The Widow of Papina

by Katie Hamstead

  He tugged at my hand so I’d look up at him. “Do you love anyone the same way you love someone else? Do you love your mother the same way as your father? Or, Jackson the same way as Nova?”

  My gaze fell back onto the casket. “No.”

  “Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean the love is any less real.”

  My eyebrows wove together as I stared down. I felt as if Forrest spoke to me through Paul, telling me to move on and be happy. To love someone else one day wouldn’t be a betrayal of what we shared.

  A tear fell as I nodded. “But, I’m going to miss him.”

  I covered my face and I let myself cry for the loss of my best friend.

  ~ ~ ~

  We held the wake in our backyard, with a table set up along the back porch. The whole town came and went throughout the day. It didn’t take long for my front room to be overflowing with flowers. As evening fell, I stood at the doorway, staring in with Mom, Megan, and Sarah.

  “Maybe I could try planting them?” I said. “I noticed the backyard looks a bit bare. There are just those three beech trees up the back.”

  Sarah bent over and moved some bunches around. “This one’s in a pot.”

  Megan touched my arm. “I think a flower garden would be nice.”

  Mom nudged me. “I’m sure that sheriff would be more than happy to churn up a patch of soil for you.”

  Sarah flinched.

  Megan’s hand tightened around my arm.

  I rolled my eyes. “Mom, stop stirring up trouble.”

  She chuckled. “He’s a very attractive young man. If I were single, I’d be a cougar for him.”

  “Mom!”

  “I’m teasing, Bray. Sometimes I miss the wild child.” She slapped my butt.

  “I’ll tell Dad you’re checking out other men.”

  She grinned. “Oh, he knows. Why do you think I watch football? For the sport?”

  I rolled my eyes again.

  She kissed my head. “I’m glad you’re bouncing back, dear.”

  I wrapped my arm around her waist. “But, there won’t be a day that goes by without me missing him.”

  “Of course not.” She kissed my head again. “I think I’ll go pack up the food outside.”

  She left us.

  Sarah glared after her. Then, she hissed in a low voice, “Isn’t it a little soon for her to be trying to push you onto someone else? I mean, Forrest has barely been in his grave a few hours.”

  “Sarah,” Megan said firmly.

  “She just wants me to be happy,” I said. “But, don’t worry; I’m not ready for a new relationship yet.”

  Sarah sniffed. “I didn’t mean . . . ” She turned away from us. “I just—”

  “She means anyone but Paul,” Megan grumbled. “Stop being so jealous, Sarah.”

  Sarah swung back around to speak, but I cut in. “There’s nothing going on between me and Paul. He’s helping me out because he feels he owes it to Forrest, and I really appreciate it, especially with Nova gone now, too. And, even when Nova was here, it was nice to have someone around who actually talked.”

  “You always have me.” Sarah folded her arms and raised her chin. “You’re pretty much my best friend now.”

  “Oh, Sarah.” Megan rubbed her eyes.

  “No offense, but I think you’d struggle with some of the work he’s been doing,” I said. “He’s had Clint help him with the countertops, and he’s been cleaning out my chimney—”

  Sarah grunted. She snatched up several potted flowers. “I’ll take these out the back.”

  She brushed by and marched out.

  Megan leaned in front of me to draw my gaze. “Sarah will be an obstacle.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “To be with Paul. She’ll fight you for him.”

  My eyes widened. “You, too? Forrest has only been gone for eight months!”

  “Yes, but—”

  “No buts.” I pouted. “And, no more discussion on the issue. It’s not going to happen. Forrest . . . Forrest he . . . ” I shook my head. “Plus, Paul’s really not my type.”

  “Bray . . . ”

  I hurried up the stairs. At the top, I paused and sank onto the floor. A strange conflict stirred inside me, and I tugged at my hair to fend it off. It was too soon to move on. I still loved Forrest so much, but Paul . . . I felt something for him. Something I’d never expected.

  “Megan?”

  My heart jumped at the sound of Paul’s voice, and I peeked down the stairs.

  He stepped up beside her, clutching his hat to his chest. “She said I’m not her type.”

  My heart stopped.

  “Oh, Paul.” Megan grabbed his hand. “She’s making excuses. Just keep being patient. It’s still too soon.”

  He hung his head. “I’m nothing like Forrest. Maybe I’m really not her type and I’m—”

  “Don’t let your insecurities from Hannah get to you.” She poked his chest. “Bray may be a glamorous city girl with a wild-child background as well, but she’s not the same. Bray has a heart, and that heart has been broken. Give her time to heal.”

  His shoulders lifted as he sighed. “How did Clint get so lucky to have you?”

  She patted his cheek. “Who knows? Sometimes I wonder that myself.”

  Paul smirked, letting out a soft laugh.

  “Hey.” She leaned closer and glanced around. “Did you hear Sarah before?”

  He shook his head.

  She scowled. “She needs to be dealt with during this waiting time or you’re going to have some problems.”

  He groaned and rubbed his face. “You know I’ve tried everything, I’ve even sunk so low as being mean to her, which I really didn’t want to do.”

  Megan rested her hands on her hips. “Keep being mean to her. Egg her car.”

  “I’m the sheriff, Megan.”

  “Whatever. Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Her gaze flashed toward the backyard. “She’s coming back. Be mean.”

  “Megan—”

  “I’m serious.” She slapped his shoulder.

  A moment later, Sarah appeared. “Hey.”

  Paul turned away. “I’m going to check on Bray.”

  “She probably wants to be left alone,” Sarah said, touching his arm.

  He pulled away. “Well I’m going to make sure that’s what she wants.”

  Sarah pulled back. His tone seemed to throw her off guard. “I’ll check on her then.”

  Megan caught her arm. “No, Sarah. How about you help me with the flowers?”

  “Go away, Megan.”

  “Hey.” Paul grabbed Megan’s arm and glared at Sarah. “Don’t talk to her like that.”

  The situation grew tense, so I stood to intervene. They turned when they heard my footsteps coming down the stairs. They each had a startled expression for a moment, before they composed themselves.

  I hit the bottom stair and paused. “Sheriff?”

  “Yes?”

  “My mom wants to talk to you. I think she’s out the back.”

  A smirk curled Sarah’s lips.

  “Okay. What about?” he asked.

  “Building a garden.” I looked at Megan and found her glare burning into me. I hadn’t diffused the situation at all. I’d only made it worse. “I’m going to go for a walk to clear my head.”

  Sarah stepped forward. “Do you need—?”

  “Someone to watch Jackson? Yes, thank you, Sarah.”

  She nodded and stepped back.

  I turned toward the door and Paul caught my arm. “It’s getting late. Do you want me to come with you?”

  Behind him, Megan winced, and Sarah scowled.

>   I pulled free. “No.”

  I rushed out the door.

  I jogged up to Main Street, my thoughts and feelings whirring around inside me. I couldn’t make sense of any of it, nor did I want to.

  I paused at the front of the courthouse and stared up at the flagpole. The flag hung at half-staff during the day, but someone had brought it down already. I walked over and pressed my forehead against the warm metal. The warmth from the day felt good, and I let myself cry.

  I’m not sure how long I stood there, but a voice startled me. “Ma’am? Are you all right?”

  I turned to see Vern Richards.

  His face fell as he recognized me.

  “Just leave me alone,” I muttered, swinging back around.

  “I heard what happened to your husband and I’m sorry.”

  I scoffed. “Sure you are.”

  “I am. You were just starting out. No one should have their hopes and dreams snuffed out like that.”

  “Even if they’re married to a native?”

  There was a pause. “I was cruel to say those things, and I truly regret it now.”

  I turned to face him, then sniffed and wiped my eyes. “What do you want?”

  “Nothing. I was just taking a stroll, and saw a woman in distress.”

  “Why are you even here?”

  “School finishes next week, and I came to see if the town would be safe to return to next year. Many of the parents are quite frightened that there’s a murderer on the loose. But, when I arrived, I discovered the suspect is in custody. So, I’ve contacted the other parents to let them know the town is back to its usual peaceful self.”

  “A suspect is in custody, but she didn’t do it,” I mumbled as I walked away.

  He followed. “Of course, she did. All the evidence fits.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks. I’d heard it so many times; the evidence pointed to Nova, but that time, it just made me furious. “She’s a scared, fourteen-year-old girl. She didn’t do it.”

  He didn’t answer. I waited for a moment, before starting to walk away. But then he said, “A girl capable of armed robbery.”

  I flinched and slowly turned. “We’re all capable of just about anything, even you, Mr. Richards.”

  He raised his eyebrows as I hurried away from him. But again, he followed. “Are you implying I did it? Because, I wasn’t even in the state.”

  “I’m not implying anything.”

  He caught my arm and spun me around. “I’m sorry for your loss, Mrs. Miller, and I’m sorry this issue hasn’t been resolved to your satisfaction. I would like to assist you somehow, as I am sure without your husband’s income you have been quite put out.”

  “I don’t need your money.” I pulled away.

  “Then, how about a gift of condolences?”

  “No.”

  “Ms. Miller, I would very much like to help you. If you would like, I have a position at my company as my assistant—”

  “I want to stay here.”

  “Surely, a woman such as yourself, would prefer a position with a higher level of exposure to the public.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Well, you are young, bright, and very attractive.” His gaze drifted down my body.

  Are you hitting on me?”

  His gaze shot back up to my face. “Ms. Miller—”

  “Missus.”

  “I’m offering you . . . ”

  “I don’t want it.”

  “A position which could . . . ”

  “I’m not interested!”

  His hand clamped around my arm. “Why?”

  “I like it here. It’s a good, safe place to raise my son. Not to mention, I’m closer in age to your own son than you.”

  His eyes narrowed on my face.

  “Sir, let go of Mrs. Miller.” Clint stepped up beside us. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so relieved.

  Vern let go of my arm. “The offer will remain on the table if you feel ready to move on with your life.” He tilted his head in a bow. “Good evening.”

  I watched him walk away, furious at what he tried to do.

  Clint rested his hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, he’s just a jerk.”

  “What are you doing out here alone anyway? It’s almost eight.”

  I didn’t realize it was so late. “You know, hitting the town. Having a wild time.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Do I need to breath test you?”

  I laughed. “You’re pretty stiff for a guy who tried to kiss his best friend.”

  He blinked. “Huh?”

  “Never mind.” I turned to head home.

  He matched my pace. “I’d like an excuse to see Megan.”

  We walked along in silence for a few moments until he said, “Kiss my best friend?”

  “It’s killing you, isn’t it?”

  “I’m just trying to . . . oh.”

  “And, you just got it.”

  “Yup. Got a black eye for that one.”

  I smiled.

  “He really does talk to you too much.”

  I shook my head with a sigh. “He’s around a lot, and with no one else in the house to talk to . . . ” I shrugged. “I guess I just lean on him a bit too much.”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked me over. “He likes you, you know.”

  “Yeah, he’s a good friend,” I said, hoping to divert away from what I knew he meant. “When I first met him he really rubbed me the wrong way with his backward cowboy thing, but now I know he has good intentions at heart.”

  He scowled. “Backward cowboy thing?”

  “Mmm.” I flushed, realizing he was exactly the same, and hurried around the corner.

  “Bray, you know he’s my best friend.”

  “Uh-huh.” I sped up feeling like this was going somewhere I didn’t want. Why couldn’t I just be left alone?

  “He’s practically my brother.”

  “I know.”

  “His ex really hurt him.”

  I sighed again. “I know.”

  He grabbed my arm. “And, I get that you’re not really in a place to see anyone, but if he doesn’t stand a chance, ever, don’t drag it out and leave him hanging onto false hope.”

  My cheeks burned as I turned away. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “Bray, it’s not fair on him if you—”

  I turned on him as tears burned in my eyes. “I just buried my husband. My husband. This is the last thing I even want to think about, so just leave it alone.”

  He pursed his lips but nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

  I sobbed and rubbed my eyes. “Don’t force me to do anything right now, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  I turned, and to my surprise, I stood right next to my gate. I ran my fingers over the wood. “Megan should still be here.”

  He hurried to open the gate for me. To my relief, she was the only person left helping Mom put Jackson to bed, while Dad sat watching TV with Donny.

  That night, as I curled up in bed, I finally managed to clear my head of everything, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 15

  I sat nursing Jackson, barely awake, when the loud banging on the door caused me to jump.

  Dad hurried down the stairs and snapped, “It’s six thirty . . . oh.”

  “We have a warrant to search the house,” the detective said.

  At six thirty? What was wrong with this man?

  “Where is Mrs. Miller?”

  “She’s upstairs nursing, so please leave her for just a few moments.”

  “I need to
speak with her.”

  “Just wait!” Dad yelled, as footsteps hurried up the stairs.

  I reached over and grabbed one of Jackson blankets, throwing it over myself just before the detective burst into the nursery. His lip curled in disgust at the sight of me, before he glanced around. “Start in here first.”

  “Excuse me?” I gasped.

  Men pushed in, and I clung to Jackson in alarm. I felt so exposed in my pajamas and nursing. I glared up at him. “Couldn’t you start somewhere else?”

  His eyebrow twitched but he ignored me.

  In the hallway, Mom yelled. “Hey! Be careful!”

  “Why are you doing this like . . . this?” I snarled up at him.

  “Don’t want you getting any ideas,” he muttered.

  “Ideas about what?” Jackson released me, but I clung to him, not wanting to move and expose myself.

  One of the men held up a pair of safety scissors he found in a drawer and sprayed them.

  “Ideas about hiding something. I don’t want you trying to protect Nova by tampering with evidence.”

  “Are you completely insane?” I glanced around at the room full of men as Jackson shifted. “Please, go to my room across the hall or Nova’s room down the hall, just let me finish here.”

  He leaned closer, his eyes flashing to the blanket. “He’s a little old to be nursing still.”

  “He’s not even a year!”

  “Detective.”

  The detective flinched at the sound of the sheriff’s voice. Paul stood at the doorway in his uniform, with his hand rested over his gun. “I don’t think this is the way you should treat Mrs. Miller when she’s been so accommodating.”

  The detective’s nose twitched, but he tilted his head. “Are we done in here?”

  The four men answered affirmatively, so he motioned for them to leave. Paul glared at him as they each stepped out and muttered, “You may be a Fed, but this is my town, and I don’t appreciate you treating the people in my care with such blatant contempt.”

  “Well maybe you should have given us the girl when we first asked for her.” He glared at Paul and they stared each other down as he moved out to the hallway and into my bedroom.