Drop Dead Demons

by Kirk, A

  Subtle was not in my guardian angel’s vocabulary.

  “Where did you come from?” She did a little tap dance and ended with a twirl. “Not that I’m complaining. I love it when you visit.”

  “Gloria,” I whispered her name, but my volume quickly rose. “Where have you been?!”

  “Out and about.” She waved a dismissive hand before offering it to me. “But enough about me, how have you been?”

  I grabbed her hand and yanked myself up. Globs of gunk stuck to my bare legs, sliming down my calves because I was in some flimsy dress, although this time I had ankle boots to keep the ooze from between my toes, but then the slime seeped down my legs into the boots and the ooze pooled around my feet and…squish squish.

  I shivered.

  “How have I been? You are the worse guardian angel ever!” I stormed about in my fury.

  Squish squish.

  “Who do I talk to about this ridiculous choice of attire? Ankle boots in a knee-high swamp of that!” I jammed my hands toward the ground, then folded my arms in a huff. “Seriously. Worst ever!”

  “That’s a bit dramatic. And unfair.” She put a hand on her waist and cocked one hip. “Because honestly, who do you have to compare me to?”

  She had a point.

  But I still managed to huff with indignation, “Well, if you’re the best there is—”

  “I like to think so,” she beamed.

  “Then why did I just get shot? Oh, jeez.” My hands frantically patted over my body searching for holes gushing blood. “Am I dead?”

  “If you don’t want to get shot, then you shouldn’t go jumping in front of bullets.” Her tone was overly patient. “Aurora, I can save you from many things, but not from yourself. And you didn’t get shot, you were shot at. A significant difference. Besides, you didn’t need me. You handled it quite nicely.” Her smile was brilliant.

  “Really?” I flopped my hands around at my surroundings. “Exactly how is ending up in this literal hell hole brilliant?”

  Gloria pursed her lips. “Check your hand.”

  I raised both of them. One was clamped in a rigid fist. It took some work to uncurl my fingers.

  “Is this…?” I stared in awe at the small piece of metal cradled in my palm. “I stopped a bullet?”

  Gloria walked — glided — over. “No silly. You’re not superman. Or woman. You activated your ability’s defense and bounced into the Waiting World before the bullet hit you. It came along for the ride but it has no power here. You’re safe.”

  “Safe?” I went to tuck the bullet that I stopped — don’t care what she said — into my pants pocket but I wasn’t wearing any pants — stupid dress — so I stuffed it my bra instead. At least that was still there. “The Waiting World is not safe.”

  Gloria made a snort-chuckle sound. “Compared to being shot by a bullet it is.”

  Hungry howls carried over the rotting landscape. I saw several dark, hunched bodies in the distance creeping my way, their leathery skin stretched over skeletal forms.

  “Sure. Until I get eaten by ghoulies.”

  She shook her head sadly and sighed. “One day you’ll understand.” Then she leaned over to pick through the bodies.

  Ew.

  I gritted my teeth. “Why don’t you explain it to me now? Why didn’t you tell me I had a Greek god slash demon on my tail? Can’t you just go all ninja on Eros and get rid of him?”

  “All ninja?” Gloria’s laugh tinkled like wind chimes. “Oh, I’ve missed our little chats. You’re very funny. No dear. Limitations, remember. I explained all that.”

  “You didn’t explain diddly squat.” I slapped my hands to my sides because stomping my foot was just too…squishy. “Saying there are limitation doesn’t explain what those limitations are. Big difference.”

  “Because that’s a limitation. Oh, there you are my beauty.” Her eyes glittered with pleasure. With her thumb and forefinger, she delicately grabbed the tip of a finger bone from the sea of corpses and pulled. The rest of the hand and an entire arm slithered out with some totally gross wet noises.

  Double ew.

  Gloria kept her eyes fixed on the limb that had tendons and muscles hanging in a stringy, gloppy mess. “All you need to know is that I’m keeping up my side of the bargain. You’re family’s safe. Eros.” She made a sound of disgust, like a hairball got stuck in her throat. “Thinking he could get past my work. The hubris. Now, you’d better get back to the Hex Boys before they have any more of a fit.”

  “Finally.” The sooner I was out of here the better.

  I waited. She ignored me. Too enraptured with the grossalicious hand. It started moving, dead fingers grasping open and closed. She giggled.

  “Gloria?”

  “My apologies.” She stood straight, shoulders back, and using the hand not holding the creepy, half-dead arm, she gave me a sharp salute. “Aye, aye, captain.” She relaxed. “Now off you go.” And she went back to studying the arm, lifting it high, flicking aside slimy, hanging parts to carefully inspect the area that had been ripped from a shoulder.

  “Off I go? You need to fly me out of here!”

  She looked confused. “I don’t fly you—” Her expression cleared. “Oh, I see the misperception. Sometimes you can be very…” she thought for a moment, “I believe ‘thick’ is the appropriate term. A metaphor which implies your brain matter is too dense for intelligent thought to —”

  “I know what thick means!”

  “Oh, good, I got it right.”

  “Can you just vamoose me out of here!”

  “Touchy, touchy. Okay, one last time, my dear. She tucked me under one arm and whooshed open her massive wings — white with nautical navy blue stripes. As we twirled into the blackened sky, I refused to think about the severed limb she still held in her other hand, which I swear was trying to latch onto me.

  If I was thinking about it, that is. Which I wasn’t.

  “But remember this.” Gloria continued in a grand voice. “Only when the mighty willingly fall into the depths of their fears can they truly be reborn to the freedom of their greatness.”

  “Whatever.” My stomach was doing the queasy thing as we climbed higher. Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look… Heights. So not my thing. I swallowed down bile. “So is dressing-up a thing with demon gods too? Eros seems to like it.”

  “Does he now?” she said slowly. “Well, I suppose imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” She didn’t sound flattered. “I’ll have to find a way to show him my appreciation for his…tribute.”

  Okay, now she just sounded creepy.

  But I didn’t have time to ponder because she yelled, “Anchors aweigh!” and tossed me through the dark clouds and into a blinding, bright —

  Uh oh.

  Chapter Seventy-Eight

  Water. All around me. Dark. Frigid.

  I panicked, sucked in a short breath before I could stop myself, gagged, sputtered. Probably because I didn’t anticipate being dropped in the Arctic Ocean. What was she thinking?

  I pumped my arms and kicked, swimming toward a light. Not that light. I hoped.

  The light of the moon on what better be the surface of the freezing water that Gloria thought fit to—

  I saw some sort of movement, near the moonlight, then something blocked it. Despair threatened to join my already overwhelming terror. Then, suddenly, hands tugged at my arms and I was abruptly yanked out of the water and dumped on sandy ground.

  On all fours I gagged, threw up the water I’d inhaled. Tasted much worse this time around. Breathing returned, ragged, but steady, and a comforting hand rubbed my back. Through the wet clumps of my hair I saw the forest. The lake. Good. I was still in Gossamer Falls, on familiar ground. My head turned to my savior, ready to thank them.

  I screamed. Lurched away.

  Demon god Eros, still in that ridiculous pirate outfit, put a steely grip around my ankle and dragged me back across the sand. He jumped and landed the length
of his body on my back, pinning me down.

  “I know this looks bad,” he said into my ear.

  I think we’d skipped past bad to downright horrific. Pressure and heat surrounded me. A light flashed. From me. Eros yelped. His grip loosened. I shoved him off and kicked his side for good measure.

  “Ow!” He rolled across the beach, then sat up and rubbed his arms and chest. “What was that?”

  I sat up, hands out, but the power that had vibrated over my skin was gone. Nothing glowed. I tried to conjure back the energy. Didn’t happen.

  Crap.

  I felt kind of stupid with my hands out, so I acted like I was brushing sand off them and glared. “More to come unless you stay away.”

  He raised his palms in surrender. “I never planned to kill you. All of this is not what you think.”

  “No kidding. Eros.” I spat. “With you nothing has been what I thought. Save your sister? What a crock.”

  “It’s my wife.”

  “Oh, now it’s your wife.” I’d been doing a kind of backward crab-crawl away from him but paused. “If that's true, why tell me it’s your sister?”

  He shrugged. “I believed you could relate better to a sister in peril. Be more sympathetic to my pain. More disposed to assist. Conversely, you would see a wife as a threat and bear less inclination to help.”

  “Threat to what?” I looked around not so subtly for an escape.

  “My affections, of course.” He sighed. “When you fell in love with me, as all women do.”

  I snorted. “Fat chance.”

  “Yes, your lack of ardor was most unexpected,” he said thoughtfully. “Eons of precedent have proven my charms universally irresistible. My mere presence can incite the passions of those in my sphere. As demonstrated by the couple in your classroom. And young Selena’s amorous suitors.”

  I glared. “That was all you?”

  “Purely unintentional,” he said casually, as if the ends justified his selfish means. “Although, my presence has proved beneficial to the Lahey family finances.”

  “Say what?”

  “The townsfolk have been buying an overabundance of flowers thanks to my influence. You’re welcome.” He gave a short nod. “And now we will work together to free my beloved wife from her wretched torture inflicted upon her by Aphrodite.”

  “You’re a piece of work. The answer’s no. I’m not falling for—” I stopped short, my brain making connections. “Wait. Wife?” I shook my head as the pieces fell into place. “As in Psyche?”

  “Just like in your mythology books.” He fiddled with the lacy cuffs of his puffy-sleeved shirt. “Only Psyche is no mere mortal. She was Mandatum. A hunter.”

  “Okay, now you’re just talking crazy.”

  “Yes.” His smile turned wistful. “It was crazy. Which is why I acquiesced to my mother’s lies. But love doesn’t always make sense. I, of all people, should know that.” He closed his eyes briefly. “I was a fool then but no more. You can help me make it right, little dove. When Aphrodite tricked Psyche into Hades to win me back, she never escaped. No happy ending like the myth. I’ve been trying to rescue her for centuries. You’re her only chance, Aurora. Please.”

  I sucked in a long breath and knew what I needed to do. “Okay.”

  Eros jerked, his face contorting in surprise. “Okay?”

  “With all of hell gunning for me, I’m not missing the chance for a demon god to owe me one. Big time. Help me up.” I extended a hand.

  Eros smiled, relief relaxing his frame as he closed the distance and towered over me.

  I focused, tried to get my outstretched hand to glow again, but felt nothing.

  Plan B it was.

  I threw a fistful of sand in his face. Eros blocked with an arm, but too late. He cried out and reeled back. I kicked out his ankles. He thumped down. I jumped up and took off into the forest.

  Eros liked to morph his sob story into something that seduced out my sympathy. Not this time. Fool me once, and all that jazz. My only regret was that I hadn’t blasted him. No, my powers only got into gear to burn-up my unburnable boyfriend. Typical.

  “Ayden!” I screamed and launched over some prickly bushes. “Fido!”

  “They’re too far away,” Eros’s voice came from just ahead.

  I skidded to a stop, dead leaves and dirt flying. Couldn’t see him. I backed up against a tree.

  When Eros spoke, he sounded closer. “Our time is limited. You must listen.”

  I sprinted at an angle for the beach. A few strides would have me on sand. The lake lapped at the shore, the moon’s reflection dancing on the dark surface. I thought about rainbows and puppies and took a couple of calming breaths trying to suck in some energy.

  “Running won’t help any of us.” Eros sounded well behind me. “Aphrodite wants the Nex as her pet and she is relentless. I’m not the first she has sent. Fiskick, hired by the Mandatum traitor to kill you, was secretly working for my mother and tasked with retrieving you for her.”

  Hmmm. Memories of another abduction attempt were not helping my puppy and butterflies vibe.

  I was steps away from the beach when he appeared immediately in front of me. I darted sideways, stumbling onto one knee, recovered and huddled behind a tree. I wiped a line of sweat from my brow and glanced around. Eros stood far across the sand at the water’s edge, arms crossed over his chest. He wasn’t even breathing hard.

  “When Fiskick disappeared, I’m sure courtesy of you and the Hex Boys, she turned to me,” he said. “I only agreed to help her because she promised to rescue Psyche. It’s what she does. She’ll leverage your family, the boys, whatever it takes until you have no choice but to do her bidding. You’ll help her build her army of demons, then destroy the Mandatum, and the world.”

  I knew I’d go to the ends of the Earth to protect my family. But would I be willing to end the Earth? To end humanity? Or enslave it to the likes of demons?

  “And if I don’t?” I said.

  “Then she will kill you.”

  Yeah. Kinda figured.

  “As long as she resides in this world, you and all you love are not safe,” he said. “Get the stone. Get my wife. And I will help you be rid of her forever.” He turned and looked straight in my direction with eyes that so many through the ages have found irresistible. “I have a plan.”

  So did I. Hunched low, I slunk in the direction I was pretty sure Logan’s car was parked. And hopefully, close by was a battle-scarred, trigger-happy Irishman who I could use as a human shield while he dealt with this mythological madness.

  Hey, I didn’t say it was a long-range plan. At this point, just making it to homeroom tomorrow would be a cause for celebration. Until it was time to turn in homework. Man, I was never going to be a senior.

  A cloud exploded in front of me. Before I could back-peddle, Eros grabbed my hand. Something scraped my finger. I slammed an open palm at his nose. He jumped back before impact, hands up in supplication.

  I stared at the ring he’d shoved onto my finger. The metal band hummed against my skin and beams of light suddenly shot out from the oval stone. Strength surged up my arm. Not good. I think.

  “What is that!” I yanked off the ring and threw it onto the sand.

  Once off my finger, the stone stopped the light-up routine but still glowed. Big as an egg, it shimmered with iridescent blues, greens, and dark pinks, stunning in their beauty, swirling through the jewel as if it held a complete galaxy within. Sparkling stars, shooting comets, twinkling planets, brilliant suns, and spirals of effervescence.

  “It is yet another show of good faith.” Eros kept his distance. “It gives you great power. Just what every Divinicus needs. Similar to the stone you must find but…different. Take it with you to the treasure. It should help you locate the stone we require. They share a connection.”

  I pointed to the ring. “When you do surprise stunts like this, I don’t trust you! Besides, why would you help me?”

  “Because it helps me.”r />
  “Now that makes sense.”

  “Aphrodite is a monster. I care not to be enslaved to her any more than you wish to be enslaved by the Mandatum.” His gloved hands curled into fists. “What do I care about armies and ruling the world? I am not the God of War.”

  “All you do is lie, threaten, and manipulate.” I backed for the beach thinking making a swim for it would be better than trying to outrun Eros in the forest. “And since when have you shown a sign of good faith?”

  “I led you to the treasure. I’ve kept the traitor and their demons at bay while I’ve warned you of the coming disaster. And…and…I kidnapped Jayden!”

  “Kidnapped?” I blinked. “That’s something the villain would do!”

  Eros glanced into the woods. “We haven’t time for me to explain all I have done or the intricacies involved. You must trust me.”

  “No I mustn’t.” I shot back.

  “Then believe this.” His eyes of green jade glittered with desperation and fear. “If we do not find that stone before Artemis and Aphrodite arrive, it’s over. For all of us.”

  “Whoa.” I stepped back. “Who said anything about Artemis? And her and Aphrodite together, isn’t that—”

  “Apocalyptic? You have no idea.” He cocked his head, listening, then turned and shouted into the forest. “Over here, lover boy!”

  Crashing sounds, then Ayden burst from the forest onto the beach.

  Chapter Seventy-Nine

  In one swoop, Ayden lit up his arms and blasted them like flamethrowers. Eros poofed out of sight and popped up yards away, safe, unscathed.

  Ayden kept firing as he raced across the sand to stand in front of me, facing Eros who had evaded every shot by teleporting all over the beach. Poof, poof, poof.

  “You alright? Did he hurt you?” Ayden asked over his shoulder. “When you disappeared with Fido, I thought you were shot.”

  “Me too, but I’m fine. Long story.” I was still tingly from the ring. Part of me wanted to grab it and get some power pulsing through my body, but the part that didn’t trust Eros or anything he gave me won out. “But Eros didn’t hurt me.”