If I Should Stay

by Tamara Lynn

  “Tell me about her,” the professor said.

  She’d never told Dr. Everly that she was gay. How did he know it was a woman? And how did he know that this is what was going on inside of her?

  “Her name is Lauren,” Julia began. “We met on a two-week vacation to Ireland.”

  “Romantic,” the professor mused.

  “Yeah,” Julia nodded. “It was. Our connection was intense, and I was hoping to continue our relationship once we returned from vacation.”

  Dr. Everly raised his chin, “Ah, she didn’t feel the same way, I assume?”

  “No,” Julia shook her head. “Now I’m left without closure. I am wondering if what we had in Ireland was real or fake. I have no way of talking to her. I would like to know what I did wrong, or why she did not see me as girlfriend material.”

  “What else?” the professor pushed her to reach deeper. “What’s your real question?”

  “Can I handle never seeing her again?” Julia muttered. “I just wish I had a chance to fight for us. Like in the movies, I can’t run down the street in the rain chasing her. I can’t do anything.”

  “Paint it,” Dr. Everly instructed. “Paint all of it. The good and the bad. You may not find healing, but you will find beauty.”

  Chapter 5

  Lauren looked out over the golf course as the sun began to set on the horizon. Jake Powell’s neighborhood was luxurious. And the view? She could get used to a view like this. His backyard connected to the golf course, and his back patio faced west. Sunsets every night. Her mind wandered to Julia and Ireland.

  “Do you play?” Jake asked as he joined her outside.

  “No, but someday I would like to learn.” Lauren turned to look at him. He brought out two glasses of wine. It was beautiful and romantic. But it wasn’t for her. She didn’t need any of that. Lauren was there to do a job. All of this airy stuff was for Jake. Some men felt the need for these charades. Maybe it helped with the guilt. Whatever the case, Lauren just wanted to hurry things along and be done with the night. The sunset really made her miss Julia, and she was having trouble moving past it.

  Lauren had learned that the kind of men who require her services are for the most part simple. Obviously, there was one thing on his mind, and she knew she could easily distract him. He wouldn’t even have a clue she’d been crying.

  ◆◆◆

  Later that evening, as their time came to an end, Lauren picked up her purse and headed for the door.

  “Thank you,” Jake said as he held the door for her.

  She wasn’t sure why some men felt the need to thank her for something that they purchased. It wasn’t like she was doing them a favor.

  “You’re welcome,” Lauren put her hand on his arm. “You were fantastic,” she lied.

  Jake reached out and pulled her into his arms for one last sloppy good-bye kiss.

  A bright flash lit the area around them.

  “Woah,” Jake said. “Did you feel that?”

  “It’s not what you think,” Lauren said and she quickly pulled away from him. She caught the eye of her body guard, Johnny, who was already in hot pursuit.

  “It’s a camera,” she said. Lauren stepped out of her heels and ran after them.

  The two men tumbled to the ground and began wrestling. For a minute, Lauren thought that the cameraman might get away, but then Johnny planted a fist in his face and knocked the man unconscious.

  “Here,” he said as he handed her the camera. “Give this to Mr. Powell.”

  Jake finally caught up to them. “What are you going to do with him?”

  “You do not want to know. Plausible deniability,” Johnny mumbled. “We will handle the situation.”

  It did not come as a surprise to Lauren when Johnny loaded the cameraman into the trunk of his car. Johnny thought he was an old school mobster and conducted his business as such. She would have felt bad for their prisoner, but instead she was worried that she would get in trouble for all of this.

  Would Jake complain? Would she get the blame? What would Giancarlo do to her this time?

  ◆◆◆

  It was midnight before they arrived back at the house. Giancarlo met them at the door. “Where is he?”

  Johnny motioned to the trunk.

  “Let me see him,” Giancarlo sneered.

  Lauren stood slightly behind Johnny as he fiddled with the lock. She wasn’t sure who she was more afraid of in that moment. Giancarlo or the guy in the trunk.

  As the trunk lid opened, the cameraman jumped out, apparently trying to escape. His feet barely hit the ground before Johnny knocked him back out.

  “You got the camera?” Giancarlo asked.

  “Lauren gave it to Mr. Powell,” Johnny explained.

  Giancarlo walked up next to Lauren and flexed his muscles in a move of intimidation.

  Her heart was racing. She set her jaw and clenched her fists causing her fingernails to dig into her palms. She wanted to cry.

  “Good job, Lauren,” he patted her on the shoulder.

  The touch was light, but she instinctively shrank from it as though his hand weighed 100 pounds.

  “Get him in the cellar,” Giancarlo barked to Johnny. Then he looked over at Lauren. “Not a word of this to anyone. Capisce?”

  Lauren nodded and then turned to go in the house. She needed the security of her room. And the companionship of a fuzzy orange kitten.

  ◆◆◆

  The next night, Holly and Lauren were hanging out in their bedroom feeding El Diablo a generous portion of catnip.

  “I was in the kitchen getting pickles,” Holly sat on the end of Lauren’s bed.

  “Are you pregnant?” Lauren asked.

  “No!” Holly snapped. “Shut up and listen!”

  “Fine, fine, go on.” Lauren crossed her arms and smiled at Holly.

  “I was in the kitchen getting pickles and I overheard Johnny talking to Pete about the photographer from last night.”

  “What did you hear?” Lauren’s curiosity peaked.

  “He isn’t paparazzi or anything. He’s a private investigator.” Holly was extremely proud of herself.

  “Poor guy. He has no clue who he is dealing with.” Lauren hated that he was locked in the cellar of horrors.

  “Anyhow, I have an idea,” Holly continued.

  Holly’s ideas were never good. Lauren wished she could press pause and make Holly stop. But once she got going there was no stopping her.

  “Maybe he could help us find Julia.”

  Lauren’s breath caught in her throat just at the mention of her name.

  “What do you think?” Holly asked.

  “I think he probably won’t survive another night,” Lauren said sadly.

  ◆◆◆

  Of course, this was Holly’s idea. And Lauren chided herself for going along with it. Once again, they were sneaking past Pete. And like before, Holly was slowing the process to procure a ball of cookie dough.

  Lauren wondered how she could eat at a time like this. The fear of getting caught made her sick to her stomach. Then again, Holly had no fear. Just enviable metabolism.

  They quietly opened the back door of the kitchen and stepped into the dark night. The moon was concealed by total cloud cover so it offered no light. It took nearly a minute for Lauren’s eyes to adjust to the darkness.

  “Let’s do this quickly,” she grabbed Holly by the hand and pulled her in the direction of the cellar.

  Thunder grumbled in the distance, and Lauren decided the situation could not be more ominous.

  When they reached the cellar, Lauren knocked three times on the door. There was no response.

  “Do you think he is still down there?” Holly asked.

  “I hope so.” She knocked again. There were no sounds. No movement.

  “Hey you!” Lauren whisper-yelled through the crack in-between the doors.

  Lauren looked over at Holly. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

  Holly, leaned in and ge
ntly pushed Lauren to the side. She pressed her ear to the crack and listened.

  They held their breath and tried to be as still as possible. The only noise they heard was the thunder rumbling in the distance.

  All of the sudden, Holly’s face jerked down into the doors. Instinctively, she reached her hand to her mouth to muffle a scream.

  Lauren sprang into action and pulled at the bloody fingers wrapped in Holly’s hair. “Let go!”

  “Help me!” a hoarse voice called from the cellar.

  “Let her go, now!” Lauren demanded.

  The cameraman released his grip on Holly’s hair, and she fell back against the grass.

  “Are you okay?” Lauren rushed to her friend’s side.

  Holly nodded. She was completely freaked out, but physically unharmed.

  “I’m going to talk to him,” Lauren looked Holly directly in the eyes. “Do you think you can be quiet?”

  Holly nodded again.

  Lauren pulled her hair back in a pony tail and then crawled through the grass to the cellar doors.

  “Help me,” his voice was full of desperation.

  “I will, but you have to help me too,” Lauren’s voice was quiet but firm. “I’ve been told you are a private investigator. Is that true?”

  “Yes,” he replied.

  “Could you find someone that I lost?” Lauren wasted no time getting to the point.

  “Yes,” came the voice again.

  “I can tell you how to escape. But in exchange, I want you to find Julia James for me,” Lauren whispered.

  “Julia James?” the voice confirmed.

  “Correct, Julia James. She is an artist. A painter. She will either be in D.C. or one of the surrounding states. Can you do this?” Lauren knew that the longer they stayed out there, the more dangerous the situation became. She needed to get this settled quickly.

  “Yes,” the man simply replied.

  Lauren turned around and looked at Holly. She wanted to ask her advice, whether or not she could trust this man, but Holly was visibly shaken. There was no time for second guessing.

  “Ok, find the stool. You will need it. In the far left corner of the cellar, hidden in-between the beams of the ceiling, is a hand saw. A thunderstorm is almost here. It will provide enough sound cover for you to use the saw. Understand?” She paused and listened carefully.

  “Yes,” came the answer.

  Lauren wanted to talk more, to try to get some verbal reassurance that the man would keep his word, but the rain was starting to come. They needed to get back inside. She stood to her feet and motioned for Holly to follow her.

  They were not out of danger yet. They still had to get past Pete. Thunder cracked loudly above them and it made both of them jump. Lauren’s nerves were raw and she did not know how much more stress she could handle.

  Holly opened the back door to the kitchen and they quietly slipped inside. Pete must have heard them because the sound of his footsteps coming into the kitchen let them know they were trapped. Holly pulled Lauren into the corner by the refrigerator. The huddled there as tightly as they could, hoping that Pete would not walk in far enough to see them. He turned on the light, and there was a moment of silence. He was listening intently, and they were too.

  Satisfied that no one was there, Pete turned the light off, and walked away. They stayed still, probably longer than they needed too, but both women were afraid to move. Last time they fooled him by acting like they were making out. This time they couldn’t risk detection. When morning came, and Giancarlo’s prisoner was gone, they needed to be free from association. Pete must believe that they spent the entire evening in their room.

  ◆◆◆

  The sound of a door slamming woke Lauren from her sleep. If it hadn’t though, Giancarlo’s screaming voice would have. She tried to carefully sit up, but El Diablo, being afraid of thunderstorms, was tucked in tightly next to her. She didn’t want to crush the kitten.

  “Lauren,” Holly whispered.

  “I hear it,” Lauren whispered back.

  “What are we going to do?” Holly got out of the bed and tip toed over to her.

  “Just stick to the story. We’ve been up in our rooms since late last night.” Lauren reached out a hand to Holly. “We’ll be fine. They have no reason to suspect us.”

  Lauren leaned her head back into her pillow and stared up at the ceiling. She had to get out of there. It was dangerous to leave, but it was also dangerous to stay. She contemplated what would happen if she went to the police. Would they offer protection for her family? What if she escaped and didn’t alert the authorities? Would Giancarlo let her be? That seemed highly unlikely. She would be a risk at that point. And Giancarlo would eliminate her.

  Luciana’s voice could be heard now. She was clearly unhappy with the way her brother was managing things.

  “Are you scared at all?” Holly asked.

  “Are you?” Lauren responded. For as long as she had been living there, Lauren had never seen Holly act like she was afraid of Giancarlo and Luciana. Now though, she was starting to see a fear creep into Holly’s eyes. Good. Lauren was beginning to wonder if she were a spy.

  “We better not end up in the cellar,” Holly whispered. “There would be no way for us to get out now.”

  “That man better come through for us. If we risked this much, all for nothing…”

  Holly cut Lauren off. “He will. I just know it. He will.”

  ◆◆◆

  Every Monday morning, Giancarlo and Luciana called them into the boardroom to review the weekend’s work. The women always came in pairs, which Holly always referred to as the buddy system. “Sink or swim, we do it together.”

  “What can you tell us about Matt Kelly?” Luciana brought his file up on the screen.

  This was her opportunity to add information to the client files. Lauren took mental notes that she knew would prove valuable.

  “He likes basketball, specifically the Washington Wizards. His relationship with his father is incredibly rocky. And he works in finance.” Lauren bit her lip and tried to think if there was anything she was forgetting.

  “What did he drink?” Luciana asked. “Any beer or wine?”

  Lauren shook her head. “He drank an ice tea. I don’t know if it was because his father is so conservative, or if Matt really doesn’t drink. Either way, there was no alcohol at the table.”

  Luciana typed that information into the file. “The good news is, he must have liked your company. He is requesting your companionship again. Saturday night. It’s an engagement party for his cousin.”

  Lauren nodded. Matt was a nice guy. And the job was easy. Just a simple acting gig. She wished she had more clients like him. Maybe this weekend she would ask him for some referrals.

  “Director Powell won’t be needing your services again,” Luciana moved on to the next client.

  “I’m sorry,” Lauren looked away from Giancarlo. She gripped the edge of her armrests and braced herself both physically and mentally.

  “Don’t be,” Luciana corrected her. “From what he said, you had a hand in apprehending the cameraman. You did everything right. Unfortunately, the situation scared Mr. Powell away from our services for a while. But these men are all the same. He’ll be back.”

  That should have put Lauren at ease, but she was such a ball of anxiety that she couldn’t relax. She was waiting for them to say something about the man escaping. It was unsettling, as though she was waiting on an ambush that she knew was about to come.

  They didn’t say a thing about it though. This unnerved her all the more.

  Chapter 6

  Lauren’s heart raced. Was it a message? On the main road outside of the complex was an old stone railroad bridge that carried the trains over the road. Every time they drove under the bridge Lauren would look at the graffiti. She used to find it annoying that people would deface a beautiful historic bridge. Since falling for Julia however, Lauren had a soft spot for street art.

 
Today there was fresh paint on the bridge. It stood out, because it completely lacked style. It was novice. Possibly the work of a first-time tagger.

  In a large poorly drawn heart were the initials J.J. Underneath the initials were the letters GWU.

  She was convinced it was a message from the private investigator.

  Lauren had no idea what it meant. She hoped she saw it right. They were driving, and she knew she couldn’t ask Johnny to stop.

  GWU. What could that mean? Living in this area, the first thought that came to her mind was George Washington. Maybe it was something in Georgetown? Then it hit her. Georgia Whitcomb University.

  Can you take a sick day in this job? Lauren wanted nothing more than to cancel on Matt and race off to the University to finish unpacking this mystery. She knew that wasn’t an option. And though she knew it would be impossible to pay attention tonight, she did want to help Matt. He was a nice man who treated her well. She felt bad for him that he had to deal with such a difficult family.

  She couldn’t believe he did it. The strange man from the cellar came through for her. It was just a matter of time now until she would see Julia again. She decided that she better start figuring out what the heck she was going to say. “I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you, I was locked in a cellar by my pimp” didn’t seem to have the romantic tone she was looking for.

  ◆◆◆

  Teaching was a natural fit for Julia. She loved sharing her knowledge and experience with Dr. Everly’s students. Each time she was a guest lecturer, she would stay after class to talk with the young artists.

  Every class, without fail, Kate would stay after and do her best to monopolize Julia’s attention. It’s not that Julia particularly minded. Kate was both attractive and intelligent. She just felt bad, because there was no way that she would ever flirt back with Kate. For so many reasons.