He met her eyes, as if he knew what she was thinking. “I know. He’s my father, and I never said I disagreed with him.” He pulled the pasta from the stove and made a white creamy sauce in a matter of seconds it seemed like. Then he placed two plates down on the bar of the kitchen counter.
Ava’s stomach grumbled. It smelled savory.
Xavier poured white wine in two glasses and placed them down on the counter. Ava shifted. This was becoming more and more like a date. She would never forgive herself if she ever went on a date with Xavier Holstone. But he was close to giving her answers. Answers she’d been wanting to know. And since she was going to die soon, she wanted to know why.
He sat next to her, and they started eating. She had to admit he was a good cook.
“It’s good,” she said.
“Thanks. I don’t get to cook often. It’s nice to every once in a while.”
They ate mostly in silence, and then moved to the living room and sat near the fireplace. Xavier poked the logs with the iron poker.
“So do you agree with Havok and the way things are?”
He took a moment as if piecing together the right words. “Yes. And no. It's a double-edged sword. Ephemerals killed my parents, but I wish I could do more.” He shook his head.
Ava actually felt sorry for him. She hated that he made her feel that way.
“I wish you could remember your upbringing, because I'm sure it was somewhat normal compared to mine. I know you haven't had it easy, and I made it worse. I am a lot like my father, in many ways. I follow his every word, for the most part, and I admire him. Or did. Being the son who didn't abandon him, he told me a lot about his former life. Even his life before Savina and Colden came into the picture. He only told me this once. But I remember he said he’d made a mistake when he told his parents his ability developed. His family had always been warring with Ephemerals. He was raised in that environment, just like me. When his family decided he was ready for war and that he was ready to kill, he wanted to run away. He never wanted to become a leader or anything. He only gave the Ephemerals diseases to please his parents. He wanted nothing to do with the war.”
Ava found that hard to believe, but she withheld her thoughts. Although, when Savina and Colden told her about the younger Havok, he wasn't the crazy, evil man he was now.
“Havok had fallen in love with a young woman, Lenorah. He wanted to marry her and start a family. But there were several issues. First, his family never thought they were a good match. Lenorah wasn’t Royalty. And his family thought her gifts weren’t good enough.”
“Was she an Enchanter?” Ava asked.
“Yes. She could pass through solid objects. She was intangible.”
“How is that not good enough?”
“I don’t know. He said his family didn’t think it could help, but I think it was just an excuse. It was because her family secretly fraternized with Ephemerals, and they knew it. Havok didn’t care. He loved Lenorah. So, instead of staying with his family, he distanced himself, and the two eventually married.”
“So that’s why he encouraged Savina and Colden to love whomever they wanted.”
“Right. They had a child and lived in peace for years. One day, Lenorah had taken their child out, and never came back. He searched for days, and no one had seen them. But in the back of his mind, he knew exactly what had happened.”
Ava recalled the vision of Havok’s memory. The Ephemerals had murdered his wife and child in a horrific manner. “The Ephemerals had tied Esmerelda to Lenorah's chest and pushed her off a cliff.” She stiffened, and clamped her mouth shut. She silently cursed. The words slipped out, without her even thinking.
Xavier's eyes grew dark and his jaw tightened. “How do you know that?”
She cleared her throat. “I...I’ve been seeing visions or something of Havok's memories.” She couldn't believe she told him that.
His face fell, and he closed his eyes.
Had Xavier known she was linked to him? Did he know her fate? “What is it?” she asked, hearing her voice tremble.
He shook his head. “What else have you been seeing?”
“Havok with a woman and a baby. And I saw one where he found out who killed his wife and child. I’ve also been seeing things about a woman who looks like me.”
He nodded. “Your mom.”
“I don’t remember her.”
“I know.” He looked guilty.
“Was it really Ephemerals who killed his wife and child?”
“Yes. And no. Yes, the Ephemerals killed Lenorah and their child. But it was his parents who paid them, in a sense, to do the killing.”
Ava’s jaw dropped. Her head spun in so many directions. Havok’s parents had Ephemerals kill Lenorah and Esmerelda. “How did he find out? And why is he still killing Ephemerals?”
“Veronica, his sister, finally broke down and told him years later as Hunters had been killing off his family. His parents made a deal with Hunters. They claimed if the Hunters killed Lenorah, they would grant the Hunters freedom and an end to the war.” Xavier shook his head. “But they were never granted freedom.”
Tears pooled Ava’s eyes. “Why would they do that? Couldn’t they have sent Lenorah and Esmerelda away? Why did his family have to kill them?”
Xavier reached for her hands, and intertwined them. “At first, his family tried to force Lenorah to leave Havok. But she was determined to stay. They wanted her out of the picture so Havok would fight with his family. Lenorah never got a chance to tell Havok, because Hunters killed her.”
“That’s terrible.”
“Hunters killed Havok’s parents before he could confront them.”
She understood why the Cimmerians would side with Havok, but no one knew about Lenorah and their baby. “Why did he keep Lenorah and Esmerelda a secret from everyone? Including Savina and Colden? If they had known the truth, they wouldn’t have left him.” Another one of Havok’s memories came to her. He had told Veronica that he didn’t want to tell his children the truth because their roots were deep with the Ephemerals. And he wanted them to experience their hatred. It didn’t make sense to Ava.
“Maybe. Maybe not. He told me he never wanted to talk about it. It hurt too much. Then after Colden and Savina betrayed him, he never got the chance. He wanted them to make up their own minds about Ephemerals. He wanted them to find out for themselves how cruel Ephemerals could be. That is why he planted the idea in the villagers’ heads that Savina had spread the disease.”
“You’d think this would all be public knowledge.”
“Havok is a very private person. He also wants people to have a mind of their own.”
Ava looked at him like he was crazy. “Is that why he erases people’s memories?”
“He used to feel that way. For a while things were peaceful, but in reality, he was building his army. He let revenge take over, and he became a distraught power-driven killer. He’s obsessed. So he erases minds, forces people to bind themselves to him, and makes them train constantly.”
“And you like this lifestyle?”
“No, but I can’t do anything. I’m stuck. Unless I want to run for the rest of my life.”
“What about your parents?”
“What about them?”
“How were they…?” She let the thought trail. She knew how difficult it was telling someone how your parent died.
“They were burned alive.”
Her breath hitched. “Do you remember it?”
“Vaguely. I remember seeing shoes running as if I was in a crowd of people. I cried for my mom, but they’d taken her and tied her to a stake. Then, I hid. I remember Havok picking me up. It was early morning, but the sky was still gray from all of the smoke.”
She felt her shoulders slump. There were always two sides to every story. But Ava never expected to hear how Ephemerals tortured Enchanters. She had witnessed it firsthand though. But they weren’t all bad. Her father wasn’t a terrible person, and neither was Peter.
Link. Nicole. Seth. And Havok had killed everyone who fought against him, including his son and daughter. He was a crazed man obsessed with revenge that had been set in place centuries ago. And he had no intention of slowing down anytime soon.
“I know I’ve told you a lot tonight.”
“Do you like what you do, Xavier?”
He poked the fire, its embers growing brighter. “No, I don’t. But I also don’t want to die either.”
Neither did she.
“I wanted to tell you all of this because you deserve to know.”
“I appreciate it.”
“Does this change your mind about me?”
“In what way?”
“I don’t want you to hate me.”
It was hard not hating Xavier. After what he had done to her. She would never forget it, and she’d been so set on revenge for so long. Revenge was never a good thing. What if she had been so obsessed with revenge that she killed her own family? Friends? Anyone who got in her way? She didn’t know what to think. Her mind was so frazzled. “I just need time to think.”
“Understandable. I gave you a lot to think about.”
“Yeah. But I’m not sure why you told me. What can I do about any of it?”
He gripped the back of his neck. “I don’t know. I just had to tell you what I’ve done and the rest of it.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me before my memories got erased?”
He shrugged. “I was angry. As cowardly as it is, it’s easier telling you now that you don’t remember any of it.”
“But what was the point?”
“Because if for some miracle you actually cared for me, I couldn’t go on living like that. You needed to know everything about me, and you, before anything could happen between us. Of course, I could be jumping the gun.”
Ava took a deep breath, staring at the crackling fire. She squeezed Xavier’s hand and turned to him. The bright color from the fire reflected in his dark eyes. He looked weary and remorseful. “Xavier, I don’t hate you,” she said, and meant it. “We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of.” Had he known it was the real Ava, her confession would have meant more. She wanted to tell him the truth.
“We should head back,” Xavier said. “They’ll be wondering where we are soon.”
Ava nodded and followed him out of the swanky apartment and into the disgusting moldy hallway. She held her breath from the rank stench and let it out as soon as they exited the building. She had a decision to make. And fast.
The rest of the way to the castle was quiet. The June night was cool, and the black sky looked smooth and silky against the millions of flickering stars. The village was quiet, and Ava guessed everyone had closed their shops for the night, except the Tavern. She heard music vibrating the windows and loud chatter.
They parted once inside the castle. Ava wanted to go to Klaus’s room, but couldn’t shake the feeling that Xavier was watching her every move. She couldn’t be certain if he knew her mind had never been erased and just told her the truth about her and her friends in order to get her to confess. She still played the game just to be on the safe side. And she had no doubt in her mind, that if she had really lost her memory, she would’ve believed every word he said.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
FAILURE
When she entered her room, Ava saw a flash of black and jumped. She shut the door, and Gabriel met her with a powerful kiss. It was just what she needed after the night she’d just had.
He pulled back a little. “What’s wrong?” How did he always know when something was wrong?
“I just spent the night with Xavier.”
“That bad?”
Ava let out a long sigh as she made her way to the bed and sank down onto it. “He told me everything.” She realized now she could tell Gabriel the whole story since Xavier had just told her.
“Everything as in…” Gabriel crossed the room and sat beside her.
“As in the truth about Klaus taking our memories etcetera.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “He told you the truth?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow. Why did he tell you?”
She met his eyes. “He’s in love with me. He also told me why Havok hates Ephemerals.”
“What?”
“Yeah.”
“How does Xavier know?”
“He’s Havok’s son. Well, he raised Xavier ever since he was a young boy.”
“This is crazy. So why does he hate Ephemerals?”
“They killed his wife and young child.”
“He was married before Savina’s mom?”
Ava nodded and launched into the story. When she was finished, Gabriel got to his feet and paced. “This is a lot to take in.”
“I know. And now I’m struggling with whose side is right. I know his family had Ephemerals kill his wife and child, but they would’ve done it anyway. I mean, whose revenge is more important or have we been fighting for the wrong side this whole time?”
Gabriel stopped, and turned to her. “We’ve been fighting for peace. Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yes, of course. But we’ve always been made to believe the Cimmerians were evil when all it was, was revenge. And when Savina and Colden refused to join, it created another war.”
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t know.” She fell back on the bed with a sigh. “I don’t want to fight anymore.”
“You know the only way to end the war is to kill Havok and the Cimmerians.”
She knew that. But she didn’t want to kill them, because she didn’t want to die. There wasn’t much she could do about it though. Unless, she took Havok’s side, but a life constantly devoted to war was no life at all. “It just sucks. How dare the Cimmerians make me feel sorry for them. After everything they’ve done to us. Even before we had a right to make a decision. They’ve made my life a living hell. I’m tired. I miss home. I miss my dad. This is no way to live. I don’t want to kill people every single day of my life because of someone else’s revenge.”
“I don’t either.”
“I can’t do this much longer, Gabriel. Are the Hunters ready?”
“It’s only been a couple of weeks, Ava. They still need training.”
She sighed. “They have to be ready before Havok announces the next city.”
“I know. They will be.”
“I don’t get why the Cimmerians follow every single one of Havok’s orders.”
“Because he would kill them otherwise. You’ve seen what he’s done to his own kind. Especially if they betray him.”
“It’s like they’re so extremely terrified of dying.”
“And you’re not?”
“I mean sacrificing yourself to save others is so lost on them. They all act like they want more in life or want changes to be made, but none of them do anything about it. They aren’t happy.”
Gabriel stared at her. “You’re not going to do something stupid are you, like sacrifice yourself?”
She didn’t answer.
“You think you’re going to die?”
“I have to remain logical, Gabriel. It could happen.”
“You’ve already got a plan in mind don’t you?”
She looked away. She couldn’t tell him the truth.
“Don’t you dare lie to me.”
Ava met his steely eyes. “I’m not lying.”
“Are you seriously going to get yourself killed for something that may or may not even work?”
“Gabriel, it’s not—.”
“How could you even think that?”
She clenched her teeth. Don’t tell him.
“Do you ever think about anyone else but yourself?”
“You don’t understa—.”
“You wanna try to be a martyr, fine. But you have others to think about. Like your dad. Me.”
Don’t even think about it. “Gabe—.”
“I can’t believe you. After everything we’ve been through, I thought m
aybe you had learned a lesson about putting yourself in these situations.”
“I don’t have a choice—.”
“Yes you do, Ava! You frustrate me so much. I love you. Doesn’t that mean anything—?”
“My soul is linked to Havok’s!” She screamed, her heart dropping to the pit of her stomach.
Gabriel froze and stared at her. “What did you just say?”
She bit her lip, trying to hold the tears back.
“Ava?”
“My soul is linked to Havok’s.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means.” She paused, taking a deep breath, and gripped the edge of the mattress. “It means that whatever happens to Havok, will happen to me. If he dies, so will I.”
His face grew dark, and tears welled in his eyes. “What? How is that possible?”
Ava tried to steady her breathing. “When my mom promised my soul to him, a spell was put in place that linked our souls. When I went to the Necromancer, it set the curse in motion, which strengthened my connection to Havok. Lately, I’ve been seeing things. His memories.”
“And nothing can stop this curse?”
“Only an Elder with powers can unlock it. But there aren’t any available ones.”
“What about Aaron? Gustav?”
“They’ve been tortured, and now they’re powerless.”
“So you’re just giving up?”
“I have no choice, Gabriel. Havok has to die.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to!” He shoved his hands in his thick hair and heaved a sigh.
“I don’t see any way around this. No one knows how to break the curse. I’ve already come to terms with this. I’m ready for what’s to come.”
He tilted his head and studied her. “How long have you known about this?”
“Gabe.”
“How long have you known, Ava?” he demanded, his voice hard.
“Since we first got here.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “And you didn’t feel like this was something to share with me. What am I to you? Is this why you slept with me? Because you’re about to die, you thought maybe you could have one final fling?”
Under an Onyx Sky (Elemental Enchanters Series Book 4) Page 22