Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  How embarrassing!

  “New Orleans.”

  “So that’s the accent, then?” It’s a mix of southern and French and its smooth and deep. Sexier than should be legal!

  My hair seems to fascinate him. His fingers twirl it. And though I should stop him, I don’t want to.

  “Some of it. My father’s French and he grew up there. When he met my mother, who’s from New Orleans, he moved to the United States. I’ve spent most summers in France. We have a home in Paris. We speak entirely in French when we’re there. Do you speak any other language?”

  Why does he peer so intensely into my eyes?

  “No,” I answer.

  Cupping the back of my neck, as if he’s about to pull me up and kiss me, he says, “We must remedy that.”

  I can’t let him do that, so I frown. “I’m not sure what you mean by that. My parents may not have let you in on the fact I have a boyfriend. It’s serious. I’m moving to Texas with him in about two weeks.”

  Something flashes in those deep green eyes as he moves his hand away from me.

  Was that anger?

  “They’ve told me.” His words are soft, unlike the look his eyes had for a split second. “By the way, where is he?”

  I wish I knew.

  “Busy, I guess.” My heart thumps hard against my chest. This is also brought to his attention as the machine’s beeps stagger a bit before they return to normal.

  Damn, I’m glad we don’t have to wear one of these things in our daily lives. Nothing would be left to the imagination.

  The hand he runs over my cheek makes my stomach clench and my heart race.

  Damn machine!

  “Alyssa, if you were mine, je ne ferais jamais vous laisser seul. It’s a fact that he hasn’t contacted you since yesterday. Is it not?”

  How is he aware of that? I’ve told no one but Laura.

  I pull his hand away from my cheek. It’s very distracting. “First thing, what did you say to me? The use of English is probably a much better idea if you’d like me to be able to hold a conversation with you. Although it sounds gorgeous, for all I know, you’ve just told me I look fat in this awful hospital gown. Next thing, how do you know how long it’s been since I talked to Kyle?”

  Standing abruptly, he turns away. “So that’s his name.”

  What the hell is it with this guy? He’s awfully dramatic. Is this how all the people from New Orleans act?

  “Yes, that’s my boyfriend’s name. So how about answering my questions?”

  Turning back to me, his eyes burn into mine. “What I said was that I would never leave you alone. The other thing you asked was told to me by the girl who came to see you while you were still unconscious. She said you must’ve been distracted by your boyfriend’s disappearance since you hadn’t talked to him since yesterday. I think she told me her name was Lauren. Your mother told her you were here.”

  “Laura, her name’s Laura. Is she still here?”

  “She had to leave. It got late,” he says as he takes a seat on my bed again. “It’s after midnight. You were out for a long time. I was very worried.”

  Really? I don’t see how.

  “Why? I mean, you don’t know me?”

  “Must you know a person to worry about their health?” His question makes me feel like an ass for asking him such a thing.

  In an attempt to be more cordial, I say, “Sorry. I’m crabby, I guess. You’re so nice and must be very compassionate. It’s rude of me to ask you such questions. So what has you visiting our tiny town?”

  Hesitant, he finally answers. “I’m on my way to Los Angeles and thought it would be nice to take some time here to visit your family. Our parents were very close. I’m curious about the people my parents care so much for.”

  The way his eyes move slowly around the room makes him appear distracted. “What are you going to Los Angeles for?”

  My voice gets his attention and he looks back at me. Trailing his fingers lightly over my arm, leaving it tingling, he says, “Just business. Nothing worth talking about.”

  I should make him stop touching me. Yet the words refuse to come out. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. It’s as if electricity flows between us in a way I could’ve never imagined.

  Is it weird to feel like you know someone you’ve just met?

  CHAPTER 10

  EDEN

  Beautiful even in her sleep, my eyes refuse to leave her face. No sleep will find me on this night as I can at long last gaze upon her.

  The pictures I have of her do her no justice. Her voice is even more delightful than I imagined it would be. It’s the slightest bit high, while smooth as silk and completely intoxicating. She is perfection.

  I resist the urge to touch her. I don’t want to wake her. How I’ll be able to keep my hands off her, I don’t know. She clings to the idea of her love for that boy, yet I know she can sense our connection.

  The air between us fills with sparks of electricity. I’ve never had this sensation. She has to sense it as well. Even as she sleeps, she holds fast to my hand. I want to brush my lips to hers so much it fills me with a tension I knew nothing of before her. It’s as if nothing existed until now.

  How I was before, being only half of a whole. Now that I can breathe the same air she does I’m beginning to feel more myself. Odd to not have ever noticed it before. It’s certain once she falls in love with me, I’ll be a whole being for the first time in my life.

  How do I get her to fall in love with me?

  I have no idea how to do that. At the very least, I’m glad that boy hasn’t shown up here. Toni should’ve never told that girl of Alyssa’s accident. Now he could find out and show up.

  Everything would’ve been different if I had just kept Alyssa with me. I suppose it’s useless to be mad at myself for past mistakes, but it boils in my brain.

  My mother warned me and I blew her off. So smart, I thought I was. Now I look back and see that as extreme vanity.

  Since I can remember, I pictured the moment Alyssa first saw me. She would love me, no matter what or how many years passed. That didn’t happen. She didn’t know me at all.

  While my heart skipped several beats when her eyes opened, hers did not. I know this because of the heart monitor she’s hooked up to. It sped up a couple of times when I touched her, though. It’s obvious she’s already feeling something for me, if only physical for now. I can deal with that.

  How will she take the news of her condition?

  The small amount of conversation we’ve had leaves me to believe she thinks herself completely normal. Though she is far from it.

  What does she see when she looks in the mirror? How does she not see her beauty is extraordinary? How could that boy have not told her as much?

  That boy! How I’d like to send him from this Earth! He must’ve treated her like an ordinary girl, wanting to take her to Texas. And for what?

  Was she to play his mistress while he goes to college, leaving her home to cook and clean? He would have taken her innocence without the sanctity of marriage, leaving her soul at the discretion of Our Creator. Then who knows what would’ve become of her immortal soul.

  Though it’s no one’s fault but my own, I’d still like to see his face at the end of my fist, if only a time or two. A bloodied lip, perhaps, or a crooked nose, making him appear unattractive. Alyssa would hate me, though. No amount of self-indulgence would be worth that.

  Her head stirs, turning towards me. Small blinks and then there they are—her gorgeous sapphire eyes. “Hi,” I say in a whisper.

  Her lips curve into a sleepy smile.

  She’s smiling at me, glad to see me still here, I hope.

  “You’re awake.” Her voice is scratchy. I grab the cup of water and place the straw to her bottom lip. Holding my breath, I steady my hand, which threatens to tremble with the need to touch those lips. Readily, she takes a drink.

  “I’m not tired, Alyssa. Glad you slept, though.”
<
br />   The corners of her eyes wrinkle as she frowns. “You should’ve gone back to the house and slept.”

  As if I could ever leave her side!

  “I’m fine,” I say. “I wanted to be here for you. Hospitals can be a scary place when you’re all alone. I would hate for you to be afraid for even a second.”

  Though beautiful in sleep, she is devastating when she’s awake.

  She moves a bit, trying to sit up, and winces. “The pain meds are wearing off. My head hurts so badly.”

  “I’ll press the button and get someone to get you some more. I’m not going to have you in pain.”

  The smile on her face as I press the button shows I’m making progress with her. “Thank you.” Her words fall on my ears soft and sweet.

  I can’t take it anymore. I have to touch her. Almost without any will at all, my hand travels the distance to her cheek. Soft beneath my hand, I stroke it. How badly I want to kiss her and make the pain go away.

  “If I could take it all away I would.” My words flow out before I realize it.

  With a softness in her eyes, she says, “You’re so kind. Why are you so nice to me? You should be home, sleeping, but you’re here with me. Why?”

  Because you’re the love of my life. My mate for eternity.

  Instead of that, I say, “This is where I want to be, Alyssa. Here, with you. I don’t wish to be anywhere else.”

  Her brow furrows. “I need you to remember I have a boyfriend, Eden.” Her words punch me and a nurse walks in, getting between us as she inserts a needle into Alyssa’s IV. I could use a shot of that to numb this pain.

  The nurse turns to me. “This will knock her out again for a few hours. You should get some rest, Mr. Fontaine. I can bring in a roll away bed for you.”

  I wave her off. “I’ll sleep once I get her back home.”

  Alyssa giggles, making me turn to look back at her. “I feel funny,” she says with another giggle, which I find myself captivated by.

  “It’s the morphine,” the nurse says. “Alyssa, you can let your fiancé lie down with you if you want.”

  The nurse’s use of the word fiancé has me worried Alyssa will let out my little white lie to the hospital staff. So I hurry the nurse out the door as Alyssa has a fit of the giggles once more.

  “Thanks. I’ll do it if I get tired,” I tell the nurse.

  Back at her side, I see tears streaming down her cheeks as she laughs. “She thought you were my fiancé. How funny is that, Eden? She thinks I should let you lie in this bed with me! Ha, how crazy?”

  Okay, it’s not so crazy she has to laugh so hard tears flow out of her eyes!

  I pull the blanket up and tuck her in snugly. “Okay, it’s not that funny, Alyssa.”

  Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she stifles the laughter. While captivating, it’s a bit annoying she can find so much humor in us being engaged.

  “It’s just the thought of you and me together like that. Well, come on. You’re so classy and well-mannered and drop-dead gorgeous. And I’m, well, I’m none of those things,” she says, and it breaks my heart she doesn’t realize how wonderful she is.

  She is all of those things and more.

  My fingers trail along her delicate collar bone. I’d like to trail kisses there instead, but I settle for this. Her reaction is clear as the heart monitor beeps faster. I do affect her, even with a good dose of morphine in her system.

  “You are beyond gorgeous, Alyssa. Never have my eyes laid upon a woman as perfect as you are.”

  A dreamy look comes over her. “You sound like the romance novel I read the other day. The hero who saved the damsel in distress. You sound like him. You’re my hero, aren’t you?”

  I lean close to her, my lips touch her ear, and I say, “I’d like to be. If you would let me. All you have to do is ask and I’ll be yours.”

  The sound of her steady breathing makes me look at her. Her eyes are closed and she’s fast asleep.

  I wonder if she heard me.

  CHAPTER 11

  ALYSSA

  Weight upon my stomach beckons me to find out what’s causing the pressure. Dark brown waves highlighted with strands of gold fill my eyes. A squeeze of my hand finds it in the one’s whose head lies on me.

  His name? What was his name?

  Damn this bump on my head. It hurts and leaves me stupid. What time can it be? When can I leave this place?

  Why is he still here?

  Oh yeah, how could I’ve forgotten? He’s staying with us for a week. He’s my parents’ friends’ son. And he’s lying on my stomach for reasons I can’t understand.

  Why didn’t he go home and sleep?

  The warmth of his breath goes right through the thin sheet and hospital gown between us. The dark waves of his hair are mesmerizing. I must touch them, but I’ll surely wake him if I do. I can’t stop myself. Gently, I plow my fingers into the thickness, finding it the softest thing I’ve ever felt.

  He moaned! Oh, crap!

  Pulling my hand back, I feign sleep. The weight is gone from my stomach. He’s sat back up. The sound of his footsteps as he walks across the floor, then the sound of the door closing, lets me know it’s safe to open my eyes. And he’s gone.

  Why does that make my stomach hurt?

  What must I look like? At least the bed moves up on its own with the push of a button. I barely have to move at all to sit up. I pull the table over and open it to find a hairbrush and a mirror, among a few other things.

  My reflection surprises me. My hair’s been combed out and my face is shiny, as if it’s been washed. How hard was I sleeping?

  I also find a small bottle of mouthwash. I swish some around in my mouth and spit it in the empty cup on the nightstand. That is so much better.

  God, I’m starving. Why didn’t they ever bring me anything to eat?

  The door opens and in he walks.

  Why does he have to be so damn handsome? Eden! That’s his name—Eden Fontaine!

  His smile lights up the entire room. “Hey, sleepy head,” he says with that crazy hot accent.

  He has a tray in his hands. I hope it’s for me. “What did you bring?”

  He places it on the table in front of me. “I asked your doctor if you could eat now and he said yes. When he showed me what the cafeteria was planning on feeding you, I said not to give you that disgusting mess. So I went down myself and picked out a few things that looked a bit better.”

  He pulls the lid off, exposing brightly colored strawberries which sit on top of some yummy-looking oatmeal. I smile up at him. I love oatmeal. “Did Mom tell you about my oatmeal fetish?”

  The shake of his head surprises me. “I thought this looked good and healthy. I’m a bit of an oatmeal lover myself. Seems we have something in common.”

  “I see,” I say. We must be on the same wavelength or something. “I hope you ate too.”

  Trailing his hand up my arm, he watches it until it reaches my shoulder, then his eyes land on mine. “I did,” he says. “I had to make sure it was good enough for you to eat before I brought it to you.”

  Wow! How fucking thoughtful this guy is. Never have I met someone like him. Too bad I already have someone. Which reminds me—where is my beloved anyway?

  “It was extremely thoughtful of you to do this for me. You’re the best, Eden,” I say, hoping to let him know he’s a great guy, but we can only be friends.

  I hope Kyle likes him and we can all hang out this week.

  He pushes the button on the bed, bringing me up to a better sitting position. His other hand is running through my hair, pushing it from my face. The fact he touches me so much may put Kyle off. I’ll have to talk to Eden about it before the two meet.

  “You eat while I find something to watch on the television,” he says, taking a seat in the chair next to my bed.

  “What time is it? Maybe Teen Mom is on. I hate the show so much I love it, you know what I mean?”

  He chuckles. It’s soft and flows effo
rtlessly through the air. “I do not know what you mean at all. But if my princess wants to watch trash TV, who am I to stop her.”

  He called me his princess. Man, we have to get this straight, and quickly. “Eden, maybe you shouldn’t call me things like princess and baby. I hope we can all be friends. I’d like you to hang out with me and my boyfriend and our friends this week. But if you talk to me like that and touch me like you’ve been doing, it won’t work out.”

  The look on his face makes me sorry I said anything. “I’m sorry if I’m offending you, Alyssa. If you want me to stop touching you, I will. If you don’t like how I talk to you, I’ll modify it. But please only ask me to do those things if it’s you who’s uncomfortable with them, not anyone else.”

  Okay, what the hell does that mean?

  “It’s not that I don’t like it. I mean, hell, who doesn’t like being called sweet names? My boyfriend, though, he might get uncomfortable, and that would make me feel badly. You understand, don’t you, Eden?” I take a bite of my oatmeal to find it tastes heavenly, with just the right amount of sweetness. “Mmm, really great oatmeal. Thank you so much.”

  The cock of his eyebrow draws my attention as he reaches for my hand, sending chills through me.

  Why does his touch do this to me?

  “He’s not here right now, Alyssa. It’s only you and I, so can I still touch you and talk to you how I want to?” His deep green eyes twinkle at me.

  Sure, he can do anything he wants. Kyle’s not here after all. I blink to clear the dreamy gaze I must surely have off my face. “I guess so.”

  What have I done? Is this a type of cheating? Am I a damn cheater?

  When his lips touch the hand he has in his, I almost faint. My head is so light it’s as if I could fly. “Thank you, Alyssa, my sweet princess,” he says, low and sexy.

  Crap, crap, crap! I am a cheater because I am loving this way too much.

  “Eden, you’re too much. Stop teasing me,” I say with a giggle, because he has to be messing with me.

  Eden moves to sit on the bed in front of me. The remote sits on the chair, so no television right now, I guess. He picks up the spoon I’ve laid in the bowl. Dipping it in the oatmeal, he brings it to my lips.