Tulsa

by S. L. Scott

  “You blocked me out.”

  “Nikki, this isn’t about us. This is about me being blindsided by a man who claims to be my father.”

  “Right. As I said, I get it. But we just got married. There is no you or me anymore. It’s supposed to be us now.” Of course, she’s right, but I can’t take that on at the moment.

  “This is doing my head in.” I set the album on the bed and rub my temples. Fucking headache. “I just found out my dad might not be my dad.”

  “Father.”

  My gaze darts to hers. “What?”

  “Not your dad. Your father.”

  “Right.” Fuck. “Father. I can’t even think straight.” The fucker came into my life when he wasn’t welcome. I’m fucking pissed off. Why the hell now? How did he even know I’d be home? Has he been stalking me? Us? “Can you cut me some slack?”

  Even though I shouldn’t have said it, especially with the anger it came out with, the second the words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back. Shit.

  “Guess what?” I know a trick question when I hear one, so I remain silent. “I can cut you so much slack you won’t even see me.”

  She turns on her heel, but I catch her wrist before she has a chance to storm out. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I don’t give a damn what you meant.” Yanking her arm away from me, she argues, “What you said was to give you space. I can do that, no problem. I’m going home.”

  “Nikki, stop. I don’t want to fight with you.”

  “Then don’t.”

  “Fuck. Why don’t you get it?”

  “Get what?”

  I can’t keep the anger out of my tone anymore. “I just gave you a name that might not be mine to give.”

  Two light knocks on the door draw our attention away from each other. “I came to see if you found the album.” Jet’s standing in the doorway. “Also, the whole house can hear you. You woke up Alfie.”

  “I’m sorry,” Nikki says, her face turning red. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I can close the door if you need more time.” It’s not okay, but Jet would never want someone to feel bad.

  Out of the corners of my eyes, I see Nikki’s head drop down. Fuck. I say, “I think it’s time we go home.” He looks at me, not saying a word, but his thoughts on the matter are heard loud and clear. We’ve exposed ourselves. “Give us a minute, okay?”

  He closes the door, and I go to her, holding her to me, hoping it’s as tightly as she needs. “I’m sorry,” I whisper into her hair. “I love you.”

  “I know you do, Tulsa. But I need you to trust me, to let me in, or we’ll never make it.” She pushes back just enough to look up at me. “I want us to make it.”

  “I do too.” My throat feels thick with regret. “I’ve somehow managed to give you the shittiest honeymoon ever, when all I want to do is give you the universe.”

  But like she always does, she makes my world better simply by existing in it. “It’s not your fault. I blame that man. He has really shitty timing showing up on our honeymoon like this.” That he does. Asshole.

  Her little pout causes me to chuckle and start to feel better. “Yeah, he does.” I pick up the album and open the door. “Let’s look through this and then get out of here. I’m ready to be home alone with you.”

  When we return to the living room, Rivers and Jet are sitting—one in the chair and the other on the couch. By the bouncing leg on both, I’d guess not so patiently waiting.

  Hannah comes in after us, and I say, “Sorry about waking Alfie.”

  Just like she always does, she comforts me. “It’s okay. He’s fine and fell right back asleep.”

  Jet stands as if he’s been waiting to do it all day. “What did you mean when you said you gave Nikki a name that’s not yours to give?”

  The movement is slight, but I catch Nikki shifting behind me. Hannah sits on the couch, and Rivers gets up to walk to the window, looking out, avoiding my face. He knows we’re together, but my other brother is coming in blind to the situation.

  Checking over my shoulder, I try to catch Nikki’s eyes, hoping she’s okay under the interrogation light. It’s a lot more intense than the spotlight she’s used to. I reach around and take her hand because I caused this. I planned it, and she went along with my idea, so I’ll shield her from the blame. She gives the minutest of nods, giving me permission to spill the beans. “Nikki and I got married in Vegas.”

  If I thought it was quiet before, the silence is deafening now. It takes a few awkward seconds before Hannah cuts the tension. “Congratulations. That’s wonderful. Right, Jet? Congratulations, guys.”

  “Thanks,” replies Nikki, and she and Hannah hug.

  With a kind smile, Hannah turns to me. “Congratulations, Tulsa.” She hugs me and pats me on the back. My eyes stay on my brothers because it doesn’t matter how old I am, I still need their approval. I’m not sure I’m going to get it this time.

  “Thanks, Han.”

  Rivers smiles and looks down, shaking his head. “Well, shit.” I’m glad to see him smile. It’s been a while.

  Jet’s gaze goes to Nikki first and then to me. When he grins, the remaining tension lifts. “I knew you were getting together, but I didn’t know it’d gotten so heavy so fast.”

  Nikki is holding my hand between both of hers. “It just felt right.” I pull her beside me and wrap my arm around her waist. “I’m in love with her.” I don’t defend my decision because it was mine to make.

  He looks at Nikki again, and this time, he wears his emotions for all to see. Squeezing the bridge of his nose is really a cover for the tears that popped into his eyes. He won’t let them fall, but it’s good to see. Happy tears. He’s a lot like our mom, which sometimes makes me miss her more. “Congratulations and welcome to the family.” He hugs her, and when she hugs him in return, I can see the sentiment is genuine. Turning to me, he squeezes my shoulder. “Guess I’m not the boss around here anymore.”

  I chuckle and signal to Nikki. “There’s a new sheriff in town.”

  When I get choked up, I shove his shoulder for getting me all emotional. Fucker. Grabbing me into a hold, he says, “I don’t know how you got so damn lucky.” Once again so fucking lucky to call these guys my brothers.

  “Me either, but I’ll thank my lucky stars every night for bringing her.”

  “I’m happy for you, Tulsa. Congrats, man.”

  “Thanks.”

  Rivers is already hugging on my beautiful wife when Jet goes to Hannah and puts his arm around her. When he kisses her on the head, I now understand why such a simple act matters so much—connection and chemistry.

  My brother, my roommate, my bandmate, and former wingman holds out his hand. Two slow slides, three fist bumps, and a quick chest hit, and we bring it in to pat each other on the back. “Congrats, brother.”

  “Thanks, Riv.”

  Hannah’s little burst of giddiness startles me and makes me laugh. She claps her hands together, and says, “You should be on your honeymoon, not hanging out with us.”

  Clapping her hands together too, Nikki squeals. “Now that you guys know, we can finally breathe easier.” Draping herself on me, she adds, “I’m in love with him, and it’s torture to hide it.”

  Rivers sits on the couch. “You guys should get a room for a few days, not our dingy apartment. Treat yourselves.”

  “That’s the problem. We can’t be seen together.”

  Rubbing his temples, Jet mutters. “Laird doesn’t know, does he?”

  Nikki shakes her head. “Neither does Shane, or Johnny.”

  “Who knows so I don’t fuck this up?”

  I answer, “Dex, Rochelle, Tommy, and you guys.”

  Hannah and Jet sit down on the couch, and she kicks her feet up on his lap. He starts rubbing without even being asked. Damn, that’s love. “That’s quite a secret you were keeping. How long did you plan on hiding this?”

  Sitting next to her, Nikki sighs. “Through the tour
.”

  “Two weeks left,” Jet says. “Are you sticking with that plan?”

  Planting myself on the arm of the couch, I ask, “What do you think?”

  Rivers takes the photo album and starts flipping through the pages. “For the tour, I’d say hide it. From the press, I’ll wish you luck.” Looking back at us, he adds, “Welcome to the family, Nikki.” Then something catches his eye when he turns back.

  Pointing at a page, River says, “This is him. Berk Cartwright.”

  I get to my feet and look at the photos. There are three on the page, but my eyes stay fixed on the top one. Shep, Berk, and our mom. “They look happy here.” Turning my head, I see the year printed on the side of the photo. “This was before I was born.”

  The plastic page crinkles when I turn it, much like a warning. All the happiness I felt disappears into smoke as the illusion I’d contentedly resided in all my life collapses. There, in a photo I’ve probably seen before and never once gave any thought to, is Berk Cartwright holding me while my mother looks on with a big smile.

  I don’t know how much time passes or what conversations occur around me. I just know that the man who claims to be my father just might be.

  “You’re a Crow, Tulsa. Through and through. Thick and thin. You’re a Crow,” Jet says as if saying it will make it true.

  Backing away from the photo, I stumble into a chair. “I think I should . . . we should. . . go. I’m tired. Need a clear head.”

  Nikki rushes to me. “It’s okay, babe. It will all be okay.”

  I walk around her. “It sure as shit doesn’t feel okay.” Opening the door, I hear Nikki making apologies for leaving, her voice trailing off as I walk down the path to the Bronco. “Dinner was delish. Thank you again.”

  Her door opens as soon as mine does, and then I realize what an asshole I am. “I should have opened it for you.”

  “It’s okay. I got it.”

  Climbing inside, I reach across for her seat belt when she settles in, stealing a kiss while I’m there. “Some honeymoon this is. I’m sorry.”

  “Stop apologizing. It’s about being together. We’re together. I can’t ask for anything more.” Pressing her hand against my leg, she leverages herself closer and puts her lips to my ear. “Now take me home and have your wicked way with me.”

  The ignition is cranked, and the engine purrs like I want her to do once I get her in my bed. The sexy sound of Nikki Faris, Nikki Crow, coming is sweet music to my ears. Now that changes the mood completely. Focus on that. Focus on her. Let the rest go until tomorrow. There’s nothing I can do about it tonight anyway.

  I buckle her in and then sit back while I click mine. “Hang on tight, darlin’. It’s about to get rough.”

  “The road or once we get home?”

  “Both,” I say, winking.

  30

  Nikki

  The second the front door closes, our clothes fly off our bodies like we’re allergic to the fabric they’re made of. I kiss Tulsa, wanting him to forget the bad and only feel how good we are together.

  I hate all the hours wasted while our bodies weren’t connected, leaving too much time for the realities of life to slip in and do damage. “I feel empty without you inside me.”

  “I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven every time we’re together.” He dips his head to the side and ravages my neck. I feel the pressure of his hands everywhere, all at once.

  “I need you. I need you . . .” My voice fades off as he lifts me. Wrapping my legs around him, I squeeze to hold myself up. My husband is all man and muscle, ripped abs and cut biceps. Sexy veins and that tongue . . . “Will you go down on me?”

  With his hands squeezing my ass, he’s about to take my nipple into his mouth but stops and looks up. “Don’t worry your pretty self. I’m going to spend all night savoring every part of you.” Flipping me onto the bed, he adds, “Open up, baby. I’m starting with your pussy.”

  God, that’s hot.

  I rest back with my head flat on the mattress and spread my legs and arms out wide. “Take me. I’m yours.”

  Standing at the end of the bed, he takes his sweet Texas time looking me over, like I’m the dessert tray and he has all day. I’m tempted to pull him down or cover myself up, but he never makes me squirm for long. Kneeling to pray to my altar, he grabs me and pulls me to the end of the bed, draping my legs over his shoulders.

  I can barely breathe, out of desperation for him. His kiss. His touch.

  The Tulsa special appears just before he licks his lips and lowers his mouth to me. I always jerk on contact from his hot breath and soft lips that caress me as if he’s only got one last kiss to give, and he plans to make the most of it.

  As he sends me racing toward the edge of an orgasm, I start to slow down and feel. I feel something so powerful, a connection with him that I’ve never shared with anyone.

  This is more than love and deeper than lust. This is soul expanding. My heart feels so open, so ready to receive all his love, so ready to give all he needs. “Tulsa?” I pat the bed when he looks up. “Come here.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.” We move up the mattress until we’re settled with our heads on the pillows. I roll onto my side, wanting to see him. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t come. It doesn’t matter that he’s kissed my lips down there. I just want to be swathed in his love. I want my body enveloped by him. I want him wrapped up in me. “I love you.”

  His palm rests on my chest, and he kisses my shoulder. “C’mere.” Snuggling into his side, our breath is heard, our hearts beating together, our souls tangled up in each other. “I love you.”

  A few minutes pass when his body eases over mine, and he kisses me as he positions himself between my legs. Looking into my eyes, he says, “My whole world is right here.”

  “My universe,” I whisper. Pushing in, he presses his lips to mine, and I swallow his heavy exhale, wanting everything he’ll give me. When we part, I repeat, “I love you.”

  The words fade into low moans; our eyes are open, each of us not wanting to miss a moment of this. Our bodies move together as we reach for our release. “I want us to come together.”

  “We will.” Dropping his head to my shoulder, he moves his body with determination. “I’ll make you feel like you make me feel. So good, baby.”

  Using his shoulders for leverage, I meet him thrust for thrust, his erection hitting me in all the right places every time we push together. I start to fall over the edge, my mind focused on the sensations of lust and love. On him. Losing track of time and myself, he consumes me.

  Tulsa.

  Tulsa.

  “Tulsa.”

  We finish strong, and together. He collapses on top of me, and I hold him tightly. Kissing the side of his neck, I whisper once more, “I love you.”

  Moving off me, he falls on his back. “Why? Why do you love me, Nikki?” How can he not know?

  “That’s easy to answer.” I run my hands up his neck and into his hair. “I love you because you make my heart feel full.”

  “That’s my job as your husband. Heart-filler. Supporter of dreams. Love maker.” He winks, which makes me smile, matching how I feel inside.

  “How did I get so lucky?”

  “It’s not luck, darlin’. It’s meant to be just like this.”

  I curl against his side, resting one of my legs on his, my arm over his middle. The beat of his heart, strong and steady, giving me solace here in his small apartment, in his bed, our bed, that holds the faint scent of him. My senses are comforted, my body relaxed. “Meant to be,” I whisper, and kiss his shoulder as my eyes grow heavy.

  He kisses the top of my head, and whispers, “Sweet dreams.”

  “Are you sleeping?”

  “I’m awake.”

  He sounds too awake for the hour. “Thinking about Berk?”

  “Yeah.” He rolls to his side, and with the moonlight filtering in through the blinds, I can see the worry in his eyes
.

  Massaging his scalp gently, I try to comfort him. “Laird used to tell me I was a bonus baby my parents won in a raffle at the hospital.” The memory makes me laugh. “I shouldn’t find it as funny as I do, but I guess I can because I always knew it was a joke.”

  “I’ve never questioned who my parents were. My mom was the best,” he says with a soft smile that comes from reminiscing. “It didn’t matter that our father left. Honestly, we barely noticed. He came back a couple of times over the years, but my mom wouldn’t take him back. He was an alcoholic who used to pick fights with us an hour after declaring he was home. Eventually, he stopped coming around. That’s what I remember about him.” Running his hand along the dip of my waist, he watches me with a tinge of betrayal in his eyes. “My mom was all we needed.”

  “I’m sorry.” I wish I could give him more than an apology. For him, I’m sorry his mom’s no longer here, and that this mess has landed at his front door.

  The heat of his palm warms my cheek as he caresses me. “She would have loved you. You have all the qualities she would want for her sons. Spirited—”

  “Is that what we’re calling it?” I laugh. “I’ve been called worse, so spirited is an upgrade.”

  His smile sours. “What are you talking about? What have you been called?” He seems to answer his own question silently, then adds, “He’s a fucker. I’m glad you have security at the shows, but I’ve been wondering if you need more.”

  “I’m not going to live in a bubble. It’s not like I’m some huge star.”

  “I’m your biggest fan, sweetheart, but I worry about the psychos.”

  “Don’t worry about me.” I love the feel of his scruff under my fingertips. “I can handle myself.”

  He exhales a deep breath. “I know you can. I just . . . it’s bullshit. You shouldn’t have to. What if I can’t protect you?”

  I see sadness, disappointment, and anger. The three emotions slide over him and change the mood between us. Sitting up, Tulsa swings his legs over the side. “I don’t even know who the fuck I am anymore. All because some asshole showed up and made me question everything I thought I knew.” He drops his head into his hands. “Why did you marry me?”