Living With Him

by J. L. Ostle

  “Probably at the dress store,” I joke, holding his hand. “Come on, J-man, it’s time to show me off.”

  He shakes his head at me. “Don’t think I like you saying J-man,” he pouts and I lean up kissing him.

  “Okay, baby it is.”

  He smiles and kisses me again.

  “Are we going to leave anytime soon or you two going to suck face some more?” Kendra says, nudging us.

  “Fine, let’s go.” Jackson drives us the short distance and when we get out, the party is already in full swing. “Remember to stay with Kendra or be in my line of sight,” he instructs.

  “Yes, sir.” I salute him.

  “I think I like you calling me sir, you should say it more often.” He pulls my body against his and squeezes my ass, making me yelp.

  “You two make me sick.” I turn to see Devon watching us. “Come on, man, it’s time to check the equipment.” Jackson nods, kissing me one more time. “You are a bad influence, Riley.”

  I stick my tongue out at him. “Don’t be jealous, Devon, how can you resist this face?” I squeeze Jackson’s cheeks, making him chuckle.

  “Easily.” Devon smiles cheekily. “Right, let’s do this.” He jumps up on the makeshift stage and Jackson squeezes my hand and climbs up too, and I already miss his closeness.

  “Right, come on, Riles, it’s time to have some fun.” Kendra links her arm through mine and we grab a drink as we watch the guys set up and do a sound check. I smile every time Jackson looks my way.

  They start playing and Kendra and I start dancing. We stay near the stage or leave when one of us needs the toilet or to get a drink and I have now started going in with Kendra when she pees as there is no way I want to be on my own, especially after the last time I was here.

  I am smiling and having fun when I look across the room to see Hilary and Darren watching me with curiosity and I start to feel a little uncomfortable by it. I whisper in Kendra’s ear and she looks over her shoulder and glares at them.

  “I don’t like how they are looking at you. Make sure you stay with me and Jayce and don’t drink anything we don’t give you.” I nod and I watch as Kendra whispers in Jayce’s ear, probably letting him know what is going on.

  I am trying to have fun but every time I look up, their eyes are still on me, never moving away from me. I get that red alert buzzing in my head. I want to get away from them but I don’t want to leave Jackson’s sight. I know he will kick Darren’s ass if he tries anything.

  I am thankful when the band takes a break and when Jackson jumps down, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into me.

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  I shake my head.

  “Hilary and Darren have been watching her like a hawk, they haven’t looked away,” Kendra tells him and Jackson looks around the room.

  “Where are they?”

  Kendra and I both look up and they are gone. “They were right there.” I point to where they were.

  “If they try anything, I swear I will kill them,” he growls, tucking my head into his chest. “Once I’m finished with this set, we will go, okay?” He holds my face and I nod. He leans down slowly, kissing my lips. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

  “I know.” I give him a small smile. We walk outside to get fresh air and not once does Jackson let go of my hand.

  “I need to quickly use the bathroom. Stay next to Kendra and Jayce, okay?” I nod and he kisses my nose and heads upstairs. We are talking with my arm linked with Kendra’s when I hear a chuckle behind me and we turn to see Darren smiling at me.

  “You look good in that dress, Riley, but I think it would look better hiked up a little.” He licks his lips and I step back.

  “Fuck off, Darren, or are you after another beating?” Kendra spews out and Darren glares at her.

  “You have some tongue on you, girly, you better watch out or else.”

  “Or else what? You speak to my girl like that again and I will give you the beating of your life.” Jayce stands in front of us like a shield.

  “You men, protecting your whores. We used to party and fuck whoever and now …” He scoffs. “You and Jackson are pussy whipped. You both are a joke.”

  “The only joke around here is you.”

  “I think you should go,” I speak up and his eyes train in on me.

  “Why? The party is just getting started. I wonder what is taking your boyfriend so long?” He looks at his watch. “Shouldn’t take him this long to piss.”

  “What the fuck did you do to him?” I shout at him. My heart is hammering in my chest. If he hurt him, I swear I will kill him with my own hands.

  “Me?” He points to himself. “Nothing, but you should probably go check on him. Just in case.” I run around Jayce, heading up the stairs. I hear Kendra and Jayce yelling out my name but it’s like white noise. I just need to get upstairs. I open the bathroom door to see a couple making out and I apologize, closing the door. I start opening doors, apologizing to those in intimate positions and when I get to the last one I freeze when I get a flashback of Jackson having sex with that girl bent over the bed.

  I open the door slowly and I see Jackson and Hilary. Hilary is fully naked, her body pressing against Jackson’s. She is trying to unbutton his jeans but he is gripping onto her wrists.

  “Come on, Jackson. Let me have a taste.” She licks her lips. I wait to see what he will say. I hold my breath and I let it go when he pushes her, causing her to fall on her ass.

  “I wouldn’t let you touch me if you were the last woman on earth,” he growls and I open the door wider. They both turn to me and Hilary smiles.

  “Oh, look, sorry, love, I guess he couldn’t wait to undress me,” she lies to me as she glides her hands over her body. I walk past her slowly to Jackson and I see so many emotions roll through him.

  “Riley, this isn’t …”

  I press my lips to his, shocking him. “I know it isn’t. Darren tried to stir things up downstairs,” I say and anger flashes through his eyes.

  “I’m going to kill him.”

  I hold his hand. “They aren’t worth it.”

  “You see me naked and you kiss him? Are you deluded?” Hilary stands.

  “You are the one who is deluded. Like he said, he wouldn’t touch you even if you were the last woman on earth.”

  Her mouth hangs open and she glares at me like she wants to hurt me.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Kendra asks, entering the room.

  “They tried to get Jackson to cheat but it didn’t work. I guess some people can be that desperate.” I nod to Hilary.

  “He will cheat on you and it won’t be long until he is in between my legs, thrusting inside me,” she purrs.

  “You want to say that again, bitch?” Kendra yells and I stop her.

  “It's fine.” I turn and with all my might I punch Hilary in the nose, causing her to moan in agony. “I got this.” I shake my hand from the sting. “Don’t you ever go near my man,” I spit out at her. “Let’s go.” We walk out of the room and we see Darren walking up the stairs and his expression turns to confusion when he sees us all.

  “I will be right back,” Jackson says and he walks up to Darren, who has his hands up in surrender, and then Jackson punches him.

  “Come on, Jackson, it was just a joke,” he shouts, but Jackson ignores him, kneeing him in the chest, causing Darren to fall to his knees.

  “I think he is rubbing off on you,” Kendra laughs. “I can’t believe you punched her.”

  “Neither can I. It hurts like a bitch, though.” I shake my hand again. “I don’t know how you do it,” I say to Jackson as we walk around Darren, heading back downstairs.

  “Years of practice in hitting assholes.” He puts his arm around my shoulders.

  “Where the fuck have you been, man? We need to get back on stage.” Carl runs over to us.

  “Sorry, we had a few problems we had to sort out.”

  “Well, let’s get going if we w
ant to get paid.”

  Jackson kisses me. “Don’t—”

  “Move from your sight. I know,” I tease him and he gives me an amused look and heads back onstage and starts playing again.

  “Well, if there’s no more drama maybe we should dance and have fun again.”

  I nod in agreement. I start to relax and after a few songs, I feel like tonight starts to get better. I have my hands in the air when I hear Kendra scream. “Riley, look out.” But I’m not quick enough. I turn around to feel a sharp sting hit me across my face. It’s that hard that my body turns on impact, making me fall to the ground. I look up to see a man I never wanted to see again.

  To see that monster. My father.

  “Da-Dad,” I stutter. “What are y-you doing here?”

  He stands over me. “I am here to take you home,” he slurs and all my nightmares start rushing back. He is going to take me away. I feel him grabbing my arm, his fingers digging in, making me cry out. “You thought I wouldn’t be able to find you, but I will always find you. You should have left the state,” he laughs in my ear.

  “You get away from her,” Kendra shouts at him and he laughs.

  “Oh, look it's Kendra.” He then slaps her across the face, causing her head to turn and when she looks back at me, I have tears flowing down my cheeks. He hurt her. “Don’t put your nose in where it doesn’t belong.”

  “How dare you touch my girl?” Jayce starts walking towards him and my dad grabs a bottle of beer from the floor and smashes it in half, pressing the broken glass near my neck.

  “Well, she shouldn’t get involved in my business.” I see the crowd watching us with horror. “I am taking you home.” He starts to walk backward, his eyes on everyone.

  “Daddy, please,” I beg and he presses the glass closer to my neck and I scream when it pierces my skin.

  “Shut up, whore. You run away and look what happens. You slut yourself up. I bet you fucked nearly every guy here.”

  I try to shake my head. “I haven’t, I swear,” I whisper.

  “A whore and a liar.” He presses the glass in further.

  “Someone do something,” a girl screams out.

  “If anyone tries to do something, I will hurt her and then you. Just try me,” he roars out.

  “Get the fuck away from her.” Jackson pushes the crowd apart until he is standing in front of me and his eyes go big when he looks at my neck. “You sick fuck, how could you do this to your daughter?”

  “She needs to learn and take her punishments. She shouldn’t have left me,” he slurs in my ear. “Your mother is probably turning in her grave when seeing what her daughter has turned into.”

  I cry.

  “Kitten,” Jackson shouts when my dad starts dragging me away again. “Let her go or I swear …”

  “Swear what?” my dad interrupts him. “I would love to see you try, kiddo. I guess you took a shining to my little girl.” He pulls my hair back, exposing more of my neck. “She is pretty, isn’t she?” He looks at me. “Just like her mother.” His voice goes softer. “She looks just like her.” He shakes his head and he pulls my hair harder, making me wince. “Say goodbye, Riley.” He lets go of my hair so I can look around the room.

  Kendra is holding Jayce as she cries and I mouth I’m sorry to her and she grips Jayce’s shirt in her fists. I see a bruise forming on her cheek already. I look at Jackson who has his band behind him, glaring at my father.

  “Goodbye, Jackson,” I whisper and he is shaking his head.

  “Riley, no.”

  Tears flow down my cheek. “I love you,” I scream when my dad moves the glass a little.

  “Enough,” he roars.

  He drags me backward but Jackson and the band follow and I am pushed into a car as my dad climbs in the driver’s seat. I try to climb out but the doors are locked. I am hitting the window but nothing. Jackson runs to me, trying to get me out but he can’t. The engine starts and I scream out to Jackson as the car starts moving. Jackson is running next to the car, hitting the window and then we drive off and I turn, watching Jackson run after me.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  I sit there with my hand on my neck, feeling the sticky dry blood. I have spent years with my abusive father, doing everything I can in my power to make sure he never got angry with me but it was rare. I would get hit if there was a speck of dust. The bus broke down once and I had to walk home and because I was ten minutes late he grabbed my neck, smashing my face on the kitchen counter.

  My body would be covered in bruises but he made sure he did it where people wouldn’t notice or he’d blame it on a stupid accident. The only time I had peace was when he was passed out. I work my ass off through school so one day I could move as far away from here as possible.

  The day I finally had enough is the day I left. I have tried to block it out of my memory. I walked in after college to find my dad knocking back a bottle of whiskey. He was drunker than usual and I tried to stay clear from him, but like always, he came looking for me.

  He walked into my room, telling me how much I looked like Mom, he started smelling my hair, saying I smelt like her and the next thing I knew he was pinning me down on the bed, saying how much he missed her, how much he wanted to be close to her again.

  I was crying and pleading but he wouldn’t budge. I screamed from the top of my lungs but he wouldn’t stop roaming his hands over my body. I finally had enough room to shove him off me and I ran, but he grabbed my ankle, causing me to hit my back on the coffee table. I grabbed the closest thing to me, which was a vase and I hit him over the head with it, causing him to be knocked out.

  I ran to the nearest pay phone, calling Kendra, crying while telling her what happened and she picked me up, helping me gather the few clothes I had. She called her boyfriend, saying I needed somewhere to stay and it didn’t take long until they told me I was going to be living with Jackson McKenzie.

  My life got better with him in it. He showed me what happiness was. I feel my heart breaking, knowing I may not see him again. I look out the window, seeing the lights blur by. Memories of me and Jackson on his bike enter my head.

  If I knew my last kiss with Jackson was going to be my last, I wouldn’t have stopped. Tear after tear flows down but I try to stay silent I know I will be punished if I don’t. I am going to be punished anyway, so what’s the point I think sullenly.

  I am numbing myself when I feel the car get bumped into, and I turn around to see a car behind us, speeding next to ours and I see Jackson and his bandmates.

  They came after me.

  “Those shits don’t know when to give up,” my dad growls under his breath, turning the wheel so we bang into their side of the car, making their car lose control for a moment.

  “Dad, stop it,” I scream but he laughs. He drives faster and I keep looking out the window watching Jackson. I try winding the window down but nothing. I start hitting against the glass but my dad tries to grab my arm.

  “Get the fuck away from the window.” He swerves the car a little trying to get to me.

  “No,” I scream, trying to get out of his reach. I grab my dress, ripping some of the material and wrapping it around my hand. I suck in a breath, closing my eyes as I punch as hard as I can through the window, screaming in pain when the glass breaks.

  “You little bitch,” he roars but I ignore him trying to get rid of all the glass. Jackson’s cars drives up close and I watch Kev roll down his window, leaning his body out and I start to climb out. “Where the fuck do you think you are going?” He grabs my ankle.

  “Get off of me.” I try to kick him. The car is unsteady and it’s harder for me to reach out. “Kevin,” I shout out to him.

  “Reach for my hands.” I feel his fingertips but the car sways again, putting too much distance between us.

  “I would rather us die than you leave me,” my dad says in a deathly tone, the car speeding up.

  “Jackson,” I scream, my body is half out the car and I can’t get control
to move myself back in. The wind is hitting my face and I can see Jackson trying to get to my side but with the speed, it's near impossible.

  “Riley, look at me.” I turn to Kevin and he is further out, trying to reach me. “I need you to grab my arms in a minute.”

  I look at the road moving fast beneath me, shaking my head. “I can’t,” I cry.

  “You can. I need you to trust me, okay? When I say, ‘when,’ I want you to hold onto me as tightly as you can. I’m going to pull you to me.” My stomach is full of butterflies and I know if I stay with my dad I will eventually end up dead. I need to make a choice and not wonder over the what ifs. “Get ready,” he shouts and I look at my dad whose eyes are on the road as he tries to speed up more. “Now!” he shouts and I lean out further, holding onto him and he pulls me. Half my body is in Jackson’s car as the rest is dangling out the window and the car soon slows down to a stop. I am sobbing into Kevin. “I got you,” he whispers.

  I am pulled out as Jackson wraps his arms around me, holding me. He plants kisses all over my face, not stopping. “I thought I lost you.” He cries with me. “I told you I would keep you safe and I let him take you.”

  “You got me.” I cry harder into him.

  “Guys, we better go now,” Devon shouts and we both look down the road to see my dad is in his car, facing us.

  “Fucking shit,” Carl shouts and we all climb back in. Devon is now at the wheel and he drives back, turning us around so we drive back where we came from, but I look back to see my dad speeding up towards us.

  “He’s going to kill us,” I cry into Jackson's chest.

  “We are going to be okay.” I can even hear the shake in his voice. Devon speeds down the road until we are greeted with traffic.

  “He won’t be able to do anything with all these cars around.” Devon pulls between lanes.

  “I know my dad, this won’t stop him.” I turn and my dad is still speeding.

  “Your dad is crazy,” Devon swears under his breath as he tries to speed up as much as he can. We are going down a long road, our car getting hit again, making us all lurch forward. “Fuck.” We get hit again. We are driving so fast that I start to fear for my life and when we get hit another time, the car spins out of control.