The Widow of Papina

by Katie Hamstead

  “Who are they?” I asked.

  He nodded down at Paul. “Him and Sarah.”

  I drew a sharp breath. “Oh no. I knew I shouldn’t have—”

  Paul shot up beside me. “You needed cheering up. That’s way more important than winning. I actually heard you laugh again.”

  I flushed, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.

  He smiled, his gaze locked on my face.

  “I should get back to Jackson.”

  Megan wrapped her arm through mine. “They’re about to bring out the food. Why don’t you go with Paul while I get the boys?”

  I met her eyes, gritting my teeth. All she did was smile.

  Sarah joined the circle with the boys in tow.

  Megan huffed.

  “Hey. You guys hungry?” Sarah asked.

  Clint and Paul exchanged a knowing look. Paul tilted his head and they walked away from us.

  Megan snatched the cart from Sarah. “When are you going to get the hint?”

  Sarah blinked. “What?”

  “Paul!”

  Sarah turned red as she gritted her teeth. “You’re such a dog. Just because you married his best friend, doesn’t make you all-knowing about him.”

  “Stop,” I said.

  They both looked at me, irritation in their eyes.

  “I don’t think this is an argument worth having.”

  Sarah’s cheeks turned redder, while Megan rolled her eyes. “Bray, she needs to accept he’s not into her before she turns into an old maid with a million cats.” She turned to Sarah. “Just because you gave him your virginity, doesn’t mean you have a claim on him. If that were the case, I wouldn’t be married to Clint.”

  My jaw dropped. “Wait, what?”

  Sarah turned so red I think she’d give a tomato a run for its money. “Shut up, Megan.”

  Megan ignored her and turned to me. “Paul took her to his prom. They had a brief thing around about then, and so they—”

  “Shut up!” Sarah grabbed her arm.

  “But, Paul realized he just wasn’t that into her when she—”

  Sarah slapped her shoulder. “I said, shut up!”

  “Megan.” I scowled.

  But, she grinned. “Truth hurts, huh, Sarah?”

  “I can’t believe Clint married you,” Sarah said under her breath.

  Megan threw her a filthy look. “I can’t believe you can’t see that Paul is into Bray!”

  I flinched.

  Sarah gasped. She shot me a frightened look. “Bray’s not into him, so he should get over it. Right, Bray? You’re still in love with Forrest.”

  I winced as a stabbing sensation pierced my heart.

  “Sarah!” Megan slapped her shoulder.

  I couldn’t handle the conversation any longer, so I hurried away. My heart felt like it had torn open, and the joy I’d felt only moments earlier, vanished. I reached the line for food and glanced back at Jackson.

  Sarah and Megan bickered above him, but he and Donny didn’t pay any attention as they played with a rope. I wanted to run to him and throw my arms around him to cry, but I couldn’t bear going back to them. I hadn’t realized they held so much animosity for each other. Things seemed far more complicated than I’d realized after what I’d just heard. I wanted nothing more than to stay out of it until everything with Forrest had cleared up. Then, and only then, would I even consider . . .

  “Bray?”

  I jumped at being torn from my thoughts.

  Clint and Paul walked up in front of me. Paul offered me a plate with a hamburger and chips, and a small bowl of chili. “I got you something, and I hope this is okay for Jackson.”

  I slumped, before rubbing my eyes. “Couldn’t you just leave me alone for a while?” I hurried away.

  I rushed to hide behind a building, and slid down onto the asphalt. Why was this happening to me? I wished Forrest could just hold me and tell me everything would be okay, but then, if he were there, none of what I’d just experienced would have happened.

  I grabbed my ponytail and slipped the band off to let my hair fall around me, hiding my face so I could cry.

  Someone sat beside me, so I turned away. A hand rested on my head, gently stroking my hair. I knew by the size and touch who the hand belonged to.

  “Paul, just go away.”

  “Braydon.” He sighed and brushed my hair hack from my face.

  I turned and clutched at my face.

  “Bray, I should have told you about Sarah. I’m sorry. I was a stupid kid, and far from immune from a pretty smile and strong advances. I don’t know what I was thinking, but she made some very forward moves and I went with it. But, the moment she said she loved me, I knew I wasn’t being fair to her—”

  “I don’t care about all that,” I said. “I just . . . ” I buried my face in my hands again. “I don’t need these extra complications.”

  “Bray.” He caught my hands and pulled them away from my face. “I don’t want to see you cry anymore. I will do anything to make that smile stay on your face and the laughter I heard before ring in my ears every day.”

  He touched my cheek, brushing my tears away. “Don’t cry, Bray.”

  I looked up into his incredible eyes.

  He caressed my face and softly kissed my cheek.

  I took a sharp breath as tingles shot through me. I grabbed onto his wrists as his lips wandered up and kissed my eyelids. My whole body seemed to ignite as his thumbs brushed my cheeks and his lips soothed the heat from my crying.

  What was I thinking? I shoved him off. “What are you doing?”

  Disappointment filled his eyes. “I’m trying to help.”

  I shook my head and turned away. “You’re not. You’re the reason why everything is so complicated.”

  I turned and met his eyes. “Sarah’s in love with you. I won’t be that friend. The one who steals the guy her friend is in love with. And Forrest, I can’t do that to Forrest. How can I just . . . ”

  I bit my lip, my heart pounding as my tumultuous and confusing feelings swelled inside me. I dropped my gaze onto the ground, unable to look him in the eyes. “We won’t ever happen.”

  He let out a long breath. “I just . . . ” His fist clenched. “I respect that you still hold onto Forrest, I do, that’s why I haven’t pushed you. But, never? That’s coming from your friendship with Sarah.”

  I shook my head and stood. “So?”

  “So . . . ” He jumped up in front of me. “I don’t want to be with her.”

  “She loves you. She’s loved you for years. I won’t steal that from her like someone stole my love . . . ” My voice caught as tears welled in my eyes. “From me.”

  He clasped my chin. “It’s different for me and her than you and Forrest. You know that. I’ve never loved her back. I’ve never been hers.”

  I pulled away from him. “Just leave me alone.” I marched past him, hoping in the fading afternoon light, no one would notice my puffy eyes.

  Chapter 17

  Megan sighed as I stared at the catalogue. I glanced across at her. “I can’t afford any of this.”

  She stretched her hand out. “You know the hotel has a very nice events hall, and I know considering the circumstances they’d give you a good price for decoration, catering, everything.”

  I groaned. “It’s his first birthday, not his twenty-first. And, I want Nova to be there.”

  Megan glanced up at the kitchen ceiling. “How’s she doing?”

  I let out a puff of air as I leaned back. “The time in custody made her regress dramatically. She barely acknowledges me anymore. I just don’t know what to do.”

  Megan grabbed my hand. “Just keep showing her you love her. She’ll come back.�
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  “I hope so.”

  She patted my hand. “All right. Party. You have a nice sized yard. We could get people to bring a plate of food and set the table out the back again. I’m sure we could scrounge up some decorations for you, too.”

  “In two days?” I rubbed my temple.

  “Yes. Just watch me.”

  I met her gaze and smiled. “Thank you, Megan. My finances are starting to dry out. I don’t know what else I can do to bring in some extra money.”

  She frowned. “I thought you worked?”

  “I do.” I rubbed my eyes. “But, two publishers and one online magazine contract doesn’t cover everything. It’s meager. I’m afraid I might have to sell this place and move back to Vegas.”

  She gasped. “No! You’re not allowed to do that.” She glanced around. “Maybe if you downsize?”

  “We don’t have anything left to downsize.”

  “Didn’t Forrest have life insurance?”

  I raised an eyebrow at her. “Do you and Clint have life insurance?”

  “You have a point.”

  We fell silent.

  Finally, I said, “I guess we should make this a farewell, too. I’ll call the bank.”

  She clutched my hand, her eyes wide. “No. You’re not leaving. We’re going to work something out.”

  “Megan, I can’t—”

  “No, I’m not going to let you go. I’ve finally got someone interesting here and worthwhile to talk to, so I’m going to work something out.”

  She jumped to her feet and rushed to the door. “Don’t you do anything about moving, you hear me? I’ll find something.” She shut the door with a bang behind her.

  I looked down at Donny with Jackson. “Well, she’ll definitely be back.”

  I set the boys in the playpen and made my way upstairs.

  Nova’s music played softly, so I tapped on her door. “Nova? Can I come in?”

  Nothing.

  I cracked the door open and saw her lying on the bed. “Nova?”

  She didn’t flinch.

  I sat next to her and squeezed her shoulder. “Are you awake?”

  She still didn’t move.

  I turned her, but she remained limp. My stomach tightened. “No.”

  I felt her neck for a pulse. I felt it, but her breath was sharp and shallow. I shook her. “Nova, wake up!”

  She remained unconscious.

  I swore and dug into my pocket for my phone. “Sheriff?”

  “Bray, what’s wrong?”

  “Something’s not right with Nova.” I glanced around and found an empty packet of drugs. “Oh no! Paul, get the doctor or someone. I think she overdosed.”

  I couldn’t help it. I burst into tears. “No, Nova. No, no, no.”

  I dropped the phone and pulled her mouth open. I pressed on the back of her tongue until I hit her vomit reflex. She threw up, but remained unconscious.

  “Nova!” I screamed, clasping her face. “Why, Nova? Why?”

  I patted her cheek, trying to wake her, while checking her pulse again. Still there.

  “Wake up!” I screamed.

  She was plucked from my arms and rushed out of the room. I hurried after her. Paul had her in his arms as he ran down the stairs.

  “Paul!”

  He didn’t slow as he reached for the door. “Stay here, Bray.”

  The door slammed behind him.

  I stood frozen, halfway down the stairs. What do I do?

  I rushed into the pantry and grabbed the cleaning supplies. Soon, on hands and knees, I finished cleaning up her vomit. I found several undigested pills, but not many. I leaned back against the door frame and cried.

  Why would she do that? No, I knew exactly why: she was being blamed for a crime she didn’t commit.

  The front door burst open. “Bray?”

  Megan’s footsteps pounded up the stairs. She appeared beside me and wrapped her arms around me. “It’s going to be all right.”

  I burst into tears, clinging to her desperately. My world seemed to be spinning out of control and all I could do was clutch at straws. If Nova died . . . I buried my face into Megan’s shoulder. “It’s my fault. I should have paid more attention.”

  “No!” She grabbed my face and lifted it to look into my eyes. “Never think that! You are the mother she never had. She came to you broken and you’ve stuck through where so many others would have given up. You’re amazing, Bray. She’s so lucky to have you, and she will come back from this.”

  I let out a sob. “What if she doesn’t?”

  Megan sighed. “She will. Clint told me the doctor got her to wake up, and they’ve rushed her to Bearville to get her stomach pumped. She’ll probably be in the hospital for a few days, but she’s not going to die.”

  My head fell onto her shoulder as I cried from relief. The sick, tight feeling in my stomach faded.

  She helped me stand and we walked back downstairs. She sat me on the couch watching the boys while she made some tea. She handed me the mug and sat beside me.

  I inhaled the chamomile scent, and sipped at it, letting it sooth me.

  She ran her fingers through my hair. “So, you were a nerd in high school, huh?”

  I smiled, glad for the diversion from my thoughts. “Yeah. I had my nose stuck in a book all the time, and I was in the top ten of my grade when we graduated. I wore these ugly pink rimmed glasses and had really bad acne on my chin and forehead. I thought my hair was ridiculous, so always wore it in a pony, and I wore jeans and a T-shirt every day.”

  “What changed?” she asked.

  I smiled and shrugged. “I grew up. My acne went away, straight hair moved aside for wavy hair,” I touched my waves. “And, Mom made me buy some nice clothes. So, when I went to college, suddenly I had guys hitting on me.”

  I flushed, remembering how awkward my freshman year turned out. “I had no idea how to handle it. I’m fairly sure a few people took advantage of me. But, I learned and pulled my chin up.”

  “When did Forrest come along?”

  I sighed, thinking of the first time I saw him. “My senior year. I was at a party, and I just kissed him, which shocked him. He always said he was so surprised that such a pretty girl would kiss him, he had no choice but to ask me out right there and then.”

  I smiled. “Our first date he took me to McDonald’s for dinner. I was like, ‘Uh, loser. One date only,’ but then he took me inside The Luxor and said we had to collect as many free tickets to shows as possible, and do everything possible to get the free tickets.

  “I thought he was completely mad, but went along with it. I had so much fun, and saw a guy who could talk anyone into anything. He told people we were newlyweds, or we’d eloped, all kinds of things just to get a ticket.”

  I chuckled. “We ended up with free tickets to fifteen different shows. As he drove me home he asked me if I wanted to use the tickets with him. I didn’t even hesitate to answer yes.”

  “So, you spent the next while going on dates to shows?” Megan asked.

  I laughed. “Oh yes, and doing hotel tours, listening to sales pitches, staring at investment properties, because free tickets means you need to do something to earn them first. But, we got to know each other very well during those times. More than at any of the shows.”

  She ran her fingers through my hair. “It sounds like you had a lot of fun.”

  I smiled and looked at her. “I’ve never had more fun with anyone else.”

  “Remember those times, Bray. Don’t dwell on the pain of him being gone. Just be glad he spent those years with you, making you happy. And now, let yourself be happy like he’d want you to be.”

  My nose tingled as tears threatened to escape my eyes. “Yes, h
e would.”

  “I want you to be happy again, too.” She squeezed my knee.

  I looked into her eyes. “Thank you, Megan.”

  She patted my knee. “I took care of the bail debt you owed.”

  I gasped. “What?”

  She shrugged. “Paul felt bad taking it from you anyway, so I took it over. Clint and I are doing well, so I can handle it.”

  “Megan—”

  “Don’t even bother protesting. It’s done.”

  I sighed and slumped. “Thank you.”

  She shrugged again with a smile. “It’s self-serving really. I want to keep you around.”

  She kissed my head. “Now, chin up. We’re going to pack up the boys and go down to the hospital.”

  She took my hand and coaxed me to stand.

  We arrived at the hospital an hour later and rushed in to find Paul and Clint talking to the woman detective.

  She glanced over as we approached and nodded. “Mrs. Miller, I’m glad you made it.”

  “How is she?” I asked.

  “She’ll survive, but we’re going to need to put some precautions in place at your home.”

  I nodded. “Of course. Whatever you need.”

  “We will need to check your house for anything hazardous.”

  “Just as long as it isn’t left trashed like last time.”

  Her eyebrow twitched. “I think we can manage that.” She stepped toward the door. “Would you like to see her?”

  I nodded. She pushed the door open for me and I stepped through.

  Nova lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

  I sank into the chair beside her, reaching for her hand. “Nova?”

  When my fingers brushed against hers, she pulled away.

  I dropped my face into my hands. “Why did you do this? I was so scared I’d lost you. I’ve told you I couldn’t bare it if I lost you as well. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to protect you like I promised, but I’m trying.”

  Her hand rested on my head and I looked up. Tears ran down her cheeks as she pointed at me, touched her heart, then pointed at herself.