Anywhere With You

by Stephanie Hoffman McManus

  “Mother, this is my boyfriend Luke Anderson.”

  “Anderson,” I could see her shrewd mind working as she played the name over in her head. “As in the Luke Anderson who owns that club where you work,” she said disdainfully.

  “Worked,” I mumbled, but I wasn’t sure she even heard me because Luke stepped forward unabashedly, sticking his hand out to her.

  “That’s the one. I wanted to do something a little different than the family business. I couldn’t see myself in a suit, helping run the hotel chain, though I think my dad is still holding out hope that I’ll change my mind and take over one of our resort locations. He’s accepted though that everyone has to make their own way.”

  “Hotel chain?” My mother repeated and Luke’s lips twitched, just barely, but I caught it. “You’re one of those Andersons?” I could just see the dollar signs flashing behind her eyes. They had properties in I believed it was thirty-six countries, the total number of luxury resorts numbering nearly two-hundred. I knew for a fact my parents had stayed at various ones on several occasions.

  “And my good friends Shaeleigh Bradford and Kellen Nash,” I cut in before she could turn on the charm and start trying to schmooze Luke. If she learned Shae was one of those Bradfords, as in Bradford National Banking and Trust, we’d never get away from my mother and her ass kissing.

  “We can just take these up to our rooms right now if you’ll tell us where we’re staying,” I offered, biting back my grin, because as much as I was sure my mother would love nothing more than to make me cart my own bags up the stairs, Luke, Kellen, and Shae were guests. Propriety dictated that guests not be allowed to haul their own luggage up the stairs,

  “Don’t be silly,” she forced that falsely pleasant smile again. “Just leave your bags and they will be taken care of. Everyone else is out back on the terrace.” With that, she turned and made her way deeper into the house. It was implied that we should follow, no matter that we’d been on the road for several hours and would no doubt rather be shown to our rooms.

  The walls were adorned with gaudy art and furnishings that practically screamed look how much I cost. They would have been better off just tacking Benjamins to the wall in my opinion. Everything was done in stark white and shiny gold with deep mahogany pieces and touches of Venetian red. The entire place was over the top and mimicked some European palace. I heard Kellen discreetly mutter under his breath, “Rich people,” followed by a shake of his head. He was the only one of us four that hadn’t been born into this kind of wealth.

  When we came upon two of the household staff, my mother ordered them to tend to our bags, looking once to me. “Will you and your,” her eyes flicked briefly to Luke pressed to my side, “young man be sharing a room?”

  “Yes,” I replied without hesitation, and to my mother’s credit, she did well hiding her disapproval. I was sure I was the only who detected it. Even after all these years, I could read the subtle shifts in her expression. I suppose it helped that disapproval was one I was well acquainted with.

  She nodded at the man and woman, not even having bothered to address them by their names. “Well, see to it.”

  They hurried off and we continued on through the back of the house and out onto the terrace where we became the center of attention as conversation halted.

  “Look who has arrived.” My mother’s lackluster announcement was met mostly with a similar indifference from everyone gathered. My grandparents were there, both sets, my father too, not that he spared more than a glance at me, refusing even to meet my eyes. Tabbi of course was there, on the lap of a man I assumed was the fiancé, otherwise: awkward. She was the only one who jumped up, and for a second I tensed, wondering if she was going to storm off, accuse me of crashing her wedding, or maybe insist I leave. Color me shocked as hell when she plastered a big ol’ smile on her face and rushed me, not to slap me or start a cat fight, but to pull me into a hug.

  “I’m so glad you made it,” she squealed delightedly in my ear.

  “Um,” I was confused. I could count on one hand the number of times my sister had hugged me, or even just looked happy to see me. “Me too,” I mumbled, attempting to fix a smile on my face.

  “Are you going to introduce me to your friends?” she asked eagerly when she pulled away. I took a second to really get a look at her. A lot had changed it seemed, since I’d last seen her. Her once long, strawberry blonde locks were chopped into a short, stylish pixie cut. My mother had never allowed us to cut our hair; she especially never would have approved of such a boyish cut. Tabbi had also filled out somewhat. She was still built like a ballerina, but maybe one with a few more curves, certainly more than my mother would have considered attractive.

  With Tabbi still looking at me expectantly, I made quick introductions. Unlike my mother, she seemed delighted that I’d brought friends, especially Luke, and not because he was filthy rich. Upon getting a good long eyeful of him, she grabbed my hand and shot me a cheeky grin and subtle wink. Who was this brazen hussy and what had she done with my prim and proper sister?

  “Come, I want you to meet Jonathon.”

  As she tugged me along, I scanned the rest of the faces. Everyone else had gone back to their conversations as if my arrival was nothing of interest. I was looking for Mitch, but he was absent. Instead my eyes landed on a familiar face I hadn’t expected to see. My footsteps faltered momentarily when his eyes met mine. He was sitting with the group of guys nearest Tabbi’s fiancé. Were they friends?

  I quickly averted my eyes and turned my focus to the dark-haired man, smiling pleasantly and now holding his hand out to me. I took it, and then made the same introductions I had with my sister and Luke, Kellen, and Shae. The introductions didn’t stop there, as my sister went around to all the bridal party.

  “I’m sure you remember Heather and Ashley.” Her best friends from high school. “This is Tiffany and Jackie. We met at Stanford. This is Dustin, Jon’s brother. And of course, you already know Lauren,” she indicated our cousin who gave me a frosty smile. “And Eric. He’s Jon’s cousin, isn’t that a crazy coincidence?” It was the first time her smile faltered all night.

  Eric met my masked expression with an uneasy one of his own. On the inside I was unravelling. I hadn’t seen him in close to six years. Not since he showed up in South Carolina at The Orchid once he’d heard I was working there, and I sent him away.

  Shoving all that back down, I turned a tight smile on Tabbi. “Yeah, what a coincidence.”

  As unprepared as I was to see Eric here, I felt like I’d been hit by a brick when I felt another set of eyes on me and casually glanced around at the mix of familiar faces and new ones until I found Mr. Myer, Eric’s father, watching me with a dark and calculating look in his eye. That man despised me with an intensity that rivaled my parents’. The web of destruction I cast at seventeen went far and wide. But that was okay, because I hated the man who had been my father’s friend and business associate for years. It was a friendship built on secrets and lies. Ones that if ever outed could ruin everyone’s lives.

  Ten minutes around these people and already I was feeling sick from the deceit of it all.

  Welcome home Celia.

  Twenty-Six

  Cici

  Present

  A large, warm body settled behind mine and strong hands came down on my shoulders. They began massaging away some of the tension there. I let my head sag forward and released a long sigh, dropping the phone in my hand to the bed, forgetting all about whatever I’d been looking at. Luke’s naked thighs stretched out on either side of my hips and his warm breath feathered across my cheek when he leaned in.

  “How’re you feeling?” We’d finally made it to our room after enduring nearly two hours of meaningless banter and catching up with my sister and everyone. I was still having a hard time buying her whole glad to see me act even though she’d kept it up all night.

  “I’m fine,” I breathed, glancing back over my shoulder. I guess I wasn’t a
s good at pretending as the rest of my family, because he didn’t buy it.

  “Don’t.” He shook his head. “Don’t tell me you’re fine when it’s clear you’re not. Talk to me, tell me where your head is at.” His magic hands stilled on my shoulders and I could already feel the tension returning.

  “You keep working those hands and I’ll talk.”

  His fingers started up their ministrations again, digging in to work out the knots and aches that had settled deep into the tissue.

  “I knew I wasn’t going to like being back here, but I guess as much as I thought I was prepared for it, I can’t help how weird it is and how out of place I feel. And that’s how I felt my whole life. I never belonged here and the reminder of that makes all those old wounds feel fresh, things I thought I was over.”

  “Do you want to hear what I think?” he asked and there was a hesitance in his voice almost as if he expected me to tell him no.

  “Yes.” I always wanted to hear his thoughts, even if I wasn’t going to like them. I counted on him for that.

  His hands didn’t stop, but they gentled, his thumbs rubbing soft circles at the base of my neck. “I don’t think you can get over something without facing it. It seems to me like you just tried to bury everything in your past and now it’s all coming back up. I also think you showed up here expecting it to go terribly, expecting them all to be the same people they were before and treat you exactly the same. While I’ll admit, your mother wasn’t exactly a peach, and most of the rest of your family didn’t rush to give you a warm welcome either, you were standoffish from the moment you walked in the door. Maybe they’re all taking their cues from you. They may not know how to feel or react either, but regardless of your parents or grandparents, your sister seemed genuinely happy to see you. So, even if no one else has changed, maybe she has. I think for her sake, and for yours, you should give her that chance.”

  “I changed my mind. I don’t want to know what you think,” I said half-heartedly.

  He chuckled softly. “Too bad.” And then his arms came around me and pulled my back against his chest. I leaned my head back to rest against his shoulder and twisted my neck to look up at him.

  “You really don’t think she was just putting on a show for her fiancé?”

  “I don’t, but I also don’t know her so I could be wrong.”

  “I don’t know what to think. She always seemed to share my mother’s opinion. She was like her in so many ways.”

  “You said you haven’t seen her since you moved to South Carolina, so you don’t really know her anymore either.”

  “I guess not, but getting my hopes up for some kind of relationship with my sister just seems like a good way to wind up disappointed.”

  “No matter what, I’m with you. I’ve got you.” He pressed a kiss to my temple and we lay like that until I felt my eyes drooping and my body sagging further against him. Gentle fingers brushed the hair off my cheek and he laid another kiss on the side of my head before he shifted out from behind me. I started to sit up when he climbed from the bed until I realized he was only moving to turn out the light and then he returned, slipping beneath the covers in nothing but his boxers. He tucked me against his warm skin and surrounded me with his protective embrace.

  As tired as I felt and as comforting as it was being held so close to him, I should have drifted off almost immediately, but as soon as I laid my head on the pillow, I was wide awake again, thinking about things from the past that were indeed unburying themselves. I wondered what Luke would think if he knew everything.

  I wanted to tell him, because if there was anyone who could look at my entire sordid past and not hold it against me, it would be him. He’d already seen so many of my worst qualities and knew there were secrets I kept. He’d never judged me before, but what if this was something he couldn’t get past. What if revealing to him all of why I’d had to escape to the other side of the country finally made him see me in a different light?

  I knew it was my own self-doubt causing this fear and that of everyone in my life, I could trust Luke the most, but still I wasn’t ready to share the worst of my sins with him yet. I just needed a little more time to show him that I really was trying to be a better person. If I was honest, I needed a little more time to prove it to myself too. And I needed to come to terms with it all before I could expect him to.

  I didn’t know how to do that yet, because just thinking about that time still gutted me and filled me with the soul deep regret that had been there from the moment I made the decision that couldn’t be taken back. It was always just under the surface, waiting to sneak up on me if I let my guard down. I knew, no matter what I did, it would always be there. Some wounds never fully healed and I’d spent so long covering this one up. I was afraid to let it out and let it show. That would mean living with it instead of trying to pretend it’d never happened. I wasn’t sure I could do that. Not without breaking apart in ways I might not be able to put back together.

  Would Luke be able to piece me back together? Could he keep me from breaking in the first place? Could I let myself lean on him like that? I’d never had anyone to really lean on in my entire life.

  But that wasn’t true. For the last six years, I’d had him, and while I might have denied all the ways I loved him. I’d always relied on him, counted on him, turned to him.

  The next emotion I felt was guilt, because now that I knew how he’d felt all along, I realized how much I’d used him. He’d given me so much and never asked for a thing. I hadn’t been for him what he’d been for me. It was time for me to stop being selfish and expecting him to always take care of me.

  I could take care of him. And I would. I would show him all the ways that he was the most important thing to me. The idea of not having him in my life hurt as much as any of the scars from my past. He was a vital part of me.

  I’d taken him for granted for too long. I couldn’t fix everything I’d done, but I could fix that. And maybe along the way I’d fix myself too.

  My mind continued to wander and refused to quiet long enough for me to escape into my dreams while Luke slept soundly beside me, his mind untroubled by the thoughts and memories that wouldn’t let me go the longer I was in this house.

  Eventually, I couldn’t take lying there any longer. Knowing everyone in the house would have long since gone to bed, I thought I could slip down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea, or maybe raid the liquor cabinet for something stronger that would help me sleep.

  Carefully and quietly, shoving the covers back, I wriggled out of Luke’s arms and climbed from the bed. I shifted the blankets back in place over him, thankful when he barely stirred, and then I slipped quietly from the room.

  Instead of going to the kitchen, I made my way to my grandfather’s study; where the good stuff was kept. Even in the near total darkness, the path down the stairs and around the corner and down the long hall was familiar to me. This wasn’t my first late night drinking session in this house. But tonight, I wasn’t looking to get drunk; just a few sips of my grandfather’s expensive scotch would do and then I’d go back to bed.

  My footsteps had been nearly silent, so it shouldn’t have surprised me that the person following me didn’t make a sound either. I nearly let out a yell when I heard the door of the study, which I’d left cracked, click shut while I was rooting around in the liquor cabinet by the desk. I spun around, hoping to see that Luke had woken and followed me, but instead it was Eric who stood just inside the door.

  I froze. Literally. I couldn’t move or say a word. My mind was reeling.

  “This brings back memories,” he said with a dull smile. “How many times did we break into our parents’ liquor?”

  Finally, I found my voice and let go of the bottle I’d been about to pull from the cabinet. “What are you doing, Eric? If you’re just looking for a stroll down memory lane, I’m not interested in going back there.”

  He dropped the smile. Some of the tiredness in his features sli
pped through as he slowly strode deeper into the room “No, I just couldn’t sleep. I’m in the room across from yours, sharing with Jon and Dustin. It’s hard enough to sleep with the two of them snoring, and I’m on the couch in there, but … I don’t know. I didn’t expect seeing you to hit me this hard, but I can’t stop thinking about things.”

  “I’m sorry if my being here is hard; it’s not exactly easy for me either.” Especially not knowing that I’d lied to Eric the same way I had everyone else, and knowing it was that lie that had to still be eating him up.

  “I know, God, I can’t even imagine what this is like for you. Honestly, I didn’t even think you’d come. You said you’d never come back here. Said you never wanted to see me again.”

  I had said that. I’d panicked when he showed up in the last place I expected him to be that first summer I worked at The Orchid. By then, word had gotten out. My family knew what I was up to, how I was making my money, and it was no surprise that the gossip had reached Eric. What was a surprise was that it had compelled him to hop on a plane and come find me. Only, I hadn’t wanted to be found, hadn’t wanted to face him.

  If only I’d just told him the truth that day, we wouldn’t be standing here now. I could have spared him some of the guilt and regret and pain I could see leaking out of his gaze. Eric was maybe the only one who was innocent back then. Sure, he was lazy, spoiled, arrogant, and entitled, not to mention a shitty boyfriend, but he didn’t deserve what I did to him. Not when I lied and not when he came to see me later to try and make things right.

  “I’m sorry. I was still so angry then. I was trying to forget everything that happened. Seeing you was a reminder I didn’t want. That’s why I told you to leave.”

  “It’s okay. I understand. I just wish I had done things so differently, then maybe you wouldn’t have ended up there.” He dropped his eyes to the carpet, kicking at it and shifting uncomfortable. His guilt tore through me and I couldn’t stand it.