Sorrow

by Brian Wortley

  Sara woke screaming. Val immediately grabbed her hand.

  “You’re alright,” Val yelled. “It’s ok. You’re back.”

  “Cold,” Sara said softly.

  Val found something to use to cover her up. Val looked into Sara’s face and thought she seemed older. Her eyes were bloodshot and drifting.

  “Sara,” Val said tightening the grip on her hand.

  “Explosives,” Sara said in her feeble voice.

  Val sat up and yelled to a nearby soldier. “Did we bring any explosives?”

  “We brought some of what Chuck had in his hideout,” he replied. “We left a lot of it behind.”

  “There is a building of white in the downtown area laden with black windows. This is where we make our stand.” The others looked at her intently now hanging on her every word.

  Several of the soldiers broke into the lobby with guns ready. The beast, realizing its mistake, swung around to devour the building they hid in. The men opened fire as it started tearing into the roof. This gave the rest of the company time to slip back into the downtown area. Unable to contend with such a thing, the men left behind were stripped of their wills. It brooded over them clearly overpowering their feeble minds. The soldiers, victims of the vile creature’s superior mind, ceased their assault falling to their knees before it. With only the fingers of its mind, the monster reached out tearing their bodies into bloody pieces. Stepping through the red mess of what used to be soldiers, the beast continued its pursuit.

  Through more precious sacrifice, the company moved back into the downtown area to retrieve the rest of the explosives from Chuck’s shattered fort.

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  Now the team broke into two groups, Val and Sara made their way to the top of the skyscraper while the rest remained on the ground level.

  Val and Sara found the door to the stairwell and started climbing. Only a few floors up, Sara stopped. Val turned around to find her clinging desperately to the railing. Val picked Sara up and started their ascent again.

  Before she was completely out of breath, Val asked, “So what’s the plan?”

  “I’m giving myself to it,” Sara replied.

  Val stopped.

  “Val, it’ll be ok. You have to trust me. I think I can walk for a bit.”

  They ascended in silence until Val saw the awaited words, “Roof Access.”

  Val looked to Sara before opening the door, “You’re sure about this?”

  “I am. I realize it’s insane but I know this works. There’s nothing else you can do. Please leave me. Get out of here as quickly as you can.”

  Val pushed open the door letting the dimmed sunlight in the dark stairwell. As Sara stepped outside, Val whispered, “I love you.”

  “Thank you,” Sara said turning to meet her gaze. Sara smiled slightly.

  "What is it?" Val asked.

  "You're still carrying that crutch. You said you'd drop it if it got crazy. This isn't crazy enough for you?"

  Val looked down and found her hand still tightly clamped around the crutch. "I completely forgot about it. I guess I've been carrying the thing this whole time."

  Sara almost laughed before the gravity of the situation stopped her. "You should go," Sara said.

  Val smiled at Sara and started her long descent back down the stairs.

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  Sara looked out across the landscape. To her surprise, the insanity of the wind had been calmed. The ominous clouds dispersed into patches actually letting in unadulterated sunlight in some places. Columns of light shot down across the city as if the sun reminded the earth it still shone.

  For the first time Sara was able to look out across the landscape around them. She could see the entire city and its surrounding landscapes. Almost every form of vegetation, except the most stubborn, had been obliterated.

  With Sara stepping onto the roof, the beast became immediately aware of her, casting up its gnarled head in her direction. Like a dog it crawled on all fours bolting towards the skyscraper. Without hesitation it jumped into the air and started climbing the side of the building. Broken glass and debris came pouring down to the street beneath it. Using mostly its arms it grabbed through the walls onto the main supports of the structure.

  About half way up an explosion shook its base. The beast hesitated for a moment but the building remained solid. It cast a quick glance down towards the street seeing several other humans dispersing throughout the city. But this barely entered his contemplation with his prize before him.

  Sara, under an intense feeling of déjà vu, drifted for a moment as if outside of time. For the briefest of moments, she honestly could not determine if the event were still to happen or already had. Before she could see its hideous skin, flames came over the edge of the roof ledge as if announcing the beast’s arrival. As if she currently viewed the future, Sara looked down to see the entire roof ablaze. Terrifying voices, trapped in time, seemed to echo all around her.

  The flames before her reached their full height as the terrifying creature’s limbs grasped the ledge. Soon Sara stood dwarfed before its burning, horrid face. It took all her faculties to focus on the situation at hand. She became aware of the beasts unmistakable presence in a brand new way. She saw, as it were, the tethers binding it to the world.

  Like tendrils the beast’s persuasive thoughts shot out from his brain wrapping around her mind, seducing it. Long before it had appeared, she felt the arrival of his will. Now that it stood before her, Sara crumpled into a weeping mess. Her mind barely maintained the strength to rebel against such a force. In an all-consuming presence, the likeness of which Sara had only read about in classic works of literature, the beast overshadowed her in its glory.

  Sara became acutely aware of the creature’s heartbeat. As if every throb surrounded her mind more in its power, she finally succumbed to his desires. The sheer power of its beady eyes horrified and intoxicated her. The last efforts of her rebellion slipped from her as sand does an hourglass. Wholly given over, she stood letting the creature intertwine its two hands around her. It lifted her up and she placed her hand upon its cursed face.

  At first she felt ashamed to admit its embrace brought warmth. She leaned into it and knew how deeply the icy winter of Brady’s betrayal had affected her.

  She saw, whether out of time or in the present she never knew, herself falling with time’s flames following. Falling. Through space and air. What she hoped to be the roaring applause of death welcoming her, she came to realize was nothing more than the rushing wind against her ears. She woke still in the creature’s grasp. In an instant the plan came rushing back and she saw herself like the rest of the company did sailing through the air in the clutches of a monster. His terrifying mind had been distracted by something else giving her uninterrupted thought. She glanced at the beast seeing that it had taken one hand from her using it to brace itself for his impact with the earth. This left her back freely exposed. Sara moved her hand to her back and found a cord. A yank on this deployed her parachute. The force of its employment ripped Sara from the hand of the beast.

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  Those on the ground shouted with excitement as the one falling object became two. The hideous beast helplessly collided into the ground splattering its wretched body across two blocks and snapping the tethers that bound it to the world. The collapsing skyscraper fell in similar fashion destroying every structure in its wake. Like a giant timber it fell against the earth shaking it. Val watched as Sara and her parachute disappeared in the cloud of debris.

  The rest of the company started searching for Sara in the rubble of downtown. As they approached the original building that fell, several of the nearby buildings caught fire.

  “Where did a fire come from?” Jordan asked.

  “Maybe a building fell on a car gas tank or something,” one of his soldiers replied.

  The flames brought panic into the search efforts. To make matters worse, the
sight and sounds of the collapsing building brought zombies from all around town. The rubble crawled with foes. On the far side of the fallen building, the company heard gunshots. Val and a few others went running ahead into the clouds of dust. There they found a very scared and exhausted Sara defending herself from several zombies. They found her lying in the bloody remains of the terrible creature. As she had struggled to get out of the area, Sara's hands and clothes were covered in the creature's blood. To see Sara with blood on her, sent Val into a panic.

  Ignoring the nearby zombies, Val ran up to Sara and began feeling her as if for broken bones.

  “Are you ok?” Val screamed.

  Sara felt her arms and legs again as if to be sure. "I think I'm ok. I hit hard but I don't think I broke anything.”

  Val started to calm down now that Sara spoke a few intelligible sentences. “Sara!” Val yelled. “We’ve got to start taking better care of you. I should never have let you stay alone on that rooftop. You’re pregnant! Your body is going through enough already!”

  “If you came with me, you would have died. What's the point of that?”

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  Most were relieved when Val came back through the dust cloud bearing Sara but Jordan seemed ecstatic. He obsessed over her and her condition.

  “Are you sure you’re alright, Sara?” Jordan asked for the fifth time.

  “Yes,” Sara said somewhat angrily. “Please leave me alone.”

  “That was awesome!” Chuck yelled when he saw Sara. “We just blew up a skyscraper! I’m coming with you guys. You are so cool! Do things like this happen to you all the time?”

  “More than I wished,” Sara replied.

  “You guys are like superheroes,” Chuck replied with a satisfied look on his face. “Do you think we could blow up another building? There’s another really tall one over there.”

  Sara loved his childish attitude and smiled at him.

  Connor came over to make sure Sara was alright. He walked with the crutch under one arm.

  "Val finally gave this to you," Sara said to Connor.

  Connor smiled.

  "I won't tell Val that you liked the walking stick better," Sara said slyly.

  Connor smiled again at her. "I'm glad you're ok," he said.

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  The company fought their way out of the downtown area and made their way east. When they came to the edges of town, they stopped at one of the larger stores to resupply. Val and several others went inside to check things out.

  “Sexy intrigue or regular antiperspirant?” Val asked Andrea, the only woman with her.

  “That’s easy,” Andrea replied, “Sexy intrigue.”

  “Eh, better do the antiperspirant. Don’t want Connor getting any ideas. Or anyone else for that matter.”

  A soldier came running in. “Val,” he yelled over the top of the aisles.

  “Over here,” Val replied without looking up.

  “You’d better come out here quickly.”

  Val ran to the end of the aisle and saw the urgency on the man’s face. She followed him out and heard Jordan making a scene. Val pushed through several people to find Jordan standing over Sara shaking her.

  “Tell me!” Jordan yelled. “Tell me!”

  “You want to know your future?” Sara screamed back at him and gestured with her head that he should look Val's direction.

  Jordan raised his head to find Val’s moment had arrived. She whipped out her side arm and callously fired a round through Jordan’s head. He died immediately and his body crumpled over onto the pavement to Sara’s right.

  Val casually moved to Sara to help her up. “What was that all about?” Val asked.

  Sara would not say but thanked Val for her help. Everyone around the two women seemed to look on them with deep brooding faces. Sara felt the weight of their gazes.

  Later as the company walked out of the city, Val came alongside Sara to inquire about the event.

  “Ready to talk?” Val asked.

  “He wanted to know his future,” Sara replied knowing exactly what she referred to. “I think it’s only the beginning. I shouldn’t have let everyone know I see the future.”

  “You didn’t. Connor did. One more thing we can thank that asshole for.”

  “I need to step back. I can’t be in any type of leadership. In fact, I need to withdraw altogether. I tried to tell you. I’m not like you guys anymore. I’m different.”

  “But I need you. I need your foresight.”

  Sara looked at her friend as if in fear of what she’d asked. Sara became aware of a rift growing between even them.

  Suddenly Sara felt a cold chill and pulled her clothes a little tighter.

  “Cold?” Val asked.

  “I’m always cold,” Sara said looking back to the burning downtown. “Maybe if we could stand by the fire for a little bit before we leave.”

  “You know we can’t go back.” They walked together in silence for a bit before Val spoke again. “You know, besides the damage to you, I’m glad Jordan did that.” Val looked at Sara with a sparkle in her eye. “I’ve wanted to kill that prick since I met him.”

  “Hmm,” Sara said keeping her thoughts to herself.

  From that time on, Sara became a reluctant celebrity in the group. From time to time, some of the soldiers pestered her to reveal to them their future. Val tried to keep a close guard on Sara’s interactions with them and intercept what she could. When Sara refused, she felt the pain again of becoming ostracized from the group. Eventually, Val finally put a stop to the requests altogether but the damage to Sara had been done.

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  Weeks later on a windy night, the company setup in an old ranch house. Even though no one saw any signs of enemies, Val appointed the two usual nightly watchmen just in case.

  Sara, feeling sentimental, rested her head on Val’s lap. “I’m beginning to understand,” Sara began, “so much more about Brady. I shouldn’t have let on so obviously that I can see into time. Revealing it has only caused pain. Brady guarded himself and his words so passionately. And we hated him for it. Now I know that hatred. Intimately. Everyone wants something from me but they don’t understand. Taking words directly out of the future and giving them to someone is like handing them fire. I can barely understand it myself and it doesn’t even apply to me. How much more will it overburden them?”

  “I will admit, seeing the future is handy sometimes. But it definitely seems like a curse to you.”

  Sara made no reply but turned her head to block some of the wind and tried to sleep.

  Because of these feelings of isolation, Sara regularly practiced time-walking. Usually towards the end of each day, she would sit meditating. With every new piece of information she discovered in the halls of time, she understood, even more, the sadness that emanated from Brady. The sadness lining the halls overwhelmed her at times.

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  Sometime during her second trimester Sara pulled Val aside. “I found something,” she announced with the enthusiasm of a schoolgirl. Val was glad to see her excited about anything again. She had been increasingly melancholy over the last few weeks. “I’ve been spending a lot of my time in the past because it’s so much easier to view. I always knew but never really realized how different all generations were to these latest ones. I knew we didn’t have working lights two hundred years ago, but I never really understood the weight of that. Cars, electricity, and indoor plumbing are all new. Most people’s occupations used to involve food. Hunting, fishing, and farming were the main things people did all day.”

  “It’s sad that you’re not teaching anymore!” Val commented. “With this new ability, you’d be the best teacher ever!”

  Sara mostly ignored her comment. “I think what I’m trying to say is that things were so hard. There was much sadness in their lives. Infant death was common. Food was scare. I’ve watched an entire group of people starve
to death.”

  “I’m confused. So why did you come to me with a smile on your face?”

  “I’m trying to get there if you’d let me! I’d been searching just the past and I’ve found it so depressing! But I’ve discovered a place unlike any other I’ve ever known. I found this door. I can’t even describe it beyond saying that the door itself felt like summer. It was inviting. I merely turned the handle and it opened of its own will. Behind it lay a foreign land. It is a mysterious place with high rocks and deep crags. The wind tears through the canyons at tremendous speeds. There are beaches of red sand next to a purple ocean that stretches out beyond what the eye can see.”

  Val’s eyes and attention started to drift.

  Sara continued, “I can think there more clearly than I ever have in my whole life.

  “It wasn’t until the third time I went there, I realized a startling truth. There is no passing of time there. There is no past or present or future. Everything just is. Always in one present state. I meditated there for days and returned to find no time in our world had passed. Although when I’m in the halls of time, time in this world doesn’t really pass. But it’s not the same. I'm always seeing things and getting new information. I can’t stay there without getting overwhelmed. But there! I can think! I can do all those things I never had time for. There’s a serenity there my heart has come to crave. I feel whole while I’m there. I feel… clear. It’s like my mind is unlocked and I can explore it fully. I’ve mentally peeled my brain back layer after layer like an onion and never found the core. I’ve sat on those calm beaches entertaining hundreds of simultaneous complex thoughts without confusion or interruption.

  “The stars - or knowledge maybe - are close and all I have to do is reach out to touch them and they’re mine. It’s strange. Everything I’ve experienced in those halls of time seem to be leading me somewhere. There are hints of something as if to come. It’s like everything there is begging me to discover something. The whole time I’ve been there, I felt watched but not in a bad way. It’s as if the universe itself were aware of me in an intimate way. There are so many things that I’ve learned and experienced there. I wish I could tell you them all. But most of them go beyond my ability to tell. I can’t even begin to explain to you what it’s like most of the time. You’d have to see it to believe it.”