by Mary Nixon
Tony walked into my room startling me out of my reverie. He clapped his hands and closed the distance between us.
"Did you have fun destroying my cars love?" He asked as he wrapped his hands around my belly.
Why was he unaffected?
He went down on his knees and he kissed my belly tenderly over and over again. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling. I was not immune to his kisses but I was not going to entertain him. I attempted to take a step back but he held me tightly.
"I hope my sons will not be as bad tempered as we are. I hope they will not inherit your thirst for destruction Bianca."
I hoped for nothing. I didn't want to become a mother.
He stood up and grabbed a robe wrapping it around my naked body.
"I have a small surprise. Come see."
I didn't want to but I followed him to a room that was in between our own. He opened the double doors and voila!
A nursery.
It
was amazing with two matching cribs at the center. It had a blue theme with beautiful furniture to match it. It was perfect... fully equipped and ready for use. I turned to watch him and he was smiling.
All these months I have been trying to get on his nerves but he always stayed calm taking his anger out on walls and punching bags but not me... the root source of his anger.
Did I still love him?
I was not sure... with all the anger and hate I was nursing I didn't have room for love.
Love is a trick played by the cruel on the foolish.
Tony was the cruel one. Locking me up as a prisoner and I was the foolish girl who got trapped in this cursed enchantment!
"Is this supposed to make me happy?" I asked him rudely.
"No love... nothing can make you happy. I've already accepted that. This nursery is supposed to help you realize you are about to become a mother and this is where our two sons will be sleeping."
I rolled my eyes and turned away from him.
"I have already told you over and over again Tony! I don't want to be a mother!" I screamed.
He rubbed his temples and for the first time he yelled back.
"Then what the bloody hell do you want? Tell me and I will make it happen."
"To be free from you!" I yelled again. "I want my life back Tony. I want my career back. I want you gone. I want things to go back to the way they were before I met you!"
James Lyons's POV
My heart ached. If felt like she had drove a knife through it.
I had tried everything
I possibly could to make this woman happy but she fought all my efforts.
"Do you want to have my sons? To raise them as their mother?"
"No. I don't want to be a mother."
Those words hurt more than a stub to the heart.
I placed my hands on her belly and looked at her in the eyes. She really wanted nothing to do with me and the boys.
"Okay love." I spoke in a defeated tone. "Hang in there for three more months and then you can leave once you give birth to my boys."
She looked down. Sadness crept up on her lovely emerald eyes.
"Tony, motherhood is not for me. I would give anything to be free of this pregnancy."
She walked away from me and left me alone in the nursery. My heart ached and so did my spirit. I love Bianca... I love her. How she could hurt me like this was amazing considering I was a strong man... Bianca had managed to bring me down to nothing... to reduce me to a fool in love... to make me hope she would reconsider her gloomy outlook only to leave me in darkness. I was tolerant of her madness because I was crazy for her... I was stupid in love with her and I would endure hell for her.
I left the room and followed after her.
"Love please can you at least give it a try? I want us to be a family."
"I don't want a family. I didn't ask you for a baby Tony!"
She had been playing on that line accusing me of ruining her life plans.
"I know you didn't but you are pregnant."
"I don't want them."
I sighed and reached out for her belly once more. It was the only part of her body she allowed me to touch. It was neutral ground.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yes I am. I don't want the boys. I don't want you. I want my old life back. I'm nothing but your prisoner. All I am missing is a chain to my feet and wrists."
"You wouldn't be my prisoner if you just cooperated with me from the start."
"I promise you that I will leave you one way or another." She said bitterly.
My patience had run thin.
"If you dare try to leave I will tie you to the bed and burn this mansion down to the ground!" I yelled.
"Good! I'll leave even if it's in a bloody body bag!"
She pulled away from me and walked to her bedroom. She banged the door shut and I just sighed at the mess I had made. Jacob was right, I had screwed up badly. But there was no going back.
My phone buzzed and I looked at the incoming message.
Jacob: I'm meeting a business man in Monaco in three months. Can I crash at your place?
Me: Sure although you may get caught in the crossfire between my pregnant girlfriend and I.
Jacob: You need to tame Bianca before she puts you between a rock and a hard place. How are you two?
Me: Like tornadoes and volcanoes clashing... see you soon.
Jacob: Just keep your temper in check. One of you has to be sane. See you soon.
I was losing a grip on my temper and sooner or later I would become as insane as Bianca. It's only a matter of when.
=================
Chapter sixteen: my life for yours
Two and a half months later
It was one of those mornings when I struggled to wake up. Bianca and I had argued through the night when she locked herself in the bathroom the whole day. I was worried that she wanted to hurt my sons but she only laughed at me once I brought the door down.
Jacob was there the whole time and he advised me to book her into a hospital and to get the twins removed even if it was prematurely.
He believed it would be the safest option for both Bianca and the twins.
The last two and half months had been pretty much the same although Bianca had turned down her madness by a notch. I thought that she was coming to terms with her condition but how could she when she was living in denial?
Something told me that her sudden calmness was like the calm that comes right before a storm. She was only two weeks away and I hoped she was fatigued enough not to fight any more.
I was starting to open my eyes when my bedroom door budged open and Esperanza stood there looking as pale as death.
"Sir Miss Bianca has just packed a bag and left."
"Where did she go?"
"She is down stairs sir. She wants to leave."
I got out of bed and put on a polo shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants.
I followed Esperanza down stairs and I saw Bianca throwing her bag in the boot of one of my cars. She glanced at me and got into the car before I could stop her. I reached the car and tried to open
the door but she had locked it.
"Open the bloody damn door Bianca!" I yelled as I banged on the window.
She started the car and began reversing it.
"Get me my bloody keys!" I yelled at Esperanza who handed me the keys to my Corvette.
I got in and sped off after her. She was already out of the gate and her car was picking up speed. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and dialled Jacob putting him on loud speaker.
"Jacob! I am chasing Bianca down. She got into my bloody McLaren and is trying to get away from me."
"Whoa! Tony, let her go." Jacob said in a pleading but serious voice.
"No! She's mine and I'm not losing her!"
"Let her go Tony, we will find her later. Let her go. Hit the brakes and let her go before you both get hurt."
"Even if it's to the depths of hell, I'm following
her."
This right here was my snapping point. I was officially on the highway of insanity that Bianca was on.
I hang up and called Bianca.
"Leave me alone Tony!" She screamed.
"Pull over!" I ordered.
"No! I am not coming back to you! Leave me alone!" She yelled and hang up.
I finally caught up with her as we hit the almost empty highway. It being a Sunday morning, traffic was low. Bianca picked up speed and I hit the gas pedal as well. I gripped my steering wheel determined to get her to stop.
Bianca's POV
I was done with being Tony's prisoner. I wanted my freedom back no matter the cost.
I had stolen his car key after he went to bed and I had promised myself that
it was today or never.
As I hit the highway I stepped on the gas pedal. Tony's car was faster than mine and he was catching up. My heart was racing at the speed I was moving at but I had to get away. After I hung up, I turned to my right and saw Tony trying to overtake me. I stepped on the gas pedal speeding off but he was right behind me.
I turned to my left looking for a way out of the highway when I felt a sharp pain in my belly. I gasped and that is when I felt a little wet. I glanced down sticking my hand beneath my thighs and all I saw was red.
I paJacobed
In that very moment, I looked up at the road and there was a speeding truck coming my way. I had veered off to the wrong lane meant for oncoming vehicles without knowing. I gasped and froze as my whole life flashed right before my eyes. I released the steering wheel coming to terms with my fate which would happen in a few seconds. I turned to my right and saw Tony looking at me.
I was scared... very scared.
He stopped looking at me and sped off ahead of my car by a few inches.
James Lyons's POV
I saw Bianca veering off to the wrong lane.
Was she trying to kill herself and my sons?
I had to think fast. From afar I had spotted an oncoming truck. I had to catch up. I stepped on the gas pedal and my corvette almost took off like a rocket. I was moving so fast I could barely see the road. All I saw was Bianca's horrified face when she realized she was going into a head on collision. I was right next to her car when she turned
and gave me a look that sent fear through my veins. She had let go of the steering wheel... like she had come to terms with her impending doom.
I must have been a mad man for what I did next.
That is how I realized that I was stupid in love with Bea Bianca Buchanan. That I could do anything for her... that I could give my life for hers.
I wasn't thinking about the babies... I was thinking about her. The woman I loved more than my own life.
In the speed of light I managed to swerve my car hitting hers so that she got out of the way as the truck that was also trying to evade Bianca rammed right into my car. The last thing I remember was a loud thud followed by my air bags hitting me hard and my car in mid air... hearing the screeching of breaks and then my car landed down on the road and then total darkness and silence followed.
Bianca's POV
As my eyes were about to close hoping I wouldn't see my own end, I was hit by Tony's car and I veered off the road as his car was smashed by the truck.
I suddenly hit my breaks when I realized I was headed for a stone pillar. The car broke just in time before it rammed into the pillar as my head was banged hard against the steering wheel.
I looked up and saw Tony's car smashed after it flew into the air and rolled several times. The truck had stopped and the driver was running to Tony's aid.
"Tony!" I screamed.
I tried
to open my door but it wouldn't open. I was bleeding profusely and I feeling light headed. Next thing I know, I was passed out.
Twelve hours later
Jacob's POV
Tony is so stubborn! Why didn't he listen to me!
I stood outside the morgue trying to hold a very hysterical Bianca from attacking the hospital staff. I had had enough of her and I wanted to knock her out already but I couldn't. I just kept her at bay dragging her back to the main hospital. I handed her over to the doctors who sedated her and she calmed down once the medicine kicked in.
I went back to the waiting room and found Cole and Ferrer waiting. Bruce came in a few seconds later.
"I saw you by the morgue. Where's Tony?"
"He's in the morgue."
Bruce paled.
"Is he dead?" Bruce asked.
"Part of him is. He's there with his twins." I told him.
James Lyons's POV
I cheated death once again.
How many more lives did I have?... I was unsure.
I stood on a crutch looking at the two babies on the table. I was still unsure whether this was a nightmare or reality. I was still unsure whether I had died or was alive.
If I was alive then I felt dead inside. After my car crashed, a man had pulled me out just in time before it blew up. An ambulance had come soon after and the only injury I suffered was a broken leg and a broken arm. Apart from a few scrapes and bruises, I was fine. The doctors said I was lucky.
I was always lucky. When a bullet
missed my heart by only a few inches and now another narrow escape from death.
Bianca had been pulled out of the car unconscious and bleeding. I had held her hand calling out to her to wake up but she couldn't open her eyes. I was scared of losing her at that time. I was scared of losing my sons. When she got to the hospital, they had to work fast to resuscitate her and get the boys out. I had been separated from her after our arrival at the hospital and taken to a different ER. Soon after I was patched up, I had hopped on my crutch like a mad man looking for her only to run into Jacob. The devastation in his eyes said it all. Someone was dead... who?
He had accompanied me to the morgue where my lifeless sons lay. Two more weeks and I would have been a father... just two more bloody weeks.
Tears slipped my eyes and I took a deep breath as I felt a hand settle on my shoulder. I rarely cried. The last time was when I was a little boy. The pain was consuming me.
"Hang in there Tony." Jacob said to me.
"Hang in there." Bruce said the same thing.
Hang in there... Where exactly? In my darkest moment? In my misery?
"What happened Jacob?" I asked.
"Don't do this to yourself." Jacob told me as he released my shoulder.
His eyes were on me but I was looking at my dead sons. I knew he was sacrificing his own peace of mind to be here with me
while it was a reminder of when he lost his wife but I needed answers.
"Tell me what went wrong." I was firm. "She was just two weeks away."
"They cut her open in an effort to save the boys and the first baby they pulled out was still alive but he couldn't breathe Tony. They tried to resuscitate him but as soon as he opened his eyes, he died."
"What was the color of his eyes?" I asked.
He paused probably unsure of whether I wanted to hear it.
"As green as Bianca's." He said.
"And the second one?" I asked still determined to hear it all.
Jacob ran his hands over his face and sighed deeply.
"He had an umbilical chord wrapped around his neck. He was awake for only a few seconds before he died. Doctors say his lungs failed."
"Did he open his eyes?" I asked.
"Yes he did. He had your eyes Tony. He had your eyes."
He had my eyes. I had already thought of their names. Bianca had wanted no part in even coming up with a name. She didn't want to name a child she didn't intend to raise. I had settled for Scott and Kenan. Scott would be the older one who was pulled out first. The one with green eyes and Kenan would be the second one with my eyes.
"Did Bianca get to see them alive?"
"No. She was passed out the entire time."
"Good. I hope it haunts her eternally to her death and if not, I hope
she suffers countless sleepless nights."
I was bitter... very bitter.
I leaned down and kissed both my boys on their foreheads.
"It's too bad daddy never got to hold you two." I told both of them. "I was really looking forward to it."
Silence dawned as I imagined what life would have been like if I had kept Bianca locked up for just two more weeks. Perhaps I would have been a father.
The end would have justified the means.
"Arrange a funeral for tomorrow evening. The little one with green eyes, his name is Scott Bellingerre. The little one with my eyes, his name is Kenan Bellingerre. Where's mom?"
"On her way from Brussels. She'll be here by tomorrow evening."
Was losing them worth the cost that came with chasing after Bianca?
I wished I had listened to Jacob and let her go. Maybe the boys wouldn't have died at the expense of their parents' madness.
=================
Chapter seventeen: Cutting the rope
James Lyons's POV
Jacob had stayed true to his word. He had arranged a funeral. The flowers were white roses suitable for the innocence of my sons. I watched from a distance as the small coffins were lowered into the shared grave. I was still on my crutch but I had left the hospital that night. I needed to get away from the madness. All the boys were in attendance. Cole showed up with his twin Coleen. Bruce and Ferrer came solo. Jacob came with Erma and his daughter. I felt envious watching Madeline in his arms.
Perhaps I was not destined to be a father.
My heart was heavy.
I was in so much emotional pain it hurt like hell.
Bianca was not in attendance and so I imagined she finally realized what it felt like to lose a child. Except in our case we lost two.
"I'm so sorry Tony."
I turned and saw Erma standing next to me.
"Thank you." I said.
"It's hard to be separated from your own child. I'm here of you need anything figlio. Ti amo."
She reached out and took my hand into hers. We stayed like that in silence for a moment. After the twins were buried, she kissed my cheek and she left.
Jacob came by still holding Madeline. I gazed at the little girl and tears laced my eyes. I had come so close to being a father and it got ripped away by my obsessive need to possess Bianca.