A Comfit Of Rogues

by House, Gregory

  “Aye Gulping, and tis still so. Bedwell and m’self we have matters betwixt us that require a very private conversation, but harm?” Canting’s eyebrows shot up like a pair of startled caterpillars. “Nay, I needs Bedwell alive an hale for many a year yet. He’s worth more ta me than a paltry five angels.”

  Jemmy tapped the knife hilt with perplexed fingers. This still wasn’t making any sense. Five angels was not a paltry sum even to the Southwark gang lord.

  Canting nodded again and laughed, no doubt amused by the reaction of his faithful lieutenant. “I’s have another task for ye Gulping. Since y’r his clear advocate, y’r can be his guardian angel in these parts. Yea are to watch over Bedwell and see he comes to no special harm. A pounding in a brawl I care naught, but if’n someone wants his head again yea tell me quick. An' let me know if he calls on that spawn o’ the devil at the Gryne Dragone.”

  Jemmy didn’t have to pretend to be still confounded and confused. What? Was he now Ned Bedwell’s protector? Why?

  That last thought must have slipped onto his face for Canting gave a short yipping laugh and shook his head in not so mock regret. “Why? Why, yea ask. If’n I told yea Gulping then I fear I’d have to slit y’r throat.”

  Jemmy snapped his mouth shut and placed a hand over it in case anymore inopportune words slipped out unsaid. He didn’t need to know that badly.

  Satisfied Canting lent back into his seat and with that strange enigmatic smile raised his beaker in a clear pledge. “To Misrule’s reign, Gulping Jemmy.”

  After a long moment’s silence Jemmy raised his own. This was a Misrule he’d not soon forget.

  *

  While Gulping may have been ‘concerned’ over the welcome from his master, Hobblin’ Hugh was positively shaking with terror. After the slaying of Kut Karl, he’d disappeared down a half choked side alley and hidden for hours in a tumbled down stable behind several sheep and a large grunting sow. Eventually come full dark he’d snuck out, and utilising all his native skills, tracked a winding and discrete path back to Pissing Lane and The Labours of Ajax. A raucous racket of singing and celebration didn’t so much leak out of the door into the street but flooded out washing and rebounding even twenty yards hence. It sent a prickle up Hugh’s spine and he paused in the deeper shadows weighing up its meaning. Were his beggarly companions celebrating a triumph or mourning a defeat?

  Hugh hunkered down behind the concealing bulk of a mound of snow covered refuse pondering on what to do next. It was a real quandary. He was chilled to the bone and shivering, his belly an empty growling chasm and worst of all out on the street alone. He was prey for those night time shadows who snatched up the young and vulnerable. However if he went in was he going to be blamed for the riot at the Shambles? If he’d any spare breath and his teeth weren’t chattering so badly Hugh would have cursed ‘Hawks’ for his evil cozenage.

  The sound of a boot scrunching in the snow echoed from further up the lane and Hugh’s perplexed pondering ran aground on the shoals of terror. Without thought he jumped up and bolted for the half closed door and wriggled inside, prompted by fear he could have sworn long fingers had clutched at his ragged cloak from a deeper well of shadows. Hugh’s breathing sounded like a full set of blacksmith’s bellows and his heart a thumping helve hammer as he lent against the inside wall.

  A loud voice calling out shook him loose from his recent fright. “Isn’ that Hobblin’ Hugh? Come in lad an’ tell us how yea fared at Newgate!”

  Hugh recognised the voice and all a tremble at the summons from his master limped slowly forward into the smoky glow of the commons. Hugh gulped nervously. The place was packed to its low rafters with every manner of beggar, rogue and roister, many bruised and bloody, all their eyes a glow from the fire’s reflection as they watched him approach. Briefly he wondered if his chances would be better outside with the nameless clutching shadow.

  His master’s voice once more rang out in that loud growl. “I give’s you all Hobblin Hugh, our angel o’ victory over the Liberties rats of Earless Nick!”

  After that the evening was a blur for Hugh as he feasted on roast capon, downed whole firkins of fine ale, and received the praise and thanks of his brethren. Misrule’s Reign had favoured him after all and there was not even a single mention of Kut Karl.

  *

  Old Bent Bart poured the second pewter cup of hot spiced wine and eased himself with a wince back into his well–padded chair. “Why thank you Bartholomew! That wasn’t necessary. I can serve myself. Yea mustn’t strain y’self or those bandages and poultices will dislodge.”

  Old Bent Bart grunted in reply and waved a hand abruptly in irritation at the solicitous offer of Prioress Abyngdon. “Yr’ my guest an’ there’s an end of it!”

  The firelight flared in his private chamber and if any could have read the roughly carved face of the master of Beggars they may have been surprised at the display of raw suffering. The Prioress made a show of examining the stone carvings about the fireplace mantle to give her host a measure of privacy to hide his tears of pain. The faded whitewash proclaimed some old motto. Veritas was the only word that still stood out and she found that particularly comforting in this inner sanctum of secrets. Eventually as the silence stretched on she finally spoke once more. “I take it after this day Throckmore’s play is foiled?”

  “Aye, for now. We’ve no more nonsense of the Upright Man, thank St Giles!”

  The Prioress nodded. She was pleased to see her friend despite the pain in his more normal gruff humour. However there was still one nagging issue. “The Bedwell lad, do we know any more on why Throckmore turned the city upside down to gain him and why Agryppa protects him?”

  “No. No we don’t, not a word or a hint.” Old Bent Bart fidgeted with his cup and avoided the penetrating stare of his old patroness. The Bedwell matter was the root cause of all this Misrule mischief. He didn’t want to think on it or else his head would burst with the plots, schemes and evasions that kept on circling the lad. He threw out another result from the day as a distraction. “I’ve lost Kut Karl, slain in the brawl.”

  The Prioress nodded. News like that travelled fast in the city. She clearly didn’t mourn the loss as he did. The Lowlander had a fearsome reputation for brutish and bloody pastimes. Not that it mattered to Old Bent Bart since Karl was damned good at his trade of intimidation. “Will you seek revenge?”

  Old Bent Bart shrugged at the question then winced at the pain of the movement. “I…I don’t know. I owes Earless Nick for the bruises and cozenage though. After today I doubt he’ll be humping his punk Anthea till Easter.”

  That judgement was accompanied by a very evilly satisfied chuckle. Old Bent Bart reckoned his bite’d not be soon forgotten by the so called Lord of the Liberties.

  The Prioress crossed her arms, still clearly unsatisfied. “Bedwell?”

  The name was an accusing question that hung in the air between them and Old Bent Bart seeing she’d nay give up shook his head and threw up his hands in surrender. “Oh all right, I’ll tag him with a watcher if’n that’ll stop yea harping on it!”

  The Prioress replied with a catlike smile of satisfaction and nodded once.

  Old Bent Bart slumped back amongst his cushions displaying every sign of defeat and sipped his warm wine. It was a poor play of cozenage and he suspected she knew it, though it gave him a space to at least to gloat over his winnings for the day. Earless Nick thwarted, Flaunty Phil beaten to a pulp, and as for Captaine Gryne and Canting Michael, well if they didn’t bother him he’d return the compliment. But this day was a wonder, for the parade of Misrule had seen the beggars triumphant and himself richer by ten angels. He must remember to thank Hawkins for his open gift at Newgate. After all, as any man with half a wit knew, five angels for a slaying didn’t equal ten in the purse for the victim to remain quick, hale and hearty. And Hawkins’ patron had played their hand too openly. No doubt they’d be all too ready to pay in the future. Old Bent Bart gave a quiet smile. This was the
finest Misrule Romp he’d had in many a decade. He raised his cup towards his guest, eyes twinkling. “To the twelve days of Christmas and Lord Misrule’s Reign! May it always be so bountiful for beggars, rogues and roisters!”

  Historical Note about Cosenage

  My thanks to Robert Greene, an Elizabethan writer of some note, promising talent, and possessed of a vindictive streak a mile wide. It is from his quill that Ned suffers his more adventurous misfortunes in the doubtful repose of the Liberties. With the advent of the printing press came a flood of books and pamphlets starting of course with the Bible, in either Tyndale, Geneva or Coverdale versions, then the classical Greek and Roman works of history, philosophy and sciences. This eventually gave an opportunity and market for the folios of Master Shakespeare’s works (about whom Greene was livid since it appears he regarded Shakespeare as stealing his rightful position as the leading playwright of London). Finally there were the cheaper Tudor equivalents of penny dreadfuls—news broadsheets and small pamphlets of an improving or cautionary nature such as that fount of all mischief and lewdness; A Notable Discovery of Coosnage 1591 and The Second Part of Cony Catching 1592 where Master Robert Greene gives us an amusing selection of the cons and scams a country gentlemen would have to be wary of when they came to London. If only Red Ned Bedwell could have gotten hold of a copy.

  Regards Gregory House

  Terra Australis 2012

  Religion and spirituality in the Tudor Age as portrayed

  in the Red Ned Tudor Mysteries .

  In this modern secular era, it is sometimes difficult to encompass how deeply religion was embedded in the words, thoughts and actions of our ancestors. The Church was for good and ill part of everyday life. Its parish and cathedral bells announced the time of day and the whole pattern of the year was structured around the calendar of religious festivals. Every individual in the kingdom understood this, starting from birth with the urgent importance of baptism to death and the saying of perpetual masses for the souls of the departed. At this point we have the emergence of the concept of ‘indulgence’ and the ability of the Pope to remit sins via payment and we know where that led to with Martin Luther. In all of this the Latin Vulgate Bible was the fount of authority and knowledge for the King, the Catholic Church and all levels of society, which is why its translation into the vernacular was believed to threaten the very foundations of ‘their Christian society’. The sways to and fro in the Tudor Age were equally about power and belief, with the two sometimes so intermixed it was difficult to separate them, especially in the figures of Sir Thomas More, Cardinal Wolsey and His Sovereign Majesty, Henry VIII. Questions of conscience or expedience determined religious attitudes and delineated a person’s position in society and all too frequently determined their rise or fall on Fortuna’s Wheel.

  To make a valid attempt at presenting this internal and external conflict we characters such as Ned Bedwell view their conscience as two distinct entities, a daemon and a better angel. From a number of biographies, lives of saints and religious writings this division and representation of moral and ethical judgement was very common from the highest sections of society to the lowest and in many cases recorded in church courts regarding grievous sins and petitions for penance, the intercession of demons, devils and angels crops up frequently. It is in its way a very important aspect of the Tudor world view. For instance passages such as ‘the devil sorely tempted me and I gave in’ or ‘my good angel or patron saint steered me clear of the peril of sin’, are very common. Even that great Tudor monarch Henry VIII used this style of Divine intercession and explanation in his public presentation of his need for an annulment, the break with Rome and his marriage to Anne Boleyn.

  Tudor Coinage and values

  During the reign of Henry VIII the value of coins varied wildly since coins were frequently recalled and subsequently reissued with a lower precious metal content to aid the financing of Henry’s expenditure on war and domestic building programs. It got to such a state that the gold sovereign coins stamped with the portrait of the king were nicknamed old copper noses since frequent handling gave them a red gold colour. Rhenish florins, Thalers and Venetian florins were the period’s equivalent of US dollars and accepted all over Europe. All other coins were evaluated to their standard.

  farthing = quarter of a penny (0.25d)

  halfpenny (0.5d)

  1 penny silver coin

  Half groat silver coin worth 2 pence

  Groat silver coin worth 4 pence

  1 shilling silver coin worth 12d

  1 noble a gold coin worth 6s 8d. (80p, or 1/3 of a pound)

  1 Angel a gold coin worth 7 shillings and 6 pence

  1 pound or a sovereign gold coin worth 20 shillings, i.e. 240 pence

  1 mark was the value of 8 ounces of gold or silver; 123 4d

  Common Tudor Terms

  Ale house: Lower in social scale and quality than a tavern. Usually a room with a few benches and a brew house out the back. In theory, they had to be licensed. These were considered by the city officials as the breeding ground of mischief and crime. Often also called a boozing ken in the slang of Tudor London

  Tavern: Equivalent to a modern British Pub or American Bar usually serving reasonable quality food and ale.

  Inn: These establishments were the Sheratons or Hiltons of their age, large buildings with a courtyard and stables used to catering to gentry and nobility.

  Inns of Court: These where not the same kind of Inns as above, instead they were establishments which housed fraternities of lawyers and clerks. The cluster of buildings also contained lawyers chambers, offices and sometimes residences as well as a library of legal texts and records and the community’s Great Hall for feasts and ceremonies. Some of the better known Inns were Gray’s, Middle Temple Inner Temple and Lincoln’s. Minor Inns included Thavies, Chancery, Clifford, Lyon and Strand.

  Stew: a brothel or a region of disreputable activities

  Cony catching: a common term for any manner of con trick or swindle

  Cozener: swindlers, fraudsters tricksters etc

  Cozenage: the art or play of a scam rort, swindle or slight of hand

  Curber, hookman: curbing the art of lifting clothes from a washing line, via the use of a hooked pole hence the term hookman and curber.

  Foister: A sometime more aggressive cozener or cozener’s offsider

  Nip: a young boy working with a foister, or cozener

  Roister: A swaggering rogue keen for trouble and brawling possibly an apprentice since they tended to have that reputation.

  Punk: a common name for a part time prostitute

  Fullans and gourds: two different types of ‘altered’ dice either weighted or hollowed.

  Black Rent: a fee or tithe paid over to a gang lord, justice of the peace or reaving border lord to ensure your house wasn’t burnt down and that your arm remains unbroken.

  Counterfeiting a Crank: a common ploy by the most experienced beggars where they gain donations by pretending to be afflicted with madness and fits.

  Minchin: a young girl in thieves or Liberties cant, also called a mort

  Comfit: this Tudor term refers to the range of sweets and banquet desserts made from seeds, spices and fruits covered in sugar. To be served these was a sign of high esteem and rank, though in some Tudor writings it also is used as a metaphor for brief and passing fame or pleasure. Sweet one moment and gone the next.

  Humours: Tudor medicine believed the human body was made up of four humours and that bleeding or diet could balance the humours according to consultation with an astrological chart, this finally dropped out of favour in the mid 1800’s.

  The Sweats: This was the common name for an epidemic illness that appeared in the 1480’s and periodically swept through the population until the 1700’s when it seemed to disappear. Like the Plague its mortality rate was high and its onset rapid with the infected hale and hearty in the morning and dead by dusk. Both Anne Boleyn and Cardinal Wolsey survived bouts of this illne
ss and were more fortunate than several others at the Royal Court.

  Night School: the common name for a secret gathering of heretics, evangelicals Lollards or Lutherans meeting to study or discuss the smuggled copies of the Bible translated into English.

  Candlemass: The religious festival of the Catholic faith held on the 2nd February about forty days after Christmas and at the mid point between the Winter solstice and the Spring Equinox. Also Groundhog Day in the Eastern USA.

  Hallowtide: The religious festival of All Hallow’s Eve or Halloween 1st November.

  Brandywine: later shortened to brandy, alcoholic distillation of wine occasionally also used to describe wine fortified with brandy.

  Sack: A very popular form of fortified wine similar to sherry sometimes augmented with sugar and brandy for extra taste.