Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

We’re on the jet headed back to Cloudcroft for Alyssa’s graduation. My parents came too. They’re enthralled with Alyssa, never having had a daughter of their own to bestow dainty gifts on and chat with.

  I am not a chatter.

  Instead of sitting with my mate, I’m playing video games with Scotty. He and I need to bond, Alyssa told me. He’s a nice kid and he’s kicking my ass at this game that I’ve been playing for years.

  Alyssa sends me little thoughts now and again, telling me she loves me and wants me. I send them back, along with how I’m going to devour her tomorrow after we’re married.

  She chats away with my mother, and I find it funny to send her a mental picture of me kissing her between her naked breasts as she tangles her hands in my hair. She turns back and gives me a wicked look. I wiggle my finger for her to come to me. Excusing herself from my mother’s company, she does as I’ve asked.

  “Come, sit, and play with me,” I say.

  She sits on my lap and takes the controller from my hands. Scotty looks over at us for a second and rolls his eyes. “Lovebirds, yuk!”

  I run my hand through my mate’s long, silky curls. I graze her shoulder with my lips and find myself beginning to get uncomfortable in my slacks. ‘Control yourself, Romeo,’ Alyssa’s voice tells me in my head.

  ‘Take me to the bedroom,’ I think back to her.

  She returns with, ‘There is no way in hell I’m going to do that with a plane full of people.’

  I send, ‘They won’t care.’

  She puts the controller down, giving me hope. Then she turns on my lap. “You’re being very naughty, Mr. Porno Thinker,” she whispers in my ear.

  Porno! Really!

  I stroke her cheek as I look into her spectacular blue eyes. They’re different now, so open and really seeing me. “After we’re married tomorrow, I’m going to keep you in bed for at least a week,” I whisper back.

  She trails her finger around my jaw. “Glad to hear that.”

  In an instant, she sends me an image that makes me blush, it’s so naughty. “Alyssa!” I hiss at her. “That’s just too much to take. You have to stop, you temptress.”

  “As you wish, sir,” she says with a wicked smile.

  “Go back and chat with mother. Take your mind off such things. You’re killing me,” I say, sending her away with a small slap to her perfect ass.

  The change in her is exciting. No fear, no doubt, no inhibition. She’s real for the first time in her life. She’s letting her true self out, and it’s beyond beautiful.

  We land and make our way back to the Devlin’s home. I’m staying in Alyssa’s bedroom with her so my parents can have the guest room. This will make it so much harder than it has been to keep our virginity intact, especially as my mate seems to tempt me on a nearly continual basis.

  Even now as she unpacks some of the clothes from her room at the mansion and hangs them next to the plain clothes she’s worn her whole life, she sends me images of us.

  Then she stops and looks at me, her mind blank to me. “I need to go talk to them before I see them tonight,” she says.

  “Do you want me to come with you?” I ask.

  “No. I need to do this on my own. I’m no longer hurt by their actions. I know why, and I need to let them know I’m fine with it. I’ll be back in a little while,” she says.

  She picks up the keys to her jeep and I place my hand on hers. Reaching in my pocket, I give her the keys to my car. “Take the jag, princess. Retire that old jeep.”

  Her eyes light up. “Really, Eden? You’ll let me drive it? And all alone? OMG!”

  I laugh at her over-the-top enthusiasm. “What’s mine is yours, mate.”

  She leaves a quick kiss on my cheek, then she’s gone. I hear her take two stairs at a time as she flies out of the house. Out the window, I watch her walk around the jag, trailing her finger over its curves.

  She gets in, puts the top down and reaches into the glove compartment for her sunglasses. Once she has them on, she looks like a model from a magazine. Perfect in every way.

  Now that’s how my princess is supposed to look. Confident, happy, and out of this world.

  ‘Thank you, Eden. I love you,’ she sends to me before she disappears down the driveway.

  I wander down to help Toni and my mother decorate a cake for Alyssa’s graduation. Our fathers are going over some plans for the wedding at the mansion tomorrow. I overheard them discussing security. They seemed a bit intense and I want none of that.

  After all the intense emotions I’ve had to endure since meeting my mate face to face, I’m ready for some relaxed time. Decorating a graduation cake for my princess sounds like just what I need.

  “Hey, Toni. Mother. Is there room for one more decorator on this cake?” I ask as I enter the kitchen.

  “Of course there is,” Toni says as she hands me some little, white, candy pearls. “Place those around the edge, darling.”

  I open the container and begin pushing the candy into the icing. A bit gets on my finger and I bring it to my lips, licking it off. “Go wash that hand, son,” mother says.

  “Aw, I shouldn’t have done that,” I whine as I go to the sink and wash my hands.

  “Where’d Ally go?” Toni asks.

  “To see Kyle and Laura,” I answer.

  Both our mothers look at me as if I’m crazy. “And you allowed that?” my mother asks.

  “Yes,” I say as I resume the task of placing the candy pearls on the cake. “She needs closure with them.”

  “Best to put them behind her. Her future is far from them anyway,” Toni says as she dollops icing on a pedestal, creating a pink rose. “Again, Eden, you will never know how sorry we are for letting her and Kyle get close. At least that’s over.”

  I give a chuckle. “It will never be over. They were more than close. They had real love for each other. He’s a permanent part of her now. Once we change, it will be even more cemented into her soft heart.”

  My mother stops her icing piping and looks at me. “What are you talking about? That girl is completely enamored with you. There’s no room in her heart for another man.”

  “But there is and he’s there. He’s never going away. I’m okay with it. I have to be. It’s a part of her and I have accepted it,” I say as I push another pearl onto the side of the cake.

  Toni places the rose on the cake, then pats my back. “Ally told you this, Eden?”

  I shake my head. “She doesn’t have to. I can see inside her mind now, since she’s been enlightened. I have the majority of her heart and all of her soul. He only has a small piece of her heart.”

  Mother dabs at the cake with a knife to remove a messy line of piping. “Perhaps you're wrong, son. Perhaps you’re seeing something which is not there. I can’t see her having love for anyone but you. You two glow with the connection you have. There’s just no room for anyone else.”

  “I’m not wrong and its fine. I can deal with it. I can also see she will never hurt me. Whatever their relationship is will not threaten ours,” I say as I place the last pearl on the side of the cake. “There, how does that look?”

  Toni peers at my handy work. “Perfect. Is there nothing you can’t do, Eden?”

  I laugh. “You know what I cannot manage to accomplish?”

  “No,” she says.

  “To beat your son at a video game,” I say, and she laughs.

  The day marches on and Alyssa is not back yet. It’s been several hours. Though I’m not worried yet, I will soon be if she doesn’t return. I’ve sent out thoughts to her, but I suppose we’re too far away from each other to hear them. I hope that gets better after we change.

  The home phone rings and David answers it. “Hello, Devlin residence. Ally, where are you?” he asks. “No, ma’am. Come home, we’re all going together," he says. “I think that’s a bad idea,” he says, then turns towards me, holding the phone out. “She wants to talk to you.”

  I take the phone. “Alyssa?”

 
“Hey, Eden. I want to go with my friends to get our gowns on for the graduation. We’re hanging out, talking about our pasts and our futures, and I want to go talk to the rest of my class too. I’m going to miss them, you know,” she says.

  “Of course, princess. You do that. Have fun and we’ll be there for the graduation. I’m glad you made peace with them, Alyssa. I’ll see you when it’s over,” I say.

  “Okay, I love you, Eden.”

  “I love you too, Alyssa,” I say, then hang the phone up.

  Her father stares at me. “You didn’t have to let her do that. You know you can make her come home and go with us,” he says.

  I look into David’s eyes, because I know he’s raised her under strict conditions for my sake. I can’t blame him for being so over-protective, but I do need him to see the difference in being protective and being unreasonable.

  “David, I fear you have never found the line between protection and unreasonable fears about her. She’s safe and with friends she trusts. This is an important day for her to share with those whom she’s grown up with. We have to allow her the space to have outside relationships and interests.”

  “You know, I heard Kyle’s voice in the background, Eden. She’s with him,” David says.

  “I know exactly who she’s with. We have no secrets between us. It’s impossible. She’s grown up with him and Laura and a lot more people she’d like to spend time with before it’s all over. Only I can stop her and I won’t,” I say as I pat him on the back. “Now, let’s get on that pit you have in the backyard. I’m dying to taste this barbecue your family raves about. Our Creator only knows how many people your daughter will invite back here to her graduation party.”

  He lets out a laugh, then says, “You are something else, son. So secure. I wish I could feel like you do.”

  I wish he could too. I wish everyone could.

  CHAPTER 29

  KYLE

  Holy Shit! Would you look at her?

  I’m outside my house, in the driveway, washing my truck, and Ally just passed by, driving that guy’s jag. The top’s down and her hair blows around her slightly. She looks so gorgeous I think I forgot to breathe.

  Pulling the car into Laura’s driveway, three houses down from mine, she finds no cars there. Laura had to run to Alamogordo to get a dress for graduation and she won’t be home for a couple of hours.

  Ally pulls back out and I’m sure she’ll pass right back by me, ignoring me.

  I have to admit, I was a complete jackass.

  She most likely hates me and I don’t blame her. My head has been messed up about what she’s done to me, but she didn’t deserve what I said to her. What Laura and I did was no one’s business but our own. I know now that I did it out of spite.

  To my surprise, Ally rolls up and stops, waving me over. She calls out, “Wanna go for a ride, Kyle?”

  I saunter up to her and lean on the door. “Why, so you can go drop me off a cliff?”

  The touch of her finger as she tweaks my nose sends warmth right through me. I take her hand and hold it to my cheek.

  My God, how I’ve missed her!

  She smiles at me and my insides melt. “I’m not going to drop you off anything, Kyle. Come on, let’s go to Trixie’s and get something to drink. I’m buying.”

  Though hesitant about this, I decide to go with her. There’s something very different about her. A certain look in her eyes.

  Sure, I’m still afraid she wants to get even with me. Maybe she’s going to poison my drink to try to give me the runs so I can’t go to graduation, but I find her very intriguing, so I’ll risk it.

  “Okay, Al, I’ll go with you,” I say and let her hand go. I walk around the car to the passenger seat and slide in. “Damn, this is the softest leather I’ve ever felt.”

  She looks over at me as she slides her Ray-Bans back on. “I know, right?”

  My God, she’s gorgeous! How did I never see her in this way?

  She takes off, making me lean all the way back into the seat with the force. “This thing has a lot of get up and go, girl. You sure you can handle it?” I ask. I think I want to tell her I’m sorry for telling her about me and Laura like I did.

  She laughs and something in my heart pinches. I find I’ve missed hearing it. “I made it this far so I think I can handle it. So, tell me, Kyle.”

  I look at her and wait for her to finish her obviously unfinished sentence, but she doesn’t. “Do you want to finish what you want me to tell you, Al?”

  Giving me a quick glance, she looks back at the road. “I was finished. I want you to tell me.”

  My hair must be messed up because she runs her hand through it, then leaves her hand on the headrest next to my head. I can smell the lavender scent lingering on her skin.

  “I’m sorry, Ally. I should never have told you what I did. I know I can’t take the words or the hurt back, but if I could, I would.”

  Her knuckles graze my face lightly as she smiles at me. “I forgive you, Kyle. So you really care for Laura. I can see it. She has issues with men, you know. You may get hurt.”

  She can see it? I didn’t realize I was wearing an, ‘I’m falling for Laura,’ expression!

  “That’s a chance I’m willing to take. She’s great, Ally. You know that already. I knew a version of Laura, the person she is in front of others. I’m getting to know the real Laura, the one with insecurities about love and faithfulness,” I say as we drive down main street and people openly point at us as if we’re from somewhere else. “This car gets a lot of attention. Do you see how people point and stare?”

  “The car is beautiful and should be appreciated. I’m sure the handsome young man in the passenger seat is also a bit intriguing to people as well,” she says with a wicked grin on her angelic face.

  What has happened to her? She seems almost like a different person. So confident, and she was anything but that.

  I have to laugh. “Who are you, girl?”

  “Still just me, Kyle. Anyway, I wanted you to know I’m cool with you both. I’m not mad. I was at first, but not anymore. Now that I know you didn’t use her to hurt me, I feel even better about you two.”

  Damn! She’s taking this a lot better than I thought she would. Maybe she didn’t really love me after all.

  She pulls into the parking lot of Trixie’s and parks, then looks over at me, and runs her hand through my hair. “I still love you, Kyle. I always will. My heart will hold you in it forever. I must have you in my life in some capacity. You and whoever comes along with you will always have a place in my life, no matter what.”

  Pushing a curl off her face, I fight the urge to kiss her. “Ally, what do you mean?”

  She pulls her sunglasses off and places them on top of her head. “I mean, I never want us to stop being friends. Just because we can’t be together in a romantic way doesn’t mean we can’t be close.”

  “Does your guy know you’re with me?”

  “Of course he does,” she says as she opens her door to get out. “You should text Laura to meet us here. We can all hang out like we used to.”

  Only this time Laura will be on my arm! Awkward!

  I get out of the car and follow Ally. “I don’t know about that, Al. Don’t you think it’ll be awkward?”

  She looks over her shoulder at me. “I know you do, but we need to get past that. Tell her to come, Kyle, please.”

  I walk a little more quickly to get to the door before she does, opening it for her to go through first. I resist the urge to drape my arm around her like I’ve done for what seems like forever.

  “Let’s get a booth,” she says as she moves fluidly through the dark bar.

  Ally slides in and I take the seat across from her. Sitting next to her would be too hard. “There’s something different about you, Al. I can’t pinpoint it yet, but there’s definitely something.”

  Bonnie comes to take our order and she’s wearing a smile as she looks back and forth between Ally and me. “Well lo
oky here, if it ain’t the perfect couple back together,” she says.

  Ally reaches across the table and takes my hand as she looks up at the red-headed waitress. “Not like that we’re not. But nothing can ever break us apart, completely. Isn’t that right, Kyle?”

  Intertwining our fingers, I smile at her. “Guess not.”

  Bonnie looks confused and I have to say I am too. “Okay then, what can I get you guys?”

  “The usual will be fine,” Alyssa says, then smiles a little. “And bring Kyle a beer. He’ll need to take the edge off. It won’t be easy on him once Laura joins us.”

  “Sure thing, Ally,” Bonnie says then leaves the table.

  My jaw drops. “How the hell did you get her to do that?”

  Ally giggles and leans in to whisper. “Eden and I came here a few days ago. She was all flirty with him and offered him one, even though he told her he was only eighteen, but she said she wouldn’t tell.”

  “So, Prince Valiant drinks beer?”

  “No! He turned it down of course. You know if you can put all the jealousy behind you, we can all be friends. It would mean a lot to me if you could,” she says as she wiggles her fingers, which are tangled with mine.

  Can I really do that? I’m fine with her now, but to see her with him, I just don’t know.

  “I’m not over you,” I say as I lean in, our faces so close we could kiss. The sweet smell of citrus and flowers wells up around her. “Is that a new perfume I smell?”

  Ally pulls back a little. “I would love to have my cake and eat it too, but I can’t, nor can you.”

  “Rhyming now, Al?”

  “I guess. I know you want to kiss me, but those days are over. We need to make a new and very different relationship,” she says as she sits back, unjoining our hands. “I suppose the physical contact needs to stop as well, since it gives you a problem.”

  Problem? It’s no problem. I love it.

  “So do I,” she mumbles.

  “What did you say, Al?” I ask, because I’ve just realized she has commented on several of my thoughts. We were close, but never so close we could finish each other’s sentences or know what the other was thinking.

  She averts her eyes as the waitress comes back with her chocolate shake and my beer.