With a confident smirk, he stepped up to the mechanical beast and climbed on. Once he had a tight grip, he gave a nod to the guy with the controls and flashed me another cocky grin.
Less than ten minutes later we were exiting the bar, and Luke’s cocky grin had been wiped away. Arm in arm, Shae and I shared a laugh while Kellen gave him a consolatory pat on the back.
“I think I’ll take that drink now,” I gloated.
He gave an unamused shake of his head. “No way. That was bullshit and you know it.”
“Don’t be a sore loser, Luke.”
He scowled at me and when Shae laughed again, he scowled harder. “Sore loser? Come on, you cheated!”
“Cheated?” I couldn’t even feign outrage as another laugh slipped past my lips.
“Yes, cheated. You flirted with the guy and he took it easy on you.”
“A bet’s a bet, and you lost. I lasted longer than you.”
“Because you cheated! Come on man,” he looked to Kellen for backup. “Help me out here.”
Kellen simply gave him a sympathetic look. “You should have known better than to make a bet with a woman, man. They always cheat.”
“Fair enough,” Luke snorted and Shae and I shot dirty looks at both guys.
“What? You know you fight dirty,” Kellen responded, then he hooked Shae around the waist and dragged her to him. Holding her tight, he nuzzled her neck. “And I like it.”
“What time do we need to be at the Bluebird?” I glanced at the clock on my phone as we came to a stop at the corner.
“Six. We have just enough time to get back to the room to drop off our stuff and change if we want to,” Shae answered, slipping from Kellen’s arms, and tucking in at his side just as the red crosswalk warning light changed to white and pedestrians stepped out onto the street.
“Should we drive or Uber it over there?” Luke asked.
“I don’t know how easy it will be to find, or what parking is like,” Shae told him.
“We can probably ask someone at the hostel,” Kellen suggested.
It was a short walk back, laden with our shopping bags from every place we’d stopped. The room was empty when we unlocked the door, our Swiss friends out for the evening. I dumped my stuff on my suitcase, while everyone else unloaded as well.
“If you girls want to change, we’ll go down to the desk and ask about the Bluebird,” Kellen offered. It was the one place in Nashville left on our must stop list, the iconic café famous for the songwriters that played there. We were going to be there for tonight’s In the Round session.
When the guys left the room, I stripped out of my simple ribbed white tank and started rifling through my suitcase for another top to pair with my denim skirt and boots. Shae was undressing as well and pulling things out of her shopping bags.
I settled on a cream colored, sheer, crocheted lace tee with a silky tank lining underneath. Going to check my hair and makeup in the bathroom mirror, I paused when I caught a glimpse of something that had spilled out of one of Shae’s bags.
“What’s that?”
Having just pulled on one of the new shirts she bought, she glanced down at the bed and right at the item I was pointing at. She picked it up gently, almost as if it were made of crystal and not cotton.
“Who’s having a baby?” I asked her, eyeing the onesie she held. I’d seen it in the Johnny Cash Museum. It was black and white striped, like an old prison uniform, and on the front it said Johnny Cash Folsom Prison and had a fake inmate ID number.
“It’s– I …”
“Oh my gosh,” I grabbed her arm. “Are you pregnant?” Man, they sure worked fast. It wasn’t that long ago she was swearing she hated the guy. We all knew it was bullshit, even me and I’d only known her a few days, but still.
“No,” she shook her head. “I’m not, but I saw it, and … and I don’t know. I didn’t plan to buy it, but Kellen saw me looking at it. He said we should get it for someday. He said one day we’d need it.” Shae’s voice was almost a whisper, and her eyes dropped reverently to the little scrap of fabric in her hands. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she must be thinking or feeling. My own little pang went through me and I had to look away from it.
“Well, shit,” I breathed, and her gaze bounced back to mine. “That’s big.” For Kellen to say something like that to her. Geez, no wonder she’d been quiet when we left the museum.
“Yeah.”
“So, I guess things with you two are pretty good. I mean, I can see that they are, but this is just so … well …”
“It is. I love him. I always have, but this is different, because I’m not just talking about the guy I fell for in high school. These past two months, I’ve fallen in love again, and if it’s possible, I love the man he is now even more than I loved him back then. Our past will always be special, and a huge part of us, but it’s right now that matters. And our future.” She looked again at the onesie in her hand before placing it back on the bed. “That’s everything. And that’s what these past two months have been about; figuring out if we have one together after everything.”
“I think you have your answer.”
“Yeah, I do. Maybe you should be finding out the same thing on this trip.”
Whatever smile I’d been wearing, vanished. “Shae, please don’t.” I turned my back to her, intending to slip inside the bathroom.
“Just answer me one thing and I’ll let it go.”
I stopped and looked back at her over my shoulder.
“What would be so bad about falling for Luke?”
An unfamiliar ache clamped down on my chest. “We’re not you and Kellen, Shae.”
“I know, but I just want to understand. The way I see it, you two already love each other about as much as two people can, and yet …”
“Yet what?”
“I’ve also noticed you both hold something back.”
“Or maybe the something just isn’t there,” I said stubbornly.
“Oh, I think it’s there and I think that’s what you’re afraid of.”
A dry laugh escaped. “Six years we’ve been friends, Shae. If something were going to happen between us, it would have by now. It hasn’t though, because we both know where we stand. We almost ruined everything once before by giving in one night after a few too many drinks. It didn’t end well and if we had gone through with it, everything would have been even messier and more complicated. It could have destroyed our friendship. He means enough to me not to risk that again.”
Shae’s face was scrunched up in thought and I could already see the argument forming in her mind.
“Shae, I need you to let this go. Just trust me. It’s not going to happen for us, and it’s better this way. For both of us.”
Shae didn’t say another word, mostly I think because I didn’t give her the chance before I escaped to the bathroom.
When we joined the guys down on the main floor, the conversation I’d had with Shae was shoved down and I pasted a smile on my face as if it’d never even taken place.
A few minutes later, an Uber was curbside waiting to take us to another part of the city. My eyes were glued out the window the entire ride. It was our last night in Nashville, already I was making plans in my mind to come back. There was still so much I wanted to do and experience here.
The Bluebird lived up to its reputation. Good food, good drinks, and great music. I’d thought that we were hearing something special in the bars on Broadway, but this, this was like hearing the next number one hit before anyone else knew about it. I had no doubt that in a month, or maybe two, or maybe longer, some of the songs we heard tonight would be playing on the radio, sung by some big-name artist. Hearing them now felt a little like being in on a secret.
We didn’t find ourselves back on Broadway until almost eleven.
“Only a few hours left to enjoy this fine city. How do we want to spend them?” Kellen put the question to us. He was right; in the morning, we’d be on the road to St.
Louis. Which meant we had to make this night count.
“There’s still one thing we haven’t done yet,” I said with a wicked grin. I was feeling a little bad tonight.
Twelve
Celia
Six years ago
February
I’m not sure what I expected when I all but demanded an audition, but it wasn’t this.
“I said, you got your audition, so are you going to take it?” There was a smug twinkle in Luke’s eye as he drummed his fingers against the bar. He knew he’d caught me off guard, offering me the audition on the spot.
“I didn’t mean right now. I didn’t come prepared–”
“Ah, but you had to know it was possible that you’d be put on the spot, so either you do want the job and you did come prepared to get it, or you don’t really want it. Which is it?” Luke and Leo both watched me expectantly, and I could see by the look in his eye, Luke already thought he knew what my answer was going to be. Which is probably why he offered the audition in the first place.
He didn’t think I had it in me. Hell, I wasn’t even sure if I did, but I had about two seconds to figure it out before Luke would suggest I leave. And if I showed up again, I knew he wouldn’t make the offer twice. Now or never.
I slid smoothly from the stool, summoning every drop of confidence I possessed. “Lead the way.”
For a second, Luke did nothing. This time he was the one caught off guard, but like me, he was willing to go through with this anyway.
“You’ve got the bar,” he told Leo, who gave a nod and then Luke ducked out from behind it. “You coming?”
I was still standing beside my stool, but at his prompting, I spared a quick glance at the beautiful girl who was just taking the stage with all eyes now raptly fixed on her. She had complete command over the room. She had the power here, not the men. For all their money that they thought gave them control, it was her, up on that stage, body on display like a luxurious piece of art, that owned them, if only for a few minutes.
I’d never felt that kind of control before. In fact, I’d always felt as if my life and my choices were outside my control. But as I looked around at the scarcely illuminated faces, eyes riveted to the stage, I realized something. A woman in that position, who knew how to use that kind of power, and not just for one song or dance, but who really knew how to get inside these men’s heads, well she could have damn near anything she wanted.
In the next moment, I was following Luke down that hall in the back. A secret thrill shot up my spine. As nervous and intimidated as I was, I felt like my whole life was about to change, like I was finally leaving behind the girl I’d been in a way that not even moving across the country had accomplished. From here on out, every choice I made would be made for me. No more living for the approval of anyone else. No more childish dreams or wishes wasted on a fairy godmother or prince that wasn’t coming to change my life.
I was done playing the game by anyone else’s rules. My family’s expectations and the hypocrisy of the society I’d been raised in no longer held any sway over me. I did not answer to anyone but myself.
Was it crazy to feel so liberated by what I was about to do?
Maybe.
Luke pulled open one of several doors that made up a line of them on both sides. I could only guess these were the private rooms I’d heard about, and when he held the door open for me to enter ahead of him, it certainly wasn’t an office I stepped into.
The light in the room was lower than in the main club, made to feel even darker by the black walls and dark décor. The vibe in here left no doubt about the kind of acts that went down once the door was closed.
The clicking of the door as it latched after Luke stepped in behind me jumpstarted my heart. Yup, this room screamed one thing, right down to the black leather settee in the middle of the small, square space.
One of those touch screen jukeboxes was mounted on the back wall, and the fact that I could no longer hear the thump of the bass from the main club indicated that these rooms were soundproofed. Total privacy.
“Having second thoughts?” Luke came up behind me, breathing softly in my ear. I could feel his body heat on my back and a slight shudder rocked through me. It was just nerves, but I couldn’t let them show.
I spun around. “Not at all. How do you want to do this?”
Two steps had him in front of the leather seat, and in a smooth, easy motion, he draped his body casually over it, stretching one arm along the backrest. He waved the other hand through the air. “This is your show, sweetheart. Convince me that putting you up on that stage is worth risking my business license. Make me want you.”
I swallowed. Suddenly that felt like lot of pressure.
“Pick a song.” He nodded his head at the high-tech music player.
Grateful for the few extra seconds it gave me to collect myself, I sauntered over to the new school jukebox. Taking my time, I plugged Beyoncé into the search and scrolled through the list of songs that came up until I found the right one. The one that would send the message I wanted, and erase any notion he might have about me being some sweet, little, innocent lamb.
I’d never given a lap dance in my life, but part of my research had included several YouTube videos. When Naughty Girl started, I turned, finding Luke’s eyes on me, and channeled my inner Beyoncé from the music video, and did my best sexy strut back over to where he sat. I let the beat roll through me and found my center. Loosening my body up, I let it rock a bit and lifted my hands to sweep through my hair and then snake down the front of my body.
I did a little turn and then shimmied my hips as I bent at the waist to remove my boots, intentionally presenting him with a view of my bottom, hugged by these tight jeans. I tugged the zippers down and then toed my ankle boots off, and then like a naughty little puppet on a string, I raised my shoulders back up.
I kept my back to him, because it was easier to let myself get into the song and the rhythm without meeting his eyes at first. Once I found that place where I was no longer thinking so hard about it, and just feeling, letting the music lead my inner sexy goddess, I turned to face him. Afraid I would find a bored expression on his face, my inner goddess preened like a cat when his expression was anything but.
My shirt was the next thing to go. I did a mental fist pump when it came off smoothly in one tug. My purple and black bra and jeans were the only thing keeping me from being bared to him, but his eyes remained locked on mine, almost as if he was reluctant to lower them.
That wouldn’t do. I kept the beat with my body and employed another move with my hair, sweeping it up in my hands, letting my head loll back and then letting my hair fall free as my hands too swept over my body. His gaze followed my hands down over my breasts to the fasten on my jeans. I did a slow-motion release of the button and zipper, followed by a shimmy of my hips as I slid my pants down, bending at the waist so my cleavage was eye level, praying my knees wouldn’t shake and thanking my foresight not to wear my skinniest jeans, lest I would have gotten stuck in them and had another embarrassing fall. I stepped out of this pair with ease and then had a moment of awkward realization that there really wasn’t a sexy way to remove your socks. And the ones I wore had ice cream cones all over them.
Left with no choice but to improvise, I did a sexy turn, raising my hands up and rocking my hips to wiggle my ass in the cheeky boy shorts that matched the bra I wore. At least I got the lingerie right. Turning to face him again, and feeling empowered by the heat in his gaze, I strutted the two steps to him and planted my bottom on the arm of the settee. Mere inches separated our bodies and one at a time I raised my smooth, tan legs in front of me and peeled the whimsical socks away.
That was the best I could do and he seemed to approve, his eyes skimming down my legs and back up to the juncture of my thighs like a caress that sent warm tingles through my body. I hoped he was feeling similarly affected or else I was failing. Setting a hand on his shoulder, I pivoted my hips and swung one leg over his lap
so that I was straddling him with my feet planted on the floor, not quite sitting on his lap. I rocked my body to the music once, twice, then planted my knees on the seat beside his hips and this time when my body rolled with the music, it brought his face right to my chest.
He started to reach for me, but I pushed off his shoulders and turned, so this time when I straddled him, it was my ass he had a nice view of.
Rough, warm hands came down on my hips and I settled my body back into his. The prod I felt at my bottom told me everything I needed to know about how affected he was by me. Suddenly though, this felt less like an audition and more like something else entirely. There was a need building inside me that had nothing to do with a job.
It was new and intoxicating and commanding. I hadn’t felt desire in a long time, but I’d never known desire to be like this. I was by no means an innocent virgin, but I felt like one in the wake of this raw and powerful thing unfurling itself in my belly and spreading. It was beyond the comprehension and experience of a teenage girl, but I was surrendering to it.
I dipped my head back to rest on his shoulder, letting my eyes fall closed as I took his hands and dragged them up over my stomach to my chest as I rolled my hips against his lap. I wanted to make him feel it too.
I felt his hiss of breath against my neck and satisfaction hummed through me like a contented purr. I did it again before releasing his hands and pushing up. I spun around and watched as his eyes tracked my every movement, every roll of my hips and sway of my body. I could see the restrained desire seething beneath his surface and it was fuel for my own. I was entranced, lost to these unfamiliar and exciting impulses, driven by his reactions. My body felt on fire, thrumming and overstimulated. The song came to an end with me straddling his lap once more.
When the room was quiet again, we remained locked in that position, my hands on his shoulders, his on my waist, both of us breathing heavily, though me probably more so than him with that hard bulge pressing on my core, and all that erotic heat trapped between our bodies. Something flashed in his eyes, and for a second I thought he was going to act on it, but instead he gripped my waist tighter and then set me away from him back on my feet.
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