Living With Him

by J. L. Ostle

  “Want to go a little lesbian on me?” I ask her, passing her the piece of paper and she laughs again.

  “This is like easy money for you.” I nod and I take the shot and then I walk up to Kendra, licking her neck and I go down slowly until I get to the top of her bikini bottoms. The room starts to fill up with guys as they cheer. I place my hand out again and get twenty dollars.

  A few more people start doing the dares and some I am happy I never picked, one person had to lick someone’s feet and from all that sand and spilled alcohol I’m glad I didn’t choose that one. One even said to flash their personal parts. I am laughing as I watch each person do a dare and then there are two shots left.

  “Who wants to do the last ones?” I raise my hand up fast knowing one is the one hundred dollar one. “Riley, come on up my pretty.” I giggle as I head to the counter. I feel the alcohol already taking effect in my system but in a good way. “Which one is it going to be?” I eye them both up and I close my eyes and just point and I pick the one on the left. I slowly open the piece of paper and I scream when I see that it is the hundred dollar one. “She got the highest bid people,” he shouts and people cheer or boo.

  “What’s the dare, Riles?” Kendra asks me and I read over the dare and I groan when I read it. “Come on it can’t be that bad.”

  “I have to give a lap dance to a guy.” All the guys start pointing at themselves, screaming for me to pick them.

  “At least it wasn’t a guy who got that, that would’ve be interesting,” Kendra jokes. “Who are you going to pick?” I look around the room and I spot Jackson watching me against the far counter.

  “Jackson,” I say without hesitation and he stands up straight. I see his eyes go from confusion to dark.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I walk up to Jackson, grabbing his hand and someone brings a chair into the kitchen. I guide Jackson to it and everyone is chanting my name and then Nine Inch Nails starts to play “Closer.” I start to move my hips slowly to the song, lifting my hands in the air as I hear Kendra scream in excitement.

  I walk around Jackson, touching his chest to his back and back to his chest again. I straddle him and start leaning back as I swish my hair around, trying to look sexy. I then stand up slowly with him still sitting underneath me as I sit back down and stand back up, slowly teasing him over and over. I walk away from him, moving my ass so he can see it, my fingers playing in my hair.

  On the chorus, I walk back to him and start moving my body back and forth, his head near my cleavage area. I start putting my fingers in his hair as I pull his head back and I lean my face close to his and start moving my body back and forth again.

  I walk away from him and go on my knees and start gliding my fingers from my neck over my breasts, down to my stomach and start swishing my hair around and swish it forward and then back again.

  I crawl to him slowly, opening his legs and I look up at him and his eyes are solely on me. I climb up to him and sit back on his lap and with one hand I put in my hair and grip on to it as I use my other hand to grip his shoulder and I start swaying my hips side to side.

  I am so into what I’m doing and I feel the blood pumping through me. The music is beating fast and I just start grinding myself against him as I swish my hair from side to side with my hands in the air. I feel his erection beneath me and I feel this ache building and I start grinding faster and then the song stops and so do I. My breathing is coming fast.

  I look at Jackson’s face and his mouth is shut tight and he is staring at me like I have never seen before. I see want, lust, and need. I hear people cheering and whistling and I quickly stand and guys head over to Jackson, clapping him on the shoulder and cheering him, but he is still watching me.

  I turn and head over to Jermaine whose eyes are big as he looks at me. “Was that worth the hundred dollars?”

  He nods, not saying a word passing me the money.

  Marilyn Manson’s “Beautiful People” starts to play and I grab Kendra’s hand, grabbing a drink on the way back to the living room. I down the drink and start moving my body. Kendra tries to say something but I give her a pleading look and she nods in understanding and we just dance.

  I start rocking my head to the song and a few guys start to dance next to us. I put my hands in my hair and close my eyes and I just let the music take me over. I start singing along to the chorus.

  I swish my hair to the guitar solo parts and when I open my eyes, Jackson is in front of me, moving with me. He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me into him. We start to sway fast to the music. One of my legs is between his and we just move from side to side. His eyes stay on mine as he grips onto me harder.

  I put my arms around his neck and I feel like I’m not me. I feel like I’m this confident girl. I like the way he is looking at me. I start moving my body more against him. He pulls me into him further. We are like this throughout the rest of the song.

  I wake up the next morning with a numb bum and I look around to see I’m sitting up straight in the bathroom with Kendra asleep on the floor near the toilet. I groan from the shooting pains going through my head. I try to stand but my legs feel like jelly.

  “Kendra,” I call out and my voice sounds croaky and she stirs. “Kendra, wake up.”

  She moans, sitting up straight. “I am dying,” she whines.

  “Me too.” I put my head in my hands.

  “I am never drinking again.” Kendra looks at me and then she looks around the room. “Why are we asleep in here?”

  “You were sick. I stayed to look after you since Jayce passed out on the floor downstairs.” Last night she couldn’t stop throwing up so I stayed with her to make sure she was okay.

  “Aww, thank you, honey. I need to brush my teeth.” She stands and looks in the mirror and groans. “I look like shit.”

  I stand up and inspect myself in the mirror and my hair looks like a bird’s nest. “I don’t look any better.” We brush our teeth and comb our hair.

  “I can’t believe you and those shots. How much money did you end up making?” I look at her and then at my cleavage; I forgot about the money. I take out the bills and start counting and I scream, causing us both to wince. “Two hundred bucks!”

  Kendra looks at me in disbelief. “You so rocked that party. You were the main focus. People were saying how amazing and hot you were.”

  I groan. Then flashes of me and Jackson go through my head. “Oh, God.” I place my head on the sink.

  “Oh, God, what?”

  “The lap dance—me and Jackson.”

  “That was hot. I didn’t think you had it in you and from the look on Jackson's face, neither did he. You two were like all over each other last night, minus the making out.”

  “This is why I don’t drink. That wasn’t me.”

  “Maybe that part of you is you. You were having fun and you were throwing caution to the wind. But I will admit, Jackson probably went to bed with blue balls.”

  “Oh, God, how am I going to face him?” I look at my reflection.

  “He is going to know you had a drink in ya, don’t worry about it. I’m sure it will be fine.” I nod. “Or after last night, he will go on bended knee, begging you to take him so he can have lap dances like that more often,” she teases and I push her. “Don’t, I will throw up on you,” she jokes.

  We leave the room and head downstairs and the place is utter chaos. Cups are everywhere. There is sand everywhere but luckily the couch has been pushed back in its place so we collapse on it. Not long after, both Jayce and Jackson walk downstairs.

  “How you both feeling?” Jayce asks, kissing Kendra on the head.

  “We are dying.”

  Jayce laughs at her. “Well, you shouldn’t have drunk so much. But, Riley, you were like a goddess last night.” He winks at her and Kendra nudges him.

  I look at Jackson and he is looking at me. I give him a small smile, which he returns. “Are you okay, kitten?”

  I nod. “I’m tired and
sore and my head is hurting, but apart from that, I’m fine,” I giggle.

  “Why don’t you go up and lie down for a little while?”

  “I think I will. I will see you all later.” I stand and climb up the stairs and when I put my hand on the doorknob, I hear Jackson calling up to me. I wait for him until he is in front of me.

  “Is it okay if I join you? I didn’t get much sleep.”

  “Of course, you don’t need to ask.”

  He takes my hand and we climb into bed. He pulls me into him. “Did you enjoy the party?”

  I bite my lip and nod. “I did have fun and I made some money, so I’m happy,” I chuckle.

  “Glad you had fun.” He kisses my head and then soon darkness takes over.

  “Riley, you need to get up.” Kendra is shaking me back and forward and I wake up all groggy.

  “Kendra, is everything okay?”

  She is shaking her head. “We have class in an hour.” I look at the time and can’t believe I have slept yesterday away.

  I jump out of bed. I have never been late for class in my life. I slept right through. I quickly have a shower, and when I come out, Jackson is dressed. I wear whatever is nearby, grab my jacket, and run down the stairs.

  “I can’t believe I’m going to be late.” Kendra is hopping up and down as she puts on her shoe. We all jump into Jackson's car and luckily we arrive on campus with a few minutes to spare.

  The day drags and when I get to the cafeteria, Kendra is waiting near the doors and I smile when I see her, but she doesn’t look happy.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She looks behind her than at me. “You aren’t going to like this, but someone filmed you giving Jackson that lap dance and it’s all over school.”

  I look at her with wide eyes. Oh, God. “Please tell me you’re joking?”

  She shakes her head.

  “This is just perfect.”

  “Hey, guys.” Jayce joins us. “I need to tell you something, Riley.”

  “I know, the video of me lap dancing is live.”

  “There’s more. There’s a rumor.”

  “Of course, there is,” Kendra says, rolling her eyes,

  “People are saying that you slept with Jackson at the party and I mean the dirty kind of sleeping.” Can my life get any worse right now?

  “What is happening?” Jackson heads our way.

  “A video of Riley giving you that lap dance has gone viral and they are saying you both had sex,” Kendra tells him.

  He looks at me and I look at the floor. A few girls head on in and I swear I hear one of them call me a slut. I look at the group and they are all glaring at me.

  “You want a punch in the throat?” Kendra shouts at them. “Vultures.”

  “I can’t believe they just said that.” I feel my eyes brim with tears and Jackson quickly pulls me into him. “I was just doing the dares,” I say into his chest.

  “I know.” He strokes my hair.

  “People think I’m a whore.”

  He steps back holding my shoulders. “No one thinks that, and if they do, they will regret saying it.” He holds my hand and takes me into the cafeteria. Everyone looks up and looks at us and I feel out of my element, I feel like I can’t breathe. I pull my hand away and I look at Jackson and he looks upset that I did it but people know I’m dating Dante and it doesn’t look good that I’m walking in here holding another man’s hand.

  We sit at our table and Jackson sits opposite me and soon Dante joins me, kissing my head. I wait for him to say something but he doesn’t. Has he not heard the rumors? I look at Jackson and he looks at his phone, not making eye contact with me.

  “He looks upset,” Kendra whispers in my ear.

  “I know.” I look at my hands in my lap.

  “Well, well, well, doesn’t this look cozy?” Darren saunters over. “Have a good party, Jackson? A little upset that I didn’t get an invite.” He winks at me. “I heard the entertainment was top notch.” He blows me a kiss.

  “Fuck off, Darren,” Jackson growls.

  “But do you hate that now she is juggling you and Dante? It must kill you that he is getting his fill,” he laughs and Jackson stands and punches him so hard that he falls to the floor.

  “Don’t you ever talk about Riley like that. She isn’t that type of girl. She is better than any girl at this school.” Jackson stands and walks out of the room and I watch him go.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  For the first time in my life, I leave school early. Jackson never came to class and I am worried about him and I feel guilty that I can’t talk to Dante about the party. I walk home and when I get there I saw his car parked. He isn’t in the living room when I walk in, so I run upstairs and knock on his door.

  “Jackson, it's me.”

  “I need some time on my own, kitten,” he yells through the door. I debate about walking away but I don’t. I open the door and peek my head in and I see him sitting in the middle of the bed with his guitar.

  “Why did you leave school?” I walk in and sit on the edge of the bed. I look at his face and he looks upset. Defeated even.

  “I just had to get away.”

  “Yeah, I get that. Does your hand hurt?”

  He shakes his head. “I’m used to hitting dickheads like him.”

  “So, you hit people often?” I look at my hands.

  “Only if they deserve it.” I look at him and he is watching me. “I wouldn’t hurt someone I cared about. I’m not a monster,” he whispers the last part.

  “I know you’re not. Do you want to talk about what is upsetting you?” I wait for him to reply but he doesn’t. I sigh.

  “I didn't like how he was talking about you. How anyone is talking about you. You are so pure and sweet and you don’t deserve any of this whiplash.”

  “I will get over it.”

  He shakes his head. “You shouldn’t have to. You should stay clear from me, I’ve brought nothing but shit into your life. I would let you go, but I can’t.”

  “You made my life better.”

  He huffs.

  “Really, you have. I want to stay here as long as you will have me.”

  “I don’t think your life will be better with me in it.”

  I move closer to him and hold his hand. “It is. You have made me laugh, smile, and because of you, I have grown out of my small little shell. You have taught me to be me, no matter what. I still have things to learn, but I am getting there because of you. You are my best friend.”

  His eyebrows pull in and he sets his guitar down and pulls me onto his lap. “My life has been better since you have been in it. My life was music, sex, and partying. I grew up with a loving mom.” He takes in a deep breath. I listen intently. “My mother loved me, I know she did, but when I was fourteen she left me. You see, kitten, my dad he …” he pauses. “He used to beat up my mom, over anything. If he was angry or if she didn’t do something right, he would hit her. He never touched me, but he took everything out on her.

  “She tried to make sure I never witnessed it but I did. I would hear her cries and screams and as I got older, I comforted her and she told me to never get involved as she was afraid he would turn his anger on me. She was a good mom. She would take me to the movies, take me out for pizza. She always had a smile on her face when she was around me.”

  I hold onto him tighter.

  “One day I think she just had enough and couldn’t take anymore and left. I remember her crying as she held me. Telling me she would come back for me. But she never did. She left me with him. Even after she was gone, he never hurt me. I don’t get why he hurt her but never me. I grew up hurt and betrayed by what she did and I promised myself that I wouldn’t let another woman hurt me, to break my heart.”

  “What about your dad, where is he?” I whisper.

  “He died of cancer. Karma, right? He was a monster and he died the most painful way possible. Slowly.” I continue to hold him. I am about to tell him about my past when
he lifts my chin up so his eyes connect with mine and I see his eyes full of tears. “Can I hold you?” He moves me so I’m lying down on my side and he spoons me. He wraps his arm around me and settles his face into the crook of my neck. “Thank you, kitten, for listening. For seeing the good in me.” He kisses the side of my head.

  “Always.” We lay like that until we fall asleep.

  I wake up again when I hear our door open and I look up to see Dante standing there, looking between me and Jackson. I am about to say something when he walks away and I stand up, chasing after him, calling his name but he doesn’t listen. He runs to his car and when I get to the path, he has driven away.

  Dammit.

  I head back inside and Jackson is standing there. “Everything okay?”

  I shake my head. “That was Dante. He just saw us in bed together. You know what I mean,” I say when Jackson gives me a look.

  “Do you want me to take you to him?”

  I look at Jackson and then to where Dante drove off to and then look at the ground. “He didn’t wait to let me explain so I’m just going to let him cool off. I have had enough drama for one day.”

  “Are you sure? He is probably thinking the worst.”

  “We were fully clothed and on top of the sheets, so if he’s going to jump to conclusions that’s his fault. I will wait until I know he will listen to me.” I know if it was the other way around, I would be thinking the worst, but surely Dante knows me enough to know that I wouldn’t do that.

  “I will back you up, if you need me too.”

  I smile at him. “Thank you. I just can’t wait for this day to end.”

  “I am still sorry about everyone gossiping about you.”

  I sigh as we head back inside. “I am starting to learn to not care what people think anymore. It’s too much energy and people are going to think whatever they want no matter what you do.”

  “Sounds very wise.”

  I sit next to him on the couch. “I am very wise.” He leans his head on top of mine and we sit there in silence.