Unmatched Love

by Mary Nixon

Nathan was away constantly and that enabled me to move on without him asking questions. When I found out I was having a son, I got more troubled. I hoped with everything I

  had that the boy wouldn't inherit his father's silver eyes. If he did, Nathan would never forgive me.

  The months flew by quickly, Jacob was growing up and looking like Nathan with every passing day. I kept my secret but soon enough, my secret would come out of me.

  I battled with myself wondering if I should have told Nathan about Wayne but some part of me knew he would never forgive me.

  Just before winter, I went into labor. After almost ten hours,

  I finally gave birth to a baby boy. Nathan was in the room with me and as soon as he held the boy, I had seen the doubt in his eyes.

  A month down the line, he stopped holding my son. Something told me he knew the truth. He presented me with a DNA test a few days later.

  "Nathan, let me explain." I began.

  "Why would you cheat on me?" He had asked in a defeated voice.

  "I'm

  sorry, I thought you weren't ever coming back to me. I found comfort with-"

  "I don't want to know who he is." He told me almost quietly.

  I knew it was because he would probably go after Wayne.

  "How long have you known?" I asked.

  "Since I came home and you told me you're pregnant. The timing was off by a month. As soon as he was born I looked at him and I felt it. I had a DNA test done that

  very night. I've known for a month now and Erma, I've tried okay? I've tried to be a father to him but I can't do it anymore."

  I reached out for him and touched his chest only for him to withdraw.

  "Its Jacobolas and I or James Lyons but you can't have it both ways. Choose."

  A had to make a choice. I loved Nathan and I couldn't be away from Jacob.

  A week later I was standing in front of the Bellingerre

  manor with my son in my arms.

  Wayne was surprised to see me and even more shocked to meet his one month old son.

  "Why now? Why are you telling me this now?" He asked.

  "Nathan doesn't want him. He's threatening to take Jacob from me if I don't give Tony up. Please take care of him."

  "I will. But one day you'll regret this. What should I say when he asks about you?"

  "Tell him the truth. Tell him I abandoned him."

  Presently...

  That is the truth Wayne had told Tony all along. The truth that would make Tony hate me no matter how much I would explain myself. My heart was aching. My whole body shaking with fear.

  "Mrs. Bale, he's in. You can enter."

  I stared at the opaque glass doors and froze. Where would I even start?

  "Can you please get the door for me?" I asked.

  She stared at me probably thinking I was a snob but honestly, if she didn't do it, I wouldn't be brave enough to push the doors open.

  She did so.

  I stood at the entrance e taking in the sight of my younger son. His dark hair that was much like mine, his soft brown eyes and his olive skin. He was all me unlike Jacob who was all Nathan.

  I adored Tony a little more than I did Jacob but I wasn't sure he would forgive me. If he was more hot tempered than Jacob, I was in trouble.

  As soon as his eyes met mine I managed a small smile.

  "Mom! Finally!" He exclaimed with a big smile.

  He walked up to me and enveloped me in a tight hug that only made me feel worse about myself.

  I broke the hug and took a step back. He frowned at me and cupped my face.

  "What's wrong?" He asked.

  "If your biological mother was to suddenly surface, would you accept her?" I put it out there not seeing a need to beat around the bush.

  The look he gave me was serious.

  "No. I wouldn't." He answered plainly. "Why would I when she purposefully abandoned me."

  My heart stilled.

  "Even if she was sorry and she wanted to explain herself?"

  "There is no

  reason good enough to abandon a child. Its twenty eight years too late, don't you think? Why are you even talking about her? She's irrelevant."

  I was irrelevant. He was harsher than Jacob. I could see it in his eyes. Tony had always been the son who never forgave. Jacob would get pissed and get over it. Tony could hold down a grudge for a lifetime. He would hate me eternally.

  "Won't you want to hear her side of the story?" I asked.

  "No. There is only one side to the story. She abandoned me. Nothing more, nothing less."

  "But you had your father." I tried to reason with him.

  "Wayne was nothing like a father. He was brutal, mean and plain abusive. You know that already. I told you, didn't I?"

  He was clearly getting upset. What he didn't know was that Wayne was never always cold. I did that to him the moment I made him think we could be something only for me to go back to Nathan.

  "Can you at least give her a chance to speak for herself?" I asked.

  "No. Why are we even talking about my bloody mother?"

  Placing my bag on the table I slowly interlaced our fingers like I used to when he was a child. Raising my eyes to his, I took a moment to savour the moment before it all went to hell.

  "I love you baby boy. You know that."

  "I do. And I love you back."

  "That's why I want you to know that what I'm about to say will hurt. Its not easy for me to break your heart but I can't keep lying to you anymore."

  "Mom, what's going on?"

  "I'm the one who abandoned you."

  Tony narrowed his eyes as a small smile formed only for it to fade when he saw how serious I was.

  "What?" He asked.

  "I was in a steamy relationship with your father two years after I had had Jacob. I got pregnant and at the same time Jacob's father wanted me back. I didn't want to tell him that you weren't his but he found out and made me choose-"

  "Between Jacob and I?" He completed my sentence.

  "Yes. I chose your brother and gave you up to your father. I'm sorry Tony."

  His hands grew limp and he dropped them to his sides.

  "Tony-"

  He held up his index finger, surprise evident in his eyes. He was speechless, almost as pale as Jacob was after I told him about Tony.

  A moment passed by as he just stared at me.

  "Baby boy please say something, anything at all."

  "You're my mother. You gave birth to me?" He asked in disbelief.

  I nodded.

  "You abandoned me."

  "But I made it up to you from the moment Jacob brought you home." I tried to reason with him.

  "After I spent countless night crying my eyes out as child wondering why every other kid had a mother except for me!" He snapped.

  "Tony-"

  "Don't Erma. Don't."

  He was calling me by my first name. That was not a good sign.

  "I'm sorry."

  "Get out please. Leave and never come back."

  That is what I had expected. My father had warned me that the boys wouldn't forgive me and his prediction was slowly coming to pass.

  "Tony, hear me out."

  "Not now, please. I'm very angry and it won't be safe for either of us to be in the same room right now. Get out."

  I didn't need to be told twice.

  I picked my bag and gazed at him one more time.

  "I'm sorry my boy. I'm very sorry."

  Secrets...

  Mine was our and I feared the childish mistake I made would haunt me to my grave.

  =================

  Chapter thirty five: Explain

  "I can't believe this!" I exclaimed angrily when I walked into the manor and found Erma with my father.

  I had spent most of the night in my office trying to wrap my hand around her secret. I had come to the manor to talk to my father but now she was here.

  "Lyons, calm down." My father was quick to speak.

>   His fingers interlaced with Erma's. I hated the sight of it. The two people who had made me. One of them abandoned me and the other was simply a terrible parent.

  It certainly explained why he was always asking about Erma. It explained his unusual concern for her.

  "I don't want to see her. I need to talk to you Wayne, right now!"

  "About what."

  "Her." I answered pointing at Erma.

  "Don't be disrespectful Lyons. Hate me, disrespect me but show some respect for the woman who gave birth to you."

  "And abandoned me?"

  I had never seen my gather defend someone like that.

  "Aren't you still married to Jacob's dad? Tell me, how would Nathan Bale feel about this?"

  "I'm simply here to ask your dad to help me talk to you."

  "You've had twenty eight years to tell me the truth. When my brother brought me home to you, you should have told me!"

  "You were eight, you wouldn't have understood." She argued.

  "So it was easier to have my father tell me you didn't want me? Do you think it was easy for me?"

  "I did it for your own good." She pleaded.

  Bloody bullocks! That's crap I don't need yo hear right now!"

  I had lost all control of my temper. I was yelling, throwing my hands carelessly and looking for ways

  to make her hurt like I had done over the years.

  "Lyons, that's enough. Why don't we sit down over a cup of tea and talk this through like adults."

  "I'm not in the mood for chatter and tea. Is this why Jacob doesn't want you around? Because of your lies Erma?"

  Her eyes teared up.

  She started crying and I watched my father hugging her tightly.

  "What else are you hiding? Is Cheryl yours too?" I demanded brutally.

  "No she's not." My father interjected.

  "Who else of my friend's moms have you banged?"

  My father slapped me and I shoved him as Erma jumped in between.

  "Don't Tony. I'm not here to cause trouble."

  "You caused troubled the moment you opened your mouth Erma. I was fine not knowing who my mother was but you just had to ruin it!"

  "I had to tell you the truth."

  "Twenty eight years too late!" I emphasized. "I don't need this. I don't need either of you in my life. I'm done with Bellingerre Consolidate and I'm done with you Erma."

  I turned to leave and she grabbed by arm getting down on her knees.

  "Tony, please. I've carried this with me all my life. Don't you think it's punishment enough? Please, don't hate me. I'm sorry."

  "I don't want to hear it."

  "I'm sorry."

  "You looked me in the eye every night when you tucked me in and never once did you think to tell me the truth. Every damn birthday, when I sulked because my parents weren't around you would tell me that I mean the world to you, you still didn't come clean. Erma, I'm done." I spoke a little more calmly. "Don't look for me, don't call

  me, don't text me. Forget I exist."

  I pulled my hand out of hers and left walking into the rainy night.

  I went back to the office and drank two full bottles of scotch before I passed out on the couch.

  *

  "Pitiful."

  I opened my eyes and saw my sister sitting on the coffee table staring at me.

  It was bloody bright and I had a bloody migraine.

  "Two bottles of scotch? What the hell is wrong with you? Did you at least call Bianca?"

  Bianca.

  I hadn't even thought of her. I had been so engrossed in my own troubles I hadn't even thought of my fiancée.

  I sat up rubbing my eyes and searching for my phone.

  "Here." Cheryl handed it to me.

  I had over a dozen missed calls from Bianca.

  Without saying a word I grabbed my coat and left Cheryl seating there alone.

  *

  "Bea?" I called through the penthouse when I walked in but there was no response. "Bea Bianca?"

  I heard a movement in the bedroom before she appeared by the doorway in nothing but my shirt. The buttons opened up dangerously low and it ended way above her knees.

  "You live. Peachy!" She spoke.

  "I'm so sorry love."

  "You stood me up last night. We had a dinner reservation. I called you all night Tony. Where were you?"

  She didn't sound upset. Just worried.

  "I'm sorry. There is nothing I can say or do that will justify my absence last night. I'm sorry."

  She walked towards me and cupped my face.

  "You need a good shower, a good meal and some rest and then we can talk about last night. Is that okay baby?"

  She was being unusually

  understanding. The old Bianca would have gone ballistic on me.

  Our love had truly evolved.

  "I will appreciate that. Will join me for the shower?" I asked.

  "Go on and get started. I'll just tell the chef to whip you something greasy. It will sort your hung over."

  She walked away and I headed straight for the bathroom did adding my clothes until I stood naked. I grabbed my toothbrush and brushed my teeth before staring at myself for the longest time.

  I was Erma Bale's son. Jacobolas Bale was my older brother. Did he know the truth prior to their fall out? Did he want me as a brother?

  Questions without answers.

  Bianca wrapped her hands around me and I turned to face her beautiful face.

  "I love you. I need a distraction from my thoughts even if it is just for a moment."

  She knew what I meant.

  We ended up having rough hungry sex in the shower and we finished it up in the bedroom. She was feisty all through and I loved her wild side.

  When we were done, we were utterly breathless. I turned my head to face her and she frowned at me.

  "What was all that?" She asked.

  "Did I hurt you?"

  "No but I'm really sore. What's going on? You were kissing my belly like tomorrow would never come."

  "I was kissing my baby. No matter what, promise me you would never leave our baby."

  She sat up and closed the gap between us.

  "I've made stupid mistakes but now I'm more than ready to become a mother. I'm ready to become your wife and for us to be a family. I will never abandon

  our child."

  She brought my hand to her belly.

  "I promise." She added. "But you have to tell me what's going on with you."

  "Do you remember my fight with Jacob?" I asked her.

  "Of course, who wouldn't?"

  "Don't be funny Bianca." I chided with a laugh. "I know why he was so worked up."

  "Why?"

  "Erma had a secret that hurt him and I only made it worse by calling him out on it." I explained.

  "What secret?"

  "She's my birth mother."

  Bianca was surprised and I could tell she didn't believe it just as much as I struggled with the truth.

  "She told me yesterday. I was mad at her, at my dad and maybe even the universe."

  "I'm sorry Tony. You should have called me. I would have come over and stayed by you."

  "I know but I was so angry and I couldn't bring that around you and the baby."

  "What will you do now?" She asked.

  "Nothing. I don't want anything to do with either of them. I'm done."

  "Them? Who do you mean?"

  "The Berlotellis, the Bellingerre's. I'm done. I just want you and my baby, that's all."

  She didn't argue with me. She pulled me in and hugged me so tightly. I was thankful she didn't throw a fit over me sleeping g at the office.

  Later on we had breakfast but she threw up like crazy.

  After a long nap, I finally woke up late in the evening. As usual, it was raining. Bianca was not around and I guessed she was at the flower shop.

  I was checking for something to drink in my

  fridge when I heard the sound of high heeled sh
oes coming at me. I closed the fridge door and spotted Cheryl.

  "Looking a little saner." She pointed out. "After last night's drama."

  "If you're here to talk any sense into me, I'm not interested." I told her.

  "Far from it. Your reaction was much better than I had imagined."

  I stared at her blankly.

  "What is that supposed to mean?"

  "I thought since secrets are being revealed, I may as well reveal a few of my own. Three to be particular."

  I honestly wasn't interested in listening to any more secrets. I was tired.

  "Not interested."

  "I knew she was your mother." She blurted out.

  "You did?"

  "Yeah. She's the reason I turned Jacob down when he proposed. She's the reason I stopped sleeping with Jacob. She told me the truth a day before he proposed."

  "Come to think of it, its messed up. She knew all along that you were his half sister and she watched as he bed you every other time. Dad knew it too and he did nothing."

  "That brings me to secret number two."

  I downed my water and waited to be more surprised than I already was.

  "I'm not his half sister."

  "It's basic biology. You and I share the same father and since his my brother, it makes him yours too."

  "Not if I'm not your sister."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I'm not Wayne Bellingerre's daughter in any sense. After Erma told me about Jacob and you, I got curious and had a DNA test done. I'm not a Bellingerre. I'm a nobody."

  I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was too much. Too many secrets were coming out and I just couldn't handle it.

  "That's enough."

  "No. I need to tell you the last one."

  "What? You're an alien?" I asked laughing in disbelief.

  She wasn't amused but laughed nonetheless.

  "No. But I wish I was then I would take over the world."

  "What is it then?"

  She sighed and when she pushed back her hair, I realized she had lost quite a bit of weight. She had been away for so long and now that she was back, she was not the same Cheryl. She was less playful. A little more serious and too quiet.

  "You were right. The five year old boy is my son. His name is David. I've been keeping him a secret because I wasn't sure how either you or dad would react to me being pregnant at only eighteen."

  "You didn't need to keep him a secret. You should have told me."

  Her eyes teared up but knowing Cheryl, she fought them. She never cried in front of anyone.