.

  “Alber passing away. I know it sounds bad, but the poor guy was suffering. Now he won't be slowing us down…”

  “Would you be saying it was for the best if it was Maya who died?” I asked.

  “That's not what I mean. You're not understanding me.” Fletcher's eyebrows pinched in the middle.

  “I understand you perfectly well. What if I break my leg tomorrow falling down one of those stupid hills? Would you tell them to leave me behind because I'll slow everyone down?” I snapped at him.

  “Of course not. That's not what I was saying.”

  “Save it, Fletch. I don't want to hear another word that comes out of your stupid mouth.” I rose to my feet and stormed off further down the stream.

  I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw and break whatever I could get my hands on. Why did people have to keep dying? Why did it have to all be so damned hard? My head hurt from the unanswered questions piling up in my mind. Why was my dad raising me if he wasn't my dad? Was the fact I wasn't her real daughter the reason my mum had always hated me? If they weren't my real parents, who were? Was I supposed to be dead like the rest of the world?

  I wanted to hate my parents for lying to me for the past sixteen years. I wanted to curse them and pretend they never existed. But I couldn't. How could I? If it wasn't for them, I would've died along with the rest of the world's population. I wouldn't have had the chance to live on a floating city, to meet Fletcher. But it didn't stop me from wanting to scream at them, but I couldn't because they were dead. But then again, according to Mr. Saxby, my dad was alive and well.

  Argh, I couldn't take it anymore. One more question or death and my head was going to explode into a billion pieces.

  “Aurora?” Maya's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

  I turned to look at her as she approached. She was still wobbly on her feet. As she reached me, she stumbled a little and I rushed forwards to catch her with my good arm, helping her sit down on a nearby boulder.

  “Thanks. I'm still a bit off balance. Must've been some knock to the head,” she said.

  “Sometimes I think I had a knock to the head and didn't realise it,” I replied.

  She laughed before replying. “Fletcher told me what he said. You know he didn't mean to sound so uncaring. He sucks at saying how he feels. It's a trait of the Saxby men.”

  “I know. I know he wouldn't say something insensitive on purpose. My head is so full, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do,” I admitted. “I'm being so damned selfish. You've lost a friend, and I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself.”

  “You need to cut yourself some slack. You've been through a lot in the last week or so, not to mention losing your dad. None of us know what we're doing. The only one with the remotest idea is Lark, and I still get the feeling he's somewhat winging it.” She gave me a sympathetic smile.

  “He needs to find his feet back on Earth again. I think he's more capable than he's letting himself believe.”

  “He's a clever man, Lark, and loyal. He'll never lead us astray or into danger on purpose.”

  “I feel terrible for yelling at Fletcher. He's the only friend I've got here, and I pushed him away.” I let out a sigh and looked Maya in the eyes. They were a warm chocolate brown like Fletcher's.

  “Don't worry about him. It'll take more than a silly argument to push him away. He loves you, you know.”

  I growled at her. “For the Elite's sake. We're friends. That's all.”

  “I know. That's what I mean. He loves you like a friend, a close friend.” She reached out and placed her hand on my good arm.

  “Sorry, I don't know why I keep lashing out at everyone.” I looked down at my slinged arm lying in my lap.

  “Like I said, you've been through a lot. Your mind must be overflowing.”

  “Sometimes I'm scared it might explode.” It was so easy to be open with Maya. I wasn't sure if it was her personality or because she was Fletcher's sister. “I care about Fletcher, but I won't lie. It hurts he hid so much from me. Everyone I've ever known has been keeping some sort of secret from me. My parents, Fletcher, and even Domino. But Fletcher's always been there, and I can't forget that.”

  “When I went underground, he lost his big sister,” she said. “Sure, he saw me from time to time, but we never had the relationship I would've liked. But he had you. If it wasn't for you, I'm scared he'd still
be buying into the whole 'the Elite are the best people that ever existed' gig.”

  “At least he'd be safe.” I looked into her eyes, so similar to Fletcher's. It was because of me they were both stranded on Earth.

  “Would he? You saw what they did to my dad.”

  “You called him your dad,” I said, surprised.

  “Yeah, well, looks like I may've been wrong about him. Seems he's as stuck in this mess as the rest of us are.” She shrugged as though it wasn't a big deal, but I could see the regret behind her eyes.

  I let out a loud sigh. “How many more people have to die for us to discover the truth? Is it worth finding if so many people have to be hurt?”

  “I don't know. But how can we truly live life if we're living a lie? There was an old Earth saying: 'the truth will set you free.' I don't know how true it is, but I like to think it will. I've spent years thinking it was only the people of the Undercity who were oppressed, but now I think about it, the whole population of Utopia are. My parents aren't free, they're under the control of the Guard, who are under the control of something bigger than we could imagine.” Her eyes glistened with restrained tears.

  She was right. How could I live a life knowing it could all be a lie? “What your dad said about my father being alive. Do you think it was true?”

  Maya nodded. “He thought it was worth risking his life to tell you. I'm not sure where your father is, but from what I knew of him, he'd be doing everything in his power to get to you and your mum.”

  Mum's desperate face flashed in my mind. I wondered if she'd been trying to tell me I wasn't her daughter. It broke my heart to know she died thinking my dad was no longer alive. She may not have loved me wholeheartedly, but she loved him with every inch of her being. Hearing he'd died had destroyed a big part of her, and she was never the same again. Somehow finding out I wasn't her real daughter made her oddness towards me feel okay. Maybe she'd never wanted to save me, but dad had insisted?

  “Guess I should go apologise to Fletch,” I said.

  “Here, help me up. I'll need a hand getting to the others. Getting over here was hard work.” She laughed as I stood to help her up.

  “You scared the crap out of us you know. Especially Fletcher.” I held out my good hand for her to grab hold.

  “I know. But I'm here now. I wish Alber could be with us too.” She pulled herself up to her feet.

  “Me too. I didn't know him well, but he seemed like a pretty cool guy,” I replied.

  “Cool isn't the word I'd use to describe him.” She laughed. “Geeky, clever, nowhere near afraid enough of the situations we went into, but not so much cool.”

  I laughed with her as we walked until our group came into view.

  “Where have you two been?” asked Vega. “Domino's been looking for both of you. She wants to hold a quick goodbye for Alber before we move on.”

  I didn't have time to do more than steal a glance at Fletcher before Vega was whisking us away into the rainforest where Domino, Lark and Braven were already standing over a fresh pile of leaves and branches. I assumed it was where they'd buried Alber.

  “Thanks, Vega,” Domino began, “I wanted everyone to have the chance to say goodbye before we carried on our way.” Her cheeks were flushed pink and her eyes were red from crying.

  Lark wrapped her in his right arm and began to speak. “I met Alber before we'd ever heard of Utopia or floating cities. He was a scientist when I was in the army. When we were forced to work together for a month we became unlikely friends. I was the wild child, cocky and arrogant. I thought I could take on the world and win. Alber was quiet, smart, and his only wish was to make the world the safest place it could be.

  “When I was selected to come to Utopia by Aurora's father Benjamin, I insisted Alber would be a great asset to his team. Little did I realise how big of an asset he would be. Benjamin and I relied on him much more than we should have, and he never once complained, always going about his work with enthusiasm and a smile. Although we weren't easily convinced, he always believed if it was supposed to work in theory, it would work in practice. He was right every time, of course, but it didn't stop us from doubting him time and time again. He knew Earth was safe. He knew it was where we should've escaped to instead of Eden, and I doubted him. Now I will forever have the 'what if's' that accompany situations like this.

  “Thank you for your friendship, Alber, and for saving the lives of the people I care about the most. My only regret is we couldn't return the favour.” Lark wiped at his eyes with his forearm and pulled a sobbing Domino to his chest before kissing her on the head.

  Turning to the group, he spoke, “Everyone say your goodbyes and get your belongings together. We'll be leaving in ten minutes.” When he finished he left us, walking towards our makeshift camp with Domino.

  Fletcher stepped up beside me as I watched Vega and Braven whisper words over the grave. “Did you know Lark knew your dad?”

  “No I didn't.” The revelation was still sinking in. I'd asked Domino so many questions about how and why she knew my father. I'd assumed she would've told me if Lark knew him before Utopia. I was learning fast that Domino held her cards close to her chest.

  “I'm sorry, Rora.” He held my gaze for a moment before dropping it to his boots.

  “Don't. I was being ridiculous. I don't know why I lashed out at you. I'm sorry.” I turned to face him.

  “So you don't think I have a stupid mouth?” he asked.

  “I wouldn't go that far. But I'm sorry I thought you were trying to be an ass.” I gave his shoulder a soft nudge with mine.

  “I can take that.” His gaze wandered to the grave, where Braven and Vega embraced and left towards the camp.

  “You two ready?” asked Maya, stepping between us and draping her arms over our shoulders.

  “As ready as we'll ever be,” replied Fletcher.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  It didn't take us long to pack up our belongings and congregate at the edge of the stream. I'd filled up my bottle of water and gripped it in my good hand once again. While my right arm was fading away with all of its rest, my left bicep had begun to grow a small bulge. I'd always been quick but never strong before.

  “I can take that for you if you want,” Braven held out his hand. With Maya feeling well enough to walk with Fletcher's help, Lark and Braven didn't have to carry anyone anymore.

  “I'm happy to carry it,” I replied, my arm already aching as it had been for the past few days.

  “Always the gentleman, Braven,” teased Vega, her tone of jealousy returning.

  “Only when it comes to beautiful women,” Braven smiled. I hated how it sent heat through my cheeks.

  “We'll take turns with the heavy items,” suggested Lark, attempting to defuse their passive aggressive argument. “I'll take the one Fletcher was carrying so he can help Maya with Domino. Braven, Vega and Aurora, we can all take turns carrying water, leading and making a path and bringing up the rear.”

  I passed the water jug to Braven, happy to have the weight off my arm. “I'll start at the back.”

  “Guess I've got the water,” said Braven.

  “I'll clear the path.” Vega made her way to the front of the group.

  “Okay, let's roll out.” Lark twirled his finger in the air, and we all filed down the stream behind Vega.

  It was strange leaving our camp behind. We'd only spent the night there but so much had happened in those hours. We were leaving one of our team members behind, and somehow it felt like we were leaving a part of our hope there as well. Lark may've been practical and knew how to navigate the crazy landscape, but Alber was the thinker. Without, him I wasn't sure how we were going to make it to Eden or work out how to open my father's locket. Our pace had quickened now we didn't have to drag Maya and Alber along, but the weight of Alber not being with us weighed on everyone's minds.

  The walk was a faster pace than it had been, but also much quieter with everyone lost in their own thoughts. A hundr
ed questions filed through my mind that I wanted to ask Lark about my father. How did they meet? Why did my dad choose him to go to Utopia? Why did he take me with him? But no matter how desperately I wanted to know the answers, I knew I wouldn't get a chance until we stopped again.

  A few hours later, Lark came to a halt in front of us and called out for Vega to stop prompting us all to jog to catch up to him.

  “What's up?” asked Vega.

  “Shhh.” Lark backed up a few steps as I reached the rest of the group, stepping to the side to see what was happening.

  Ahead of him, a shuffling came through the rainforest, and a bright blue bird's head popped into view. The blue of its head had red bits hanging from underneath it, and slick black feathers ran down its long neck and over its rounded body. Two long, thick legs stretched down from beneath it and it stood almost as tall as Lark.

  My eyes widened as it stepped through the trees where I could get a clearer view. On top of its head was a hard black rounded crest. The only animal I could remember looking even remotely like the one in front of us was an ostrich.

  “What is that?” asked Fletcher.

  “An ostrich?” I asked.

  “It's a cassowary. Don't startle it; if you freak it out, it could attack us.” Lark was still backing away with slow steps.

  We watched as the cassowary continued foraging and shuffling through the undergrowth as though there weren't a pack of Utopians watching its every move.

  When it had wandered out of sight, Lark turned to us with a smile. “That was amazing. They were endangered when the world ended. I would've thought they'd be extinct by now.”

  “Amazing? How dangerous was that thing?” asked Vega.

  “If you leave them alone, they aren't dangerous at all. Upset one, and they'll use those giant feet to tear your stomach open,” Lark replied.

  I gave a loud gulp and glanced at Fletcher, who looked just as worried.

  “It's gone now, I just can't believe we got to see one.” Lark was still in disbelief as we began to walk at a much slower pace than before.