Filthy Commitments: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  William looked embarrassed and glanced at Jules. Jess looked between the two of them, her heart sinking. What now?

  ‘Jessica, Julien has informed me that he wishes to continue funding your projects indefinitely. In fact, the trust board had indicated that this is the only way they will agree to disperse the money. They feel that if you were given such a large amount, that, due to the history of mental illness in your family lineage, that you could be a danger to yourself. Drugs. Alcohol. Jules has informed me of your… episodes.’

  Jess was speechless. More than that, she was sure she was having a nightmare. ‘What episodes? What the hell, Jules?’

  Her step-brother put his hands on her shoulders. A warning. ‘You know how you can get, Jessica. It’s just better this way.’

  She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘Are you insane? That money is legally mine…’

  ‘If –‘ Jules smiled widely, ‘you remain under the conservatorship of the Trust. Father was very clear. After your mother’s suicide, he made sure that if you were to suffer a breakdown like her, then you would be cared for.’

  He had her. With a few simple lies to the police all those years ago, her ‘hysteria’ was on record and if she tried to run, everything she cared about would be gone. The art department would close, a women’s shelter…

  Jess felt if she would scream. She stood, unsteadily. ‘I need to use the bathroom.’

  In the restroom, she sank to the floor, dragging deep breaths into her lungs. She would never be free of him. He owned her. Jess muffled the sobs that forced themselves out of her throat.

  She had to get out of here. Too late, she realised she had left her cell phone in her bag in the drawing room.

  She clambered to her feet. She would ask William to drop her home but when she got back to the drawing room, Jules was alone. He smiled without warmth, offering her a glass of scotch. She shook her head.

  ‘William had to leave suddenly,’ Jules explained and Jess knew he had asked the older man to go so they could be alone.

  There was a long silence then Jules smirked. ‘So it just leaves us, Jessica.’ His meaning was revolting clear and Jess lost her temper.

  ‘There is no ‘us’ Jules!’ Anger rippled through her, overwhelming the fear. ‘Why don’t you get that? Stop trying to tell me what to do with my life.’

  She got up but he was beside her immediately, gripping her arms and pulling him to her. ‘Fucking ungrateful little whore.’

  She wrenched her arm from his grip. ‘I’m sick of people trying to tell me what they think I should do with my life, especially you.’

  ‘If I was Theo Storm, it would be a different story. You let him climb all over that beautiful body of yours, fuck you senseless. Do you think I can’t see it on you? Smell him on you?’ Jules’s voice was bitter but underneath that there was something else, something that made her blood pump. A menace. She turned to face him, wary now.

  ‘I love him. He loves me. He knows me, Jules, he wants to know me. He doesn’t just take and take. We’re not even blood, me and you. Who do you think you are?’

  Jules’s eyes narrowed and he stepped towards her. ‘I’m your family, Jessica. Your only family. Don’t you have any loyalty?’

  ‘Loyalty to whom?’ Jess laughed without humour. ‘You? The man who molested me constantly before I was able to get away? When I was a child? The man who continues to threaten and control my life.’

  Jules put his head on the side, a small smile playing around his mouth. ‘Did I threaten you, Jess? Or was it just your imagination? Or your desire?’

  Jess sighed. ‘I’m not playing these games anymore, Jules. I’m tired.’

  ‘I’m the only family you have now, Jessica.’

  Jess’s chin lifted. ‘It doesn’t give you the right to lay claim to me. Let me just go home, Jules. Please. I have to get back.’

  ‘What if I won’t?’

  Her gaze was cold. ‘Won’t what?’

  ‘Let you go home.’ The terror came screeching back. His smile was humourless, his eyes fixed on hers. Jess’s hands flexed, she took a deep breath, trying to stop the fear from overwhelming her. In its place was a fire, something burning inside of her, something that overpowered everything else. Anger. Suddenly, she wanted to goad him, pick a fight. Adrenaline surge through her, she could taste metal in her mouth. Reckless. She ignored that thought and returned his cold smile.

  ‘What do you imagine will happen if you don’t? What do you have planned, Jules? More knife games? More threats?’ She got into his face, ignoring the fear that spiked in her gut. ‘More rape?’ Her voice was a whisper but she hissed the word at him.

  He moved too quickly then, slamming her back against the wall. She yelped in pain and he covered her mouth with his hand. ‘If you like, Jessica,’ he hissed, his mouth an inch from her face. He tugged up her skirt and desperate, she struggled with him. She managed to drive her knee into his groin and as hr groaned, she darted away. He grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the ground, spread-eagling himself over her.

  The knife in his hand seemed to come from nowhere. Jess felt him press the tip against the thin cotton of her dress and for once, she was furious rather than scared. She looked him straight in the eye, a grim smile on her face.

  ‘Do it,’ she said, challenging him, ‘Kill me. Run me through. Stab me to death. I’d rather that a million times over than your revolting prick inside me ever again.’

  The pressure increased and she felt the nick of steel in her skin. Jules was breathing heavily, his eyes crazed, sweat pouring down his contorted face. Time stopped for a long moment then with a roar, Jules cast the knife aside and started to push her dress up past her hips, tugging at her panties. Jess screamed – no, no, no, no – but Jules was unrelenting.

  Then someone else screamed. Jules stopped and Jess, sobbing, pushed him away and clambered over to the shell-shocked, deathly pale Camilla, who stood in the doorway. The older woman enveloped Jess in her arms, staring at Jules as if he was the devil.

  ‘You will never, ever, touch her again or I’ll go to the police, I swear to God, I will.’

  Jules wiped his mouth, smirking. ‘Get out. Take that whore with you and get out.’

  Camilla raised herself up to her full height and stared him down. ‘Your father would be ashamed of you, boy.’

  Jess was astonished to see Jules’s armour crack a little at the housekeeper’s words and the little boy beneath show in his eyes. Camilla had been with the family since before Jules had been born and her words carried weight. Jules turned away from them and Camilla half carried Jess out of the room.

  Theo re-dialled her number again. ‘Pick up Jess. Pick up, please.’ He half expected the same voicemail message he’d gotten the previous seven times but when it was picked up and a strange voice greeted him, his heart seized. The woman sounded older, kind but tired.

  ‘Jess’s fine, she’s okay but…hang on…’ There was a rustling then his heart leapt as Jess spoke.

  ‘Hello my love, I’m fine. Just the…usual crap. I’m getting a cab to yours now.’

  He suddenly felt dumb.

  ‘Theo?’

  ‘I’m here, honey. Just get here as soon as you – scrub that, I’m coming to get you.’

  ‘No, no, please, Theo, the cab is already here. Honestly – ‘ and she lowered her voice, ‘I’m really fine. Just tired.’

  ‘Come home to me.’

  ‘I am. I’m on my way.’

  Jules kicked his way back into his bedroom, picked up the nearest object, a book, and threw it across the room, opened his mouth and screamed his frustration, a primal sound. The rage burned through him. Fucking bitch. He walked to the bathroom, stripping, leaving his clothes where they dropped and cranked the shower onto the coolest setting. He stood under the water, letting it prick his skin, his eyes wide and staring. It was coming, the end, he could feel it, it was time.

  Jules reached down and began to masturbate. He leaned his head against
the cold tile as he thought about the day. He’d been so close to killing her. When she’d called his bluff, he’d wanted to drive the knife into her again and again, feel the blessed, blessed relief, the sensation of her warm, viscous blood on his hands, the pain, the horror, the life in her eyes fading away, the feel of her last breath on his face. Jules came, shouting and grunting as he imagined Jessica’s life slipping away.

  Jess went into work the next day as if nothing had happened. Lying in Theo’s arms that night – their schedule of S&M put on hold for the night – she’d spent a sleepless night going over everything in her mind. She couldn’t allow Jules to continue to control her life this way. Theo had grilled her and she’d fudged the details, telling him about the ‘inheritance with conditions’ and he’d been suitably outraged.

  ‘I’ll fund your projects. We’ve been thinking about setting up a foundation just for this – you could run it.’

  She’d protested but the offer was so tempting, so full of love she’d promised she would consider it. It was a way out. An easy fix. But something didn’t sit right with her – bailed out by another rich man? It made her uneasy, even if she did trust Theo meant well.

  By the time she got to work, the exhaustion had caught up with her and she didn’t see the figure waiting in the corner of her office until it was too late. Jess suddenly looked around and gasped in shock.

  Jules said nothing but stalked across the room and ground his mouth onto hers. Jess squirmed away from him but his hand was tight around her throat, squeezing, squeezing hard and she began to gasp for air as Jules started to strangle her. His face was a red mask of hatred and lust.

  ‘You don’t get to go home to him again. This way, you’re mine forever.’

  Theo’s blood ran cold when he saw them and in a blur, he dragged Jules from Jess, throwing the smaller man across the room. He bent to pick up his stricken love, his heart thumping at the terrified expression on her lovely face but then Jules launched himself into them. Jess was thrown from his arms and Theo slammed into the wall. Jules was a feral whirlwind of rage, raining blows down on his. His fist caught Theo a glancing blow across the temple and he reeled, black spots crowding into his sight. He staggered back but then saw Jess behind Jules, coming at him with a heavy box file. She crashed it over Jules’s head but he turned and drove his fist into her stomach, making her double up. Adrenaline coursed through Theo then and he grabbed Jules, throwing him into the other room.

  ‘You’ll never ever fucking touch her again,’ he growled, following his quarry. Jules, clambering to his feet, sneering.

  ‘She belongs to me, Storm, she always has, she always will.’

  Theo charged at him and grabbed him throwing him across the room just as Jess, staggering and breathless, screamed ‘No!’

  Jules’s whole body slammed into and destroyed The Luna Soleil.

  Theo opened the door and stood aside to let her in. She moved slowly, almost catatonic, into his apartment. He locked the door behind them, double locked it. After Jules – after they – had destroyed the painting, he and Jess had stood frozen while Jules scrambled up and disappeared. The noise of the fight had brought others who got there in time to see Jules clambering from the wreckage of The Luna Soleil. Theo, in disbelief, had turned to see Jess, shell-shocked, staring at the remains of the priceless artwork. Her knees had given out and he caught her as she collapsed. Everything after that was a blur of police interviews, photographs. Gerry had been there, and the dean and after the police had finished, the dean took Jess into his office and shut the door. Theo and Gerry waited anxiously but when Jess came out, she said nothing, just gathered her things, kissed Gerry’s cheek and walked out, Theo following. In the car she had been silent, just stared out of the window but now she looked at him, and he saw the depth of her pain.

  ‘I resigned,’ she said softly. ‘There was nothing else to do. The

  Dean accepted it, he would’ve had to fire me anyway. This way, at least, I get to keep my dignity…except not really…’ and she started to sob. Theo took her in her arms, letting her cry herself out. He carried her to the bedroom and lay down beside her, stroking her face, kissing her tears away. As her tears shuddered to a stop, she fell into an uneasy sleep.

  Theo pulled the comforter over her and went into the living room. The dean answered the phone on the first ring. Theo apologised for the late hour.

  ‘I wanted to say, let me have the details of the owner and I’ll pay for the damage.’

  The dean was silent for a beat. ‘Mr Storm…. the painting was destroyed.’

  Theo cleared his throat. ‘I know. I’ll pay for it. Dean Roberts…he was trying to kill her. Something infinitely more precious than a painting would have been destroyed. What happened was the result of Gachet’s violent behaviour. Please don’t punish Jess – she was the victim here.’

  The dean sighed. ‘I do know that, Mr Storm. Look…. I can’t say what is going to happen except this will be big news. I don’t know how we can keep your name out of it.’

  ‘That’s fine, I don’t expect miracles but tell the truth. Don’t let them crucify Jess.’

  He ended the call and rubbed his hands over his face.

  ‘Thank you.’

  He looked up at the sound of her voice. She was standing in the doorway, barefoot, her hair tumbling down her back. Her beautiful face was drawn, her eyes tired but she had the sweetest smile on her face.

  He got up and went to her, sliding his arms around her, kissing her softly. ‘You don’t need to thank me for anything.’

  ‘You saved my life.’

  He stroked her face. ‘I love you. I’d never let anything happen to you.’ She leaned into his touch.

  He looked into her eyes and saw a lifetime of hurt and abuse and fear.

  ‘I want to take care of you – as long as you want me to.’ He kissed her again. ‘So I’m going to ask you this and I want you to think about seriously. Move in with me. Let me look after you. In exchange, you can look after me. A partnership, a forever thing. Live with me, Jessie…’

  Live With Me Part Four

  Jess pulled her clothes from her drawers and shoved them into her old and battered suitcase. She looked around her bedroom, with its now bare walls and stripped down queen-sized bed. A palpable sadness had settled in her chest but she knew now she couldn’t stay here. Jules was out of control and Theo had offered her safe harbor. She’d be a fool to turn that down.

  Theo poked his head into the bedroom and smiled at her. ‘That ready to go?’ He nodded at her suitcase.

  ‘I’ll be just a minute.’

  Theo came into the room then, took her shoulders and made her look at him. She knew what he was seeing; wounded eyes, black and purple marks on her neck, defeat. She moved to hold him, wanting to reassure him.

  She looked at Theo’s anxious face. ‘I’m okay.’ He smiled at her but she could see he wasn’t convinced. She let him go and he watched as she walked over to the suitcase and locking it.

  ‘Thanks for doing all this,’ she smiled at him. ‘I don’t know where I’d be without you. Probably dead.’ She tried to smile but regretted her words when she saw the pain in his face. ‘Sorry. It’s just everything is… I’m finding it difficult to believe any of this is real. At the same time…’ She touched her bruised throat and gave a short laugh.

  Theo stayed silent. Jess sighed.

  ‘Come on, baby. Let’s get out of here.’

  She moved into the living room, towards the door but, as she passed him, she stumbled a little. Theo saw her legs give way and caught her. She was shaking badly but dry-eyed as he held her.

  ‘Jesus, Jesus…’ she whispered. Theo buried his face in her hair but she pulled away and looked up at him.

  For a moment, she thought about the attack and a brief flash of fear cross her face. Theo saw it.

  He bent down and kissed her gently.

  ‘I won’t let him anywhere near you, don’t worry.’

  ‘It’s not ju
st me I’m worried about.’

  He frowned. Jess smiled at him but her eyes were serious.

  ‘He hates you, Theo, if he hurt you…’

  Theo turned his nose up. ‘He’s a coward, Jess. And a misogynist. He sees women as inferior, weaker, easily manipulated.’

  She nodded, her face somber. Theo smoothed her hair back from her face.

  ‘You okay?’

  She nodded but her face was tight and she suddenly pulled away from him, her face flushing a deep scarlet. Angry.

  ‘I’m mad, Theo. Just mad. Who the hell does that bastard think he is telling me who I can love, deciding whether I live or die? Asshole. Who the fuck gave him the right?’

  Her voice was rising with each word and her eyes were wild. She moved away from him, casting around for something, anything that would help her feel better. She gave a short laugh. She picked up a mug; a nondescript red coffee cup shoved into a cardboard box and showed it to Theo.

  ‘He drank from this.’ She hurled the cup at the wall, her face set in a grim smile as the ceramic smashed. She whirled around and scooped up a plate.

  ‘Call me a whore, motherfucker?’ And she flung the plate against the wall.

  ‘This is for every time he hurt me.’ Her hair flew around as she grabbed more and more plates and launched them at the wall.

  Theo sat, a smile spreading across his face as he watched her smash her way through an entire cupboard of crockery, yelling, cussing, screaming all her anger, her rage. Theo started to smile. By the time she had finished, out of breath, they were both laughing helplessly.

  ‘Feel better?’

  She grinned at him, tears of laughter in her eyes. ‘So much better.’