Make Me Lose Control

by Christie Ridgway

  It hit her all over again. Almost a senior in high school!

  Maybe he felt her regard, because his head suddenly jerked her way. Caught, she could only remain still and wait for his reaction. But...

  There was none.

  Yes, his gaze momentarily seemed to take her in, then one of the girls said something and he returned his attention to the group. It was almost as if...as if...

  He hadn’t recognized her!

  She didn’t know whether to be insulted or delighted.

  Or what her next move should be.

  Uncertain, she turned back to the broccoli books, going so far as to pull one free. Her fingers idly turned the pages, though she didn’t actually absorb a single recipe.

  A voice murmured close to her ear. “I’m never eating pancakes that look like that.”

  She clamped down on the urge to jump. “Green is not a good color for pancakes,” she agreed, trying to appear calm as she shut the book and reshelved it. “Hi, Colton.”

  He smiled. “Hi, England. It took me a minute to realize it was you.”

  Her hand lifted. “I changed my hair.”

  He stepped back to survey her from head to toe. She fought not to squirm. “You look good.”

  “Thanks.” She shifted a shoulder.

  “You made it back to your house okay?”

  He was talking about the Seven Minutes in Heaven night. Though it still embarrassed her to think of it, she was relieved that she’d gotten out of kissing Sam. Wet sloppies!

  “I heard my dad calling me,” she said, shrugging again. “We had some people over.” London liked the sound of that. We had some people over. It gave the impression that she and her dad were a kind of...kind of a social team.

  “Do you want to meet my sister?” Colton asked. He was talking in a library voice, though it seemed as if this place was more relaxed than some. Even from here, she heard murmuring coming from the cluster of teens.

  Shay cast a glance at them. She could hardly refuse, she supposed. Hadn’t she just been happy to impress him with her social abilities? “Sure,” she said with another shoulder hitch.

  They walked together toward the group. “Amy, this is London,” he said upon reaching them. The girl he addressed was short and slender and she had braces with alternating blue and yellow rubber bands twisted around them. When she smiled, the effect was bright and sunny.

  “Hi,” she said, her expression open and friendly.

  She was reintroduced to John, another boy, Phil, and a girl who looked a little older than Amy. They called her Peach and she tucked her hand into Phil’s bent elbow, clearly laying claim.

  Colton gave the others a short bio of her and the fact that she’d been living in London garnered a few questions. Phil had gone there on a visit with his parents and had developed a passion for fish and chips. He’d liked visiting the Tower.

  When that line of conversation petered to nothing, he, John and Colton exchanged glances. “We out?” Phil asked.

  “We’re out,” Colton confirmed. “See you later, Ames,” he said to his sister. Then he gave London a two-finger salute. “’Bye.”

  She could only stare as he turned and began to walk off with his friends and Peach. Wait! she wanted to call. I came here to see you! To talk to you! Sweat pricked at her hairline as she struggled with the dilemma. Would she look desperate if she ran after him?

  But how could she let him get away?

  “So, how do you like living here?”

  Amy Halliday’s voice broke into London’s thoughts. She glanced at the girl. “Um...okay?”

  With another flash of her blue-and-yellow smile, she sat on the armless couch and patted the cushion beside her. “You can sit if you want.”

  London hesitated, torn. What she wanted was more time with Colton, but she didn’t think it would do to be impolite to his sister. Chewing on her bottom lip, she perched on the couch, watching as the other teens strolled through the exit. When the door closed behind them, disappointment swamped her.

  An elbow nudge drew her attention to Amy again. “What?”

  “I asked you about school. Are you going to enroll at Arrow High?”

  Still thinking about the missing Colton, London shrugged.

  “It’s a good school. I’m a freshman and I work on the literary magazine. Would you like to do something like that?”

  “Maybe.”

  Her less-than-enthusiastic response seemed to drain some of the vitality from the other girl. An awkward silence welled between them. London thought she’d die of embarrassment. Here was this girl being nice to her—Colton’s sister!—and she couldn’t even keep a conversation going.

  No one would ever want to talk to her.

  She’d never make friends.

  Then she recalled something Shay had told her the other day, after the salon. Look like you’re having the most fun ever. It was supposed to make people want to be around her.

  Ignoring another rush of embarrassment, London tried altering the expression on her face. Lifting her lips, she swiveled her knees so she faced the other teen. “So,” she said, “you really like school? What are your favorite subjects?”

  The questions might have been lame, but her interest must have seemed genuine enough that Amy began talking. She was a chatterbox, London decided, but in a good way. Fifteen minutes later, she knew more about the other girl than she possibly knew about herself.

  And they clicked. It was weird and almost as exciting as being around Colton, except it was easier because it was a girl. They both shared an interest in reading, the singer-songwriter Clarita and boys, though London didn’t spill a word about Colton.

  As Amy shared her plans for the summer and beyond, London felt the smile on her face widen and knew it was as authentic as her usual frowns. Had she made a friend? She thought so, and was feeling happier about it by the second.

  Until the subject of school came up again. “Being the new girl is going to suck,” London said.

  Amy was already shaking her head. “Nope. You’re my project now. By September you’ll know all my friends and you’ll have people to eat lunch with and you’ll probably recognize at least one person in every one of your classes.”

  Sophomore classes, London thought. She’d have to find a way to explain to Colton she was a seventeen-year-old sophomore. As Opal had always warned, even little fibs could create tangled webs.

  “Why are you frowning now?” Amy said, her expression perplexed. “I’ve solved all your problems. Next year is going to be great.”

  London couldn’t help but smile again, though she reminded herself she didn’t have to depend on other people to make her life what she wanted. Yes, it might be really nice to have Amy at her side, but London was still the captain of her fate, the master of her soul. When the time was right, she’d broach a few subjects with Jace. Number one on the list would be Arrow High School.

  Because it was decided. Vital to the whole entire rest of her life was going to school with Amy and Colton Halliday. It would suck worse than peas ever could if that didn’t happen.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  BECAUSE JACE KNEW he was destined to disappoint his daughter—and had let her down in the past—he found himself having trouble refusing her anything. In the past few days he’d taken her out on the boat on three separate occasions and allowed her practice minutes behind the wheel, which had surely sliced years off the span of his life. He’d also been persuaded to let her steer his car down the long driveway once, but she’d scared herself into tears believing she’d barely missed hitting a squirrel that had dashed across the asphalt. When she declared she was done with automobiles for the time being, Jace had blessed the speedy little creature, which hadn’t been in jeopardy for even an instant.

  This morning London had g
iven him big eyes while requesting the chance to attend the matinee of a popular movie in Blue Arrow’s small theater. As the alternative was spending more time filling his day by avoiding Shay, he’d readily agreed.

  Only to find out they were going to be a party of three.

  But that was all right, he told himself as they walked from the back deck toward the dock. The teen would provide an adequate buffer. And it wasn’t as if Shay had been clamoring to spend one-on-one time with him, either. Since the night after her date, when he’d brought her to his bed, she’d been keeping her distance, as well.

  Only something else to feel guilty about.

  On a silent sigh, he glanced over at the woman, sighed again. Complete avoidance might have been the better choice, because there was no way to ignore the beauty of the bright sunshine glinting off her russet-and-gold hair. What she wore shouldn’t be so irresistible, either, being just a T-shirt and cropped jeans, but the sleeves of the shirt were loosely knitted or crocheted or something, so they played peekaboo with her delicate shoulders. The same kind of crochet was inset into the sides of her formfitting pants, from hemline to knee.

  He should never have gone to bed with her that third time, he decided. Everybody knew there was something about threes...right? God, did three times establish a habit?

  It felt like a habit. An addiction. Ever since he’d walked her back to her room in the early morning hours—like some boy seeing her from his car to her front door—he’d not been able to get her taste and fragrance and feel out of his head.

  At the dock, he swung open the metal door leading onto the boat, then held out a hand to help London and Shay step on board. There were slips near the village where they could tie up for the afternoon, and taking the overwater route to the theater was the quicker option. Both females ignored his proffered palm and clambered easily inside. He released the lines then manned the pilot’s seat to reverse and pull away.

  There was more traffic on the lake than he’d seen before, signaling the imminent arrival of the summer season. People paddled one-and two-man yellow-and-red kayaks in shallow water. Stand-up paddleboarders hugged even closer to the shoreline. Sailboats navigated open water while powerboats dragging skiers and wakeboarders zipped by, creating wakes that scudded against the hull of the Fun & Games.

  “Do you know how to do that?” London asked Shay, pointing to a young woman flying by on a single ski.

  “I haven’t in ages,” Shay said, over the thrum of the motor.

  “I want to try.” London looked over at Jace. “I saw a water-ski school not far from the movie theater when we were out the other day.”

  “They don’t start operations until later in the summer,” Shay cautioned.

  He felt her glance but didn’t meet her eyes. Just another reason he’d been avoiding her. She wanted him to break the news to his daughter about their imminent departure from Blue Arrow and he kept procrastinating.

  Putting off the day when London would look upon him with new dislike.

  Once docked on the other side of the lake, he purchased three tickets to the movie, ignoring Shay’s attempts to press money on him. Then, snacks in hand, they turned into the theater, the stadium seating half-lit as advertising played on the screen. Fortune shined on him when their progression into their chosen row put London between him and Shay.

  The girl didn’t pay attention to either one of the adults, and instead hunched over her phone, thumbs hip-hopping over the keyboard. He glanced over her head and his gaze snagged on Shay’s.

  The small smile she sent him opened a wound. She was so fucking lovely it hurt.

  Tossing some popcorn into his mouth, he focused his attention on the screen. An ad for soda appeared and he instantly regretted forgoing that sixteen-ouncer he’d considered. Maybe they did contain subliminal “buy” messages as had always been rumored.

  Suddenly London shot straight in her seat. He glanced over, saw her attention was riveted by a group of girls rounding the corner into the main aisle. They were looking about, as if deciding where to stake their claim. One teen’s gaze roamed past London, then zoomed back. She waved, the smile breaking over her face revealing a full set of braces.

  “That’s my friend I met at the library,” London said. She glanced down at her phone. “Amy wants me to sit with her. Can I?”

  “Uh...”

  His daughter’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll be right over there,” she said, pointing to the lower row where the friend and others were seating themselves.

  Jace looked them over. They were the safer gender. He supposed there weren’t drugs and alcohol in their Junior Mints and soda cups. “Go ahead,” he said. “Just don’t disappear once the movie’s over, okay? We’ll meet in the lobby.”

  She was already scrambling over his knees, her Milk Duds in hand. Left with the tub of popcorn, he put it on the now-empty spot between him and Shay. “Help yourself,” he said, nudging it toward her.

  “Oh. You’re talking to me now?”

  Stalling, he took up another handful of popcorn and threw it into his mouth. Post-munching, he glanced over at her. He had no reasonable—or even grown-up—explanation. And it was ridiculous to spout dumb excuses. “I’ve been an ass.”

  “Something like that,” she said. “Blowing hot, blowing cold...”

  He sighed. “It’s just that...that I still intend to blow past.”

  “Understood.” Her expression gave nothing away.

  “I know I’ve gone about this all wrong.” Especially when what would have felt right to his horny self was to have her next to him each and every night.

  “Hey.” She smiled. “You seemed to do all right with the Big Bed O’ Chains.”

  Her lighthearted response eased him, and he grabbed up the bucket between them and switched into the empty seat. “I was feeling like high school with that space between us. Teenage buddies sit that way at the movies.”

  “I’ve always wondered about the practice,” Shay said. “It makes no sense that you can slap each other’s butts during sports but insist on personal space when the lights go out.”

  Jace shook his head. “We’re a peculiar gender.”

  “I’ll say.”

  He chewed on more popcorn, then regretted it, his mouth now desert dry. Without meaning to, he stared at Shay’s bottle of water that sat in the holder between them.

  “Go ahead,” she said.

  “What?”

  “You’re thirsty. We can drink from the same bottle.”

  He hesitated.

  “For goodness’ sake, Jace. We shared spit. We can share some water.”

  “Don’t bring up the sharing spit.” He shot her a glance. “Please.”

  “You’re trying to forget about it?”

  “I’m trying to be a gentleman and restrain my more caveman urges.” His hand curled around the bottle. “Belatedly, I know.”

  “Oh.” Stiffness drained out of her and she relaxed into her chair. “I thought...I thought you were maybe mad that I wasn’t the one to hold off or...” She shrugged. “Something.”

  Shit. He really had screwed things up. “I’m not mad at all, unless at myself. Damn it, I...I like you, and that might make this situation even stickier. It’s why I’ve been spending most of my days mentally kicking my own ass. I’ve taken advantage of you more than once.”

  “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

  “Shay—”

  “I told you before. I’m a grown woman who has made her own choices. And by the way, I like you, too.”

  Though the words sounded like good ones, he still had an uneasy feeling in his gut that he wished he could blame on the greasy popcorn. “I—” He broke off, his gaze homing in on some action below. His daughter and the other girls she’d joined were sitting in the middle of a row. London had bee
n positioned at the end so there were empty seats beside her.

  Now the one directly adjacent was occupied.

  He leaned forward. “Who the hell is that?”

  Shay looked over at him, then followed his glance. “Oh,” she said, a smile in her voice. “That’s Colton. You know, Colton Halliday.”

  Jace narrowed his gaze. “My daughter is at the movies with a boy.”

  “A boy happens to be at the same theater as your daughter.”

  “I don’t think I like it,” he said, frowning.

  “It will be okay, Protective Papa.” Reaching over, she covered his hand with hers.

  “You’re being the voice of reason.” He figured his tone of voice communicated he resented that fact.

  “It’s what friends are for.” Her smile lightened his concern.

  It could light the whole damn theater. The world.

  It sure as hell did something great for him.

  He shook his head, resigned to the blurred lines in this relationship. Friends. Lovers...ex-lovers. Whatever. Turning his hand, he caught his fingers with hers, keeping their connection. No longer concerning himself with maintaining distance.

  * * *

  LONDON BARELY STOPPED herself from bouncing in her seat in excitement. Her plan had worked! At the library, she had exchanged cell numbers with Amy. When the other teen had texted about seeing a movie this afternoon, oh, she’d wanted to go! She might have talked Shay in to dropping her off and picking her up at the theater, but she wasn’t certain about her dad, so she’d come up with a different strategy.

  Awesome.

  She glanced over to the empty seat beside her. Colton had been there a moment ago, a total surprise to her that he’d shown up. He was gone now, to the snack bar, but he said he was coming back.

  And he’d asked her if he could get her something to go with her Milk Duds!

  Though she’d said no, being willing to spend money on her was almost like a date, right?