Forgive Me

by Susan Lewis

  What he had to say didn’t take long, partly because he spoke quickly, but also because he’d obviously rehearsed it. When he’d finished he put a small package on the desk and shoved his hands back into his jacket pockets.

  Dan regarded the package thoughtfully, taking in its meaning along with everything Archie had said. In the end, in spite of already knowing the answer, he asked, “Are you sure about this?”

  Archie nodded. “It’s how it’s got to be, know what I mean?”

  Not sure that he did know, Dan pointed to the empty chair and said, “Sit down, let’s talk about it some more.”

  Archie stepped back toward the door. “No point,” he said. “I just want you to pass those on, if you will.”

  “I will, but I don’t think this is the way to do it.”

  Archie merely shrugged. “No right way, no wrong way.” With the ghost of a smile he added, “Reckon it’s your way though.”

  Catching the humor, Dan arched an eyebrow and looked at the package again before returning his steady gaze to Archie. “What about your mother?” he asked soberly.

  Archie began jigging up and down nervously, impatiently, needing to be gone, but apparently not wanting to be rude. “She’s cool. She’s got me. That’s what matters to her.”

  Knowing that to be true, Dan got up and walked around the desk to try and look more closely into the lad’s evasive eyes. It was only possible for fleeting moments, not enough to reach him that way in an effort to make him open up further. He sighed inwardly, disappointed and frustrated. He could never be the father Archie needed, any more than Archie could be the son he desired, but there was a connection between them, a bond that was both important and meaningful. He knew Archie felt it too, that strange pull of emotion amid all the other conflicting feelings that came with the relationship they had.

  Archie suddenly thrust out a hand to shake. “I could say it’s been a blast,” he said gruffly.

  Dan continued to look at him, seeing only a shadow of the boy he’d first met so many months ago. Now, in spite of his restless, uneasy demeanor, he was a young man with a greater understanding of himself and the world around him, and a clear determination to do what he felt to be right. Though Dan might not agree with him over this, he decided not to argue. He simply drew him into an embrace, slapped his back a couple of times, and stood aside, freeing him to leave.

  Archie’s head dropped for a moment, then delivering a self-conscious fist bump, his kind of thank-you, he went.

  Dan waited for the sound of footsteps to recede before taking out his phone to message Claudia, saying only that he was running late. Once it was sent he slipped the package into the inside pocket of his overcoat and followed Archie out into the night.

  “SORRY WE’RE EARLY,” Andee called out as she and Graeme came into the coach house kitchen carrying gift bags of wine and a flamboyant poinsettia, “but I have some news you’ll want to hear before the others arrive.”

  Claudia and Marcy paused in the arrangement of canapés on festive platters, while Henry glanced up from tipping nuts and olives into bowls.

  “Who else is here?” Andee asked, glancing out of the French doors to where much setting up of lights and sounds seemed to be underway.

  “Jasmine, Abby, and Richie,” Claudia replied, trying to gauge whether this was going to be good or bad news, and struggling not to come down on the wrong side. A quick glance at her mother told her that Marcy was also bracing herself, presumably with no idea of why either, while Henry seemed oblivious to the tension as he filled two tumblers with a highly aromatic glühwein, ready to pass to Andee and Graeme as soon as their coats were hung.

  “OK, this is the best mulled wine ever,” Andee swooned as she took a generous sip. “Did you make it?”

  “Of course,” Henry assured her with a wicked grin. “So, come on, don’t keep us in suspense. What’s the news?”

  “Dan should be here,” Andee insisted. “Where is he?”

  “Running late,” Claudia replied, “but he should be here soon.”

  “Well, he might know what I’m about to tell you anyway, so I’ll carry on without him. Just before we left the house I had a call from my old boss, DCI Gould?”

  Claudia nodded, remembering the name well, and feeling another flutter of unease.

  Andee smiled and raised her glass. “Apparently Marcus Huxley-Browne was arrested yesterday and charged with conspiracy to commit arson. This morning he was remanded in custody.”

  Claudia’s eyes widened with shock. This wasn’t what she’d expected to hear, not even close.

  Marcy said, “How? What happened?”

  “All Gould could tell me was that Uncle BJ was persuaded to name the lawyer who ‘commissioned’ the arson—probably via BJ’s gangland bosses, but no way was he going to give any of them up.”

  “In short,” Graeme put in, “Huxley-Browne’s brief shopped him, presumably in exchange for a shorter sentence. Who knows? The point is that pond life is once again off the streets and will almost certainly serve time for what happened here.” To Marcy he added gently, “For what happened to you.”

  Marcy’s eyes closed with a dizzying sense of relief as Claudia came to wrap her in her arms. It was taking a moment to connect with the fact that real justice was finally being served. They had no more to fear from Marcus, no need to try and persuade anyone that he’d been behind the fire; his lawyer—his crooked lawyer—had done it for them.

  It wasn’t until Henry put a drink into her hand and an arm around her shoulders that Claudia realized she was shaking. She looked at her mother again and wanted to weep for what had been done to her. No amount of justice was ever going to make up for it, nothing in the world could erase those scars from her face or change the fact that they were there because her daughter had married a monster.

  As though reading her mind, Marcy planted her hands on her shoulders and regarded her fiercely. “We can move on now,” she told her, “so let’s forget about him. We don’t want him at this party, and we especially don’t want him in our heads.”

  She was right. Tonight, they were going to have fun—really crazy fun—and no way would Marcus Huxley-Browne spoil it. In fact, his arrest would make it an even bigger celebration, but for now only those here in this kitchen would know it.

  A WHILE LATER Claudia was checking the clock as she and Richie helped Leanne and Wilkie off with their coats. Where was Dan? “OK, first things first,” she declared as Tom came in with a hamper of seasonal goodies. “I know we promised beef Wellington for Richie’s birthday, but I’m afraid it was beyond us, so we’re having a barbecue instead.”

  “It’s cool,” Richie assured them. “Actually, watching Dad and Leanne ripping out ‘Killer Queen’ is what tonight’s going to be all about for me.”

  “It’s such a great idea, us all getting together like this,” Leanne declared, hugging Claudia and blowing a kiss to Andee. “Tom and I have been practicing our number.”

  “Who are you performing with?” Andee asked Claudia as she helped pass around the mulled wine.

  “Wilkie,” Claudia replied, and slipped an arm around Leanne’s mother’s shoulders.

  “We’ve had no time to rehearse,” Wilkie informed Andee, “but I can tell you this, we’re going to smash it.”

  Laughing, Claudia said, “Have you heard that Archie’s been booked for a gig at the Mermaid on New Year’s Eve?”

  Everyone’s eyes rounded, showing how impressed they were.

  “He’s been rehearsing with Jasmine since he got the call,” Claudia continued, “so it’s likely she’ll play too. I’ve booked a table for us all, but don’t worry if you can’t make it . . .”

  Speaking from the door Dan said, “Sorry I’m late. Has anyone even noticed?”

  Laughing, Claudia went to help him out of his coat. “Where are Archie and Maria?” she asked. “I thought you were bringing them.”

  Taking the mulled wine Graeme was passing, Dan murmured, “They’re not coming
.”

  Overhearing, Marcy said, “What do you mean, they’re not coming?”

  “He came by the office half an hour ago,” Dan explained, “and asked me to give you this.” Removing the package from his pocket, he handed it to Claudia with a brief shrug, letting her know that this was none of his doing.

  Aware of the others watching her, Claudia opened the package and took out two white envelopes. One was addressed to her, the other to Marcy, and there was no mistaking the handwriting they’d come to know so well.

  “What’s going on?” Jasmine asked as she and Abby came in from the garden. “Why’s everyone so quiet?”

  Slipping an arm around her shoulders, Marcy said to Claudia, “Why don’t you read them out for us?”

  Claudia glanced at Dan. “Do you know what they’re about?” she asked.

  “More or less.”

  Since he didn’t caution her to stop, she slipped the single page from her own envelope and began reading aloud.

  Dear Claudia,

  I thought about coming to see you and telling you in person what I have to say, but I decided it would make us both feel too awkward so I’m doing it this way, or Dan’s way, instead.

  First up is the thanks I owe you for just about everything from not stopping your mum taking part in the RJ process right through to giving her your support when she stood up for me in court. I know you couldn’t have wanted her to do it, you might even have tried to talk her out of it, but I guess she’s her own person and that’s why she means so much to you. (She means a lot to me too, by the way, but I get you’re probably not interested in that.)

  Next I want to say that I don’t blame you for not wanting me around; I’d feel the same if I was you and someone had hurt my mother the way I hurt yours. Tbh, I wouldn’t even let them in through the door, but I wouldn’t have to because they wouldn’t still be alive.

  Lucky for me that you’re nothing like me.

  Anyways, it’s really good of you to try and hide how you feel about me, but I don’t think you should have to do that anymore. I totally get why you’re not comfortable about me coming to see Marcy sometimes, or mixing with Jas and her friends. It’s time I got out of your hair, made myself history, so that’s what I’m going to do.

  Thanks again for everything. You, Marcy, and Dan have put me and ma on a road we’d never have found without you.

  All the best,

  Archie

  PS: I hope your b****** husband gets his comeuppance.

  PPS: Please tell Jas I’m sorry to let her down for New Year’s Eve, but I know she’ll understand.

  Claudia had barely finished reading when Jasmine said, “No I don’t. I don’t understand at all.”

  Marcy moved to take the other letter from Claudia, but before she could open it Claudia said determinedly, “No, it’s not going to happen like this.”

  Marcy looked at her in puzzlement.

  To Dan, Claudia said, “Will you drive me there?”

  As he went for their coats Claudia told her mother, “Don’t read it yet. Promise me—”

  “OK, OK,” Marcy interrupted, “just make sure . . .”

  “Leave it to me,” Claudia said, and putting on her coat she followed Dan out to the car.

  Thirty minutes later Claudia and Dan were outside the front door of Maria and Archie’s second-floor flat on the other side of town. As they waited for a response to Dan’s knock, Claudia looked around the brutal concrete walls graffitied with mostly indecipherable hieroglyphs and lit by sluggish overhead lamps along with a few hardworking Christmas stars. There was little sign of anyone; a couple they’d passed on the stairs had muttered a polite “Merry Christmas” allowing her to believe that as insalubrious as this place might be, it was a whole world away from the estate Maria and Archie had come from.

  “Someone’s coming,” Dan muttered, and a moment later the door opened to the width of a security chain, and Archie peered out at them.

  Seeing his surprise, Claudia said, “Do you think we could . . . ?”

  Maria shouted, “If iss carol singers, tell ’em sing ‘’Way in a Manger.’”

  With a smile Dan waited for Archie to release the chain, and gestured for Claudia to go ahead of him.

  The spicy scent of a Christmas diffuser mingled with fresh paint welcomed them as Claudia followed Archie along the newly carpeted hall to the sitting room. Maria was curled up on a sofa next to a faux log fire; the instant she saw Claudia her mouth fell open.

  “Not carol singers,” Dan joked cheerily.

  Maria said, “Wha’ . . . I don’ . . . Ochie . . . ?”

  “It’s all right, Ma,” he told her, “there’s . . .”

  “He din do nothing wrong,” she declared.

  “No, he didn’t,” Claudia agreed, “but there’s something we need to put right.” Turning to Archie, she looked him in the eyes as she said, “Dan gave me your letter and you’re right, I have found it difficult accepting you in our lives. To be honest it still feels strange, but I need to tell you about something that happened yesterday because I’m already certain it’s making a difference. Marcus was arrested, and I realized it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t told us about your uncle, or if you hadn’t been at the coach house when he turned up that day. He connected himself to you in a way none of us could have foreseen or planned.”

  Archie’s hesitant eyes held to hers as he said, “I heard they’d taken him in. It should have happened sooner . . . I’m guessing you haven’t read the letter I wrote to Marcy.”

  “Not yet,” she replied. “It’s why I’m here. I’d like you to come with us because whatever you’ve written to her I think you should tell her yourself, face-to-face. You’ve got the courage for that, Archie, I know you have.”

  He didn’t protest again, nor did he say he’d come.

  “I think she deserves that much, don’t you?” Claudia said gently.

  BY THE TIME they got back to the coach house everyone was outside and it seemed they’d already eaten, thanks to Graeme and Tom manning the barbecue. The music was far too loud, but the instant Archie and Maria appeared in the doorway a cheer went up to drown all else.

  “You came!” Jasmine cried, flinging her arms around them both. “I knew you would. Have you eaten? Don’t worry if not, there’s loads.”

  “I need your help with the sound system,” Richie declared, coming to shake Archie’s hand. “And are you still partnering me tonight?” he asked Maria.

  Maria’s eyes sparkled. “Coun’ me in,” she cried, taking a glass of glühwein from Andee.

  “Who else is strutting their stuff?” Graeme wanted to know as he pushed a beer into Archie’s hand.

  “We all are,” Claudia informed him, amazed by the way this was happening so seamlessly. It was as if there had been no interruption to the evening at all and she was losing a proper sense of herself. She saw her mother and Archie exchange a glance and they seemed, for a fleeting moment, to be communicating apart from the fray. They did share something, Claudia was aware of that, and though she didn’t understand it she realized there was no point continuing to fight it.

  “When do you want to do it?” she heard Dan asking Archie.

  Archie looked at Claudia.

  Understanding what they were talking about, Claudia was about to suggest they wait awhile when Archie said, “I guess now’s as good a time as any.”

  Surprised and impressed, she accepted the wine Andee was passing her and went to retrieve the letter from her mother. Then, signaling to Jasmine, she explained what was about to happen.

  Jasmine’s eyes rounded with awe. “That is totally amazing,” she murmured, glancing at Archie and giving him a smile. “Do you want me to do anything?”

  “Just call everyone to attention and let him take it from there.”

  Minutes later Claudia was seated next to her mother at the table, with Dan on the other side of her while the others filled the rest of the places and Maria perched on the edge of the deck
, proud gaze fixed on her only child. The chilly night was warmed by the overhead heaters and lit by the garlands of festive lights that Claudia and Marcy had strung all over the garden.

  “OK,” Archie began, speaking into the mic, and grimacing as his voice was carried off by feedback. Adjusting, he continued, “Jas has just told you what I’m going to do, so . . . Here goes, my last letter to Marcy . . . And I promise this time there’s been no help from Dan . . .”

  After a murmur of laughter, he began.

  Dear Marcy,

  You have taught me more than any college or university ever could—and definitely way more than any prison could. In different ways you and Dan have shown me how it’s possible for people to come into our lives for the worst reasons and somehow make it better. I know you would definitely wish I’d never come into yours and no one could blame you for that, definitely not me. Tbh, I wish I hadn’t come into it, because it would be a lot better if I hadn’t, I mean for you, not me. Trouble is, we can’t turn back the clock, and what’s totally surreal to me is that no one seems to understand that better than you.

  The other day you told me something in the way only you could, you said that if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have known what truly special friends you have for the way they all stood by you, Claudia, and Jasmine during the terrible times you’ve been through. I don’t know how you can give me the credit for that, but I do know that anyone who has YOU as a friend is the one who’s blessed.

  More than six weeks have gone by since the day you changed everything for me in court, and during that time you’ve carried on being kind to me and Ma in a way that one of us—me—could never deserve. You’ve set me on the road to a new career in landscaping by asking your friends to take me on, you’ve even continued to invite me into your home. I don’t think there are many people who could do that; in my world no one ever would.

  I heard today that your scum of a son-in-law has been arrested, and I want you to know that I’ve already told the police that I’ll stand up in court to testify to make sure you don’t have to. They said they’ll get in touch with me when they know more. Whether anyone will come after me for it, I’ve got no idea, but I can’t see he has any influence now, so I’m not bothered.