Fantasy (Lipstick)

by Hobbs, Allison

  “We did. He told me that he hasn’t cheated on me, and I have to believe him. I know that he loves me, and I know it ain’t a bitch out there that can compare to me. I dropped it and I promised him that I wouldn’t bring it up again. Then he tore my back out, if you know what I mean!” She began laughing at her insinuation of good sex.

  I sat there close to vomiting. I knew that I was about to lose it, so I quickly excused myself from the table to go to the restroom.

  I wanted to scream as I stood in front of the mirror. I couldn’t sit and listen to stories of their happiness. As bad as it may sound, I was happy when they weren’t, that’s when I could spend more time with Daron. After I got myself together I returned to the table, after about ten minutes, with a blank stare on my face. I was hoping that no one would notice, since none of them even came and checked to see if I was okay after being away from the table so long.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Lana asked, noticing my change in appearance.

  “I don’t feel well all of a sudden. I think I’m going to head home and lie down,” I said after grabbing my bag.

  “Okay, we’ll call later. Let us know how you feel,” Cindy spoke.

  “I will.” I made my way out of the restaurant. I was so disgusted, I couldn’t sit at the table with her any longer. I had been friends with Lana for over ten years, but my feelings for Daron practically changed the way I felt about her completely. There was a time when she was my only friend, and though I never told her about Daron’s and my past before they dealt, I still hated the fact that she was with him. That fact made it hard for me to be the great friend that I once was. I know that most people would say that I was wrong, but I didn’t give a damn.

  I was getting more distressed the longer I sat and thought about it. I dialed his cell phone, and once he answered it I began to yell immediately.

  “How the hell are you going to fuck me and go home to fuck her? What kind of shit is that?” I yelled into the receiver.

  “Did you forget that she’s my wife?” What the fuck is your problem?”

  “My problem is the bullshit games that you continue to play. You told me that you were on the brink of a divorce, and then she comes in the restaurant smiling and shit saying you tore her back out!”

  “I said on the brink of divorce but we are still married.”

  “Fuck this, Daron! I thought things were going to change. I thought you wanted me to be happy?”

  “I do want you to be happy, but it seems like the only time you are happy is when she’s not, and that’s the fucked-up part!”

  “I’m done with this conversation Daron—and you. Goodbye!” I said before ending the call. He called me and left at least five messages. Once I made it home I spread out across the bed and began to cry. How did I get myself into this? I wondered what was going on with me mentally, why I continued to fall in love with him. I wanted to be in a real relationship for once in my life, but the drug dealers and other big-timers I was attracted to only did me dirty each time. I was tired of being number two. I thought I would be satisfied with the jump-off title, but I was ready to be wifey. I thought the more time I spent with Daron the more he would love me and the more likely he would be to leave Lana's ass alone.

  I lay on the bed for about an hour soaking in my own misery when I heard the doorbell ring. I wasn't quick to answer it, since I figured it was the girls checking to see how I was doing. I was definitely not in the mood for a get-well session. After about five rings, I was annoyed so I got up to go answer it.

  I peeked out of the peephole and noticed Daron standing there impatiently. What the hell did he want? I thought to myself. I contemplated leaving him standing there. I knew how persistent he was and I figured he wouldn't leave me alone no matter what, and it would be tough to get rid of him.

  "What the hell do you want?" I asked through a small crack in the door.

  "I want to talk. Open the door, Kima," Daron said, trying to push the door open.

  "I don't have anything to say, and I don't feel really well. So I need to get back to bed," I said attempting to close the small space between us.

  "Look, just give me five minutes. That's all I'm asking for. I need to explain some things to you."

  I thought about turning him away, but my feelings for him were overriding my anger. As he stood there looking pitiful, I warmed up inside because my heart still yearned for his attention. "Five minutes, that’s it!" I spoke sternly before loosening my grip on the door to allow him to enter the house.

  "Look, I didn't mean to shut you out earlier, but I was a little upset that you called me yelling. I know that I was wrong to lie to you about her. It's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be to walk away from her. I know that I should have been honest with you and told you that things between me and her were going okay, but I'm sorry if I led you on."

  "So what does that mean? You don't want to deal with me anymore? After I have stayed around two years, waiting for you to leave her, all you can say is sorry? I gave up too much."

  "I didn't say that I didn't want you; I'm saying . . . I'm confused. I care for you and her; it's hard for me to make a choice."

  "I can't wait around forever, Daron. I either need you to be with me or leave me alone, so that I can move on with my life."

  "I can't do that." He began moving closer to me.

  I pushed him away trying to avoid any physical contact. I was hurting, and I was still angry about the way he had dragged me along. "Stop it, Daron. I know what you are trying to do and it's not going to work." I backed away as I usually did when I was angry with him.

  "I need you, Kima," He said, wrapping his arms around my waist and beginning to caress the small of my back. I tried to stand firm and push him away, but I needed him as much as he claimed he needed me. I felt like the biggest sucker for falling for his tricks, but he had me right where he wanted me. He softly placed a kiss on my lips that sent chills through my body. He pushed his tongue through my lips and began to massage mine with his. It was as if all of my anger was being completely drained from my body and re-filled with love.

  My body was warm; my feet were tingling. I quickly forgot about Mrs. Lana. He was my man again, if only for a short time to make love to me. As his hands made their way to my panties, I became excited, anticipating him touching my wetness.

  "I'll never stop wanting you," he whispered in my ear, causing me to exude an overload of lubrication.

  After meeting my clit with his soft touch, I moved my hips to initiate a circular motion. This man was all I could ever ask for—minus the wife. I wanted to feel him inside of me, and his fingers caressing me were causing me to hunger for more.

  "I'm going to make you mine I promise," he whispered before lifting me up to place me on the sofa. I unzipped his pants as he continued to finger-fuck me with ease. I was moaning loudly and he was growing harder with each sound I made. I pulled his manhood out and stroked it with a tight grip, not ever wanting to let it go. I rubbed his length and begged him to get inside of me.

  "You want me to fuck you?" he asked in a low tone.

  "Yes!" I moaned.

  "I don't believe you. Tell me again." He was moving his fingers in and out a little faster.

  "Yes!" I moaned, a second time.

  "I still don't believe you. I need you to make me believe it," he instructed.

  "Fuck me please, Daron. I need this dick inside of me!" I moaned loudly.

  With that he freed his fingers from my extremely juicy tunnel and rammed his stick inside of me. I felt ecstasy as he worked in slow, steady strokes. He continued his stroke while sticking his tongue in and out of my mouth. I yelled as I climaxed, and he picked up speed when he noticed my body starting to tremble. He soon turned me over and smacked my ass a few times. I loved it. When he asked me whose pussy it was I didn't hesitate to scream his name. It did belong to him, and he knew that no matter what, I would always return to him.

  He then removed his length from my wetness
and quickly shoved it into my ass. I was used to this, since I had learned early on that this was one way to satisfy him. He loved a woman that could take it in the ass and that was one thing that Lana had yet to tolerate. He always called me his little soldier because, even from the first time he tried it, I always acted as if I enjoyed it. He moved in and out of my ass as I stuck two fingers inside of my tunnel to initiate another orgasm.

  I was nearing another climax when the telephone started to ring. I was focused on one more nut, so I could have cared less about who was calling. Once the answering machine picked up I tried even harder to ignore it, but Daron seemed to be slowing down; he wanted to know who was calling.

  "Hi. You've reached Kima. I'm sorry I'm not able to answer your call right now, but leave me a message and I'll holla back at you ASAP." Beep . . .

  "Hey, Kima, it’s Lana. I was just calling to check up on you. Hopefully you are feeling a little better than you did earlier. I would assume that I'm the only one that called, since the rest of them are tore up drunk!" She began laughing. "I hope you didn't cut out on us to go fuck some nigga. Sike, just joking. I'm on my way home now to see my baby for round two. Call me tomorrow, hooker. Bye!" Beep.

  Daron stopped and sat down on the sofa before placing his face in his hands. "What the fuck am I doing?" He yelled. "Look, Kima, I have to go. I'll call you later," he said, fumbling to gather his clothing.

  "What?" I asked, both confused and annoyed. I knew I shouldn't have let his ass in! "Where are you going?" I asked as I stood up from the sofa.

  "I have to get home before she does," he said, zipping his pants.

  "Why? Tell her you are working. You can't leave me hanging like that Daron," I said grabbing hold of his hand trying to get him to refocus on me.

  "I'm sorry, Kima, but I have to go. I'll give you a call tomorrow, I promise."

  I released my grip as he turned to walk out of the door. I wanted to beg him to stay, but I knew it would only make things worse. He couldn't live without me, but it was becoming clear that he couldn't live without her, either.

  * * * I tried to keep my distance from Daron following the incident at my house. When he walked out of the door that evening I knew he wouldn't break his neck to call me and I definitely wasn't going to break mine to call him. I took a week off work to relax, since working a nine-to-five was something that I still hadn't gotten used to. Since I had put all the men I dealt with in the past on hold for Daron, my cash flow had slowed down, forcing me to get a job. I hated work. I was the type of chick that would go shopping and get pampered everyday with money that was given to me by various hustlers.

  I went down to the salon to see if my girl, Gina, could fit me in. The shop was packed and I walked through to her station that was located in the back.

  "Hey, girl. I see you’re feeling better. Ain't heard from you all week; what, you got a new man or something?" she said briefly hugging me.

  "No. I was just relaxing, that's all." I lied. The real reason I hadn't called was to avoid hearing about Lana and Daron.

  "So what's up? What brings you down here?" she asked.

  "I need my hair done; can't you tell? I wanted to know if you could hook me up. We are still going to the club tonight, right?"

  "I didn't think you were going since you've been M.I.A," she said placing her hand on her hip.

  "No, I'm going. So, do you think you can fit me in?"

  "Yeah just come back around 3:30."

  "Okay, cool," I replied before leaving the shop. I walked the block back to the parking lot and noticed Daron on the corner engrossed in a conversation with some ghetto-ass young girl trying extremely hard to stick her ass out for him to notice. I stood across the street and stared, getting angrier by the second. This nigga has the nerve to be talking to another bitch when he walked out on me for his wife. Once he realized I was standing there, he wrapped up the conversation and began crossing the street in my direction.

  "Oh, you can't talk to me but you can talk to that ghetto bitch? What the fuck is all of that about Daron?" I said pointing my fingers in his direction.

  "I wasn't talking to her about shit; she was asking me about the club." He said.

  "Whatever Daron. She's trying to throw you the pussy, and you'll probably take it!"

  "Yo, what's up with you, Kima?"

  "You keep fucking around with me and I'm tired. You run out on me practically in mid-stroke after you hear Lana's voice. You felt all guilty and shit then, and now you're standing on the corner, out in the open, talking to a bitch like she won't find out about it," I yelled in frustration.

  "I already told you what I was talking to her about. Besides that, I need you to stop tripping out here in the street, because someone will be quick to tell her that shit, too."

  "You know what, Daron? I'm not going to stand here and tell you about how I feel about you or anything else for that matter. I'm moving the fuck on so you can kiss my black ass goodbye!" I yelled before turning to walk away.

  "Kima!"

  I ignored him and continued to walk to my car. Fuck this game I was through playing it. I was going to find me a man that was willing to show me the attention I needed. This bullshit with him was getting old, and all the money in the world wasn't enough to keep me hanging on any longer. I returned to the shop at three, and Gina hooked my hair up before I went home to get ready for the night.

  * * * That night the line to get into the club was ridiculous. I was planning on shining tonight and going home with a baller. I wanted Daron to see that I was over him, and this was the perfect opportunity for me to do it. I walked into the club and greeted everyone while I made my way to V.I.P. I noticed Lana and the girls at the table in the back. I walked up to them unnoticed. "What's up, bitches? Didn't expect to see me, huh?" I said, smiling as I stood at the end of the table.

  "Hey, girl, I thought you had moved or something. Can't call anybody?" Lana said, smiling, before standing to hug me. "I know I've been pretty bad with that, but about tonight: let’s go get our party on!" I said before turning to go out to the dance floor.

  I grabbed man after man and shook my ass all over them. I had drunk at least four apple martinis and I was feeling toasty. I could feel Daron's eyes glued to me as I made my rounds, trying to find the nigga with the most money. I wasn't about to fuck with any average Joe. After about an hour of dancing, I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked toward the restroom and felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around annoyed; I hated for someone to approach me that way.

  "What!" I yelled. "What are you trying to do with all of the dancing and shit, make me jealous?"

  "Daron, please. I already told you I was done with you. I'm trying to snag me a man, since that's a title you're obviously not trying to fill," I yelled. "Don't forget your wife is in here, so I'm sure you wouldn't want her to walk up on us conversing."

  "Fuck that! I'm not going to sit here and watch you all up on these niggas and ignore it. That's just disrespectful."

  "You have some nerve to talk about someone being disrespectful. You are the one cheating on your wife!" I retorted.

  "Look, let's go into the office and talk, please," he said, grabbing me by the arm.

  "Daron, I came here to enjoy myself; I really don't have time for this right now."

  "Please I need to talk to you." He pleaded.

  "This is not the time or the place for this conversation. I told you we were through." I said as I noticed Tonya walking in the direction of the bathroom.

  "What’s going on? Are you okay?" she asked after noticing the looks on both of our faces. "I'm fine. This guy out on the dance floor pissed me off. I was just trying to let Daron know to keep an eye on him, because he was pretty drunk."

  "Well I'll handle that for you. If he gives you any more trouble let me know," Daron said before walking in the direction of his office. I stood there for a second, contemplating on whether or not I should follow him. But even if I wanted to, I would have to duck Tonya.

  "Girl
these guys are crazy when they get drunk. It should be limit on the amount of drinks they can buy," Tanya said, laughing.

  "Most definitely! Well, I'll see you when you get back out to the floor," I said, cutting the conversation short. I began walking away as I waited for her to go into the restroom. Once I heard the door open and close, I turned around and quickly made my way to Daron's office. I knocked on the door, and he opened it within seconds.

  "Thanks for coming to talk," he said as I entered the plush office.

  "So what is it you wanted to talk about?" I asked since I knew we didn't have much time to talk.

  "I'm ready to leave her." he began to speak and I began to tune him out, since I'd been hearing this same tune for the last two years. "I need someone like you in my corner; Lana can't be who I want her to be. I just need you to trust me. Do you trust me?" he asked while staring at me and stroking my hand.

  "Yes, I trust you," I said excitedly, since those were the words that I'd been longing to hear.

  "Kiss me," he said as he moved closer. I sucked in the smell of his cologne, and as I closed my eyes I imagined that we were somewhere else. I licked his lips. He began to fondle me. My mind was running in circles, since I wasn't sure if he was playing me again. I had fallen for his tricks over and over again. I relaxed as he backed me up against the desk that was located in the center of the office. He kneeled down and slowly raised my leg over his shoulder. He moved my panties to the side and buried his face down below. The swift movements of his tongue against my clit caused my body to shiver.

  I palmed the back of his head to create more pressure before I exploded. He licked his lips as he stood up from floor. He unzipped his pants and pulled his length through his boxer shorts signaling for me to go to work. I squatted just enough so that my mouth was at an even height with it. I grabbed a hold of it and slowly licked around the head to savor the taste of the pre-cum. A sigh escaped his lips as I allowed him to shove it into my mouth. I grabbed hold of his balls with my free hand and gently began to massage them at the same time. "You like that?" I quizzed before deep-throating him once more. "Come on and let me fuck you!" he instructed. I rose up from the squatting position and turned around facing the desk. I put one leg up on the chair and waited for him to enter from behind. He grabbed my waist and used it to aid him in pumping harder. I screamed for him to go faster, and he sped up and added more force. I heard a faint knock at the door but I didn't want to stop. I ignored it as I neared my next climax. The knock continued but we were both so wrapped up in the moment, it didn't matter what else was going on around us.