A Good Liar

by Ruth Sutton

  ‘Who’s that?’ Andrew’s voice echoed off the hard slate walls of the yard. He started to walk across towards her, carrying the lamp high. She looked into the light.

  ‘Jess?’ he said, stopping a few yards from her. ‘Jess? What are you doing here, lass, sitting in the dark? It’s bloody cold out here, come away in. I’ve lit a fire.’

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘I can’t. I can’t.’ Her voice tailed away. The words she’d rehearsed turned to dust in her mouth.

  ‘For God’s sake, lass, just get in here before you freeze,’ he said, moving forward again, holding out his hand to her. Jessie stood, still leaning back against the wall, feeling the edge of the bench behind her legs. Before he reached her she twisted away from him.

  ‘Don’t play silly buggers, for God’s sake,’ he said, his voice quieter now. ‘I won’t hurt you. Just come away in and sit a while. It’s good to see you, but it’s been a sod of a day and I can’t be arsed flitting about like this. We can have a drink, there’s some whisky somewhere.’

  ‘No,’ she said again. ‘You said before that you wouldn’t hurt me, but you did.’

  ‘What’re you on about?’ he said. ‘Are you coming in, or not?’

  She hesitated. She could see him clearly now in the light from his lamp that he still held up at shoulder height. She couldn’t see what he was thinking. Was it possible that he did not remember that night? He’d hurt her, whether he’d meant to or not. She knew that she should stand her ground, or walk away, but instead she stepped carefully round him, out of reach, and across to the open door of the house. As he followed her, the shadow sharpened across the cobbled ground. She was not afraid of him now. He was sober and calm and she was certain he would not hurt her. She would tell him about Phyllis and then decide what else to say. They were adults after all.

  Inside the depressing house she heard the crackle of the fire to her left and walked towards the glow. The room was almost bare of furniture, just a table covered with a newspaper in the centre and one chair next to it. How could he live like this? She took off her hat and shook her head, put the hat in her pocket and held out her hands to the fire as she heard the door close and his footsteps. She turned quickly to face him.

  ‘Stay there,’ she said. ‘Just listen to me. Don’t come any nearer.’

  ‘All right, lass, if you say so. Grand to see you. Best thing I’ve seen today, that’s for sure.’

  ‘Stop,’ she said. ‘Don’t say any more. I have to say some things and then you can talk.’

  He smiled. ‘Well, it’s the schoolteacher again, haven’t seen her for a bit.’ He moved a step towards the fire, but then stopped, seeing her face. He hung the lamp on a hook at the end of the mantelpiece and it swung there, shadows bending and curving around the bare room. ‘Go on then,’ he said. ‘Get on with it, whatever you’re trying to say.’

  ‘I went to see Phyllis, up at the Hall,’ said Jessie, watching Andrew’s face intently, lit by both the fire and the swaying lamp. The smile hardened.

  ‘Phyllis who?’ he said.

  ‘You know Phyllis,’ said Jessie. ‘She told us, about what happened the night Alice was drowned.’

  ‘Whatever she said, she’s a lying bitch,’ he said. ‘Always has been. You know that, you had her in school, and that Alice, too. Couple of silly tarts, the pair of them.’

  ‘One of them’s dead,’ said Jessie. ‘Drowned like a rat. And you were there. Phyllis told us. You were at the dance, that night in May.’

  ‘Aye, I was,’ said Andrew, less relaxed now, ‘and so were plenty of other folk.’

  ‘Phyllis said that Alice wanted to talk to you, and that was the last anyone saw of her.’

  For a moment Andrew stared at her, then looked away. He ran a hand through his hair, then reached for the mantelpiece and leaned against it. It was a few moments before he spoke again. Jessie watched him carefully.

  ‘Alright,’ he said finally, ‘So I was there. Alice Kitchin was a stupid girl who thought I’d fall for the oldest trick in the book.’

  Jessie interrupted. ‘She told you she was expecting, didn’t she?’

  ‘Aye she did, must think I’m a real fool. Some silly girl says she’s knocked up and what am I going to do about it. All right, I’d had her, but me and a few others. She didn’t want the useless boys she’d laid down for and decided to have a go at me. Well I’m no fool and I told her so.’

  ‘So you did see her, after the dance.’

  ‘Aye, I saw her. That lying bitch Phyllis set it up.’

  ‘Where did you meet her?’

  ‘Where she said, on the path by the river. Bloody silly place. It had rained for hours, path was slippery as hell. I had the dogs with me. I knew she was feared of them, but that wasn’t why … I just had them out, on a rope like, not loose. I had no idea …’

  They stood facing each other, the fire between them. Jessie wanted to stop, to sit down and talk to him like she used to, but she could not, would not, not now.

  She said nothing, and he went on.

  ‘She started shouting. Said she was late like, and the bairn was mine and she was going to tell her dad and he would make me marry her. Dogs were fretting when she started shouting, then they pulled towards her, barking, and she backed up quick and slipped and went down the bank. Just like that, she was gone. The dogs were carrying on something fierce. It was pitch black, no moon. River was in flood. Caught a glimpse of her, the white of her face, heard her screaming but she went down and there was nothing, nothing to see. I ran, further downstream, but what with the water and the wind I couldn’t hear her. Nothing I could do, Jess. That’s how it was. She was gone, nothing I could do.’

  He looked at her. ‘So now you know,’ he said, running his hand though his hair again. ‘I’m not lying to you. It was an accident.’

  ‘So why didn’t you say anything, tell anybody? You have no idea what poor Nellie went through. When we went up to the Hall …’

  Andrew looked up sharply. ‘Who went to the Hall? Who was with you?’

  ‘Nellie,’ said Jessie. ‘Nellie Kitchin.’

  ‘Christ, woman,’ he said, twisting away from the mantelpiece. ‘What does Nellie think?’

  ‘That you got Alice pregnant and then pushed her into the river to shut her up. What else could she think after what Phyllis said.’

  ‘But she must know Phyllis is a liar.’

  ‘Maybe, but Nellie lost her daughter and she wants someone to blame.’

  Andrew looked up at the ceiling of the dismal room. ‘Oh God,’ he said quietly. ‘She’ll have told him. Bill Kitchin is a wrong ‘un. He’ll come after me.’

  ‘I asked her not to tell him, until we were sure.’

  Andrew snorted. He knew there was little chance that Nellie would keep this to herself. He leaned forward towards Jessie, more urgency in his voice.

  ‘When was this, when did you go up there?’

  ‘Yesterday,’ said Jessie. ‘I told you. Nellie and I talked after we’d seen Phyllis and she agreed not to say anything to Bill until we’d seen the constable, after Christmas.’

  ‘He’ll kill me,’ said Andrew. He caught Jessie’s expression. ‘Bill, you know what he’s like. He’ll come after me. Could be coming right now.’

  ‘Is that all you can say?’ Jessie was shocked. ‘You watched a girl die, and all you’re bothered about is her father coming after you?’

  ‘I’ve been through all that, months ago. She was gone, nothing more I could do. No point in making it worse. Nobody knew anything about the bairn, if there was one. No gain in raking that up. So I kept quiet, better for everyone. And now it’ll all come out. Why couldn’t you just keep your nose out of it?’

  ‘I knew about the bairn, too,’ said Jessie. ‘Alice came to see me. She told me she was expecting and wanted me to help. I urged her to tell her mother, but she knew what her father would do if he found out. You can’t blame me for this mess.’

  She paced across the small room, suddenly furious with h
im, then turned back to face him. ‘Look at you, feeling so sorry for yourself. You can’t keep your hands off, can you? I saw you, that night at the Bower House, looking those girls up and down like slabs of meat.’

  ‘I told you,’ he said, ‘It wasn’t them I wanted, it was you, from the very first time I saw you. That hunt queen thing, that’s just how it is here. Means nothing to me, or them either.’

  ‘I know you said that,’ she said. ‘I believed you. I was flattered, God help me. I thought you loved me. And then that night – ’

  ‘What night?’

  ‘The night you attacked me.’ Alice was forgotten, despite all Jessie’s resolve to deal with that and nothing more. The hurt and shame she’d tried to control filled her mind and spilled out in words.

  Andrew was on his feet, and she backed towards the door.

  ‘I never attacked you. I wouldn’t.’

  ‘You did. You were drunk. I tried to send you away but you wouldn’t go. You attacked me. You hurt me. I was ashamed, but you did it. Took me like, like a whore.’ Jessie choked on the word.

  ‘I never,’ he began, then stopped and took a step towards her.

  ‘Don’t,’ she cried. ‘Keep away from me.’

  ‘I never meant to hurt you. It was that Friday wasn’t it? It must have been. I’d had a row with the old man, then I went to the Farriers. Can’t remember how much I had to drink, too much. I saw the curtains closed in the back room. I wanted you, Jessie. I want you now.’

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘No!’

  ‘I thought you wanted me, Jess. That’s what the closed curtains always meant. I don’t remember anything. What did I do?’

  ‘I told you to go away, as soon as I saw you I knew it was no good. I said no, but you – you forced me.’

  ‘But I couldn’t hurt you, Jess. I was a bit rough maybe, but you told me you liked it, when I was, you know, forceful. Did I hit you or something?’

  ‘No you didn’t, but you hurt me. I tried to get you to stop but you didn’t.’

  Andrew took a step towards her again but stopped himself.

  ‘Jess, Jess,’ he said. ‘I know I’m rough sometimes, but I could never hurt you. You’re precious to me. You’ve got to believe me. I know it looks bad, with Alice and all, but I love you Jessie, I always have.’

  For a moment she hesitated, her resolve to be strong beginning to ebb away. The fire crackled in the hearth. Suddenly dogs began to bark outside. Andrew turned towards the door, then bent to pick up an axe from the log box. He stared at her. She could see the alarm in his eyes.

  ‘It’s him,’ he whispered. ‘He’s come for me.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Bill Kitchin. He thinks I killed his kid. The dogs can smell him. Keep still, woman, for God’s sake. If he comes, tell him I wasn’t here, d’ye hear me? Can you reach the lamp? Turn it down, right down. That’s it. Now don’t move. Whatever happens, don’t come out, whatever you hear. Stay here. He won’t harm you. It’s me he wants.’

  ‘But you didn’t kill her,’ she whispered.

  The only light in the room was the red-gold glow of the fire. Jessie stood quite still, hardly daring to breathe while the dogs’ barking rose to a frenzy, and the animals yanked at the chain that held them close to the wall across the yard. Andrew looked around, the reflected red light from the axe blade dancing across the wall.

  Then they heard it, a faint sound. Andrew ducked down below the level of the window and gestured wildly for Jessie to do the same.

  ‘What was it?’ she whispered. ‘An owl?’

  He put his finger to his lips. They crouched together, close enough to touch.

  This time they both knew it was a voice, unmistakable when the furious barking stopped for a moment.

  ‘Hello,’ called the voice, closer but still faint and pleading. It was a woman. Almost at once the latch on the door into the yard clicked up and the door began to open inwards, towards them.

  It was Jessie who saw her first. ‘Nellie!’ she cried. ‘Come in, close the door. Thank God. How did you know I was here?’

  ‘It ain’t you I were looking for, miss,’ said Nellie, pulling the edge of her shawl around her face, ‘It were ’im.’ She gestured towards Andrew who was still crouching on the floor like a tiger about to spring. Outside the dogs’ panic had begun to subside.

  ‘Who’s with you?’ said Andrew. ‘Is he here?’

  ‘Bill, you mean?’ said Nellie. ‘Nay, e’s at ’ome, sleeping it off. But, ’e’ll be ’ere tomorrow. I cannut stop ’im.’

  ‘What did you tell him, Nellie?’ said Jessie. ‘You promised me you wouldn’t – ’ and she stopped as Nellie pulled back the shawl from her face. In the glow of the fire the blood on the side of the woman’s face showed dark and one eye was almost closed.

  ‘Oh God,’ said Jessie, getting up to take a closer look. ‘Was that him? What happened? Andrew, for God’s sake, get Nellie a chair. And something to drink, water, tea, anything.’

  Andrew left the room by the other door into the dark kitchen behind, leaving the door open to give himself just enough light. He came back with a wooden chair, placed it by the fire and left again. Jessie lowered Nellie carefully into the chair and knelt beside her, stroking her hair away from the damaged eye.

  ‘Tell me Nellie, while he’s not here, what happened?’

  ‘Someone told our Bill that you and me, that we’d been to th’ Hall, to see Phyllis. When he got back from work he turned on me, wanted to know why, what she’d said, what she knew about our Alice. He were raging, miss. I tried to do what you said, miss. Told ’im that Phyllis had told us nowt, and any road she’s a liar. Then ’e ’it me, miss. I managed to get ’im to calm down a bit, ’e allus calms down after, and got ’im a drink, and then ’e started drinking proper like, crying about Alice. Said whoever it was got our Alice in trouble ’e’d kill ’em, and din’t care what ’appened. I kept on putting drink in front of ’im till ’e went to sleep. I ’ad to warn Andy, miss. I knew Bill would find ’im and kill ’im and then where would me and the bairns be, miss? Who’d look after us then?’

  Andrew was standing at the door, holding a mug in his hand. Jessie got up from Nellie’s side, took it from him and handed it to Nellie.

  ‘Bill did this,’ said Jessie to Andrew over Nellie’s bowed head. ‘She didn’t tell him, but he could still beat it out of her. She came to warn you. He’ll kill you, Andrew, and she’s afraid for her children.’

  ‘Christ,’ he said. ‘What a mess. And all because of that lying bitch.’

  ‘Stop it!’ cried Jessie. ‘This is Alice’s mother. Don’t you dare blame Alice for all this. You treated her and those other girls like meat, what do you expect from them? Alice lied because she had to, to get what she wanted from people like you. She’s dead, poor girl, and all you do is worry about yourself. Now it’s caught up with you. It’ll all come out. Just get out while you can. Nellie’s given you that chance, so take it.’

  ‘What about you?’ said Andrew. He stepped towards Jessie and put both hands on her shoulders. Jessie pulled away from him, shaking her head as Nellie looked up.

  ‘I’ll check the yard,’ said Jessie. ‘ Go and get the things you need. Where’s the bike? Fuel?’ Andrew nodded. ‘So go, before the weather gets worse. Nellie and I can leave after you and no one will know. Don’t tell us where you’re going, then we don’t have to lie.’

  ‘What about my mother?’ said Andrew.

  ‘She’ll worry, just like Nellie did when Alice disappeared. But you can write to her, tell her you’re all right. You won’t be drowned like a rat in the river.’ Jessie spat the words at him, and he turned and left the room again without speaking.

  Jessie turned back to Nellie.

  ‘That was a very brave thing you did, Nellie. Andrew has the chance to get away. He told me what happened with Alice. He says it was an accident, that she slipped and he couldn’t save her. I know, why didn’t he say anything? Same reason he’s running away now. He’s afraid,
Nellie, of your Bill. If Bill can attack you like this, what would he do to Andrew?’

  ‘He’d kill ’im,’ whispered Nellie. ‘I know ’e would.’

  ‘So Andrew will get away. It’s for the best, Nellie, truly. I’ll talk to Bill, tell him we don’t know where he’s gone, tell him to leave you alone.’

  Before Nellie could speak, Andrew came back into the room, a bag slung over his shoulder. Jessie squeezed Nellie’s hand.

  ‘I’ll check the yard before he goes,’ she said. ‘Then I’ll walk you home. Bill will never know what you did. And Andrew will owe you his life,’ she added, looking hard at Andrew as she did so.

  ‘Thank you, Mrs Kitchin,’ said Andrew. ‘I didn’t hurt Alice, but I couldn’t save her. I’m so sorry.’

  Nellie waved him away miserably and fingered her face as she turned towards the fire. Jessie pushed past him, out into the yard, and the dogs began to bark once more. Light snow was drifting slowly down, catching the dim light from the window.

  ‘No one here,’ she said, turning back to Andrew. ‘What about the dogs?’

  ‘Chancer! Gunner!’ Andrew shouted from the doorway. ‘Quiet!’ The barking stopped and they could see the dogs’ tails wagging slowly as they recognized the voice. Andrew put down his bag, strode across the yard, released the dogs from the chain and led them to a shed in the corner where he pushed them in and bolted the door from the outside. ‘Someone’ll find them,’ he said, picking up his bag again. ‘I’m going,’ he said. ‘You know I wanted to anyway, before all this started. Need to get away from the old man once and for all, and the quarry’s going down fast. If that useless boy had sorted out the paperwork we might’ve survived but it’s too much of a mess now.’

  ‘Where will you go?’ Jessie whispered, standing well clear of him still. ‘Quietly, don’t let Nellie hear.’

  ‘Canada, of course. I told you that. Asked you to come with me, remember? I meant it, Jess. Will you come, once I’m settled?’