by Michael Todd
Lieutenant Andrews was exhausted by that point. “General, Lieutenant Andrews. I am a pilot for one of the teams in the Alps. I know I don’t report to you, but the higher-ups told me I should give you a call and keep you informed of what’s going on in the area.”
“Yes, Lieutenant. Have we found something new?”
He cleared his throat and spoke quietly. “Actually, sir, yes. It started about two hours ago. There was an avalanche on one of the peaks, followed by two portals appearing in our system. We took a chopper out to see them. We haven’t come to any definitive conclusions, but it looks almost like a demon entered Earth at the top and then somehow, in a short amount of time, exited halfway down the mountain.”
The general lifted an eyebrow. “The demons are snowboarding now?”
“It looks like… Well, we think that…”
“Spit it out, Lieutenant,” the general demanded.
The lieutenant paused for a moment to gather himself. “It looks like he fell down the mountain.”
General Brushwood choked a little and sat up. “So we have a cold-weather clumsy demon on our hands. Interesting.”
“That’s not all. There were a set of footprints leading in the other direction down the side of the mountain. They were human-sized, but whoever it was, he was barefoot. There were two bodies discovered where the footprints led, one completely naked and the other tossed over the side. She was impaled on a tree before she hit the rocks below.”
The general narrowed his eyes. “You’re saying a human did that? A barefoot human on the side of a mountain?”
The lieutenant nervously swallowed. “It appears that way. Shortly after that, three more bodies were discovered in a small town right outside the base of the mountain. Two of them were inside a small restaurant. They found the bodies shoved in the freezer. The third was a delivery boy. His car was stolen and his head bashed in.”
“And we think they are connected?”
“Yes, sir. We tracked the prints and then the tire tracks through the snow, but we lost him not far from there in a medium-sized town to the west. There‘s a lot of traffic there, so he blended right in.” The lieutenant shuffled some papers around, waiting for the general’s response.
The general thought about it for a moment, remembering the footage from the most recent attacks. “Surely someone there got a video of this, either purposefully or by accident. Did either of the dead on the Alps have a camera or anything on them?”
“No, but we are searching for video footage as we speak. So far, nothing has come up, but I’m sure it will.”
The general sighed. “All right, keep me informed. This shit gets weirder every day.”
“So wait, this doohickey is a what, now?” Calvin asked, holding up a piece of equipment.
Alice stared at him for a moment and took it out of his hand. “A heat-sensing molecular model simulator. It’s just a piece of the puzzle. We take our readings in hell, then come back. This doohickey will help us build a computer simulation of the hellscape. That way, we’ll be able to better analyze the data and understand the environment.”
Calvin nodded. “Right. And when you do that, we’ll be able to plan for a war that we take to them.”
Alice looked at him and blinked. “That will be one of the uses, yes. We will also be able to make uncountable and previously inconceivable scientific discoveries about another dimension. Alien life. It’s huge, very huge.”
Calvin looked at her, unimpressed. “I wouldn’t call them alien. I think more supernatural. They are demons, fallen angels, the soulless.”
Alice sighed. She did not want to have that discussion again. “Okay, let’s suppose you’re right. Everything in the bible is true, and we are fighting Lucifer and his army. Then where is God in all of this? Shouldn’t we be as interested in exploring that side as we are this? Shouldn’t we be sitting down with God and creating an alliance so he can send in troops and give a sister a hand?”
Calvin stared at her, seeing she obviously was not on the same page as him. “I don’t think it works that way. Besides, they did send an angel down.”
Both Alice and Calvin looked at Katie. She was in a corner talking to herself. They watched as she cursed loudly. “Look, bitch, you’ll get your goddamned donuts. Just shut the fuck up so we can get this done.”
Alice gestured to Katie. “I can see that her angelic qualities lead the way.”
Calvin knew when he was beaten. He left Alice to her doohickey and walked to where the teams were divvying up the gear. Brock held up one of the vests. “We need to put some gear aside for Katie.”
Katie waved her hand. “No, just worry about you right now. I’m going to need the least amount of gear in the beginning.”
Brock nodded. “I think that goes for Calvin and me, too. The three of us have pretty strong demons, that should help keep us together. I want the rest of you guys protected, though. We’ve never been in this environment.”
The doctor tapped Katie on the shoulder. “Excuse me? There is plenty of gear, but how about the instruments? Most of this stuff is vital. Tactically, I mean. It’s going to give you the information you need to make informed decisions in the future.”
Katie looked at Brock. “You guys got this part?”
Brock and Calvin gave a thumbs-up. “Got it, fearless leader.”
Katie put her hand on the doctor’s back and led him to his area. “Okay, show me how it works.”
He looked at her, startled, and began. “By measuring subatomic—"
“No, no. Not the technical. Just show me the gear you need to bring and how it transmits its findings. Keep explanations to on and off switches, please.”
The doctor pointed to a pile of gadgets in boxes. “Those are the machines that will take all the readings. We will need to adjust some of them once we are on the ground. Those readings are then instantly sent to the receiver packs on my and Alice’s side. All the readings are stored in there and backed up into the system if the connection allows it. Otherwise, the data sits in these until we get back.”
“Oh, okay. So the machines take the readings, the readings go to your fanny packs, and everything is sent to your backup. That makes it a little simpler.” Katie mumbled to herself.
She walked to the pile and put her hand on her chin, looking at the amount of equipment. She ran some ideas through her head, trying to figure out the best way to handle all that gear. “We can’t have the guys carry the equipment. I need them for protection. It’s too much to Ghostbuster strap to your backs, that’s for damn sure. Let me think…wait. I have an idea.”
The doctor watched as Katie ran from the main room into the hall and came back, pulling a large rolling cart behind her. She stopped it in front of the doctor and put her hands out. “This is specially made to withstand the heat. It’s made of an alloy–based metal…”
The doctor looked at her with a straight face. “Yes, it can withstand up to twelve hundred degrees Fahrenheit. I am familiar. What does this have to do with me?”
Katie snarled and pointed at the equipment. “We take your equipment and rig it onto this cart. We’ll be able to make it so you can remove it if necessary, but the cart will keep it secure on the unknown terrain and allow for quick movement.”
The doctor’s face turned beet-red. “You’re telling me you want to destroy one-of-a-kind inventions that will change the course of science as we know it by drilling into them and bolting them to a luggage cart?”
Katie lifted an eyebrow. “Don’t you have the plans for these inventions?”
The doctor nodded. “Well, yes.”
Katie waved a few of the soldiers over. “Then stop whining. They can be remade, but you can’t. We do everything smarter not harder. In and out as fast as possible.”
The guys walked over, staring at the cart and the equipment. Katie smiled and batted her eyelashes. “All right, gentleman. The doctor here needs this equipment mounted on these rolling carts. They need to be removable, and they nee
d to function on the cart. If there needs to be insulation, fine; whatever the doctor says. We want our hands to be as free as possible.”
Brock stared at all the equipment. “They make phones that fit in your pocket with apps that can turn your sprinkler on from another country, but you can’t condense this?”
The doctor snapped his head toward Brock. “I’m sorry. We have made ungodly technical advances in the few brief years of this war. We didn’t know we would be leisurely strolling into the depths of hell in my lifetime. We weren’t really worried about condensing it down yet.”
Katie laughed, patting Brock on the shoulder. “Just help him figure out how to load all this shit in. This is why we’re going, after all. When we’re done, let’s all get some rest. We’ll leave right after.”
Katie pushed her barracks door open and closed it behind her. She yawned loudly and took off her holster, tossing it onto the dusty table. She was exhausted and hungry, but it was too late for chow at this point. She undressed and sat down on the bed, running her hands over her sore scalp.
Pandora grumbled loudly. How am I supposed to make sure you’re at your best under these conditions?
Lord, you act as if we’re sleeping outside on the ground.
Katie laid down on the bed, pulling the scratchy blanket up over her. She could feel the coils beneath her body expanding and contracting as she moved. Pandora scoffed and started to laugh. Oh, this is fucking rich. While I’m supposed to be setting you up to be tough and strong tomorrow, you’re going to get a rib punctured by a fucking mattress coil. They could have at least brought in the decent ones or given you the same privileges as the officers.
Katie groaned and attempted to roll over. The bed squeaked loudly under her. We all have the same conditions. Just relax and try to get some rest. The more you bitch about something we can’t change, the less time we have to power up for tomorrow’s trip.
Pandora grumbled but quieted down. Katie closed her eyes. Just as she began to drift off, her phone rang loudly. She growled at the phone. Pandora growled along with her.
How do you even get a signal down here?
Bargain-bin mattress technology, state-of-the-art phone technology.
She clicked on the phone and pulled herself from bed. “General Brushwood. I was wondering when I would hear from you.”
“Sorry to call you so late. I was wondering if I could speak to Pandora about a possible problem.”
Katie began pacing the floor. “That sounds interesting. Sure, hold on one second.”
She pulled the phone from her ear. Oh, darling, it’s for you.
Thanks, boo. Don’t wait up.
Pandora took over Katie’s body with every intention of letting the general have it over her distinct lack of donuts. “General, you have some explaining to do.”
The general cut in, “Before you say it, the donuts will be there in the morning, bright and early. I had to go with a civilian because everyone else was busy preparing the base. I had a delivery guy, but he was some burnout kid who couldn’t get the security clearance to pass through the gates. I’ve got my best on it, though.”
Pandora shook her head. “Leave it to the military to hurry up and wait on hot and ready.”
The general laughed. “In the meantime, something has gone down. I had a call from an officer this afternoon telling me there was an avalanche on a mountain. After the avalanche, there were two portals, one on top of the mountain near the summit and another farther down the mountainside. There were also footprints, apparently human, leading down the side of the mountain to a location where two hikers were discovered dead. One was naked, the other, the woman, tossed over the edge and impaled on a tree. A little later, they discovered three more bodies in a small town at the base, a stolen truck, and tracks that led to a city about sixty miles away.”
Pandora froze as she thought about the events. “That sounds like a full days’ work. Where exactly is this mountain?”
“The Alps, near Switzerland.”
Pandora resumed Katie’s pacing. “Interesting. It maybe sounds like Juntto, one of the seven.”
The general was taken aback by that. “A Leviathan? But I thought they were all sea creatures?”
Pandora shook her head. “That was Tiamat. Well, maybe Baylahn as well. But no, we demons tend to call the Seven Monsters of Time Leviathans because their ability to destroy is legendary. It’s not based on their size. They come in all sizes and shapes, just like you humans. Tiamat was one thing, but Juntto is something else.”
General Brushwood started writing the information down. “Okay, Juntto. Do you have any information on this character? What is he? What does he want?”
Pandora pointed her finger. “Yes, he’s a giant.”
The general huffed in frustration. “I thought you said they weren’t all large?”
“I did, but Juntto isn’t Tiamat-large. He’s just a few stories tall, I think. And he isn’t always large. He can shapeshift his body. He can change into just about anything he wants to, at least anything living. He isn’t originally from Earth, like Tiamat.”
The general stopped, slightly stumped. “So, wait, there are aliens? We have demons, and now we have aliens? Hell has aliens as allies?”
Pandora rolled her eyes. “General, what would you call me? Indigenous?”
General Brushwood face-palmed. “Right. You aren’t from Earth, are you?”
Pandora smirked. “Not even close. Anyway, his kind are about fighting, fucking, and food. The three premier Fs that your planet is always willing to provide. Pretty much in that order, too.”
The general cracked up. “Sounds like the rest of the men on this planet. Food is important, but not as important as the other two.”
“Yeah, except he’s extremely powerful. Don’t underestimate him because he can appear in human form. He can morph at any moment, and his strength is godlike.”
The general sighed. “Any idea what he is up to?”
“He will likely try to find a base of operations and then start building an army. He’s kind of obsessed with building himself an empire. He did all kinds of fucking with humanity a few millennia ago, then he just disappeared. We never had to mess with him.”
“Interesting,” the general mumbled.
“I suppose it is if you’re into that kind of thing. He’s like a bad Thor, only his fists are his hammers, his hair isn’t as nice, and he gives zero fucks,” Pandora replied.
The general looked up, thinking about superheroes. “Any idea what his weaknesses are? Every villain has a weakness, just like every superhero.”
Pandora leaned her head back and rubbed her eyes. “Women, for about ten seconds, and even then he might just kill them. I’m assuming that’s what happened to your hiker. She probably tried to fight him off, and he got tired of it. He’s like a big, scary Viking. He starts out as a Frost King and can withstand any temperature. Coming down the mountain barefoot and naked was probably like a spring afternoon stroll for the big guy. He didn’t even feel the wind against his frozen balls. Most likely, he put on the naked hikers’ clothes so he could blend into the town he entered. He’s resourceful, as are most of his kind. He is capable of adapting to any time and place pretty fast. It won’t be long until he is swiping right and left on a dating app.”
The general cursed. “So we have an alien who shapeshifts, is incredibly strong, and likes to kill, and he’s wandering around Europe right now. Oh, and he’s planning on building an empire. Did I get that all correct?”
Pandora gave him a thumbs-up. “Pretty much.”
The general put down his pen and scanned the information in front of him. “Am I looking at two separate problems here? I thought the demons wanted Earth. Now I have aliens with superpowers who want it too?”
“It’s all connected, General. Moloch is probably the one who roused him from whatever corner he’d slunk into. I know they have a history and aren’t exactly the best of friends. Juntto is good at building armies so Molo
ch will try to use him. They’ll probably figure either you’ll kill him after losing a whole shitload of your own men, or they will have to kill him in a hundred years or something. You aren’t thinking like a demon. We don’t think short-term, we think long-term. If your Earth politicians are thinking you’ll have this wrapped up by next year, they have a big turd of a surprise coming around the corner. The elections are going to suck for the incumbents.”
The general smiled. “Politicians have no concept of time. Half of them don’t even know how long the World Wars took. You mention a time period any longer than four years and their eyes haze over. Not in their term? Not their problem.”
“Humans are so small-minded sometimes. Unfortunately, this is everyone’s problem. The purpose of us going to hell is to see if we can take the pain to them. Otherwise, the attrition percentages aren’t going to stack up in humanity’s favor.”
The general closed his notes and leaned back, putting the pen in the corner of his mouth. “Okay, so tell me this. What happens if we kill a demon in hell?”
Pandora shrugged. “Not sure. Normally when you kill a demon, they’re tossed into the depths of hell, and it takes them a shit-ton of time to get back.”
The general snarled his lip. “I was hoping for something more like, ‘They die for all eternity.’ I don’t think we want to parade that information around. People are looking for a quick fix, and they tend to put things off if they don’t think it will personally affect them. Thus the whole global warming problem. The demons might win, but they’re going to inherit a bunch of shit, just like the president did.”
Pandora cackled. “Such is the circle of life. We all inherit some kind of past shit. Hell, I’m rolling around in this human-angel body fighting a war my predecessors started, and I didn’t even want to do anything but fuck, eat, and get away from my ex-husband.”
“Sounds like my ex-wife. I’m starting to think she was a demon, but then I remember that, no, she was just a bitch. She started out like a firecracker but became a mean old woman running around in short skirts, going on cougar cruises, and getting tattoos. The midlife crisis never left that one. Anyway, I would appreciate it if you kept that information about demon regeneration to you and Katie.”