Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “You know wherever you want to go; I’m going to cover everything, tuition, housing.”

  “Grady ...”

  “No arguments. This is non-negotiable.”

  She gave him a small smile. “You are the greatest.” She hesitated and leaned towards him, and her lips brushed his, quickly, gently. Grady’s mouth tingled from the sensation of it and he smiled. He moved nearer to her, taking her face in his hands, and once again covering her mouth with his. He felt her little fingers tangled in his hair as he kissed her, as the kiss became more urgent, he heard her moan softly, the sound of it making his cock harden, his pulse race.

  Eventually, he broke away, and they smiled at each other. He ran the back of his fingers down her cheek. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. She nuzzled her nose against his.

  “Come lay down with me,” she said and shifted across the bed—wincing. He kicked off his shoes and stretched out beside her, her head on his chest, his lips against her forehead. She fit so naturally in his arms that his heart felt like it would burst. He was in love with this gorgeous, fragile, vulnerable girl. And right then, right at that moment, he knew he was lost.

  Asia walked straight to the cafeteria the minute she got back to the hospital. You should be visiting your friends, she told herself, but she couldn’t help pick up her stride. God, she wanted to see Parker. Their talks over coffee had been so flirty, so much fun, that she could barely wait to get back to New Orleans to see him. So far it had all been very casual—coffee, text messages arranging … dates? Could she call them that?

  All she knew was, Parker Thomas was the first thing she thought of when she woke. She grinned to herself now as she walked into the cafeteria and stopped, her heart failing. Parker was at their usual table, but there was someone else there, a woman, a blonde, and Parker was laughing with her. He caught Asia’s eye and waved, his smile still in place and slowly, she walked towards them.

  The blonde woman turned and smiled at her warmly, and the relief she felt was all-consuming. Valentina; Oscar-winning actress and Parker’s sister. Oh, thank God. She nearly said it out loud, but kept her face friendly and open. Valentina kissed both of her cheeks.

  “It’s so lovely to meet you at last,” she said as they sat down, “Parker hasn’t shut up about you.”

  “Dude, way to play it cool,” Parker muttered, suddenly seeming less like the medical wunderkind he was and more like a goofy teenager. He grinned at Asia. “Hey, beautiful, good flight?”

  Valentina, it turned out, was only with them for an hour, then had to catch a connecting flight to Europe. She was funny, bright, and told them outrageous stories of life on set. Asia grinned.

  “God, I remember it well,” she said, and Valentina leaned in conspiratorially.

  “Between you and me, you were always too good for Kit. He’s a nice guy, but an idiot when it comes to woman.”

  Something made Asia wonder if Kit and Valentina had ever hooked up; then dismissed the idea—who cared now? Kit was blissfully happy with Bo Kennedy. She wondered if Valentina had someone special in her life—maybe you should spend some time on gossip sites, she told herself with a grin.

  When they were alone, Parker took her hand, his cheeks flushing pink. “So I was wondering if we could go out of the hospital, on a real date. I’d like to cook you something. If you are free, of course.”

  She smiled, her own face blushing. “Love too … tonight?”

  Parker grinned, relieved. “If it suits you … right now?”

  God, yes, yes. “Sure thing. You cook?”

  The red cheeks were back. “I love food, especially French cuisine, but here, I don’t get a chance to cook for anyone.”

  Asia smiled. “That sounds good.”

  His apartment was not as she expected but thinking about it, it made sense. He came from a vastly rich family and his apartment reflected that. A vast open-plan space, exposed brickwork, a kitchen to die for. At the far end, a large bed, swathed in gray, navy, and white sheets. Asia’s heart began to beat faster as Parker gave the quick tour. His hand brushed hers and took it, and he gently pulled her to him.

  “Are you hungry?” he murmured and as she looked up at him, she shook her head. He smiled.

  “Me either,” and he bent his head and covered her mouth with his, his tongue gently probing her mouth, massaging her tongue. Asia moaned as the kiss deepened and she felt him lift her into his arms and carry her to that vast bed.

  God, she wanted this man so badly, in a way she’d never felt before, so that if she didn’t have him inside her now, she would die. She tugged his shirt open, running her hands over the fine smattering of hair on his firm chest. Parker grinned down at her, his fingers on the belt of her wrap dress, untying it and pushing the fabric away from her body.

  “Wow, oh, wow,” he said with wonder in his voice as he took in the smooth curves of her belly, the full breasts, and her rich olive skin. They spent a long time undressing each other, kissing every exposed piece of skin. Parker was tall and well-built, his body firm, if not defined. Asia felt utterly feminine with him; he made her feel so beautiful that she could have cried.

  When they were naked, they lay beside each other for a long time, stroking their hand over the other’s skin, drinking each other in. Finally, when neither could wait any longer, Parker gathered her to him and his cock, trembling and bobbing under its own weight, slid into her, filling her, stretching her out in the most blissful way. They moved together, and as they did, they laughed and smiled and had fun and her orgasm, when it came, was mellow and carried on, even after they collapsed back onto the bed. Asia felt warmth flood through her as she looked at his charming, boyish, gorgeous face and knew she’d found something remarkable.

  Parker propped himself up on his elbow and gazed down at her, his fingers tracing delicate patterns over her belly. “Asia Flynn, you have no idea what you being here means to me.”

  She nodded. “Right back at cha. My God, Parker … if this isn’t a weird thing to say, I feel … free. As if suddenly I get ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is.”

  Parker grinned and kissed her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but as long as you’re happy.”

  She chuckled. “I’ll explain some other time.” She studied him. “How the hell are you single?”

  Parker lay back, and she settled her head on his chest. “I just … it wasn’t something I particular cared about, a relationship.”

  “You slept around?” Her voice held no judgment—he was a good- looking guy.

  He shrugged. “Some. I guess I was tied up with my work. Then I saw you and ...” He made a swooning; gesture, and she laughed. “You have the cutest face,” he said. “Hey, I’m curious … what’s your deal with Grady Mallory? When I met you, I figured you were a couple.”

  She sighed. “You know, we were, God, how can I put this? Laying old ghosts.” She grinned wickedly. “Literally for a while, but then Flori happened.”

  “Regrets?”

  “None. It hurt, of course, but when you see two people that are so right for each other ...”

  Parker stroked her face. “I know what you mean.”

  She rested her cheek on his hard chest. “Can we just stay here and not deal with the outside world for a while?”

  Parker grinned. “You got it, sweet cheeks.”

  Asia closed her eyes, breathing in his clean scent, and suddenly realized why she was so relaxed with this lovely man. It was because he wasn’t a Mallory. She had been too tied up in their world for too long.

  Now it was her turn to find the happiness she deserved, outside that world.

  Grady went to grab some coffee with Jean as Flori slept. The doctor who had checked her this morning told them with a smile that she could go home at the end of the week. Flori had been so happy but now, exhausted again, she’d fallen back asleep.

  Grady carried the tray over to the table, and he and Jean relaxed. “She’s doing so well,” Jean said happily. Jean, a tiny woman
in her sixties, was the spitting image of her daughter, except the dark hair was flecked with white, and the cornflower blue eyes were lined and covered with spectacles. But Flori was there in the easy, warm smile and the plump cheeks which made Jean look decades younger. She was smiling at Grady now.

  “That girl’s crazy about you, young man.”

  Grady grinned and tapped her cup with his. “As I am about her.”

  “Well, I’m delighted, although you may find her father a tougher nut to crack.”

  Grady sighed, nodding. Mac Morgan blamed him for Flori’s attack. “Yeah, but I have to admit, I can’t say I blame him. It may have been Gregor Fisk, that damned coward, who tried to kill her, but it’s because of my family.”

  Jean shook her head. “I cannot even imagine what your family has been through these last few months.”

  Grady was silent for a moment. “Jean … Flori tells me she doesn’t want to go back to Portland. I would like to invite her to come stay with me in Seattle for a while. We, my family, have our base there, security, a home where Flori would be safe. But I wanted to ask you what you thought about that.”

  Before Jean could answer, Parker Thomas interrupted—with Asia in tow. Grady shook hands with the doctor and kissed Asia, who said hello to Jean. Grady looked between the two newcomers—there was obviously something going on and for that, he was glad. Relieved, which was a weird feeling but …

  Asia pulled him to one side. “Hey, you,” she said, her eyes warm. “How’s Flori?”

  He couldn’t help but smile. “She’s being released at the end of this week.”

  “Oh, Gray, that’s wonderful, I’m so glad.”

  Grady hugged her then nodded at Parker. “You and the doc, huh?”

  She chuckled. “Pretty much. You okay with that?”

  He looked into her eyes and realized that whatever happened, they would always share something special. “More than. You know I love you, right? But in the right way, now.”

  “I feel the same. I don’t regret anything, though, Gray, not one thing.”

  He smiled. “Me either. Truly.”

  She snickered and pretended to count on her fingers. “Let me see; that’s two Mallory brothers down ...”

  Grady laughed and hugged her again. A beeper sounded. Parker, talking to Jean, checked his message and, to Grady’s horror, his face dropped. He glanced up at them.

  “It’s Flori. She’s coding ...”

  Every time she went to see the psychiatrist, she got stronger. Yes, it was painful, and Quilla knew as she sobbed all her fear and anger out that something fundamental inside her was changing. She began to feel herself again, to want to be with Jakob, to be more intimate with him as time passed. But it was difficult. No longer did she need the hard, clinical fucking they had participated in over the last few months. Some days she couldn’t bear to think of sex at all.

  Quilla would never forget Jakob’s gentleness, his patience. Not once did he flinch when she would pull away suddenly, fists balled up, panic rising in her, terror choking her. He would simply wait, a hand on her shoulder, her back, or smoothing her hair until she calmed down. She longed for the early days of their relationship where they would fall into bed easily, all of the time, desperate for that connection. Now she felt some of that feeling coming back.

  But her relationship with Marley was fractured. Although she had gone to each session as Marley asked her to, the rift was still there, and Quilla felt enormous sadness and guilt. Marley had gone to Antarctica on another research trip—or rather, she had volunteered to go, and Quilla felt as if she was responsible for her friend’s absence.

  She had reached out to Nan Applebee, Joel’s girlfriend, and the two of them had been growing closer but still, Quilla felt Marley’s distance keenly.

  After a few weeks of psychiatry, Jakob had suggested a vacation, and now they were on the Mallorys’ private island, close to the Hawaiian Islands. From the huge villa, they could see the constant stream of lava from the island’s volcano from a distance, and at night it was a strangely serene sight.

  The island was stunning, a respite, and a haven. They swam and snorkeled and rediscovered some of that joy they’d found so long ago in Venice and Quilla truly started to believe that everything would be okay again.

  They got to Flori’s room as the nurses were frantically giving the young woman resuscitation. To Grady’s horror, they had already shocked her twice, but still the flat line screamed out. Dead. Dead. Parker went into emergency mood, cool, calm, utterly professional, and took over from the nursing staff.

  Grady, Jean, and Asia stood well back, the younger people hugging Jean to keep her from collapsing in terror as they watched them trying to save her daughter’s life.

  Parker got a rhythm, to their relief, then immediately listened to her chest. “Okay,” he said, “I think it’s an embolism, air or a blood clot. Let’s get her down to surgery now.”

  In a whirl, they were all gone, and the three of them stood there, not knowing if they’d ever see Flori alive again.

  On the fourth night, they were lying on the sun loungers watching the sun set over the ocean. Jakob looked over at Quilla, stretched out on the lounger, white bikini against her tanned skin, full breasts and soft belly, and long, slender legs. She looked so much happier and healthier than for months now. She sensed his scrutiny and turned her head to smile at him. “What are you thinking about, Mr. Man?”

  Jakob grinned. “That impossibly delicious body of yours and what I’d like to do to it right now.”

  She stretched leisurely. “Do what you will with it, Jakob Mallory; it’s all yours.”

  “Anything?”

  “Anything.”

  He thought about it for a moment. Then, sliding his legs off his chair, he moved to her lounger and straddled it, lifting her legs over his hips. His hands went to the halter strap on her bikini top and released it, her ripe, golden brown breasts freed. He grinned and made a ‘wow’ shape with his mouth, and she laughed. He drew her hands together and, with her top, bound them above her head.

  Quilla wriggled, obviously turned on, as his fingers slid under the side ties of her panties. “Side fastenings, very convenient,” he murmured.

  “I thought they would be,” she whispered and sighed happily as he removed them. Jakob spent his time devouring her luscious body with his eyes, watching her belly rise and fall with her breathing, trailing the tips of his fingers in gentle circles around her navel. He did this for a few minutes, knowing she loved the feeling of him touching her belly, before moving down into her groin, his fingers exploring her dampening sex.

  “I want to see you,” she murmured, but he shook his head.

  “Oh, no, tonight you’re all mine; do you understand?”

  As he slipped a finger into her velvet warmth, she gasped and nodded.

  “Good. I want you to spread your legs a little wider, beautiful, that’s it.” He moved down so he could taste her, taking the hardening clit into his mouth and sucking on it, teasing it with his tongue, feeling it pulse against his lips. His fingers kneaded the soft flesh of her inner thighs and when he could stand it no longer, he bit down on the soft flesh, hard. He heard her squeak, a little cry of surprise, and glanced up to check that she was okay. She met his gaze, breathless, and she nodded, encouraging him. He grinned and crawled up her body.

  “Quilla, do you trust me?”

  She nodded, her eyes alive with excitement.

  “Good. Because I have an idea … I’ll be right back.”

  He left her tied to the lounger and went to the closet, where he’d stashed some purchases he’d been making. He hadn’t known if she would be up for what he wanted to do, but now … he grinned to himself and took the box out to the terrace. She wriggled with pleasure when she saw him. The light was fading, so he lit some candles and placed them around the terrace. Then he took the oil from the box, followed by a selection of dildos, blindfolds, lube, and other toys. There was a beautifully supple leat
her harness that he had chosen especially for Quilla. She grinned as he placed each one carefully on the table. When he was done, he looked at her.

  “Is there anything on this table that you wouldn’t want me to use?”

  She shook her head. “I told you … anything.”

  He smiled and kissed her. Then, taking the harness, strapped it slowly around her body, the buttery soft leather crisscrossing around her breasts, more straps around her thighs, under her buttocks.

  He sat back and admired her. “Jesus, you’re the most beautiful thing on this planet, you know that?”

  She smiled, blissed out on love and arousal, but said nothing. He grabbed the bottle of monoi oil and, tipping it gently, poured a little between her breasts, so it ran down her belly and into her cunt. He tipped some of the oil into his hands and rubbed them together, then, as she quivered under his touch, began to massage her soft skin, her breasts, and the soft planes of her belly, then finally down into her shaved sex, the oil slick again her skin. His fingers moving against her swelling, aching sex and she moaned, wanting to be fucked by him.

  Jakob smiled. She was completely at his mercy, and the thought was giving him the biggest hard-on of his life. He grabbed one of the dildos, sliding it into her wet and ready sex. Quilla gasped as he moved the toy in and out of her, thrusting harder as she cried out, begging him to put his cock inside her.

  “Be patient, my love,” he smiled as she groaned in protest. With his free hand, he flicked on a tiny vibrator and held it against her clit, making her scream out as the buzz hit the sensitive cluster of nerves at its tip. He couldn’t stop looking at her, helpless under his ministrations and when she came, her body arching up, golden in the light of the candles, he could feel the desperate urge of his body. He ripped the dildo out of her and in one swift movement, tore his underwear off, his cock rearing up, and so ramrod hard, he could hardly stand to touch it, pulling her legs around his hips; he plunged into her, his fingers biting into the soft flesh at her hips.